wtf is going on here

[MrNate 2.0]

This is the craziest story. Why is it so difficult to call the police? To consult with a lawyer? To TELL her to get out of YOUR house? How much longer are you going to let this crazy woman squat there and steal your money? I hope you're not still sleeping with her.

 

If she didn't sound so crazy I would tell her she has an hour to pack up and leave or you're calling the police, but in this case I wouldn't give her any warning at all. Take the day off work, walk down the street, call the police and have her escorted away. It's only going to get worse...no sane person stays at someone else's house like this for two months without going home.

 

You act like 'calling the police' is such an easy thing to do.

 

That requires picking up a phone and dialing three numbers. Not exactly the easiest thing to do.

 

That takes much more work than keeping a crazy in my house seeping my cash by the day.

 

Let's get real here, rester.

[ktya]

Maybe I missed it somewhere, but you haven't yet mentioned what her response is to you telling her to leave? You just keep saying that you asked her to leave and she wouldn't. What's her reason for not leaving??

 

Nowhere to go and that I said I would look after her while she goes through the induced miscarriage. At that time I only wanted her to go for 24 hours so I could clear my head. I was VERY insistent as I said I told her I needed her to leave from 9am to 3pm. I got pretty pissed off at a few points and went for a walk in the snow to cool off and think so I didnt do anything stupid.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

Nowhere to go and that I said I would look after her while she goes through the induced miscarriage. At that time I only wanted her to go for 24 hours so I could clear my head. I was VERY insistent as I said I told her I needed her to leave from 9am to 3pm. I got pretty pissed off at a few points and went for a walk in the snow to cool off and think so I didnt do anything stupid.

 

Well, then why don't you ask her why she can't go to one of her two homes? Or to live with her son? She doesn't have any family? Truthfully, it sounds like a bunch of excuses.

[ktya]

You act like 'calling the police' is such an easy thing to do.

 

That requires picking up a phone and dialing three numbers. Not exactly the easiest thing to do.

 

Calling the police to remove a woman going through an induced miscarriage is a risky adventure. If she cries abuse they have to take it seriously even without bruises and I might be forced to leave my own home for the night.

[ktya]

Well, then why don't you ask her why she can't go to one of her two homes? Or to live with her son? She doesn't have any family? Truthfully, it sounds like a bunch of excuses.

 

Heres a sample.

 

me: "Why can't you just go home?"

 

her: "Because its not my place anymore I signed it over to my son and he is out of town. I dont have a key anymore."

 

me: "Why can't you just get the building manager to let you in?"

 

her: "Because I'm not on the lease anymore I dont have any authority to get let in."

 

me: "But the place is filled with your stuff and you lived there for however long and your son is living there why wouldn't he let you in?"

 

her: "Because its not my place anymore"

 

me: "But that makes no sense. You loaned your son your house, your car, your bank card, cant you just get your son to phone the manager and say its ok to let you in?"

 

her: "I can't because he's in the US and his phone is turned off so he doesnt pay the data roaming charges"

 

me: "What about this friend J of yours you kept talking about going to who has an empty 4 bedroom house with queen beds?"

 

her: "He's in the US too."

 

me: "Isnt there ANYWHERE you can go?"

 

her: "No. Not until my son gets back but I dont want to go and stay with him because I dont want to explain to him what I'm going through because he'll freak" (reference the medical abortion)

 

me: "You havent had it yet your getting it tomorrow"

 

her: "My appointment for the shot is tomorrow morning and I cant get there in time from there anyway"

 

me: "Cant you phone them and do it later, I can look after you just show up tomorrow evening, say around 8 and I'll look after you"

 

her: "No they said its best to take it in the morning remember"

 

me: "Hmmm. Well can't you call anybody?"

 

her: "No. I can't go for the night unless your getting me a hotel or something I have nowhere I can go"

 

me: "Ok. Maybe I'll get you a hotel then."

 

her: "Seriously? What is the matter with you. You are going to spend money you can't afford to send me to a hotel what the F is going on?"

 

me: "I just need some time to clear my head. There's a lot going on and I need to deal with some sh*t"

 

her: "Why can your roommates be around while you deal with this but not me? Whats going on?"

 

me: "Dont ask. I just need some time. I'm not getting into it. I just need some time."

 

her: etc etc etc etc

[beach]

Why are you ASKING her?

 

 

Don't ask - use words that make it perfectly clear that she goes now - or the police are called.

 

 

 

And why is your story changing? You said she took the injection already but now you say she gets it tomorrow - which is it?

 

Either way she's isn't your problem. It's hers to deal with - I doubt it was your baby.

 

Look up local homeless shelters - have the cops drop her off there. She will have care and support there.

Edited December 3, 2014 by beach

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

Why are you ASKING her?

 

 

Don't ask - use words that make it perfectly clear that she goes now - or the police are called.

