Girl I am dating for almost a year is getting back with her ... husband.

[SomeGeekGuy]

Hey Cavalier99,

 

I'm not doing too well. I'm in a bit of a depression still. My first day at work yesterday was not very productive and I made a bunch of mistakes because I had trouble focusing.

 

Since she told me this, I've had nothing but nostalgia and flashbacks of our relationship. Also, all my thoughts after the breakup came back. The secrets, the other men, her behaviour, etc.

 

It doesn't matter what happened or how long it's been, I still have feelings for her. Telling her to go away is very hard for me. My heart wants her badly, but my head knows that there is no point. That it's impossible to make this work.

 

First of all, I lost faith in her when she dropped the bomb on me about being married last year. So I know that if we did get back together, trust would be a big issue. And I really believe that relationships are all about trust. In the end, we'd probably get in a fight over this and end up breaking up.

 

Also, I've analyzed the possibilities if I ever got back with her and I can't see a happy ending any way I look at it. Say we get back together. She has to leave in December to go back to Atlanta. She can't stay here, or else she has to reimburse some fees to her employer which amounts to $15,000. Also, she hates Montreal. She hates winter and the cold and the people here apparently.

 

What then? I'm expected to leave my family, friends and everybody who's ever loved me and supported me to go with a woman who I don't even trust? I have a new job that's going to take me places too and give me a lot of really, really good experience that's going to make me more valuable on the job market too. So, I should give that all up to move there with her? That's a pretty big sacrifice. And if anyone should be doing a sacrifice here, it ain't me. And, judging from her history, I'm willing to bet this would end on some kind of story of unfaithfulness of some kind.

 

Or, what if I don't move with her right away and stay here awhile. I can take an educated guess and imagine that the same scenario that she had with her husband is going to happen all over again. She'll be cheating on me the minute she's back home and I'm over here. And that's just going to bring more problems and drama.

 

I spoke with my grandma about how I felt. She told me she's been thinking a lot about me and my situation and tried to analyze it herself. One argument that she came up with, and I think it's a very valid argument, is that a woman of her age (34) and experience (4 failed marriages I think, most of them due to someone cheating) should have known better. So either she hasn't learned her lesson, or she is taking advantage of people. I prefer to think that the former is her situation. I can't imagine someone being so mean as to take advantage of people that way. And she seems sincere in her emails.

 

Anyway, this has torn me apart and I feel terrible. I wished so so hard that she wasn't this way and that we could be together and be happy. Because, I really can't find anyone else that had everything I could look for in a person like she had.

 

As for the other girl, I don't know. She seems a bit too young for me after all. She's 24 I think. I'm 31. We're in different places in life. She doesn't have the experience and maturity that a long term relationship can bring and she's always lived with her parents. I'm looking for people with more of that maturity that people my age have from living by themselves and sharing a life with someone. I'm just scared I'll be taken for granted once more. She'd make a cool friend, but that's it. Plus, she's the daughter of the HR person at work. I can't screw around with that, or I might end in hot water.

[cavalier99]

Ohh man that sucks. Sorry you are having a super hard time. I also recently had some really strong flash backs and felt some of those really strong emotions again that i had post breakup. They suck.

 

I'm beginning to subscribe to the NO FOOLIN model of recovery (in one of his posts not the guide) where he said getting over the ex is more like getting over an addiction rather than the traditional recovery grieving model.

 

So in my opinion any contact is like the crack/heroin addict going to the street corner were they sell with a big wad of bills. Walking away is tough if not impossible and even if you do you are severely shaken up.

 

Everything you wrote makes perfect sense logically speaking. In spite of all the great qualities you see in her..how could you ever trust her. Remember how she left you so easily and wasn't messed up at all. I mean she cares for you but didn't stop her from destroying you. ..and a lot of other men to boot. You don't want to be her experiment on if she can change. Believe me this is a bad bad bad idea considering getting back together. You know this.

 

And quite frankly the dynamic of this relationship even if you did go back would be you loving her more than she loves you and this would bring out all of your insecurities and cause paranoia.

