Zack_Palmer Posted January 28, 2014 Share Posted January 28, 2014 @Kaylan She gets the point by now man IMO you no longer have to worry about this one:laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
MrMeh Posted January 28, 2014 Share Posted January 28, 2014 That's the nicest way for me. Stop replying to them instead of leading them on. Mean at first but nice in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted January 28, 2014 Share Posted January 28, 2014 So Ive been using tinder to talk to girls in my area. Started chatting up one girl, and shes pretty chill. Tinder said we had mutual friends so I looked up her facebook profile to see more pics, and shes not my type physically. The pics she used in tinder gave the idea that she might be a bit big, but I couldnt tell how big until I saw her fb. I dont mind thick girls, but I have a tipping point. I dont know how to let her down. I dont wanna do a fade out, as thats rude and I hate when its done to me. And I wouldnt mind us being friends...but given what Tinder is for, I dunno if that would even be doable. thoughts? Talk to her like you would with a female friend. If she asks you to hang out say - Hey that is fine but I just wanna be clear that I am only looking for friends nothing more. If u still wanna meet let me know. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted January 28, 2014 Share Posted January 28, 2014 ^Ill do that Link to post Share on other sites
sugarpea Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Hello Just wanted to know if anyone out there has used Tinder and actually found it useful. Friend suggested that I try it, so I am doing so, really just to see what it's like, not that I want to date soon or anything, and well... I'm having my doubts about it just seems another app with all this vamped up hype about nothing. I would say I am quite a shallow person, a guy has to look attractive in the face for me to even think of having a romantic relationship with him. Not to be rude but this is the face you'll be kissing and having s** with so, makes sense right? I mean everyone has their own preferences. Also wanted to know is it purely a dating app or also for friendship? Just wondering as seen sites stating people abuse it for s** looks that way by the conversation I had. Doubts - basically feeling a bit sh** rating guys based on looks alone and nothing else, really cannot tell if would connect at all on any other level, or if their photos are from years back. I tend to want the whole package - looks and personality with a little slippage here and there (compromises made (physical things - like small beer belly, smoking ...etc.)) - hey no ones perfect. Anyway - here's my crappy convo with a guy: Hi, how are you? Where are you from ? Why are you here? What is your body like ? (Yup that's what he wrote) and it is NO way to start any conversation. Just lied and told him size 16-18 and then blocked him. Just in it for s** by sounds of. Even though he lied and said wasn't sure. I know it attracts shallow types but in no way do I want to be with a guy like that, just horrible, are all the men on this thing like that? Are all the people or at least the majority on it liars? Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Common knowledge around these parts is that Tinder is for hookups/casual sex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I've been on Tinder a couple months and had a great time. I'm an attractive female. Met maybe... 5 or 6 dudes from there. All really nice, normal, sane, fun guys. One surgeon, one doctor, one computer programmer, one musician, a couple of other people. I've had way more dates from Tinder than POF or OKCupid and none of them were seeking casual sex from what I can tell, all seemed to want dating or a relationship. It's just another way of meeting new people and you'll come across just as many genuine guys and liars as you will in other sections of society. Go by your instincts. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I've been on Tinder a couple months and had a great time. I'm an attractive female. Met maybe... 5 or 6 dudes from there. All really nice, normal, sane, fun guys. One surgeon, one doctor, one computer programmer, one musician, a couple of other people. I've had way more dates from Tinder than POF or OKCupid and none of them were seeking casual sex from what I can tell, all seemed to want dating or a relationship. It's just another way of meeting new people and you'll come across just as many genuine guys and liars as you will in other sections of society. Go by your instincts. That's because you're attractive. If you're not all that attractive, then you will not be getting doctors and surgeons hitting you up for a relationship. Average looking women like me, if I were to use tinder, I would probably get all the guys who wanted a hook up. Since they are going on face value, I am probably good enough for sex, but not the face they would select for a relationship. That is not to say I wouldn't attracted a desirable guy in real life - but since I am average looking and they have their pick from attractive women, such desirable men would have to fall for me in person; they wouldn't pick me from a picture. You can't really say that Tinder is useful for anyone besides attractive women like yourself. I hear it is a hook up site. Although highly desirable men who are looking for relationships probably use it, but they also only click on very attractive and desirable looking women. Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I did only give my own experience of Tinder, and qualify it with mentioning that I'm attractive, I didn't intend to imply that it would be the same for everybody... I stand by the second part, that it's just another way of meeting people and will have the same cross-section of great guys/jerks on there as you'd meet in a bar, on another dating site etc. I'm sure it is incredibly unfruitful for some people, for example a very plain or unattractive guy is likely to get very little matches at all, if any, because everybody is super picky when all you have to go on is someone's picture. With an almost nonstop flow of people to click yes or no to, you can afford to be super choosy. That's not to say that I think that's a good thing! I reckon even unattractive women still get plenty of matches though, but possibly yeah mostly from the guys that are looking to hook up, as those types of guys will probably 'like' every female with the throw enough sht at a wall, some of it will stick mentality. But for average to unattractive men I'm sure it basically never works out. