MidwestUSA Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Honestly, I don't believe that there are that many childless never-married women my age. Also, a woman in her early 30's is past her prime childbirthing years. Let me put it this way. If I meet a woman my age now, and start dating her right away, and we are together for 4 years before we have kids, that would put us at 37 years old. Honestly that seems really old for a woman to have her first child and I can't imagine the possible complications. Can you picture yourself working, establishing yourself as an adult, and maturing enough by 37 to have kids? You're on a delayed schedule anyway. Maybe kids aren't in the picture for you. My mom was 38 when she had me, long before it was 'okay' to wait. Medicine has come a long way, and women are safely having babies into their forties. Early thirties is hardly past 'prime'. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I guess many childless, never married women in their early thirties are as disillusioned as you are with dating, Somedude. Sitting at home, thinking "Where ARE all the nice, single men?" All those college babes are probably not going to have kids until they are in their thirties anyway, educated women wait. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I guess many childless, never married women in their early thirties are as disillusioned as you are with dating, Somedude. Sitting at home, thinking "Where ARE all the nice, single men?" All those college babes are probably not going to have kids until they are in their thirties anyway, educated women wait. Yes and whenever they do decide to settle down they are pretty likely to do it with a guy who's established in his working life right? So sd anyway just try to be open minded, see what happens when you start working and taking care of yourself, you never know. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Anyway.. I thought you didn't want kids SD. You always said in the past you didn't want them and you wanted a GF who wasn't interested in having kids either. When did you have this change of heart? .... or is this just an excuse you've invented to justify sticking with girls in their early 20's? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 Anyway.. I thought you didn't want kids SD. You always said in the past you didn't want them and you wanted a GF who wasn't interested in having kids either. When did you have this change of heart? .... or is this just an excuse you've invented to justify sticking with girls in their early 20's? If a woman doesn't want kids that's fine. What I don't want is a woman who feels that she has to have kids right away. A woman in her early 30's who wants kids but doesn't have any will most likely put a lot of pressure on me to have kids with her ASAP. That's what I want to avoid. Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 If a woman doesn't want kids that's fine. What I don't want is a woman who feels that she has to have kids right away. A woman in her early 30's who wants kids but doesn't have any will most likely put a lot of pressure on me to have kids with her ASAP. That's what I want to avoid. Fair enough. You have a lot to sort out in your life before kids are even an option for you anyway. So why is it either 19-24 OR woman in their early 30's? You seem to keep referring to "woman in their 30's" as the alternative to college girls 19-24 What's wrong with all the 25-30 year olds that still aren't in a hurry for children either? Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 The topic of this thread is wishing women would just tell the truth when they aren't interested. What I've been reading over the past several pages tells me that women often DO tell the truth when they are not interested. BUT, then they accidentally smile, reply to a text, or enter the same room as a guy, and he sees it as some "sign" that suddenly she is interested now. That isn't the woman's problem. That is a denial problem. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 Fair enough. You have a lot to sort out in your life before kids are even an option for you anyway. So why is it either 19-24 OR woman in their early 30's? You seem to keep referring to "woman in their 30's" as the alternative to college girls 19-24 What's wrong with all the 25-30 year olds that still aren't in a hurry for children either? Nothing at all other than people telling me that I should go for women my age. Either way, this thread really isn't about all of that and I have no idea how the subjected shifted to my age. Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 The topic of this thread is wishing women would just tell the truth when they aren't interested. What I've been reading over the past several pages tells me that women often DO tell the truth when they are not interested. BUT, then they accidentally smile, reply to a text, or enter the same room as a guy, and he sees it as some "sign" that suddenly she is interested now. That isn't the woman's problem. That is a denial problem. Replying to texts/messages and inviting him to do stuff with you and other people makes things really confusing for the guy. The reason I brought back this thread was because that girl responded to a message I sent almost a week ago. She had absolutley no reason to respond to me and I have no idea why she did. Surely she must know that responding to me is just encouraging me to keep messaging her. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 The topic of this thread is wishing women would just tell the truth when they aren't interested. What I've been reading over the past several pages tells me that women often DO tell the truth when they are not interested. BUT, then they accidentally smile, reply to a text, or enter the same room as a guy, and he sees it as some "sign" that suddenly she is interested now. That isn't the woman's problem. That is a denial problem. Seems there is a lot of miscommunication going on, people who are obviously not interested get attention lavished on them by some posters on LS, and those that ARE showing interest; some posters are writing off as dead ducks... I think it has a lot to do with the personality of the poster, some guys fail to see bad signs because they are adamant they are always right and some guys fail to see good signs because they are adamant that no-one would ever be interested in them, so they self sabotage. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Replying to texts/messages and inviting him to do stuff with you and other people makes things really confusing for the guy. The reason I brought back this thread was because that girl responded to a message I sent almost a week ago. She had absolutley no reason to respond to me and I have no idea why she did. Surely she must know that responding to me is just encouraging me to keep messaging her. Does it not all have to do with context? If you sent her a text, then it is not rude not to reply? Had she replied in under a minute, then that means somehting different than taking a week to reply. She wondered if you wanted to do something "with other people", is that not some sort of a clue? Taking every signal a woman sends you as "she is interested on me", is nonsense. There is a world out there of people just being social, not everything boils down to dating and sex. She may not be interested in you but her friend /relative/acquaintance might be, you need to be networking, not only for dates but for jobs too. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Taking every signal a woman sends you as "she is interested on me", is nonsense. There is a world out there of people just being social, not everything boils down to dating and sex. She may not be interested in you but her friend /relative/acquaintance might be, you need to be networking, not only for dates but for jobs too. Yeh I think this might be a pretty big problem for OP! You have a pretty narrow and skewed view of social interactions between guys and girls and pretty much everybody! The thing is that a whole lot of communication is going on all the time and if somebody has a big crush or whatever, it's just not super important to anybody else. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 SomeDude, How about YOU be direct and clear? Say: “I would really like to date you. I’m not interested in hanging out or being friends. Are you interested in dating me?” 5 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 The reason I brought back this thread was because that girl responded to a message I sent almost a week ago. She had absolutley no reason to respond to me and I have no idea why she did. Surely she must know that responding to me is just encouraging me to keep messaging her. From her perspective, returning your text after a week makes her feel less rude, relieves her guilt for not responding. And surely he must know that not responding for a week means she's not interested in dating. How is this not clear? Only because you want to hold onto hope, and interpret every crumb of kindness and friendship as dating interest. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 SomeDude, How about YOU be direct and clear? Say: “I would really like to date you. I’m not interested in hanging out or being friends. Are you interested in dating me?” ^^^ This would clear it all up. Link to post Share on other sites
ponchsox Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 OP has a hard time picking up on cues and connections. You should be able to tell without words if someone is into you and wants to date. Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Women do tell the truth. Any behavior besides texting you, calling you, dropping what they're doing to meet you is them telling you they're not interested. If those things aren't happening, walk. Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Women do tell the truth. Any behavior besides texting you, calling you, dropping what they're doing to meet you is them telling you they're not interested. If those things aren't happening, walk. Well, that might be a little extreme! But maybe for SD since he needs extra clarity it's okay advice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Yes, I'm getting old to. And I really think that having two older parents can lead to a lot of trouble down the line. Even if I wasn't looking at kids, I really don't believe there are that many women out there who are my age and have never been married and don't have kids. That is literally ALL of my female friends. Some are in relationships, but a lot are single. Early 30s. Never married. No kids. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Honestly, I don't believe that there are that many childless never-married women my age. Also, a woman in her early 30's is past her prime childbirthing years. Let me put it this way. If I meet a woman my age now, and start dating her right away, and we are together for 4 years before we have kids, that would put us at 37 years old. Honestly that seems really old for a woman to have her first child and I can't imagine the possible complications. Wrong dude. My ex gf, who I met when she was 30, is now 34. Never married, no kids. It is a VERY common thing in larger cities. This should not surprise you given where you live. But you've only hung around college kids. And early 30's is hardly past prime childbirthing years. Where are you getting your info? My ex wife had our son at 42. And he's totally fine. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted January 12, 2015 Author Share Posted January 12, 2015 SomeDude, How about YOU be direct and clear? Say: “I would really like to date you. I’m not interested in hanging out or being friends. Are you interested in dating me?” I honestly can't imagine a woman ever saying yes to that. Women do tell the truth. Any behavior besides texting you, calling you, dropping what they're doing to meet you is them telling you they're not interested. If those things aren't happening, walk. That's also something that would never happen with me. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Wrong dude. My ex gf, who I met when she was 30, is now 34. Never married, no kids. It is a VERY common thing in larger cities. This should not surprise you given where you live. But you've only hung around college kids. Yeah, I think the very limited frame of reference here is the issue. SD, perhaps now that you're entering the post-college world, you'll finally see just how off-base you are about this. One hopes. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I honestly can't imagine a woman ever saying yes to that.. Most likely she wouldn't. But it isn't because of the way you asked. It is because she never wanted to date you. If she did, she would have accepted one of those earlier date offers enthusiastically, and you wouldn't be in the position of wondering and/or asking the question BlueIris phrased. Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Wrong dude. My ex gf, who I met when she was 30, is now 34. Never married, no kids. It is a VERY common thing in larger cities. This should not surprise you given where you live. But you've only hung around college kids. And early 30's is hardly past prime childbirthing years. Where are you getting your info? My ex wife had our son at 42. And he's totally fine. And to further add to this, in the year I was single from my ex gf to my now gf, I can't begin to tell you the number of dates I had. And all were women in their early to mid-30's, never married, no kids. My current gf is mid thirties with a kid, but that has been the exception based on my experience. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Yeah, I think the very limited frame of reference here is the issue.. And a refusal to see things any differently. Already posted - Women graduates wait until they hit 35 before having their first child | Daily Mail Online - the better educatad the women the more likely she is to delay having a child till her thirties. The college babes SD covets now at 20- 24, will be waiting 10 years to even think of starting to have children, so where does that leave him? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts