Diezel Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Sure okay, whatever he "says" right? Have fun tomorrow... let's see if his *actions* back up what he *says*. I'm sorry Gaeta, I am gonna bow out of this thread. I just don't have a good feeling, and don't want my attitude to influence your feelings. Obviously you are okay with all this, and that is all that matters. Have fun!! I really don't get you. You are so positive in situations that clearly call for realism (or pessimism as you would so call it), but in situations like this, you try to act as the sole wake up call. You can't tell someone you are bowing out and that you don't want your attitude to influence feelings when that is CLEARLY WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO DO BY STATING YOU ARE BOWING OUT. If I've learned anything, it's by far that Gaeta seems to be the one of the most cautious (if not overly cautious) posters in LS. Just because some people don't follow what you say to a tee, and in the manner you want them too, it doesn't mean you need to bow out of anything. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 I think this one can go either way. All I can say is good luck and hope it works out! No reason to be intimidated, you are a professional too and it's good if the guy is "above" you in terms of career and all. Other than that, time will tell, and I am not worried about you, you have a lot of experience. If it finally works out, yay, kudos to you for perseverance!! That's a key trait in life, imo. If it doesn't, I'm sure you'll survive very well, it wouldn't be the first time a guy isn't working out. Not the end of the world. He seems to be coming a bit too strong, but we don't know him from Adam so I say so far so good, keep us posted and I'm personally rooting for you! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 I really don't get you. You are so positive in situations that clearly call for realism (or pessimism as you would so call it), but in situations like this, you try to act as the sole wake up call. You can't tell someone you are bowing out and that you don't want your attitude to influence feelings when that is CLEARLY WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO DO BY STATING YOU ARE BOWING OUT. If I've learned anything, it's by far that Gaeta seems to be the one of the most cautious (if not overly cautious) posters in LS. Just because some people don't follow what you say to a tee, and in the manner you want them too, it doesn't mean you need to bow out of anything. I didn't bow out because she doesn't agree with me... come on now you know me better than that....I will belaber my point ad nauseum if I think it will help bring someone to their senses! Gaeta is almost 50 years old, dated 100+ guys, she *knows* what she's doing... she certainly doesn't need "my" help or words of wisdom to figure all this out. Hardly. I don't have a good feeling about this guy; I have said my peace about that; I have nothing more to offer that would be of benefit to her. THAT is why I bowed out. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Wait... katie... I thought you were bowing out? Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Wait... katie... I thought you were bowing out? Haha very funny.... Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Haha very funny.... What do I win? Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 What do I win? What...getting me to laugh wasn't enough? :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Gaeta honey I still have fingers crossed that this goes well for you! Keep us up to date! Big hugs! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 I never said presidents and Prime ministers. I said leaders. You have all kinds of leaders in the world, leaders in medical fields etc. Did he give you any specifics that you're not giving us? Like who exactly he's talking about? Because it really sounds like a bunch of BS. =/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted April 17, 2015 Author Share Posted April 17, 2015 Did he give you any specifics that you're not giving us? Like who exactly he's talking about? Because it really sounds like a bunch of BS. =/ I don't want to be throwing names left and right but one story was about the prince of monaco. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 I don't want to be throwing names left and right but one story was about the prince of monaco. I know someone who knows him and I think they may have gone to school together. Apparently he is fabulous fun. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted April 18, 2015 Author Share Posted April 18, 2015 So we had an amazing 4th date :-) We spent 7 hours together. He cooked dinner, it was mind blowing. He did everything from scratch and it was like watching a cooking show! I can't believe a soufflé came out of my own oven lol I'm a little anxious this morning cause usually they bail after 3-4 dates but I have no control over that, right. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 So it was at your place then. Was hoping it was at his. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 So it was at your place then. Was hoping it was at his. So was I - I am now desperate to know if he has pots and pans!!! Please go to his house and check his cupboards for me Gaeta!!! So pleased all went well! Come on Gal keep at it this could be the one!!!! Fingers still crossed! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted April 22, 2015 Author Share Posted April 22, 2015 (edited) A little update: After our wonderful time together Friday he sent me a couple of messages saying what an amazing time he had with me. I noticed he was a little quieter than his usual. The following day (Sunday) we were making plans to do something together and he gave me a call. He told me he was very tired but still wanted to see me. Then after a few minutes conversation he told me I might as well know now, he sometimes struggles with depression, it never last long, a few days then he is back to himself. He thought wine Friday night brought it on. He insisted still on seeing me but a couple of hours after he sent me a message he couldn't do it and rescheduled for a lunch Tuesday. Today came by and this morning I got a text that he was not doing well, he apologized and assured me he would get better soon and he would call me Wed or Thurs. I replied I understood depression and to not worry about me. To take good care of himself and when he feels better I'll be right here. He sent me a kiss and said he'll call me. I believe him entirely. He never went back on the dating site and he has no reasons to come up with a story like this. It was not easy for him to tell me this over the phone. So I will wait for him to get better and I'll ask him to tell me more about it, what type of depression it is, what are his triggers, etc. I don't think he is medicated. During out dinner he made a comment he hates meds and won't even take a tylenol. Edited April 22, 2015 by Gaeta Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Mmm, gaeta, I'm sorry to hear that! I hope it's true and that he's not using that as some lame excuse to bow out. FWIW, my roommate struggles with clinical depression, and it seriously effects her ability to contribute to relationships of any kind. We're friends, but I've learned not to rely on her for any type of emotional support when she's deep in, because she simply brings everything back to her and her depression. It's tough. In my opinion, she does better when she's on medication, as it REALLY helps with her mood and hope in the future. Without them, she's hard to be around. I don't say this to rag on folks with depression, it's just to say that if this man struggles similarly, you've got a tough road ahead. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted April 22, 2015 Author Share Posted April 22, 2015 There are 9 types of depression and I need to know what he struggles with before deciding if I can deal with it or not. If it's just a matter of leaving him alone for his spout to pass I have no problem with that. Apparently he has been sleeping since Friday, he's tired, lazy, it sounds like atypical depression or situational depression. If it's something like bi polar with aggressiveness, irritability, and mood swings then no, it's not something I will integrate in my life. During our phone conversation about it he seemed to have a good grip on what he has and what he needed to do. He is 45, very smart, has resources, I doubt he is not doing all he can. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted April 24, 2015 Author Share Posted April 24, 2015 My new man had to check himself into a clinic :-( What have I done to this world to inherit so many obstacles!! Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 My new man had to check himself into a clinic :-( What have I done to this world to inherit so many obstacles!! OMG! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 My new man had to check himself into a clinic :-( What have I done to this world to inherit so many obstacles!! I know... poor you, right? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 My new man had to check himself into a clinic :-( What have I done to this world to inherit so many obstacles!! I dunno Gaeta... exercising a little more discretion with respect to whom you choose to get involved with might help. There were red flags waving with this guy right from the get go... I am sorry though, I know you were hoping he might be it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted April 24, 2015 Author Share Posted April 24, 2015 I know... poor you, right? Today, you're an insensitive idiot. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted April 24, 2015 Author Share Posted April 24, 2015 (edited) I dunno Gaeta... exercising a little more discretion with respect to whom you choose to get involved with might help. There were red flags waving with this guy right from the get go... I am sorry though, I know you were hoping he might be it. What red flags? being educated, wealthy and successful is a red flag? What discretion do you want me to use. This man has been a gentleman from A to Z !! Edited April 24, 2015 by Gaeta Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 What red flags? being educated, wealthy and successful is a red flag? What discretion do you want me to use for god sake! This man has been a gentleman from A to Z !! Gaeta, I have no desire to argue with you about this. Go back and read this thread...many of us saw red flags. You didn't...but now look what happened. And what continues to happen...over and over. Different face, different circumstances, but SAME result. Who is the common denominator here? Just sayin... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 I might be cynical, but I wonder if this is not how he usually operates. Blowtorching, taking down profiles after a couple of dates, getting to sex, talking about his issues and suddenly checking himself into rehab or something. Or going away to a far away country. Or something similar. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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