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 As a guy, there's no real reason not to "like" every single person you see. What's the worst that could happen? You're matched with someone you don't fancy, they send you a message, and you delete it. So really there is absolutely nothing to lose by liking 100, 200 or 500 profiles in a very short time without even looking at the pictures. I've found it totally useless. Even the matches I've messaged haven't replied. I get a lot more success on traditional style OLD sites. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 (edited) Hello * I would say I am quite a shallow person, a guy has to look attractive in the face for me to even think of having a romantic relationship with him. * Doubts - basically feeling a bit sh** rating guys based on looks alone and nothing else, really cannot tell if would connect at all on any other level *I know it attracts shallow types but in no way do I want to be with a guy like that, just horrible, are all the men on this thing like that? Are all the people or at least the majority on it liars? Shallow say hello to shallow. Yeah it has a rep as a hookup app since it operates on a superficial level. but it doesn't necessarily have to turn out that way if you have a great personality to go along with the pretty looks and its the same with the guy and you hit it off. Most guys will view it along the lines as a hookup site I'd expect and act accordingly. As Leigh said the less attractive girls on it will be seen as merely for NSA fun times. No need to lie, if the guys cut to the chase like the one in that transcript you posted and they assume girls are there for fun. They might lie a little to impress you about their job & wild lifestyle, but if they only view you as short term then any such embellishment would be viewed by them as shrewd marketing. Edited January 30, 2014 by ascendotum Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Shallow say hello to shallow. Yeah it has a rep as a hookup app since it operates on a superficial level. but it doesn't necessarily have to turn out that way if you have a great personality to go along with the pretty looks and its the same with the guy and you hit it off. Most guys will view it along the lines as a hookup site I'd expect and act accordingly. As Leigh said the less attractive girls on it will be seen as merely for NSA fun times. No need to lie, if the guys cut to the chase like the one in that transcript you posted and they assume girls are there for fun. They might lie a little to impress you about their job & wild lifestyle, but if they only view you as short term then any such embellishment would be viewed by them as shrewd marketing. Most guys just after sex were really upfront with me, it was obvious. From the 'are you horny?' to 'I'm only in town tonight and looking for some fun, are you out?' and so forth. I didn't even bother stating to men I wasn't looking for casual sex unless they were blatantly seeking it themselves as, ya know, whether they wanted it or not it wasn't gonna happen. If they were upfront about that I'd let them know I wasn't interested. I'd be surprised if many women go on tinder for casual sex to be honest. It' so easy to get laid, why would you use an app to find a total stranger who could be a threat and put yourself in a vulnerable position? Link to post Share on other sites
sugarpea Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Thanks everyone Your advice means a lot. I think I was just a bit taken back thought the guy would be decent seeing as we had 30+ interests in common too. Not that I'd actually bump into him he lives in city nearby that I don't plan to visit. I just disliked him straight off, because of that. I get it, it's a question people ask and they don't want to waste their time but seriously, have some heart. Personality matters too, though apparently not for that guy. Not too sure if it's for me this app, I don't know if I am attractive, I've had people say that I am pretty but pretty sure that is all people say to you when you're out of a LTR. May keep trying and see. I just want to meet more people and see where it goes from there. Not really looking for a relationship but not really closed off to the idea either seeing as I am 25, and apparently that's practically being in your prime for a woman - don't ask me Google says. Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 As a good looking guy, in athletic shape, slightly over 40 (look 35)and living in a very large city, I've had better luck with tinder than any other online site in terms of number of dates. Women are more receptive to communicating with you because if you've matched up, they've already indicated an interest in you. Not every match has gone anywhere but I get a couple matches a week. In the two months I've been using it probably 6 dates, the latest last night has potential to go somewhere. Of course, just like any online site, its just one tool. It doesn't replace good old fashioned meeting people in real life which I still do. Tinder just lowers the barrier to entry. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 It almost seems like with POF/OkCupid you have so much space to write about yourself you can sorta make a noose for yourself. You can be turned off by so many things. And glaringly bad spelling/grammar is more apparent and makes me not want to talk to somebody, whereas on Tinder at least by the time you realise that you've already established contact so there's a greater chance of it flourishing than if you never speak in the first place. Tinder, being all about the pictures, lets you get to know each other from scratch, through discussion rather than through reading about each other's sales pitches that everyone sees. It's just another way of meeting new people. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SoonMyFriend Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 Ok... TINDER. I don't want to sign up for it. Why? Because I am not a hookup kind of girl. Tried it, and it doesn't work for me. My dilemma: I've noticed my OLD experience has started to stall, and there are fewer & fewer new people joining up each month. However, nearly EVERY single person I know is on Tinder, so it does seem like a good way to meet people. So LS... can Tinder be more than just a hookup app? I feel like I'd be misleading people by signing up, with no intention to have ONS or FWB. I am looking for a relationship or at least dating people who have that potential. Please solidy my opinion that Tinder is not for me. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 It is always a numbers game and if your profile states you are not a hook-up girl, hold to that and see how it goes. I spent years on EVERY dating site imaginable (seriously: 200+ convos and 50+ first meet-and-greets). Eventually, I went to a kinky sex site and said something to the effect, "yep - I like sex and I like it kinky, but I want it in the confines of a long-lasting, monogamous relationship." I had LOTS of guys still wanting me just for hook-ups, but ultimately I found someone who thought and acted like I did: Wanted kinky sex and a certain BDSM lifestyle, but also a traditional relationship. And last November, we got married! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 It is always a numbers game and if your profile states you are not a hook-up girl, hold to that and see how it goes. I spent years on EVERY dating site imaginable (seriously: 200+ convos and 50+ first meet-and-greets). Eventually, I went to a kinky sex site and said something to the effect, "yep - I like sex and I like it kinky, but I want it in the confines of a long-lasting, monogamous relationship." I had LOTS of guys still wanting me just for hook-ups, but ultimately I found someone who thought and acted like I did: Wanted kinky sex and a certain BDSM lifestyle, but also a traditional relationship. And last November, we got married! Awwwww...hopefully you had a separation agreement in place? Link to post Share on other sites
SoonMyFriend Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 Thanks CarrieT! For anyone here on Tinder - can you put a lot of information in your profile? From what I understand it's just photos isn't it? Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 Awwwww...hopefully you had a separation agreement in place? We have a very good pre-nup, yes. Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 Ok... TINDER. I don't want to sign up for it. Why? Because I am not a hookup kind of girl. Tried it, and it doesn't work for me. My dilemma: I've noticed my OLD experience has started to stall, and there are fewer & fewer new people joining up each month. However, nearly EVERY single person I know is on Tinder, so it does seem like a good way to meet people. So LS... can Tinder be more than just a hookup app? I feel like I'd be misleading people by signing up, with no intention to have ONS or FWB. I am looking for a relationship or at least dating people who have that potential. Please solidy my opinion that Tinder is not for me. It has a tendnecy to be a hookup app, but not always. I've "hooked up" from it, but I'm also looking for something more. Right now I'm on second dates with two girls and waiting to see which one works out, but i'm pretty sure I'll end up dating one of them and we'll see what happens from there. It also may be more of a hookup for younger people, early 20's. I'm 42, and I'm meeting women early 30's - 40. So your mileage may vary. Link to post Share on other sites
Phantom888 Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 I have had much success on Match. When I joined I was 37, male executive, educated, divorced Asian dude. I had a lot of winks and messages from women every week, but most of them I never responded. I got 50% replies from women I winked. And half of that ended up in 1st dates. It was fun. I met some wonderful women, had some great sex and learned a lot. I didn't think it was a place for "hook-ups" per se, as I was always looking for a relationship. At one point I basically gave up on the relationship part because these women just wanted to have sex, and were not interested in me as a person. One day out of the blue, I got a wink from a gorgeous blonde woman, and I became very fascinated. She tuned out to be the love of my life.... I am going to propose to her in 8 days. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
peruano99 Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 Most of my friends use that sites for hook ups... I don't like to use dating sites because I am very social. Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 I have had much success on Match. When I joined I was 37, male executive, educated, divorced Asian dude. I had a lot of winks and messages from women every week, but most of them I never responded. I got 50% replies from women I winked. And half of that ended up in 1st dates. It was fun. I met some wonderful women, had some great sex and learned a lot. I didn't think it was a place for "hook-ups" per se, as I was always looking for a relationship. At one point I basically gave up on the relationship part because these women just wanted to have sex, and were not interested in me as a person. One day out of the blue, I got a wink from a gorgeous blonde woman, and I became very fascinated. She tuned out to be the love of my life.... I am going to propose to her in 8 days. Awesome. I'm very social and I meet women in real life too. I just use OLD as a supplement to meet women outside of where I may normally run in to them. I met my most recent ex on Match.com 3 years ago. We had a great run... Link to post Share on other sites
peruano99 Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 I don't even know how to use tinder lolz, but I am going to give it a try. Most of the women I have luck with turn out having boyfriends and not telling me about it.... Link to post Share on other sites
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