Too intimidated ?

[clia]

He offered we go shop for food together then cook ourselves dinner. He did not mention his place or my place lol. I have a feeling he was thinking of using my pots and pans.

 

Did you say yes?

[Gaeta]

Did you say yes?

 

I said it sounded like a great plan. Nothing else. I am waiting to see where he's gonna take this.

[Toodaloo]

I said it sounded like a great plan. Nothing else. I am waiting to see where he's gonna take this.

 

To Debenhams or Ikea to get some pots and pans...

[katiegrl]

To Debenhams or Ikea to get some pots and pans...

 

LOL!!! That was hilarious Tooda!

 

I needed a good laugh this morn....thanks!

[Carm]

So we had our 3rd date last night. He talked about his wealth and how he moved here to get away from the elite life style and live a simpler life. He talked about how smart he is, his mind is in over-drive all the time so he needs to meditate. He says when I visit his place I will see he lives very simply, only with the basic, he even left his car back in PA......I'm raising one eyebrow now.

 

Glad to hear that you are at least raising an eyebrow. I would be. Re: the bolded bit....he's also quite humble.

 

 

Don't mean to be a downer but he wants a fourth date with you and you only had your first date on the weekend. That's 4 dates and the week isn't up yet. Does that cause you to raise yet another eyebrow?

 

 

Have you heard the story of the fast race car? Yup, it crashed and the speed of him setting up all these dates in ONE week reminds me of the speeding race car.

 

 

Been there, done that and I would be slowing down this man.

[katiegrl]

Glad to hear that you are at least raising an eyebrow. I would be. Re: the bolded bit....he's also quite humble.

 

 

Don't mean to be a downer but he wants a fourth date with you and you only had your first date on the weekend. That's 4 dates and the week isn't up yet. Does that cause you to raise yet another eyebrow?

 

 

Have you heard the story of the fast race car? Yup, it crashed and the speed of him setting up all these dates in ONE week reminds me of the speeding race car.

 

 

Been there, done that and I would be slowing down this man.

 

^^Yeah, I pointed this out as well...in an earlier post. Didn't go over well.

[pteromom]

He put in his times on dates 1-3, and now he wants the home date. So kinda obvious that he is thinking it is boom-chicka-wow time. You definitely don't know him well enough for that yet. So just be careful. And don't let him make your drinks. :/

 

He may be telling the truth, but it is a strange story. If he moved there to escape the "elite lifestyle", he will definitely have artifacts from that elite life... even if he is living simply, he will have kept artwork or a nice watch or brand name clothing, etc. He isn't going to ditch his Armani shirts and shop at Walmart in the name of simplicity. Hahah

[clia]

Don't mean to be a downer but he wants a fourth date with you and you only had your first date on the weekend. That's 4 dates and the week isn't up yet. Does that cause you to raise yet another eyebrow?

 

Oh wow, I just caught this and it does seem really fast. So, brunch on Sunday, lunch on Tuesday, ? on Wednesday, and he wants to cook dinner together on Friday?

 

IMO, you need to put on the brakes. Why do you keep accepting all these last minute dates?

 

Did he take you to dinner last night?

[Gaeta]

Oh wow, I just caught this and it does seem really fast. So, brunch on Sunday, lunch on Tuesday, ? on Wednesday, and he wants to cook dinner together on Friday?

 

IMO, you need to put on the brakes. Why do you keep accepting all these last minute dates?

 

Did he take you to dinner last night?

 

Sunday Brunch

Tuesday lunch

Wednesday dinner

 

Yes we see each other a lot but our dates are quite short. Doesn't make a difference in the big picture?

[gaius]

He may be telling the truth, but it is a strange story. If he moved there to escape the "elite lifestyle", he will definitely have artifacts from that elite life... even if he is living simply, he will have kept artwork or a nice watch or brand name clothing, etc. He isn't going to ditch his Armani shirts and shop at Walmart in the name of simplicity. Hahah

Nah, he's not telling the truth. The story makes no sense on any level. Presidents/Prime Ministers don't even read long boring papers from intellectuals 99% of the time. They're too busy, they have people for that.