 

Man your just going to have to detox form her again. Meaning true no contact. It will be easier this time. You aren't at square 1 although it feels that way. Can you do it. And cut her out of your life forever? I know you can but you need to shed Mr. Nice guy to do this and be selfish for once. We are talking about your survival here and the possibility of meeting a truly caring women who will respect you. If you cant get rid of this one and the demos associated with her it will be tough.

 

Sorry your going thru this. I think hard core NC will do it but i know right now you are super torn up about what to do. Keep posting. Take some deep breaths too and try to clear your mind. Cav

Edited January 29, 2013 by cavalier99

[cavalier99]

Man I'm still thinking about your situation. This girl is REALLY REALLY REALLY dangerous for you. Especially considering how sensitive /nice guy you are (not a bad thing)

 

Please RUN. Like NO FOOLIN said. Think of her as if she was a serial killing stalker

 

This whole thing could totally gut you. Imagine of you open your hear again and you guys start to reconcile and she bolts. Or she moves in with you and changes her mind or cheats.

 

What you are feeling now is nothing compared to utter devastation in all areas of your like those "LIKELY' scenarios would cause.

 

Please take a step back. You are ok. Ok? I know you feel rough right now but you can deal with this as long as you don't start a downward thought spiral. Stop yourself ok? Remember how you felt walking by her apartment..looking at the windows. It can be like that again ..that bad...if you let it.

 

Or you can cut her out and shake this off. This is easier option.

 

Also i love Montreal. Super cool city, semi clean, hot cool girls, not too conservative. Montreal is everything Atlanta isn't.

 

Stay strong. Cav

[JamesM]

SGG, I just spent the last hour or more looking at your thread. You have a great way of expressing your emotions with words. Not everyone has that skill. I can tell from other comments that many people have gotten caught up in your story.

 

Thanks for sharing it. Your story will help others who have gone through something similar or are going through it.

 

I don't have alot of advice to offer. I can say what you already know...this girl is not good for you. Having said that, I don't think it will be easy for you to get her out of your life until she moves back to Atlanta. The thoughts of her will linger as long as you know she is within reach.

 

The only way that you will get her out of your mind is by replacing her with someone else, and that is not even a guarantee. But if you meet someone who rocks your world as she did (and you can), then the new girl will give you new memories to replace the old ones.

 

I just wanted to let you know that many LSers are reading your thread and following your story. Based on the amount of people reading it, far more are following it than even make comments. Ever once in awhile someone posts a thread on here that makes an impact, and your is one of those.

[SomeGeekGuy]

Hey guys! Long time no post!

 

It's been almost a month now it seems. I'm feeling great now. Cavalier99, JamesM : Thank you for your ongoing support.

 

Yeah, this whole thing was so stupid. I am pretty much over her now. I think. I just got to a point that I hate her guts now. I'm also starting to forget our time together. I don't even know if it's worth remembering anymore. When I look back at pictures of her, I really don't have that much nostalgia and I feel more anger than anything else.

 

What the **** was she even thinking to ask me to get back in her life like that before she goes back home anyway? That was completely selfish of her.

 

Sure, she was nice to me while we were together, but she ****ed me up so bad that I'm not even the same person anymore. I'm much more cynical than I used to be and that's something that I hate about myself now. I also have a general distrust in women now. Which is bad. Especially now that I met a couple of girls recently. I really don't know how to move forward with anyone. Or even if I DO want to move forward.

 

One was a receptionist at my new job. She is a total babe. I never really talked to her since she left the company a month after I got hired. And quite frankly I was too shy around her and thought she'd never be interested in me anyway. Not a hottie like her. Pff! As if a geeky little dude like me had a chance. I added her to LinkedIn to at least keep professional ties. But, then I got the surprise of my life when she added me to Facebook! Right then, I discovered she's actually the sister of a friend of my best friend's girlfriend. The world IS small. She's actually pretty funny! We've been chatting here and there, but she seems cool. I think I might ask her out some Friday or Saturday night just for the hell of it and see how it goes.