 

Exactly. You sound like you're pleading with her and she's talking to you like you owe her something and she's on the same level as your roommates. When she asked why your roommates could be there, you should've said, "Cause they pay the bills and I don't have to support them."

 

You don't have to keep explaining to her WHY she needs to leave. You tell her she HAS to leave, end of story. Tell her she's not your responsibility because its true.

[ktya]

And why is your story changing? You said she took the injection already but now you say she gets it tomorrow - which is it?

 

The above was Saturday. She did the injection Sunday.

 

And it didnt start with that. It started with:

 

"You need to go home. I need to deal with some sh*t and you need to go home. I need some space for a while."

 

that was just a sample I'm not typing out 7 hours of conversation.

Edited December 3, 2014 by ktya

[ktya]

Tell her she's not your responsibility because its true.

 

Thats hard given the induced miscarriage. I know some have reservations as to whether its mine but if it is isnt that a pretty jackass thing to do?

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

Thats hard given the induced miscarriage. I know some have reservations as to whether its mine but if it is isnt that a pretty jackass thing to do?

 

No, what she's done to you thus far is a real jackass thing to do. Wouldn't it be grand if she had an ounce of respect and concern for your well being?

 

I have to keep reminding myself that we're discussing a woman in her 40s and not some self deserving selfish 20 yr old.

[rester]

Heres a sample.

 

me: "Why can't you just go home?"

 

her: "Because its not my place anymore I signed it over to my son and he is out of town. I dont have a key anymore."

 

me: "Why can't you just get the building manager to let you in?"

 

her: "Because I'm not on the lease anymore I dont have any authority to get let in."

 

me: "But the place is filled with your stuff and you lived there for however long and your son is living there why wouldn't he let you in?"

 

her: "Because its not my place anymore"

 

me: "But that makes no sense. You loaned your son your house, your car, your bank card, cant you just get your son to phone the manager and say its ok to let you in?"

 

her: "I can't because he's in the US and his phone is turned off so he doesnt pay the data roaming charges"

 

me: "What about this friend J of yours you kept talking about going to who has an empty 4 bedroom house with queen beds?"

 

her: "He's in the US too."

 

me: "Isnt there ANYWHERE you can go?"

 

her: "No. Not until my son gets back but I dont want to go and stay with him because I dont want to explain to him what I'm going through because he'll freak" (reference the medical abortion)

 

me: "You havent had it yet your getting it tomorrow"

 

her: "My appointment for the shot is tomorrow morning and I cant get there in time from there anyway"

 

me: "Cant you phone them and do it later, I can look after you just show up tomorrow evening, say around 8 and I'll look after you"

 

her: "No they said its best to take it in the morning remember"

 

me: "Hmmm. Well can't you call anybody?"

 

her: "No. I can't go for the night unless your getting me a hotel or something I have nowhere I can go"

 

me: "Ok. Maybe I'll get you a hotel then."

 

her: "Seriously? What is the matter with you. You are going to spend money you can't afford to send me to a hotel what the F is going on?"

 

me: "I just need some time to clear my head. There's a lot going on and I need to deal with some sh*t"

 

her: "Why can your roommates be around while you deal with this but not me? Whats going on?"

 

me: "Dont ask. I just need some time. I'm not getting into it. I just need some time."

 

her: etc etc etc etc

 

This is crazy, man. She's got you wrapped around her finger and all you're doing is asking her questions and allowing her to come up with crappy excuses. You need to tell her you are done being nice about this and if she doesn't leave, you are going to be forced to call the police. End of discussion. You have no responsibility for this woman after only dating two months. I understand you want to take care of her after the abortion but she clearly has no respect at all for your space. Put your foot down and end this now.

[beach]

The above was Saturday. She did the injection Sunday.

 

And it didnt start with that. It started with:

 

"You need to go home. I need to deal with some sh*t and you need to go home. I need some space for a while."

 

that was just a sample I'm not typing out 7 hours of conversation.

 

Ok so Sat, Sun, Mon, Tues = 4 more days you have allowed her to continue mooching off you - to continue disrespecting your wishes.

 

The problem isn't her - it's you and your lack of taking control of your own space.

 

Call the police man!!!!! The police will know where the homeless shelter is.

 

 

I doubt her son is away - I think it's another lie she's telling you.

Edited December 3, 2014 by beach

[TigerLilly78]

I think you two are feeding off of this drama and on some level starting to enjoy it other wise it wouldn't be on going stable mature adults don't act like this im sorry..so if your not going to get her out or take anyone's advice then why exactly are you here?

[FitChick]

What doctor's office or clinic is open on Sunday for elective procedures or any non-emergency? Did you drive her to a doc, meet him and go into the exam room with her? For all you know she told them she had an infected toenail. Have you seen any blood? Is she going into the bathroom every few hours to change pads (which would be in the trash for you to see)? When is the follow up appointment?

