The downside to being beautiful...

[S_A]

Every male friend you will have throughout your life is secretly in love with you, and not really a true friend...

 

I can't really knock you for such a statement. Though I've been friends with females I did not want to sleep with. Even good looking ones.

 

Actually, now that I think about it, the girl that does my hair is very good looking, but I've never fantasized about her once. I honestly would never consider sleeping with her. The thought of it actually makes me a little sick because I have trouble seeing her in that "special" way. I'm not sure why to be honest.

 

My GF goes to her as well now (she's talented) and I find it hot as hell that my GF does not feel the least bit intimidated by her. I like the confidence. Though GF looks great too.

[jen1447]

They make a fabulous pair.

[yxalitis]

My ex wife was considered beautiful, although she didn't suffer the sorts of problems mention here.

 

I, however, was asked more than once:

 

"How the hell did you get such a beautiful wife?!"

 

Oh, gee, thanks....

[preraph]

I agree they have their own set of problems to deal with and I also agree with the poster who said they had a lot more doors open to them. For women, I think the biggest thing that bothers them is wasting time on someone and then finding out all they care about is your looks and aren't really requiring anything else of you. I know for men, the really good looking ones can get a lot of hangers-on stalkery type women who become a problem and some of them have trouble with resentment from other males who just hate him.

 

The women, when young, get jobs handed to them, but then if they do, usually their boss becomes a problem. Most of the ones I've been around knew how to work that though because they'd had years to figure it out.

 

Still, they're very lucky in many ways.

 

I think it's funny the subject came up not to call someone anorexic but yet everyone feels fine about talking about people being fat.

 

P.S. just because they eat a lot doesn't mean they're not purging in the bathroom afterward. But yes, there are some people who are naturally skinny.

[loveweary11]

 

I think it's funny the subject came up not to call someone anorexic but yet everyone feels fine about talking about people being fat.

 

 

That's because you actually are fat when people say you are fat. Anorexic is an insult based in a presumption. Huge difference.

 

Calling an in shape person anorexic is the same as calling an overweight person a pig. It presumes their level of food consumption based on an initial glance alone.

[S_A]

They make a fabulous pair.

 

Haha. Of course you show up once they are mentioned. Your Jen-radar must have sensed they were mentioned sonewhere on LS

[preraph]

That's because you actually are fat when people say you are fat. Anorexic is an insult based in a presumption. Huge difference.

 

Calling an in shape person anorexic is the same as calling an overweight person a pig. It presumes their level of food consumption based on an initial glance alone.

 

Exactly my point!

[yxalitis]

I was in a night club with a friend considered quite good looking.

I just sat back and watched the number of approaches he received...pretty woman just came over and started talking to him, I was Mr. Invisible sitting right beside him...

Yeah, I don't feel much sympathy with the plight of the attractive...give me a break!

[WomenWubber]

Like it or not, being beautiful is part of who you are. It sucks that people assume things about you, but hey that's life for ya.

 

How do you and your friends react when people compliment you on your looks?

[KatZee]

I totally relate to a lot of these things. I wouldn't say I'm a 10 by any means, but I'm attractive.

 

Sexual harassment #1 for sure. I've had complete strangers just grope my body. Not even in a club/bar situation either, completely random me just walking down the street, or up the stairs. This also extends into verbal street harassment in NYC. I've had men follow me in their cars while I walked home, screaming at me from the car, telling me to stop being a bitch by ignoring them.

 

Guys not taking me seriously. By this I mean, I get TONS of guys who like to be my orbiters. I think they get the impression that I'll be easy to get into bed?? And once they find this out they are gone. Or, the main thing that happens is that guys never talk to me. I go out with friends places and not one guy will ever do a cold approach. I've been told I look "intimidating" or that because I'm attractive these guys are too insecure to talk to me.

 

Other girls/women. This by far is the worst of it. Women are not your friend. You are their competition. I've had so many other women hate me for absolutely no other reason than the fact I was a threat to them in some way. I've had people who I thought were my friends but turned out to just be talking so badly about me behind my back. A grown woman is VERY lucky if she has a handful of true, sincere friends. Most other women will toss other attractive women straight under the bus just to make themselves look better.