 

Then there is another girl. She's the daughter of the HR lady at work. She was hired temporarily to replace the previous receptionist for about a month until everyone came back from holiday vacation. Turns out she is a complete uber-geek and a total book nerd. I contacted her on the work email and ended up adding each other on Facebook and even went on a couple of dates. We had a great time! On our first date we were such dorks. We brought books to the restaurant and we were exchanging our books and talking about this author and that story and this movie and these comics, etc. We ended up talking so much we got kicked out because they were closing! She is super duper cute and super sweet. A bit young though and she doesn't seem ready to settle down in a relationship. She still wants to travel the world and work overseas to teach English. So, I don't know if there's any future there. It's sad because I really, really like her and she is super attractive.

 

Finally there's a third one who seems a bit geeky too. She's the newest member on my dodgeball team. She is really nice and super cute. She's Russian, from Toronto, and works at a University in Microbiology or something. I kinda have a thing for her and I'd like to ask her out, but so far she's been super busy with receiving friends and coworkers over from all over the place and I haven't found any time when she isn't busy other than our weekly dodgeball games. I drive her back home after every game though and she is fun to talk to.

 

But, yeah. I'm kinda stuck though. I'm starting to be happy being single. Valentine's day wasn't so bad. I spent the evening by myself walking around the city. But, I didn't mind at all. I was perfectly fine. I told myself that it could be worst. I could be spending a lot of money to impress a girl and tell her about how I feel about her and spill my heart out only to be told that the girl I'm in love with is married the next day by email. How ****ed up is that? I swear, I will never forgive her for that. Anyway, I digress. V-day was alright.

 

The only problem left is that I sometimes get incredibly lonely and crave a woman's body so bad that it drives me crazy. I don't want that to influence how I behave around these ladies I just met, but this is getting really tough.

[cavalier99]

Yo! Hey I'm really glad to hear your doing well. I was worried after your posts from like a month ago. Seemed like you were going backwards a bit.

 

Wow. Congrats. Your recovered. That is HUGE. I mean have you gone back and read some of your post form the early months? I mean it was bad...not to make light of the pain you felt. This is a inspiration for all of us.

 

I'm really happy for you. I know Hopeful and many other will be too. Keep it up with the women. Always great to have some things in the hopper. Rock on! Cav

[Hopeful714]

SomeGeekGuy- you are my hero! I want to be just like you!

 

You picked yourself up from the darkest despair of depression and heart break and created for yourself a whole new life. You walked away from a toxic situation that you knew was no good for you and now you look at it with utter disgust. You threw yourself out there as hard as it was, and when you felt like absolute crap, and it is now beginning to pay off for you in so many ways!

 

Words cannot express how happy I am for you.

 

It appears you are being cautious now...as you should be. You have been through the ringer. But please...when it comes time, find a way to be able to trust again, and give yourself fully when you are ready. Don't let that broken girl make you jaded forever or you will end up holding yourself back and eventually hurting a girl that WILL be there for you, and good to you and who wants to be with you badly. Always remember what happened to you, when dealing with others feelings. That is most important...so that you can be conscious, respectful, and mindful of others ...and I know you know that.

 

For now, I'm still a quasi-regular here on LS. I'm feeling much better these days but I'm still dealing with a bit of depression and esteem issues. Im going into my 7th month since the BU. I know the next step for me is getting out and about in life again...basically making myself...because I know I have to. I so can't wait to feel nothing but pity and disgust and somewhere.....wayyyy down the road... some type of peace/forgiveness to the guy (monster?) who completely broke, shattered and mentally tormented me with tons of lies, games, and all the cheating....just like you. The whole thing still weirds me out at times, scares me, and chills me to the bone.

 

Anyhow, good luck to you and keep posting when you can. Again, you are the model here of no matter how bad it can be...we can recover.

 

Be well!

[SomeGeekGuy]

Aww geez, thanks you guys!

