ntovrhm Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 - women can have kids, men cannot - women are in general more emotional, men less so - women like to shop, men like to watch sports - women nurture and want everyone included, men do stuff by themselves - women can be emotionally violent, men can be physically violent - women feel less pain, men feel more pain (physical pain I mean) - women tend to be more selfless, men more selfish - women love little kids, men love their toys None of these traits are opposites of each other, they are just differences. Suggesting that we are opposites is much too simplistic and doesn't hold water. While you can make broad generalizations that have some basis in truth (although we can all disagree as to why those generalizations exist), they do not apply to every man/woman respectively. I prefer to treat the people in my life as individuals and not broad generalizations. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 Great thread Alpha!! 2) the reason why you 're attracted more to bad boys is cause women are emotionally and feelings based. Bad boys make women feel feel feel and bring out strong emotions, something that "nice guys" cannot do. True. Lust/passion and that 'forbidden a**h*** fruit" seems to attract some. LOL! Make sense? - women can have kids, men cannot - women are in general more emotional, men less so - women like to shop, men like to watch sports - women nurture and want everyone included, men do stuff by themselves - women can be emotionally violent, men can be physically violent - women feel less pain, men feel more pain (physical pain I mean) - women tend to be more selfless, men more selfish - women love little kids, men love their toys **Men can, they can adopt. **Maybe, but some men are just as sensitive as women. Men just hide it better. **Not ALL women love to shop (I hate F**k'n shopping with the passion!), I watch sports. I know alot of men who don't watch sports too. AND they are straight. lol!! **True, we are nurturers (SP?) by heart. But men are too, they just nest in a diff. way. **And ViseVersa. **The pain thing is BS. Women suffer just as much physical pain. Men suffer from emotional pain as well, just turns into physical pain as you guys hold it in all the time. **Yes we love little kids. Some men love their toys more, most men I know do love their kids more than there toys. Anyway, I do think that as we get older we prefer 'Nicer' guys. Seems we all have to learn the hard way and be with these not nice guys, get hurt then realize that nicer guys are the ones to be with. Just my 02!! Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 Originally posted by whichwayisup **Men can, they can adopt. **Maybe, but some men are just as sensitive as women. Men just hide it better. **Not ALL women love to shop (I hate F**k'n shopping with the passion!), I watch sports. I know alot of men who don't watch sports too. AND they are straight. lol!! **True, we are nurturers (SP?) by heart. But men are too, they just nest in a diff. way. **And ViseVersa. **The pain thing is BS. Women suffer just as much physical pain. Men suffer from emotional pain as well, just turns into physical pain as you guys hold it in all the time. **Yes we love little kids. Some men love their toys more, most men I know do love their kids more than there toys. Anyway, I do think that as we get older we prefer 'Nicer' guys. Seems we all have to learn the hard way and be with these not nice guys, get hurt then realize that nicer guys are the ones to be with. Just my 02!! Well, men can't carry a child. It's an essential difference - and one that illustrates the fact that women can endure more physical pain. We can also function with less sleep, and survive massive blood loss better than men. It's biological. Can't deny it. Men bond with their offspring after birth. Women bond with their offspring in-utero. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 Well, men can't carry a child. It's an essential difference - and one that illustrates the fact that women can endure more physical pain. We can also function with less sleep, and survive massive blood loss better than men. It's biological. Can't deny it. Men bond with their offspring after birth. Women bond with their offspring in-utero. True! Nicely put too Blind-Otter. (was gonna put down BO, but that just reads so wrong lol!! ) Link to post Share on other sites
ntovrhm Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 Yes, alpha, this is an interesting thread! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 And...maybe somebody else has touched base on this, I don't know...But I guess women going out with 'badboys' is the same reason why men go out with 'skanks' and just after one thing??? I mean, what qualities do guys look for in a bad woman? Or a nice woman? Just opening up a can of worms for the opposite sex here. I knew plenty of guys who would NOT go out with a nice girl only go for the bad ones. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alphamale Posted December 16, 2004 Author Share Posted December 16, 2004 Originally posted by ntovrhm None of these traits are opposites of each other, they are just differences. Suggesting that we are opposites is much too simplistic and doesn't hold water. While you can make broad generalizations that have some basis in truth (although we can all disagree as to why those generalizations exist), they do not apply to every man/woman respectively. I prefer to treat the people in my life as individuals and not broad generalizations. Well NTOVRHM: Maybe the word OPPOSITE is too harsh. Men and women are biologically, mentally and emotionally different in a substantial way. We compliment each other. What one sex lacks the other makes up for. This is why feminine women are attracted to masculine men (i.e. bad boys). "Nice guys" lack masculinity or don't have enuf masculinity. If I am a man I want to date a woman who is feminine, not one who is masculine. And vice versa. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 Men and women are biologically, mentally and emotionally different in a substantial way. We compliment each other. What one sex lacks the other makes up for. Great line! I do agree. My H and I are not complete opposites, but we both even the scale I guess. We do compliment eachother and fit. Link to post Share on other sites
ntovrhm Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 I will agree that there are differences. I guess defining them where I have trouble. Because if it were that simple, then there should just be one formula that you could follow that would work for everyone to find a mate of the opposite sex. And it wouldn't really matter who you were with, because all men and all women are the same, right? Maybe I take your examples too literally (or maybe not ). Hope more people put in their two cents on the topic. I'm finding the subject matter and opinions expressed quite interesting! Link to post Share on other sites
bebop Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 Originally posted by iceisles This could very well be why my ex left me for a bad guy. I know she has always been attracted to that type, and I wonder why she kept me around as long as she did. If that was the reason, it kinda makes me feel like an old toy that has been replaced with the latest, greatest gizmo. Oh, definitely. The thing is, YOU are the latest greatest gizmo, and will be exactly that for a lady who will appreciate you. Your ex went to a bad guy? They're doomed, and you'll be moved on to real happiness with the right sort of woman for you. Link to post Share on other sites
bebop Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 Good Guy: Clingy, desperate, overly friendly and in your face, wimpy, probably a bit feminine, goodie 2 shoes, boring, acts kind of like a girl - hence all his friends that are girls, did I say desperate already? Not at all. My ex and my son are Nice Guys. My male friends are. None of them fits this. No. Link to post Share on other sites
bebop Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 Do women get tired of men being Chivalrous when they are in their 40's and up? No they do not. I'm 47 and I love it, but I always have. Some women who may not have appreciated it when they were younger do come around to it later on. It's a wonderful thing. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 Originally posted by bebop No they do not. I'm 47 and I love it, but I always have. Some women who may not have appreciated it when they were younger do come around to it later on. It's a wonderful thing. I agree. I think you can be a nice guy and also be masculine. I don't think being considerate of her needs is being a wuss or effeminate. Someone earlier mentioned dating "skanks." Bad girls, so to speak. Not even in my radar. I wouldn't consider one when I was 18 and still won't now, 17 years later. I want a classy woman! I don't even make looks a priority. It's all about personality and what kind of person they are. You could be the hottest, richest babe on the planet but if your attitude sucks (Anna Kournikova for example!) I will have nothing to do with you. Men who desire trophy wives deserve the headaches that come with them. Link to post Share on other sites
tokyo Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 How come that all the guys who once used to be "nice guys" but then turned into "bad guys" still seem to dwell on the fact that women prefer the bad ones? Guys, wake up and get some real self-confidence, then you wouldn´t worry so much about being nice or bad. For me this is just proof that you still have unresolved issues. You´re treating women as if they were your enemies and that´s just not the case. Some of you don´t seem to understand that women don´t like clingy guys, but that doesn´t mean they don´t like nice guys. Most people don´t like someone who clings to them. Get this straight. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 Originally posted by kooky How come that all the guys who once used to be "nice guys" but then turned into "bad guys" still seem to dwell on the fact that women prefer the bad ones? Guys, wake up and get some real self-confidence, then you wouldn´t worry so much about being nice or bad. For me this is just proof that you still have unresolved issues. You´re treating women as if they were your enemies and that´s just not the case. Some of you don´t seem to understand that women don´t like clingy guys, but that doesn´t mean they don´t like nice guys. Most people don´t like someone who clings to them. Get this straight. Can you point me to all the nice girls, please? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 Alpha, you're so full of cr@p your eyes must be brown. If there is one thing I'm sick to death of, it's men who speak for women. Stop it because you're speaking out of your anal orifice. First off, your 'nice' is not what a 'nice' guy is. What you call a 'nice' guy is a doormat. Nobody wants a doormat. Men don't want women who have no ideas of their own any more than women do. That does NOT mean 'women' want 'bad guys'. That means that some women who are too into pop culture versions of romance may buy the myth that 'bad guys' are interesting. They generally find out that 'bad guys' are simply bad. Those who continue to enjoy lives of drama are drama queens. And hey, Alpha, if that's your image of womanhood, you're welcome to one of them. However, I've yet to meet an interesting woman who wants a bad boy. Bad boys are just that - boys; immaturity, which is the hallmark of a 'bad' boy, is BORING. Nice guys just don't turn women on. Kindly cease speaking for women. That is simply a lie - sadly some of the guys on this site seem to think that you're some sort of guru. The fact, fellows, is that if a gal doesn't follow up in a relationship with you, SHE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. You personally. Not that you're not 'bad'. Just that whatever it is you are, it ain't what she wants. So what. Find someone who does want what you are. Have you heard the country song, "Ladies love outlaws"? Right. Country music. Truly the source of all great wisdom. Most women are attracted to a little bit of danger. No. Some women are drama queens and think that 'a little bit of danger' is fun. Plus, in order to have the "in love" feeling, a woman has to have her love returned somewhat, but not altogether, and yet she has to have hope of having it returned altogether in the future. Also bull. It's much better to know than to constantly guess. Women need the excitement that makes her wonder, "Will he call or won't he?" Don't become too predictable. Nope. Someone 'unpredictable' is a pain in the butt. Call already. It's annoying to not know. I have better things to do with my life than wonder about you. Give me someone I can count on. Yes, nice guys often finish last. Maybe it's because there's no challenge. Maybe it's because too nice is too boring. No they don't. It's just that a lot of guys believe this stupid stupid myth. The kiss of death for a relationship (in the courting stage) is when they are always there for her and she knows you love her more than life. That's a lot more pressure than a woman wants in the beginning of a relationship. She wants a little equality, in terms of you both deciding at a similar speed if you want to be in a romantic relationship -- not you've decided and now she has to get on board. The same can be said for men. People are supposed to follow the same path at the same time otherwise somebody gets uncomfortable. Women LOVE to feel ALL emotions, both good and bad Again. Cease generalizing. Some women do. Others are quite fine with not having a panoply of negative emotions to deal with. Plus, "nice guys" will put up with anything and then they look feminine and like a wimp. Who wants that Again, this is not a 'nice guy'. This is a 'doormat'. Kindly cease confusing the two. Good Guy: Clingy, desperate, overly friendly and in your face, wimpy, probably a bit feminine, goodie 2 shoes, boring, acts kind of like a girl - hence all his friends that are girls, did I say desperate already? Again, wrong. It's useless to resort to ridiculous extremes - there are very few humans like that. Guys, wake up and get some real self-confidence, then you wouldn´t worry so much about being nice or bad. Brilliant, Kooky. You hit the nail on the head exactly. Any guy who moans and whines that 'nice guys come last' is a loser bigtime. Any guy who'd believe all this garbage and try to act on it by acting 'bad' is a guy who needs to spend a lot less time listening to fools. It's the guy who has worked at being a good person and isn't interested in women who won't respect that that women really want. Somebody pining after the sort of drama queen that drools after 'bad guys' is a dud. Link to post Share on other sites