 

I was bullied RELENTLESSLY when I was younger, and realized that bullies don't necessarily go away when you're in your 20's either.

 

I can't say that I've ever had something just "handed" to me because I am attractive, nor have things come any easier. I've never gotten a job faster or easier, I've never gotten out of a speeding ticket, I'm not given free things.

 

I think people automatically assume that when someone is attractive, their life is amazing and flawless and struggle free. It's not. Not even a little bit. Maybe there are some people truly blessed but if people were to judge me about my looks alone, and then actually hear my stories, I think they'd be blown away.

[WomenWubber]

I totally relate to a lot of these things. I wouldn't say I'm a 10 by any means, but I'm attractive.

 

Sexual harassment #1 for sure. I've had complete strangers just grope my body. Not even in a club/bar situation either, completely random me just walking down the street, or up the stairs. This also extends into verbal street harassment in NYC. I've had men follow me in their cars while I walked home, screaming at me from the car, telling me to stop being a bitch by ignoring them.

 

Guys not taking me seriously. By this I mean, I get TONS of guys who like to be my orbiters. I think they get the impression that I'll be easy to get into bed?? And once they find this out they are gone. Or, the main thing that happens is that guys never talk to me. I go out with friends places and not one guy will ever do a cold approach. I've been told I look "intimidating" or that because I'm attractive these guys are too insecure to talk to me.

 

Other girls/women. This by far is the worst of it. Women are not your friend. You are their competition. I've had so many other women hate me for absolutely no other reason than the fact I was a threat to them in some way. I've had people who I thought were my friends but turned out to just be talking so badly about me behind my back. A grown woman is VERY lucky if she has a handful of true, sincere friends. Most other women will toss other attractive women straight under the bus just to make themselves look better.

 

I was bullied RELENTLESSLY when I was younger, and realized that bullies don't necessarily go away when you're in your 20's either.

 

I can't say that I've ever had something just "handed" to me because I am attractive, nor have things come any easier. I've never gotten a job faster or easier, I've never gotten out of a speeding ticket, I'm not given free things.

 

I think people automatically assume that when someone is attractive, their life is amazing and flawless and struggle free. It's not. Not even a little bit. Maybe there are some people truly blessed but if people were to judge me about my looks alone, and then actually hear my stories, I think they'd be blown away.

 

Now with your post, I have a deeper undestanding of what Hopeful30 is talking about.

 

Thanks for sharing this.

[loveweary11]

Exactly my point!

 

Right, but that cuts both ways. Strangers shouldn't do either to either group.

 

We agree.

[loveweary11]

Obviously at least as attractive as my exes who had all the same problems (as i put in my post).

 

People just don't believe it, but if any of you doubters could do some body switching (Futurama reference) for a day, you'd see it's not all sunshine and rainbows.

 

 

I totally relate to a lot of these things. I wouldn't say I'm a 10 by any means, but I'm attractive.

 

Sexual harassment #1 for sure. I've had complete strangers just grope my body. Not even in a club/bar situation either, completely random me just walking down the street, or up the stairs. This also extends into verbal street harassment in NYC. I've had men follow me in their cars while I walked home, screaming at me from the car, telling me to stop being a bitch by ignoring them.

 

Guys not taking me seriously. By this I mean, I get TONS of guys who like to be my orbiters. I think they get the impression that I'll be easy to get into bed?? And once they find this out they are gone. Or, the main thing that happens is that guys never talk to me. I go out with friends places and not one guy will ever do a cold approach. I've been told I look "intimidating" or that because I'm attractive these guys are too insecure to talk to me.

 

Other girls/women. This by far is the worst of it. Women are not your friend. You are their competition. I've had so many other women hate me for absolutely no other reason than the fact I was a threat to them in some way. I've had people who I thought were my friends but turned out to just be talking so badly about me behind my back. A grown woman is VERY lucky if she has a handful of true, sincere friends. Most other women will toss other attractive women straight under the bus just to make themselves look better.

 

I was bullied RELENTLESSLY when I was younger, and realized that bullies don't necessarily go away when you're in your 20's either.