 

I wouldn't say I'm fully recovered yet. I will when she will completely disappear from my thoughts. I still think of her, but not in a good way. I hold a grudge against her now and that's no good. I think the only way I can really fully recover is when I find someone else and fall in love again. Even then, I don't know.

 

What has kept my mind off of her mostly is my new job. It's a god send. It's a really hard job, but it keeps my mind occupied.

 

Cavalier: I don't think I want to go back and look at what I went through. I don't want to relive these feelings.

 

Hopeful: I am really sorry to hear that you went through something similar. No one should live through that. I wouldn't even wish that to my worst enemy. All you need to do is take care of yourself. Do things you enjoy doing, or used to enjoy but didn't have enough time to do it before. Meet with friends or do social activities. Try to be around people. I found that this is what helped the most and brought my mood back up. Maybe you won't be 100% back to the way you were before, but at least you'll feel way better than you did since the break up. Eventually, you'll start forgetting your relationship. You'll start to smile more and be happier. People will notice. And you will GET noticed. Just hang in there. Give yourself a few more months.

 

Also if you have a thread of your own, I'd really like to read your story. Can you post a link to it?

[SomeGeekGuy]

My god.

 

My ex just added me on facebook. I sent her a friend request like waaaaay back when I first met her and had totally forgot about it. She just accepted it this evening and sent me a message asking me what's this friend request about and what happened to the whole "don't talk to me" thing. So I told her it's an old request.

 

I went through her profile for a bit. I don't feel like I even miss her anymore. Looking at her photo album, I realized that about a week or two prior to dating me, she was actually in California with the guy who used to be her husband back then. They got married in April and made a few trips together after. Quite frankly, it just made me angry. You wanna know why? Because, when she dropped the bomb on me about still being married, she gave me all this bull **** story about how they got in a fight and talked about annulling their ****ing marriage and that they weren't together anymore. Well, those pictures just prove to me how much of a ****ing lie this whole thing was. She was just ****ing dudes here in Montreal while her husband was away because she knew she could get away with it. And I was nothing more than a ****ing pawn in her little game.

 

Now she keeps coming back because she, supposedly, misses me and that she had never been so happy with anybody else. WELL TOUGH **** SISTER! You shoulda thought about that BEFORE SCREWING ME OVER AND SLEEPING WITH OTHER MEN BEHIND MY OWN ****ING BACK.

 

I don't think she got the message. I don't think she understands either what she's done and how she affected me. I often find myself having imaginary discussions with here where I yell at her as to why I don't want to talk to her anymore and I want her to stay away. I almost feel like I should just straight up call her and tell her what's on my ****ing mind once and for all. But, I'm gonna keep my mouth shut. I prefer to keep quiet in case I might need to talk to her in the future, for whatever possible reason, whether its advice on border laws or travelling or whatever. Who knows.

 

I'm just gonna try to simmer down now and go back to whatever I was doing.

 

**** this ****.

[cavalier99]

My god.

 

My ex just added me on facebook. I sent her a friend request like waaaaay back when I first met her and had totally forgot about it. She just accepted it this evening and sent me a message asking me what's this friend request about and what happened to the whole "don't talk to me" thing. So I told her it's an old request.

 

I went through her profile for a bit. I don't feel like I even miss her anymore. Looking at her photo album, I realized that about a week or two prior to dating me, she was actually in California with the guy who used to be her husband back then. They got married in April and made a few trips together after. Quite frankly, it just made me angry. You wanna know why? Because, when she dropped the bomb on me about still being married, she gave me all this bull **** story about how they got in a fight and talked about annulling their ****ing marriage and that they weren't together anymore. Well, those pictures just prove to me how much of a ****ing lie this whole thing was. She was just ****ing dudes here in Montreal while her husband was away because she knew she could get away with it. And I was nothing more than a ****ing pawn in her little game.

 

Now she keeps coming back because she, supposedly, misses me and that she had never been so happy with anybody else. WELL TOUGH **** SISTER! You shoulda thought about that BEFORE SCREWING ME OVER AND SLEEPING WITH OTHER MEN BEHIND MY OWN ****ING BACK.