 

It can be fun to mess around with guys who are that out there. I asked a dude who was pretending to be a male escort how many guys he had blown all together, and then explained to the girl he was trying to court how it's mostly a male on male business. Just to mess with him. Most of these guys are so lazy they don't even really check into the reality of the role they're pretending to be.

[katiegrl]

Sunday Brunch

Tuesday lunch

Wednesday dinner

 

Yes we see each other a lot but our dates are quite short. Doesn't make a difference in the big picture?

 

Don't mean to get down on you, but you are pushing 50, dated 100+ guys, one would assume you had this all figured out by now.

 

It's just the same ole, same ole. Different face, same story.

 

No it does not make a difference that your dates were short, except to say he wants to invest the least amount of time possible on each date ... but net the same results (sex) as he would had the date lasted longer.

 

Yes four dates in less than one week is too much!

[CarrieT]

Sunday Brunch

Tuesday lunch

Wednesday dinner

 

Yes we see each other a lot but our dates are quite short. Doesn't make a difference in the big picture?

 

You aren't leaving much time in between to let the "absence make the heart grow fonder..."

 

I can understand wanting to see as much as possible of each other if the heart is fluttering, but taking some time to reflect in between would be beneficial in this case, I think.

[Gaeta]

Nah, he's not telling the truth. The story makes no sense on any level. Presidents/Prime Ministers don't even read long boring papers from intellectuals 99% of the time. They're too busy, they have people for that.

 

I never said presidents and Prime ministers. I said leaders. You have all kinds of leaders in the world, leaders in medical fields etc.

[Gaeta]

Don't mean to get down on you, but you are pushing 50, dated 100+ guys, one would assume you had this all figured out by now.

 

It's just the same ole, same ole. Different face, same story.

 

No it does not make a difference that your dates were short, except to say he wants to invest the least amount of time possible on each date ... but net the same results (sex) as he would had the date lasted longer.

 

Yes four dates in less than one week is too much!

 

The dates are short because they are week night dates not because he makes them short. I could stay up late but I don't, like you said I am pushing 50 and I need my rest to be productive the following day.

 

As for the sex we had a conversation about this last night. He does not want to get into that right now. His words.

 

I think he's lonely. He's been here 6 months, he has no real social network other than people at his office. He works from home, works a couple of hours a day no more. His paper is done and due for August, so he's got lots of time on his hands.

[katiegrl]

The dates are short because they are week night dates not because he makes them short. I could stay up late but I don't, like you said I am pushing 50 and I need my rest to be productive the following day.

 

As for the sex we had a conversation about this last night. He does not want to get into that right now. His words.

 

I think he's lonely. He's been here 6 months, he has no real social network other than people at his office. He works from home, works a couple of hours a day no more. His paper is done and due for August, so he's got lots of time on his hands.

 

Sure okay, whatever he "says" right?

 

Have fun tomorrow... let's see if his *actions* back up what he *says*.

 

I'm sorry Gaeta, I am gonna bow out of this thread. I just don't have a good feeling, and don't want my attitude to influence your feelings.

 

Obviously you are okay with all this, and that is all that matters.

 

Have fun!!

[pteromom]

People sure are being discouraging!

 

It's good to pay attention to the red flags and warning signs, but you can't live your life by them either.

 

Sometimes, what looks like a scary red flag has a reasonable explanation.

 

You never know unless you take a little time to get to know someone.

 

Have fun on your date, and I hope it ends up that he is a nice guy with a weird story.

[Gaeta]

Sure okay, whatever he "says" right?

 

Have fun tomorrow... let's see if his *actions* back up what he *says*.

 

I'm sorry Gaeta, I am gonna bow out of this thread. I just don't have a good feeling, and don't want my attitude to influence your feelings.

 

Obviously you are okay with all this, and that is all that matters.

 

Have fun!!

 

I am not sure what you want me to do.