 

I can't say that I've ever had something just "handed" to me because I am attractive, nor have things come any easier. I've never gotten a job faster or easier, I've never gotten out of a speeding ticket, I'm not given free things.

 

I think people automatically assume that when someone is attractive, their life is amazing and flawless and struggle free. It's not. Not even a little bit. Maybe there are some people truly blessed but if people were to judge me about my looks alone, and then actually hear my stories, I think they'd be blown away.

[h0000]

Hmm...I am not too sure the purpose of this discussion..so there are downsides to being beautiful, do you want to be ugly now? Didn't think so....

 

Also I think those downsides are a little exaggerated ...for example

1.You really don't "always" get people stare at you for doing normal things..if you wear no make up, I am sure you can blend in the crowd a lot better.

2.Sexual harassment is not a routine..it's really not that bad.Does not happen on a daily basis.

3. People getting intimidated? Yes but there are many many other people who aren't intimidated.

4. Most women hate you? oh give us some credit..plus no one really looks as gorgeous as Snow White (with no makeup)

5. Guys don't take you seriously? It happens to not-so-attractive women too.

 

I find lots of women attractive, as long as they take care of themselves. So there simply isn't that much attention that can be given to every attractive one.

[Phoe]

Heh, the disgruntled comments in this thread make me glad to be on the average end of the spectrum.

 

Don't have to deal with the problems that come from either end of the looks scale. Can fly under the radar unnoticed, don't have issues with unwanted attention

[jen1447]

Heh, the disgruntled comments in this thread make me glad to be on the average end of the spectrum.

 

Don't have to deal with the problems that come from either end of the looks scale. Can fly under the radar unnoticed, don't have issues with unwanted attention

 

Liar.

[Phoe]

Liar.

 

Jen What am I lying about?

 

Sure, I got harassed once at work, and have been catcalled 2 or 3 times in my life, and yeah I disliked it and wanted to fall into a black hole during those times, but all in all I never have to worry about getting unwanted attention. I can go about my day without issues. I don't get shouted at or leered at, I don't get followed and creeped on, I don't have to be concerned about whether someone's gonna try to touch me innappropriately.

 

Katzee's post detailed some very frustrating scenarios, ones that I gladly don't have to deal with.

 

I'm an anxious person sometimes as it is, and if I had to put up with that every time I left the house, I'd probably hate leaving the house. I'd probably lash out, I'd probably get pretty damn grumpy and stressed.

[loveweary11]

Psst: That was a compliment, Phoe. Saying you're lying about not getting a lot of unwanted attention. That's also why I "liked" it... to agree you probably get more attention than you are letting on. (because you are attractive)

[Phoe]

Psst: That was a compliment, Phoe. Saying you're lying about not getting a lot of unwanted attention. That's also why I "liked" it... to agree you probably get more attention than you are letting on. (because you are attractive)

 

Well, a man made eye contact with me at the gym today (people say that's a "thing" when people are paying attention? Not sure about the validity of that lmao), and a nice lady smiled a lot while talking with me and called me a doll, but none of that is bad! None of that is the unwanted negativeness or harassment that has been mentioned throughout the thread.

 

Although coworkers do tell me I need to eat more. That I'm "too little". That grates on me. But it's not intended as some kind of nasty harassing thing.

[KatZee]

 

Katzee's post detailed some very frustrating scenarios, ones that I gladly don't have to deal with.

 

I'm an anxious person sometimes as it is, and if I had to put up with that every time I left the house, I'd probably hate leaving the house. I'd probably lash out, I'd probably get pretty damn grumpy and stressed.

 

I deal with anxiety as well.

 

I am very prone to lashing out and grumpy/stressed is pretty much an every day thing. Especially in NYC.

 

Most days I keep sunglasses on and earbuds in. Kind of like a "safety blanket" type deal.

 

Honestly, most days I don't even feel like a human being. I feel like a thing. And this isn't, "wah wah pity party feel sorry for me." It just is what it is. Very rarely do people take time to even get to know who I am.

 

People don't think it's an actual thing, to be attractive with problems. I can feel the eye rolls all the way over here. "Oh yeah, would you rather be ugly? No? Then shut up."