 

And from whence did roommates suddenly appear in this saga? How do they feel about having her live with them?

 

Something is very strange not only about her but about you.

[eye of the storm]

At this point, I would borrow a car, load her in, hit the motel 6 or whatever is the equivalent. pay for a night and run like hell. or do the ice cream trick I mentioned.

 

Or, wait till the roommates are there (witnesses) ask her to leave. If she starts throwing excuses at you, say very clearly, are you going to leave. Don't accept anything other than a yes or a no. Do not yell or touch her. if possible have an ipad or camera or voice recorder going. It won't be admissible in court probably but it could help you out with the police. If she says no or refuses to actually answer the question have one of the roommates just leave the room and call the police.

 

keep the recorder going and you leave the room, go out side go to your roommates section. Anything but near her or where nobody can see you.

 

Don't tell her what you are doing. Do not interact with her anymore. Just wait for the police and then have her escorted out.

 

If she insists on continuing to talk to you and she probably will, rats can smell a sinking ship before the first leak hits...walk away. even if it is down the street, keep waking. Don't talk to her, just keep walking away. The more public you are the better. Go to the train station if she keeps following you and ask a security guard to assist you.

 

Yes it may sound stupid and over kill but you cannot risk a DV.

 

If you believe for one second the wifi queen doesn't have a way of contacting one of her kids you are as stupid as she has been treating you. I go to foreign countries all the time and my mom always seems to find me.

 

Her not having a place to go is NOT your problem. Its hers.

[Toodaloo]

Dear God - this just gets worse the longer it goes on...

 

So much drama for a simple - leave now or I am calling the police. Do this with witnesses. if she doesn't leave then call the police. Simples.

 

The reason why she doesn't want you talking to your friends is because she is a con artist and she is trying to separate you from people who care for you and will back you up and support you. She is trying to isolate you.

 

This needs to stop, right now, today, or its just going to get messier.

 

At the moment you have a con artist in your house, doing what she will with your belongings, finances etc. Time for her to go before you end up with nothing. Oh and while we are at it I am guessing it would be sensible to check your account order new cards, change your pins and security passwords, change the locks, change your phone number etc...

 

So much hassle just for a shag...

[sillyanswer]

Nowhere to go and that I said I would look after her while she goes through the induced miscarriage.

 

Ok. That's good of you. What's the expected timeline on how long you'll be looking after her while she goes through with this? While this is "looking after" is going on, have you made it clear (telling, not asking) that she needs to leave at the end of it?

[Raena]

This is just pure craziness. I can't even believe that this woman has squatted in your house and you keep entertaining her thoughts and feelings. It's just bizarre! Kick her OUT! Yes, you promised to be there for the induced miscarriage but that would take a couple of weeks. It doesn't just happen overnight. This girl is playing you for a fool and you are letting it happen. Your conversation with her makes it pretty clear that she's got you wrapped around her finger. She knows damn well that you aren't going to just kick her out so she just keeps insinuating herself further and further into your life and then quilting you about it. Stop asking her questions. Tell her straightforward that she must be out of the house asap with NO excuses. You trying to be nice about it isn't going to work. How do you spend all day ASKING her to leave instead of TELLING her to leave. Pack her things up, put them out the door and tell her to get gone... NOW.... or you are calling the police.

[CarrieT]

What doctor's office or clinic is open on Sunday for elective procedures or any non-emergency?

This stuck out at me.

 

OP, did you go with her for this injection? I'm thinking she is totally conning you...

 

Seriously, walk outside your home and call the police.

[ktya]

This stuck out at me.

 

OP, did you go with her for this injection? I'm thinking she is totally conning you...

 

Seriously, walk outside your home and call the police.

 

The injection is done at a pharmacy.

[Toodaloo]

You are still alive and haven't become a patio foundation yet then?

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

This stuck out at me.

 

OP, did you go with her for this injection? I'm thinking she is totally conning you...

 

Seriously, walk outside your home and call the police.

 

I thought the same thing. When this thread was going this past weekend, there was still discussion on whether or not she was keeping the baby. Then the decision is made on Sunday and they find an available doctor without an appt. to give the injection. Because this is not something sold over the counter right? And did this doctor verify how far along she was before giving the injection??

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

The injection is done at a pharmacy.

 

Without a prescription from a doctor? You just walk up and say I need to terminate a pregnancy? And they have people on hand authorized to do that? I'm so confused. This story is moving faster than I can keep up with.

[sillyanswer]

her: "I can't because he's in the US and his phone is turned off so he doesnt pay the data roaming charges"

 

me: "What about this friend J of yours you kept talking about going to who has an empty 4 bedroom house with queen beds?"

 

her: "He's in the US too."

 

What country are you in?

[sillyanswer]

What country are you in?

 

To answer my own question, from reading your other threads, it's Canada (assuming the "He's in the US" stuff above means the OP isn't in the US).