 

I don't think she got the message. I don't think she understands either what she's done and how she affected me. I often find myself having imaginary discussions with here where I yell at her as to why I don't want to talk to her anymore and I want her to stay away. I almost feel like I should just straight up call her and tell her what's on my ****ing mind once and for all. But, I'm gonna keep my mouth shut. I prefer to keep quiet in case I might need to talk to her in the future, for whatever possible reason, whether its advice on border laws or travelling or whatever. Who knows.

 

I'm just gonna try to simmer down now and go back to whatever I was doing.

 

**** this ****.

 

Ha. Well i wouldn't say that anger is indifference. Lol But for you this is actually really good!

 

Now you truly understand why everyone was telling you to tell her to f*ck off and you were being far to nice. Lol

 

Not that you should do it but i think it is good you realize that you really had a lot to be angry about. Cav

[dreamingoftigers]

Hi SGG,

 

I've read this thread on and off by don't think I had anything much to add to it until now.

 

My ex-fiancée left me six weeks before we were supposed to be married. We cut contact. I had the "imaginary conversations in my head" for awhile. Than I realized they weren't going away. Even after I met a new potential someone.

 

It's like your brain's way of keeping you tied to that relationship.

 

I got sick of my ex "renting space in my head."

 

So what I did was imagined him at my door and me telling him that I was sick of talking to him about all of this crap, that "real" him was out of my life anyways and that I was evicting him from my daily thoughts and I wasn't going to talk to him anymore.

 

Honestly, the mental temptation to do it came up a few times and it was like I had to take a step back and say "wait, wait... I'm still not talking to you. Bye."

 

Sometimes we just need to take that ex baggage by the horns and throw it in the dump where it belongs.

 

You could always give her a blast of Sh*t over FB and block her too. LOL.

 

My god.

 

My ex just added me on facebook. I sent her a friend request like waaaaay back when I first met her and had totally forgot about it. She just accepted it this evening and sent me a message asking me what's this friend request about and what happened to the whole "don't talk to me" thing. So I told her it's an old request.

 

I went through her profile for a bit. I don't feel like I even miss her anymore. Looking at her photo album, I realized that about a week or two prior to dating me, she was actually in California with the guy who used to be her husband back then. They got married in April and made a few trips together after. Quite frankly, it just made me angry. You wanna know why? Because, when she dropped the bomb on me about still being married, she gave me all this bull **** story about how they got in a fight and talked about annulling their ****ing marriage and that they weren't together anymore. Well, those pictures just prove to me how much of a ****ing lie this whole thing was. She was just ****ing dudes here in Montreal while her husband was away because she knew she could get away with it. And I was nothing more than a ****ing pawn in her little game.

 

Now she keeps coming back because she, supposedly, misses me and that she had never been so happy with anybody else. WELL TOUGH **** SISTER! You shoulda thought about that BEFORE SCREWING ME OVER AND SLEEPING WITH OTHER MEN BEHIND MY OWN ****ING BACK.

 

I don't think she got the message. I don't think she understands either what she's done and how she affected me. I often find myself having imaginary discussions with here where I yell at her as to why I don't want to talk to her anymore and I want her to stay away. I almost feel like I should just straight up call her and tell her what's on my ****ing mind once and for all. But, I'm gonna keep my mouth shut. I prefer to keep quiet in case I might need to talk to her in the future, for whatever possible reason, whether its advice on border laws or travelling or whatever. Who knows.

 

I'm just gonna try to simmer down now and go back to whatever I was doing.

 

**** this ****.

[dreamingoftigers]

I also closed and locked the door.

 

That really helped.

 

It's hard to give up on those conversations because often times they are the only ones where our ex would listen to our frustrations etc. Or where we were perfectly sarcastic and cunning with a quick wit to their stupid excuses.

 

I also had to cut off the imaginary convos with my husband while we were separated. Once I did it helped to clear my mind a lot.