[jen1447]

Well, a man made eye contact with me at the gym today (people say that's a "thing" when people are paying attention? Not sure about the validity of that lmao), and a nice lady smiled a lot while talking with me and called me a doll, but none of that is bad! None of that is the unwanted negativeness or harassment that has been mentioned throughout the thread.

 

Although coworkers do tell me I need to eat more. That I'm "too little". That grates on me. But it's not intended as some kind of nasty harassing thing.

 

Totally a compliment hon - it's great that you don't get harassed and all that but I bet you get a lot more silent appreciation than you realize.

[h0000]

I think what Phoe described is what usually happens to beautiful women. You get harassed, you get shouted at, you get people intimidated, you get people jealous, but normally just a handful of times. Once a week, or once a month, and not always malicious. Certainly not that bad to make your life miserable.

I am not sure why KatZee experienced so many horrible things, but I don't think it's all about the look.

[KatZee]

I am not sure why KatZee experienced so many horrible things, but I don't think it's all about the look.

 

I live in a s.h!tty city, that's why I've experienced so many horrible things. The city is rough. It's gritty. It's invasive, and crude.

 

Harassment doesn't happen to me on a monthly basis. Multiple times a week is more accurate.

 

As for people not cold approaching me, this isn't my fault, it's already been written about here. Dudes don't cold approach attractive women due to feeling not good enough or she's intimidating.

 

I was once out at a bar and this good looking guy was staring me down hardcore. Even my friend noticed it and told me. I looked at him, smiled and gave him the green light to say something to me, and.... nothing.

 

As for people hating me / disliking me when not even knowing me? Can I tell you how many "friends" I've lost who suddenly had to cut contact with me because their new girlfriends were insecure with us being friends? As if I was just going to steal their man or something?

 

I've had people hating on me just for the fact I was in a relationship with a guy they had secretly harbored feelings for. One of my ex's had a friend who I am convinced would have dated him in a hot second. This chick HATED ME. Before she even met me she hated me. I had what she always wanted. The jealousy that I had "taken" something that wasn't even hers was so palpable.

[Phoe]

I think what Phoe described is what usually happens to beautiful women. You get harassed, you get shouted at, you get people intimidated, you get people jealous, but normally just a handful of times. Once a week, or once a month, and not always malicious. Certainly not that bad to make your life miserable.

I am not sure why KatZee experienced so many horrible things, but I don't think it's all about the look.

 

For me, harassment is a once every few years type thing, but that still is enough to be offputting, grating, and scary when it happens.

 

Although I live in a small town and Katzee lives in the city. That takes the chance of opportunities for unpleasant interactions up quite a bit.

[h0000]

I live in a s.h!tty city, that's why I've experienced so many horrible things. The city is rough. It's gritty. It's invasive, and crude.

 

Harassment doesn't happen to me on a monthly basis. Multiple times a week is more accurate.

 

As for people not cold approaching me, this isn't my fault, it's already been written about here. Dudes don't cold approach attractive women due to feeling not good enough or she's intimidating.

 

I was once out at a bar and this good looking guy was staring me down hardcore. Even my friend noticed it and told me. I looked at him, smiled and gave him the green light to say something to me, and.... nothing.

 

As for people hating me / disliking me when not even knowing me? Can I tell you how many "friends" I've lost who suddenly had to cut contact with me because their new girlfriends were insecure with us being friends? As if I was just going to steal their man or something?

 

I've had people hating on me just for the fact I was in a relationship with a guy they had secretly harbored feelings for. One of my ex's had a friend who I am convinced would have dated him in a hot second. This chick HATED ME. Before she even met me she hated me. I had what she always wanted. The jealousy that I had "taken" something that wasn't even hers was so palpable.

 

Harassment few times a week is terrible. You really should move:p

Cold approaching? if you've given the guy the green light I doubt he will still get intimidated. It just doesn't make sense to me especially when he is hot himself. If I were you, I would think he was just looking without the intention to make effort to know you. And I would not make it about my looks. Plus, who cares about cold approaching?

As far as people hating you, well they aren't your friends and aren't affecting your life, so who cares. We all make enemies. However people generally cut down contact with their opposite sex friends once they are in a relationship and it has nothing to do with your look.