iceisles Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 Originally posted by moimeme Brilliant, Kooky. You hit the nail on the head exactly. Any guy who moans and whines that 'nice guys come last' is a loser bigtime. Any guy who'd believe all this garbage and try to act on it by acting 'bad' is a guy who needs to spend a lot less time listening to fools. It's the guy who has worked at being a good person and isn't interested in women who won't respect that that women really want. Somebody pining after the sort of drama queen that drools after 'bad guys' is a dud. Man, that was harsh. What flew up your as*? And by the way, country music is all about the trials and tribulations of love, something you are quited biased towards. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 Man, that was harsh. What flew up your as*? I HATE men speaking for women. You wanna talk about how men feel, go ahead, but do NOT speak for us. We can do that fine by ourselves, thanks. And by the way, country music is all about the trials and tribulations of love, ALL music is about that. Doesn't mean lyrics are great philosophy. something you are quited biased towards. Oh really? Yet another man speaking for a woman, eh. Link to post Share on other sites
iceisles Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 Originally posted by moimeme Oh really? Yet another man speaking for a woman, eh. It happens a lot on these boards. It helps some of us vent. Get used to it. Link to post Share on other sites
babybear Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 I agree with moimeme 100%!!!!! What woman doesnt want a reliable, NICE, smart, dependable, honest, trusworthy, guy? Who wants a cheating, lying, irresponsible, untrustworthy bad-boy? What we want is someone to treat us well, to stick up for us, and someone we can love, trust, and depend on. Honestly, its just sad that some guys go from one woman with low self esteem to the next, and get this crazy idea in their head that we all want someone who says they'll call, and won't. I'm sorry, but the real man is the one that says he'll call and then follows thru. I personally dont have time to play some bad boys game. We want someone with a spine, and you are most definitely confusing 'nice - guy' with 'doormat'. Bb Link to post Share on other sites
JackieQ Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 First off, your 'nice' is not what a 'nice' guy is. What you call a 'nice' guy is a doormat. Nobody wants a doormat. Men don't want women who have no ideas of their own any more than women do. well said moimeme... was thinking the same thing. alpha's definition of "nice" is "wimp" and "spineless"....personally...I have the same reaction to those guys as I do the "bad boys"...avoid em. BUT, the "nice" guy who is considerate. who thinks about my feelings and treats me with respect (as I would also treat him). who holds his own in an arguement because he is his own person. that's a rare and wonderful find... you know alpha...control and power aren't the basis of successful relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 Unfortunately, the lads who whine about the 'nice guys finishing last' think that 'having a spine' is the same thing as 'being a jerk'. Not even close, boys. Not even close. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 I'm with you, Moi. It's a school-boy stereotype that you can either be a nice guy or a prick. No other choice. I don't think the choice is really about being a nice pushover or a jerk who could walk away at any moment. The option that I think makes the most sense is to just know what you want and don't settle for less. Have enough self-respect to treat your woman (and everyone else) with respect. That means that you aren't abusive or neglectful. You love her all the way and don't hold back. And you don't constantly hold the threat of abandonment over her head if she doesn't toe the line. The kind of woman you get when you pretend to be a "bad guy" is exactly the kind of woman you deserve for selling out to a shallow myth that appeals to emotional chickens. You have to have guts enough to really love someone and risk rejection. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 Oh for crying out loud. NICE GUYS get the nice girls. SPINELESS DOORMATS get walked on and then write whiney posts to Loveshack about it. A lot of SPINELESS DOORMATS think that they are NICE GUYS. Unnh unh. If you don't treat YOURSELF nice, then sorry, you do not qualify as a "NICE GUY". Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 Originally posted by moimeme Any guy who moans and whines that 'nice guys come last' is a loser bigtime. I was right with you till you got here. This is just as bad a generalization as AlphaMales.... Not all men who say or think that is a bigtime loser. Link to post Share on other sites
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