 

He has not done anything wrong so far.

 

I am seeing things that could be interpreted positively or negatively. I am looking to talk them out with people on here to get different prospective. If everything was <okay> I would not be posting and sharing my thoughts.

 

Not everything is black or white.

[jen1447]

I don't want to jump on the negative bandwagon either but please take some precautions Gaeta. I mean specifically tell someone where you'll be if it ends up being his place. Physical address with numbers.

 

I doubt there's anything 'wrong' with him that way but there's enough here I don't like the sound of to make me think safety first.

[Carm]

Sure okay, whatever he "says" right?

 

Have fun tomorrow... let's see if his *actions* back up what he *says*.

 

I'm sorry Gaeta, I am gonna bow out of this thread. I just don't have a good feeling, and don't want my attitude to influence your feelings.

 

Obviously you are okay with all this, and that is all that matters.

 

Have fun!!

 

 

Totally agree with this and also agree I'm going to bow out as well.

 

 

If it is indeed true you've dated so many men, you should understand what Katie and I have both said. I'm not buying this guy, I think he is full of shyt BUT I hope he proves me wrong. Remember, just because this guy says something does not mean that it is the truth!

 

 

Pteromom, it's not about being discouraging, it's about being a realist.

[Gaeta]

Totally agree with this and also agree I'm going to bow out as well.

 

 

If it is indeed true you've dated so many men, you should understand what Katie and I have both said. I'm not buying this guy, I think he is full of shyt BUT I hope he proves me wrong. Remember, just because this guy says something does not mean that it is the truth!

 

 

Pteromom, it's not about being discouraging, it's about being a realist.

 

Where did you guys get that I am buying his every word?? Aren't I not suspicious of his story? Aren't I the one sharing the bits here and there that seem questionable? I am the one who came on here saying hey! I find that weird!

 

But him being weird does not make him a liar just yet.

[oldshirt]

Smart is smart and safe is safe whether you are dating a prince or a pauper.

 

Whether he is a world-traveling playboy or stock boy on the night shift at Walmart, he is still essentially a stranger. Use the common sense things you'd want your daughter and granddaughter to do on one of their first few dates.

 

-don't sign any financial contracts or lend him any money or invest in any of his offshore business ventures. Don't give him access to your credit cards or bank accounts.

 

- let someone know where you are, who you are with and when you are due back.

 

- have some cash on you in case you need to bail.

 

- don't get drunk or stoned with him. Monitor your drinks.

 

- have a firm sense of your boundaries and enforce them.

 

- practice safe sex if you do bang him.

 

- understand that guys will say anything to get poontang including that they are rich and famous.

 

- always believe actions and behaviors, never words.

 

- don't invest anything you aren't willing to lose.

 

If you follow those common sense guidelines that you would hopefully do with any date, you'll be fine whether he is rich and powerful or the night clerk at Quicky Mart.

[Gaeta]

Oldshirt: Of course I follow those common sense.

[oldshirt]

Oldshirt: Of course I follow those common sense.

 

Then this will play out like any other person you are starting to date. As you get to know each other things may develop and grow or they may not.

 

You stand as good a chance of this turning into a good relationship as anyone.....and you also stand as good a chance of this going no where as anyone.

[Gaeta]

You stand as good a chance of this turning into a good relationship as anyone.....and you also stand as good a chance of this going no where as anyone.

 

So just another regular day in the fantastic world of dating for me.

 

Thank you.

[oldshirt]

So just another regular day in the fantastic world of dating for me.

 

Thank you.

 

Yeah that really is the best way to look at it. This is just another date with just another guy.

 

The reason you are feeling intimidated is because you are seeing him as "special" even though you don't know him. You are seeing him as of more value than yourself.

 

You come from different backgrounds and different lifestyles and if you continue seeing him in time that will present some challenges and hurdles that must be delt with, but there will be different challenges and hurdles to be delt with no matter who you see.

 

For now you are just in the getting-to-know-ya stage with another guy. No more. No less.

 

Don't make it more than what it is.