 

With him though, I was used to about 6 years of marriage so I had to replace talking with him to talking to someone else about my day etc.

 

Hi SGG,

 

I've read this thread on and off by don't think I had anything much to add to it until now.

 

My ex-fiancée left me six weeks before we were supposed to be married. We cut contact. I had the "imaginary conversations in my head" for awhile. Than I realized they weren't going away. Even after I met a new potential someone.

 

It's like your brain's way of keeping you tied to that relationship.

 

I got sick of my ex "renting space in my head."

 

So what I did was imagined him at my door and me telling him that I was sick of talking to him about all of this crap, that "real" him was out of my life anyways and that I was evicting him from my daily thoughts and I wasn't going to talk to him anymore.

 

Honestly, the mental temptation to do it came up a few times and it was like I had to take a step back and say "wait, wait... I'm still not talking to you. Bye."

 

Sometimes we just need to take that ex baggage by the horns and throw it in the dump where it belongs.

 

You could always give her a blast of Sh*t over FB and block her too. LOL.

[lostindreams]

it sounds like youve been taken along for a ride. GET OUT NOW. it will hurt like hell but itll hurt more if you stay. realiez this was not your fault. get out and do something, ANYTHING, go to the gym or something, get your mind off it even for a few minutes. wow, she sounds like a total jerk...

[geegirl]

This thread is going to be a year old. And you are still affected by this woman. It's actually pretty sad.

[JamesM]

This thread is going to be a year old. And you are still affected by this woman. It's actually pretty sad.

 

Actually, if you read the many threads over the years that I have of this nature, it is also not unusual.

[geegirl]

Actually, if you read the many threads over the years that I have of this nature, it is also not unusual.

 

It may not be unusual, but it certainly doesn't make it emotionally and mentally healthy.

 

Even after he's now found out that she has lied, he's still bargaining in his head about how he may just have to keep quiet about it because he may need to contact her about travel laws. SMH.

[SomeGeekGuy]

it sounds like youve been taken along for a ride. GET OUT NOW. it will hurt like hell but itll hurt more if you stay. realiez this was not your fault. get out and do something, ANYTHING, go to the gym or something, get your mind off it even for a few minutes. wow, she sounds like a total jerk...

 

Hi Lostindreams, trust me, I've done all this stuff. I'm pretty much over her now, except for some anger issues that remain.

 

This thread is going to be a year old. And you are still affected by this woman. It's actually pretty sad.

 

Geegirl, you didn't live through what I lived. Yeah this thread is a year old, but have you read through the whole thing? I would say that I made a lot of good progress. Sometimes, it's not so easy to fully recover.

 

Also, this kind of comment is not very constructive. I came here to share my story and get some advice and some help on how to cope with my feelings. Not to be told that I am a sad case.

Edited March 2, 2013 by SomeGeekGuy

[Hopeful714]

I don't think that there is anything unusual about your recovery time.

 

Considering the deception and betrayal, I have no doubt you were dealing with someone with a personality disorder. The constant lying is evidence of that....look it up...if you haven't already. Some of these people have no conscious or empathy for anyone. Hard to believe but...yea, these types DO exist.

 

Also, being in a relationship of this nature, does and can take a long time to recover from because your being manipulated..which is a form of emotional abuse. There are countless references to read that state how this type of abuse can cause PTSD. Not to mention the depression all this caused.

 

It was far from a normal relationship and/or BU. Or even a bad relationship for that matter. This was creepy and demented. I understand your wanting to "figure it all out" because it was such a puzzle to you and I think it helps with healing when we know what exactly happened....although we never will.

 

Sorry SSG- my posts have been all over the place. Someday though I will write it all out in story form like you did. Then I will share. If anything...maybe it will help someone somewhere.

[SomeGeekGuy]

Hopeful714, I really hope you recover from your experience. You seem like a really nice person. I really hope that you get better real soon.

 

When I look back, I think what really helped me recover is my new job. It's really hard and the challenges keep me busy. My mind has shifted from thinking about my personal emotional problems to resolving complex software problems instead. It's been a real life saver. I also feel better about myself and my self worth and it really boost my confidence.

