wtf is going on here

[ktya]

How about learning to act on red flags so you don't end up with a psycho again? Not all single women are like that... be single for a while so you can regroup and learn that not all women are crazy.

 

Multi dating is a sure fire way to complicate things...

 

At my stage in the game all the non-crazy age-appropriate lifelong partners are long taken. There's always one reason or another their previous 15-20 years worth of relationships never stuck. Good solid women are taken by men who know what a good thing that they have at this stage in the game.

 

Mutli-dating was fun, and because of diversification and a well groomed roster it was easy to just walk away at the first sign of crazy. I got more action than a porn star and when I wanted time to my self it was as simple as not making a phone call.

 

When I broke up with my ex I had made the decision to never get another girlfriend again. It was the right decision, and I'm quite ashamed that I ever bothered to question it. Hopefully I dont ever again.

[beach]

I don't think diversification is the key...

 

I think having a boundary is key and your ability to enforce your boundary.

 

There's no reason to avoid intimacy with women because of one bad one. In fact, if you know your boundary and stick to it this should never be allowed to happen again.

 

You didn't stick with your healthy boundary.

 

 

When anyone in the future treats you this way you're best to remove them from your life. Even the fact that you aren't pressing charges against her for squatting and stealing your money off your bank card shows you have work to do on yourself.

 

Only easy men are targets for women like her. Don't be so easy.

 

If you need help finding your healthy boundary get a professional to work with you.

[Toodaloo]

Good solid women are taken by men who know what a good thing that they have at this stage in the game.

 

Not totally true, there is death, divorce and also those women who are solid as a rock who stuck it out with ****ty partners for no reason other than they are loyal.

 

One crazy lady does not make and entire sex crazy...

 

I know you are hurting but your actually cutting your nose off to spite your face with an attitude like that.

 

Stay single, get your s**t sorted out and start again. Would be my advice.

 

Or by all means go and shag around, picking up cheap meaningless sex, that leaves you feeling cold and unsatisfied after a while, where and when you can get it and probably and STD based on your past behaviour... Just saying.

[serial muse]

I really went through all of the initial discussions with this one and she passed all the initial tests. She had two jobs. Had her own place. Lots of mutual friends, her story checked out with mutual and family friends. Came from my hometown. Not married. No young kids so no baby daddy issues. Unable to get pregnant.

 

Well...sure, she said the right things but you barely even knew her before you let her move in! You didn't even have a phone number or address for her. I would be more sympathetic to you here, because you've been through some hell, but after reading your responses over on the bitterness thread generalizing this bat**** story to women as a rule...well, I have to admit that my sympathy for you has largely evaporated. It's really too bad that that's what you're taking away from this. Not really learning a thing about yourself here. Well, I, too, have read your previous threads, and after that and the bitterness business from you, I think this: :/

 

She's a certifiable nutcase, but women get reamed on here all the time for liking the "bad boy". So, fine. Turnabout is fair play. So I say to you: Choose better. Figure out why you're attracted to drama and why you don't see the warning signs when it starts to go sideways. Verify what somebody tells you about who they are. Listen better. Then maybe you'll actually be ready for a good relationship.

Edited December 4, 2014 by serial muse

[ktya]

Sigh. Yes I'm coming across as a bit bitter.

 

Just I had a lot of fun multi dating and met a lot of great women many of whom I'm still friends with.

 

The girlfriend thing just seems to not be my thing. Always ends up burning me somehow in one way or another.

 

I'll get over it. I'm not looking for pity.

[CarrieT]

Ktya, is she gone yet?

[beach]

I'm wondering, too, if she left yet?

[ktya]

I'm wondering, too, if she left yet?

 

Today's the day. I had to go to work at 7am. She is out of money and the house has no food and I have the much talked about Christmas party tonight so I won't be home until late. All my bank pins are changed and all my electronic devices are password locked. I have a roommate at home.

 

I forewarned her I'm going to be coming home wasted and very late.

 

I got a wacky barrage of BBMs after I got to work accusing me of being up to something or talking to someone when she realized my tablet was password locked but it has always been that way save for a couple days when I let her use it, after she read my emails to and from my far away friend I locked it back down, that was a few weeks ago.

 

I have good reason to take tomorrow off after the party so if she is intending on "borrowing " my bank card while I'm asleep again (I just got paid today) before she leaves she's in for a big surprise and if she's not gone by tomorrow morning I will do whatever it takes including threaten to call the cops.

 

She told me just yesterday and the day before that no matter what I will get my money today. She blew a hole a mile wide in her own story when she was going to give me $10 last night to buy some rum but the condition was that I'd have to absolutely promise to pay it back today. Seeing as she was supposed to get a $25k line of credit today guaranteed it hardly seems likely she'd care about $10.00 after all the crap I've paid for.

 

She was on the phone last night until 4am starting at about 9pm so I think she's lined up the next victim. Good riddance, poor guy. Not my problem.

