Too intimidated ?

[katiegrl]

This is gonna sound crazy, but I am wondering if this guy is even who he *claims* to be.

 

I know you checked his credentials Gaeta, but how do you know the name he gave you was even HIS real name! When you checked him out on line, were there photos proving it was actually him?

 

It certainly didn't jive with his living situation, which he was hesitant to even let you see!

 

Hence the dinner at YOUR place...instead of his, which was odd considering he asked you over for dinner.

 

Many of us had our suspicions even before this depression story.

 

I dunno, I think he freaked because he started to really like you (which he did not expect) and it was only a matter of time before the truth about who he *really* is was exposed.

 

That's my take and I'm stickin to it!

 

I am sorry though Gaeta.... you so did not deserve this!

 

((hugs))

[Gaeta]

He is already blocked everywhere. I am furious at what he did but mostly I am completely and totally deflated from online dating.

[katiegrl]

He is already blocked everywhere. I am furious at what he did but mostly I am completely and totally deflated from online dating.

 

Yeah you need a break...and maybe even a vacation!

 

San Diego is beautiful this time of year...before the May gray and June gloom hit.

 

Wanna come visit? I'm serious!

[Carm]

Wow! I'm not shocked though, he had too many flags. I think the reason that he didn't have you at his place for the 4th date was because he is full of shyt.

Good riddance to him!

[Gaeta]

This is gonna sound crazy, but I am wondering if this guy is even who he *claims* to be.

 

I know you checked his credentials Gaeta, but how do you know the name he gave you was even HIS real name! When you checked him out on line, were there photos proving it was actually him?

 

It certainly didn't jive with his living situation, which he was hesitant to even let you see!

 

Hence the dinner at YOUR place...instead of his, which was odd considering he asked you over for dinner.

 

Many of us had our suspicions even before this depression story.

 

I dunno, I think he freaked because he started to really like you (which he did not expect) and it was only a matter of time before the truth about who he *really* is was exposed.

 

That's my take and I'm stickin to it!

 

I am sorry though Gaeta.... you so did not deserve this!

 

((hugs))

 

Yes there were pictures of him when I checked him up.

 

When I met him on his profile it said he was looking for a long term relationship but like most men online he thought it's what he wanted and needed but when he met a woman with whom this was tangible he realized he's not ready, that explains he is back on there with not looking for a relationship or commitment.

 

Instead of doing the right thing and tell me about it he opted for lying his way out. He is weak and unstable.

[katiegrl]

Yes there were pictures of him when I checked him up.

 

When I met him on his profile it said he was looking for a long term relationship but like most men online he thought it's what he wanted and needed but when he met a woman with whom this was tangible he realized he's not ready, that explains he is back on there with not looking for a relationship or commitment.

 

Instead of doing the right thing and tell me about it he opted for lying his way out. He is weak and unstable.

 

Well since there were photos, looks like I was off on that one.

 

I agree with you assessment... specifically, the weak and unstable part.

 

Next!

[katiegrl]

Gaeta, how do you know he is blocked everywhere?

 

If you don't wanna talk about it anymore, I understand.

 

But I am curious....

[Gaeta]

I blocked him on pof and on my phone that's what I meant.

[katiegrl]

I blocked him on pof and on my phone that's what I meant.

 

Oh okay...fabulous! I'm glad to hear that..

[PumpkinLumpkin]

but mostly I am completely and totally deflated from online dating.

 

You're not alone.

 

I find it bittersweet and ironic.

 

I wind up in a shallow six-month relationship being aloof and passive, and end up being irritated and alone in the end.

 

You open up from the beginning and lay all your cards on the table, and end up being irritated and alone in the end.

 

Guess it doesn't matter what dating style you chose…we both end up irritated anyway. I'm sorry, Gaeta.

[Gaeta]

Funny how sometimes we get comfort from the least expected place. I just got a phone call from the hot-wild-sex guy who wanted to buy me jewelry. When I saw his name on my phone I thought might as well kill that bird too while I am at it ! He turned out very comforting and offered a walk in a park.

 

He told me I come across as very confident with a strong character and men see it as an even bigger challenge and will go to a lot of trouble like expensive restaurants, phone calls, taking their profiles down, cooking meals etc. They get their thrill in the chase, not necessary the end price (sex). The fact during our last date I was willing to have sex (just indisposed and could not) the chase was over. Now he is back online looking for his next challenge.

 

I tend to believe him. The depressed guy told me often he hated when women were throwing themselves at him. He even showed me text from these women suggesting sex and how he declined. Sounds like they were not enough of a challenge.

[katiegrl]

Depressed guy showed you texts from *other* women wanting to have sex? And his response thereto turning them down?

 

Oh man, not to belabor, but good grief, that right there should have set the alarm off!

 

And yes many men are turned on by the *chase* and once the chase stops, they're off and running.

 

But once the answer? Always remain a challenge, so the guy will stick around?

 

Don't think so!

 

To those men, I say good riddance to them too!

 

I am glad he was able to offer some comfort though.... looks like you made a new friend??

[Gaeta]

Depressed guy showed you texts from *other* women wanting to have sex? And his response thereto turning them down?

 

Oh man, not to belabor, but good grief, that right there should have set the alarm off!

 

And yes many men are turned on by the *chase* and once the chase stops, they're off and running.

 

But once the answer? Always remain a challenge, so the guy will stick around?

 

Don't think so!

 

To those men, I say good riddance to them too!

 

I am glad he was able to offer some comfort though.... looks like you made a new friend??

 

Yes he did show me these texts, he wanted me to know he was serious about concentrating on me.

 

I know not to believe men talk, but now I can't believe their actions either.

 

I don't think remaining a challenge is the answer. Might as well have sex with all of them in the parking lot right after our coffee and see who sticks around after ;-)

 

Jewelry guy sounded sincere. When I asked him how he is doing he answered he felt a little depressed *Holy ***in ****** eh! but I will accept his offer.

[katiegrl]

Yes he did show me these texts, he wanted me to know he was serious about concentrating on me.

 

I know not to believe men talk, but now I can't believe their actions either.

 

I don't think remaining a challenge is the answer. Might as well have sex with all of them in the parking lot right after our coffee and see who sticks around after ;-)

 

Jewelry guy sounded sincere. When I asked him how he is doing he answered he felt a little depressed *Holy ***in ****** eh! but I will accept his offer.

 

Sounds good! Have fun!

[katiegrl]

Yes he did show me these texts, he wanted me to know he was serious about concentrating on me.

 

I know not to believe men talk, but now I can't believe their actions either.

 

I don't think remaining a challenge is the answer. Might as well have sex with all of them in the parking lot right after our coffee and see who sticks around after ;-)

 

Jewelry guy sounded sincere. When I asked him how he is doing he answered he felt a little depressed *Holy ***in ****** eh! but I will accept his offer.

 

Well there are LOTS of other ways he could have let you know that without showing you texts from other women wanting to have sex with him!

 

He sounds really OFF!

 

Course you know you dodged a major bullitt, right?

 

Wow.

[Weezy1973]

So again Gaeta, you prove to be attracted to a man that is not relationship oriented. Again, and again, and again, this happens to be the case.

 

I wonder, will you ever consider that maybe you're the problem? You, after all, are the common denominator in every single one of these cases.

 

I'm guessing that no, you actually will never consider that. A sort of defense mechanism as it were.

[Gaeta]

So again Gaeta, you prove to be attracted to a man that is not relationship oriented. Again, and again, and again, this happens to be the case.

 

I wonder, will you ever consider that maybe you're the problem? You, after all, are the common denominator in every single one of these cases.

 

I'm guessing that no, you actually will never consider that. A sort of defense mechanism as it were.

 

All you do is blaming me, about you come up with constructive suggestions instead of kicking me when I am down.

[Toodaloo]

WOW....He is back on POF with new pictures - and a status saying he is not seeking any type of relationship or commitment.

 

I am speechless :-(

 

I am not but the words I want to allow to come out of my mouth are not terribly polite!

 

Some men are just &%^^"%(&"^$*"&$^&"B&"R"&G&XC"*("&

 

I'll be back when I have read the rest and finished swearing... That man is so very lucky I am in a different country...

[Toodaloo]

Ridiculous to think that a man of his standing and age has to resort to making stuff up about "depression" in order to avoid just dating someone.

Obviously conflict-avoidant.

 

Or a weak minded &^"*%(*&"&%^%VX^&%"£^%"(*(

 

Sorry not stopped swearing yet... perhaps I need another 5 minutes...

[Toodaloo]

I think you should grab hold of wild sex guy... Have some more wild sex then boot him out of bed.

 

I really think you do need a break from all of this though even if only for a couple of weeks because these douch bags (well at least its more polite than what I was saying earlier) are simply not worth any of your time or bother.

 

I think you need to change your attitude to one of well "prove to me that you are worthy of me" rather than being the absolute darling that you are.

 

Take "Mr Sahgtastics" advice and make the swine run for you!

 

Nice that he called though. Perhaps he is not so bad after all eh?

[Weezy1973]

All you do is blaming me, about you come up with constructive suggestions instead of kicking me when I am down.

 

I'm not kicking you while you're down Gaeta. I'm hoping something will lead you to some introspection - you keep doing the same thing and you keep getting the same results. Me telling you that won't accomplish anything. You have to realize it yourself. As long as you continue to blame external factors (ex. Where you live, online dating, men in general, etc.), you will continue to have the same problems.

[kendahke]

WOW....He is back on POF with new pictures - and a status saying he is not seeking any type of relationship or commitment.

 

I am speechless :-(

 

Gaeta, I swear, you and I are living parallel experiences...

 

My last LDR did this. Told me that he had issues at home with his sister (supposedly cancer/mastectomy/heart arrhythmia) and his work and he needed to focus on that. Left him alone for about 3 months. Went onto OKC, did a search in his area and there he was, different profile name, new pictures--some he sent to me, in fact--saying that he thinks he found his new love. We hadn't had a harsh word or disagreement between us.

 

I'm so very sorry to read this. Hugs to you.

[elaine567]

WOW....He is back on POF with new pictures - and a status saying he is not seeking any type of relationship or commitment.

 

I am speechless :-(

 

Could he be married/attached?

[Gaeta]

Could he be married/attached?

 

The good thing about me, I think, is once it's over I don't care to know why. Whether he is married, or just plain weak, it does not change the way he treated someone that had been nothing but nice, patient and understanding.

[Carm]

I think you should grab hold of wild sex guy... Have some more wild sex then boot him out of bed.

 

I really think you do need a break from all of this though even if only for a couple of weeks because these douch bags (well at least its more polite than what I was saying earlier) are simply not worth any of your time or bother.

 

I think you need to change your attitude to one of well "prove to me that you are worthy of me" rather than being the absolute darling that you are.

 

Take "Mr Sahgtastics" advice and make the swine run for you!

 

Nice that he called though. Perhaps he is not so bad after all eh?

 

 

I would not be doing this. If you want a different result then you have to do different. This guy is also a bad choice.

 

 

Maybe taking a break from dating, if you have had the same luck, that is bad luck then maybe your "picker" is broken. Time to be introspective.

 

 

Falling into bed with a stranger will not help you...JMO.