 

So from my experience, I find that getting involved in activities that make you feel better about yourself is a great way to cope and relieve a lot of the symptoms of depression.

[cavalier99]

It think one of the morals of your story is we recover even with LC. But it is definitely faster with complete NC.

 

That being said it seems like in under a year you are over this. So not too shabby considering the sate your were in.

 

Cav

[SomeGeekGuy]

Also, being in a relationship of this nature, does and can take a long time to recover from because your being manipulated..which is a form of emotional abuse. There are countless references to read that state how this type of abuse can cause PTSD. Not to mention the depression all this caused.

 

I've been thinking about this and you are absolutely right. I have been suffering from PTSD! I never really realised this until you mentioned it. I've heard soldiers talk about their experience coming back from the war and how they felt alone because nobody understood the emotional pain they were going through and everyone just expected them to deal with it, put on a happy face and go on with their life.

 

I have felt the exact same way. I feel misunderstood. And every one around me is just telling me to forget about it and move on. Yet, I feel like I can't move on. This still haunts me. This single even has hurt me beyond what anything or anyone ever could and really emotionally scarred me.

 

In the meantime, I put on a happy face and pretend that I'm happy. But, the truth is I'm not. Not 100% anyway.

 

Yeah, I finally got my **** together and I'm functioning again. But, I'm not healed. I don't know how long I have still.

[Hopeful714]

Read what I just posted today. I feel like puking.

[Hopeful714]

I dunno SGG. We are good people..and we met messed up ones who are far beyond what I or you can comprehend...or even knew existed.

 

It's a horrible thing to go through. But know that you are not alone.

 

What really bothers me though...is these people go out and continue to do this to others. Leaving trauma in their wake. And get away with it. THAT...just eats the shi* out of me. Big time.

[Hopeful714]

It also bothers me that someone really got something over me like this. And knew it all along they were doing it. It makes me feel like a big jack-as*. Like I fell for something hook line and sinker and he knew it all along and took pleasure in that...he made it seem all so real.

 

They lived double lives....and that is scary scary stuff.

 

They continue on with the games... we can't let them destroy our belief that there are good people out there...however hard that is to do right now.

 

I just want people like this to pay.

[SomeGeekGuy]

I dunno SGG. We are good people..and we met messed up ones who are far beyond what I or you can comprehend...or even knew existed.

 

It's a horrible thing to go through. But know that you are not alone.

 

What really bothers me though...is these people go out and continue to do this to others. Leaving trauma in their wake. And get away with it. THAT...just eats the shi* out of me. Big time.

 

Yeah. I have felt especially bad for my ex's husband. I wonder what he went through. She probably played him just as much and kept on lying to him until he himself got fed up.

 

I wonder sometimes what would happen if I got in touch with him. Hear his side of the story. I got a feeling we would bring my ex's lies into the light and see a bit more about who she really is.

 

It also bothers me that someone really got something over me like this. And knew it all along they were doing it. It makes me feel like a big jack-as*. Like I fell for something hook line and sinker and he knew it all along and took pleasure in that...he made it seem all so real.

 

To this day, I still feel like the world's biggest sucker. It's hard to have some dignity when you feel like this.

 

They lived double lives....and that is scary scary stuff.

 

They continue on with the games... we can't let them destroy our belief that there are good people out there...however hard that is to do right now.

 

I just want people like this to pay.

 

Yeah, well my ex is paying for it. She's 34, I think she's been divorced over 4 times. That's even more than Matt Foley who lives in a van down by the river. And she has no one to look forward to live her life with except a bunch of strangers in her bed. And it doesn't look like that's gonna change any time soon.

 

For the moment she's trying to cling to the few guys that actually stuck around long enough. Like how she hangs out with this other "friend" of hers who's been around since she moved here. She tried to get back with me so she would have someone to travel with and do her activities. She's trying so hard to hold on to these guys and they are all slipping away.