[beach]

If she's gone - expect the tablet to be gone too.

 

If it was me I would take an hour or so off work to open a new bank account - moving all money into that new acct.

 

Then go home and be sure she's gone and have the locks changed if she left.

 

Check and be sure she didn't leave with valuables... Check to be sure she actually left.

 

 

My bet is she won't be gone at all.

 

Call the police if she hasn't left. No need for idle threats any longer. - start DOING what's in your best interest.

 

 

It's time you take care of yourself and she takes care of herself.

 

No more need to worry for both of you.

[ktya]

Tablet is a blackberry. Enter the wrong password 10 times and it turns into a brick unlock able only with BlackBerry Protect and the right password

 

I doubt she will steal it. I think she will go without much incident, she can tell that the game is up and needs a more willing participant.

 

My bigger worry than outright theft (I dont really have much in the way of portable high value stuff) it would more be a self approved loan so she can show up with money to give the next victim the impression she gave me - that she's a productive woman with her own money and doesn't need any handouts. Thats out the Window now

[beach]

Then make sure no money goes into your account(s) that she is aware of.

 

If needed, wait to deposit money in a few days - preferably a new account she isn't aware of.

 

 

Did you ask your room mate if she left yet?

[beach]

Did she leave?

[serial muse]

Tablet is a blackberry. Enter the wrong password 10 times and it turns into a brick unlock able only with BlackBerry Protect and the right password

 

why didn't you just take it with you to work?

 

Edit: Oh, I just realized I was responding to yesterday's post. So I echo beach: What happened? Did she leave?

[CarrieT]

We are all waiting for the follow-up report!!!

 

:D:D

[ktya]

Well this has proven interesting so far.

 

She texted me before my xmas party that her bank loan went through and that she was going to have her friend pick her up at 11 and take her to the bank, she was going to drop off a bank draft and get a hotel room and move into her new place saturday but that it was a bummer because she had no food and needed blood thickener meds her dr recommended her to take but she had no money. I told her id try to bring her something on the way home afterward but that id be home late. I did bring her a sandwich and a donut.

 

She had no idea that i wouldnt be going to work today.

 

This morning after i slept in and told her i wasnt going to work she wanted to take my bank card to go and get her meds. I was up so i said heck we have no coffee lets go to the pharmacy and get a coffee while were there. This is 1030am and im like but you cant go anyway because your friend is coming to get you at 11, she says hes caught up at work and wont be here until later.

 

This leads to a big tirade about what dont you trust me bla bla and im like no i kind of want a coffee and your going to have to wait to have ghe script filled. Shes like fine whatever ill get the meds later when i get my money. Says she doesnt want to go to the pharmacy with me because i smell like a brewery and its embarassing.

 

Im like well fk this im going to get coffee anyway. You want to phone the pharmacy and i can pick up the meds, shes like no whatever. So i go and get coffee.

 

I come back and she plays out this whole thing and i call her bullsht. Im like listen this makes no sense. You need these meds but you refuse to get them because i am going to come with you? Makes no sense. You go up to the desk order your prescription then we wait a half an hour and then you pick them up and the only interaction i have with them is i pay for it, while we wait we grab a coffee.

 

Then shes like ok whatever im leaving i have to get out of here. I offer to buy her a daypass on the transit and she says no. A bunch of blabber then she gets a call from the bank (supposedly) and talks for a bit and says she has an appointment to get her money and the money she owes me at 330. Im like that makes no sense because toronto head office is closed at 1.

 

Then because the money she owes me is going to my landlord because she has had all this money to give me one more day one more day and i was looking after her she then says she wants to talk to my landlord. Im like no. My deal with my landlord is that i sublet legally but he only deals with me and thats that. Also given my exes last thing he wants to see or interact with is another girl of mine, just give me the money and let me deal with him.

 

She goes on about how she wants to make sure my tenants are going to be ok. Im like they will be ok but your giving me nothing to go on here because a:. You wont tell me the amount and b: you dont have the money and c: theyre going to be ok regardless. Im like you arent talking to my landlord thats my business so forget it.

 

So she tells me that she is going to the bank for 330 and then shes getting a room and shes out of my hair.

 

That is as of 10 minutes ago. Will keep yall posted in realtime.

 

---

 

My guess is that meds or no the intention was to take money out of my bank account or buy **** for herself. I mean come on if you need meds you need them who cares if im there paying for them. She does not know that my PIN is changed.

 

Plus i wasnt even half as loaded when i got home as i thought id be because there was no afterparty for reasons i wont get into. I had a couple drinks between 1130 when i got home and 330 when i went to sleep and i wasnt even hung over this morning, so this whole "smell like a brewery" was bull****. Plus, who the fk cares what the pharmacist thinks about the guy who is paying the bill.

 

Finally, if she needed these meds so bad wtf did she think she was going to do if i went to work today? I called her out on that and she went off about how i didnt even offer to pick them up for her and i was like wtf you know i was at my xmas party after work and id be home late and i cant just walk into any pharmacy and say hey give me this chicks prescription heres her name shed have to phone it in and tell me which pharmacy and some number or something, and she mentioned nothing.

 

Compounding the bull**** is that she says she needs he blood thickeners because the abortion drug contained warfarin and her blood is now too thin. But she got that medication on last sunday and warfarin doesnt last a week.

 

Thats where im at so far. Will updae

[beach]

That chick is a big fat con artist!

 

And you my dear just keep signing up for all the lies by not kicking her to the curb.

 

IF/when she goes out of the house put her stuff on the curb and change the locks.

 

She deserves NOTHING further from you!

 

You will NEVER see one dime from her - know that for sure!

 

Just focus on getting her out now! Nothing more - nothing less!

[Radu]

You are nowhere.

You said on this page that you threatened to consider calling the cops.

Excuse me ?

 

That threat is worth nothing.

You do not threaten with that in these situations, you do exactly that.

Actions speak louder than words.

 

I'm still confused.

You said you work in investment banking, then you are a network engineer.

You first own the property, then you are the landlord.

[ktya]

Radu im tired of defending myself from allegations of impropriety. If you dont beleive me then move along.

 

--

 

I have received my key back. She is to go to the bank for 330, which is 2 hours away. I may never see a dime and im ready for that but i have to tread lightly because i need it pretty bad.

 

She has to leave prox 3 for the appointment at the bank, which is 1.5 hours away. I can deal until then. If the appointment gets magically "postponed" then i will escalate matters at that time. The cops are 24 hours open so heres no big rush, plus one of my renters might go to work which would mean less drama and collateral damage if things get crazy. Normally hed definitely be going to work today but he has a sore throat so im not sure if hes going to call in sick but that is tertiary information.

Edited December 5, 2014 by ktya
Typo

[beach]

Count on her not leaving.

 

She's got every excuse in the book.

 

You got your key back because she made a copy - I guarantee you that! Buy a new knob and install it as soon as she's gone. Should cost you less than $10.

 

IF she intends to give you money have her put it in your mailbox or mail it to you so you don't see her ever again!

 

 

How much money is she saying she will pay?

[ktya]

Escalation highly in progress.

 

She is in possession of a day transit pass and despite many reasons she can't leave including saying she might end up sleeping on the street knows she's leaving.

 

Not fun but highly in progress. No cops yet but that arrow is in the quiver.

 

More details later . I'm being very firm

 

No other alternative for her. She's tried crying, guilt, obligation, fear. I'm Teflon at this point.

 

Stay tuned.

[beach]

Escalation highly in progress.

 

She is in possession of a day transit pass and despite many reasons she can't leave including saying she might end up sleeping on the street knows she's leaving.

 

Not fun but highly in progress. No cops yet but that arrow is in the quiver.

 

More details later . I'm being very firm

 

No other alternative for her. She's tried crying, guilt, obligation, fear. I'm Teflon at this point.

 

Stay tuned.

 

 

For Gods sake buddy call the cops! She's never leaving there until she's forced out.

 

Do not raise your voice at her or even touch her - the cops will ask if you have...

[BetrayedH]

Bet she never left.

 

ETA: didn't see the update before I posted (darn). Guess I win the bet (that I had with no one).

[ktya]

Im proud to report tyat 7 hours, a day pass transit ticket and a cheap hotel room later she has finally gone. I have endured crying, wailing, a huge mess, and im finally free.

 

Now i get to mop up the collateral damage.

 

Shes gone.

 

This was pretty hard. Im a nice person who cares about people. Turfing someone like this really sucked. :-(

[beach]

That's good - what really sucks is that you feel bad for her. She's a user and a liar. Those types just look for "too nice" kind of people such as you to take you for a ride.

 

 

Now have you changed your locks? Because if you don't she will be back tomorrow...

 

And keep an eye on your bank accounts and credit cards statements - she may have direct access.

 

Have you changed your bank account yet?

 

Stop thinking so much of her and start protecting YOUR best interest by being smart about how skilled she is. I doubt she's done using you.

 

And the reason I doubt that is because you are too nice.

 

I hope you get professional help to work on your personal boundaries.

Edited December 6, 2014 by beach

[Toodaloo]

That's good - what really sucks is that you feel bad for her. She's a user and a liar. Those types just look for "too nice" kind of people such as you to take you for a ride.

 

 

Now have you changed your locks? Because if you don't she will be back tomorrow...

 

And keep an eye on your bank accounts and credit cards statements - she may have direct access.

 

Have you changed your bank account yet?

 

Stop thinking so much of her and start protecting YOUR best interest by being smart about how skilled she is. I doubt she's done using you.

 

And the reason I doubt that is because you are too nice.

 

I hope you get professional help to work on your personal boundaries.

 

And then some...

 

Well done for staying firm.