The thin line between love & hate + burning bridges and breaking NC

[MovingOn13]

Its funny you mentioned the legs/ass photo. My ex posted a well edited picture of her and her new tat on the side of her body near rib area.

 

I don't think she could have cried for more attention.

 

Social sites are the worst. I don't ever look at hers she is not even my friend but her pic shows up sometimes under "people in this album" or under people you may know.

 

I have had a rough week but today im feeling pretty good. I honestly feel the 2month mark is the hardest because thats when reality reallllly sets in.

 

My friend mentioned that the ex asked if i also was going to a tiesto concert tomorrow not to long ago. I don't want to make something out of nothing but it means im still in her head. It's funny because during the break up she cried to be friends and i said no... and proceeded NC 100%. I think the 2 month part is pivotal for dumper and dumpee. You realize what you lost/gained.

[giveittofate]

I'm glad you fellas are sharing your experiences with how checking in on our exes on these sites will do NOTHING but cause pain and setbacks...trust me at times when I'm on FB i get the itch to look at her cousins page (i deleted her, so I use to look at mutual friends to check in) but for the past month in a half I've been clean (quite funny how it sounds like I'm talking about a drug, but in a sense that's exactly what this feels like, a withdrawal )

 

like you silvermane, the changing on the seasons from cold to warm was ALWAYS such a happy time...I am excited for the good weather and all I have to look forward too, yet it still isn't as exciting as it was before....it's been 4 months since th breakup, and a month and a half of NC (after her weak attempt to come across as she wasn't as heartless as she seemed at first) I feel better, but you're not alone brother, not a day goes by when she doesnt come in my thoughts often...damn dark cloud.

 

I think for me personally this is especially hard because this was the first girl I ever loved and first relationship I really took seriously...i truly did go from wanting to live like rob dyrdek til im 40, to appreciating having a girl by my side to share things with...a bit of maturing? i think so. Anyways silvermane, i think since this is our first real love adapting to life without them is especially hard, because with love they are all we know....and don't think it's wrong that you're still depressed now....F it man, I was the most happy go lucky dude before her, and this breakup has smacked me down quite hard...I could never imagine me of all people would ever feel lonely and broken...I am getting better, and with time I'll heal...i think summer will be quite a boost...the sun, the weather, boating, sports, beaches, cute girls in hot clothes....hell yes man....trust me dude, we'll find a girl in the future that will take this hollow sad feeling and fill our hearts with love again....and it will all make sense again...we're both in our young 20's man....WE GOT TONS OF TIME, remember that man....this is just a phase and experience in life that sucks complete cock now, but once we heal, we'll be better and stronger than ever

 

 

here's a question to the older dudes on this thread....have any of you had loves before where when it ended you thought "oh man i'll never love again, she was the one..yadda, yadda" only to find a more powerful love later?? maybe this happened one a few occasions to some? ...i'm 24 and at times id let my emotions and broken heart get the best of me and I had those thoughts, yet when I really think about it I feel quite dumb thinking that, because if they we're really "the one" then they'd still be here and not putting us through these dark days.

 

another thought...knowing how big our hearts are and the way we can commit to someone and love at such a high level should make us happy that when we do meet mrs. right that it can be a love that last forever, while the rest who can jump from person to person will never find true lasting love, and just add to the high divorce rate....we're a rare bread I think, and it just makes things a little harder for us, but once it happens we'll be great

[MovingOn13]

@givetofate

 

Well said bro. I am only 20...just got out of the first love bull****. But its true that we are a rare breed.

 

Any man who signs up under a place like this is a man with a heart and one who cares.

 

It's important to care for a woman but never should we ever be a doormat. I am glad i didnt beg or plead for her. She wanted space...and i have given her a full 2 months of super space.

 

I think one of my biggest pitfalls in the relationship was that i relied too much on her presence. For the next relationship i am i will try sooo hard to maintain a better balance that isn't just her.

 

I do have the thoughts "what if i dont ever love again" and i know they are silly given my age. I also think summer will do wonders for my healing.

[silvermane187]

 

Social sites are the worst. I don't ever look at hers she is not even my friend but her pic shows up sometimes under "people in this album" or under people you may know.

 

haha I had that happen to me too when she unblocked me back after new year, leading to the **** storm I told in the OP. You can block her so she won't show up. Off to bed, hopefully tomorrow is better.

[ccfan]

Well i´m 34 and i remember clearly when i was madly, i mean madly in love with a couple girls in my 20s ... then the horrible break ups and then one day the pain dissapeared and i barely think of any of those girls.. almost never... so that´s good news for you guys that are in the early 20s

 

The bad news for us the thirty somethings or at least that what i read in an article is that apparently at this age the break ups hurt more that at any other age because we add more expectations to the relationships (toughts of marriage, kids, house, etc) so when the break up occurs is like our entire vision of the future is taken away from us.. i remember my pain when i had break ups in my 20s and there are nowere near as painful as what i´m feeling now. not even close

 

Like we have said, we need to avoid, even do a help circle or something to NEVER ever look online about our exes, i did on monday and almost did today again, i felt awful , and we´ll always, always get the feeling that our exes are having such a great time while we are miserable...

 

For me specially i forsee a really tough season ahead, it seems that my ex has a new tv show and everytime people come up to me an say that they saw her on tv etc.. etc.. if they only knew the unvelievable , really inmense pain that i feel everytime they mention her .. oh well... now i´m trying to figure out a way to deal with this new because there are going to be more of them for sure... any suggestions guys would be appreciated....

 

Silver: don´t let your friends bring you down with time dates... like "it´s been six months already and you are still sad about her" ... i´m sure they don´t mean wrong but it puts a pressure on us like we are some sort of freaks for still be hurt... well.. some people recover in a month , some in years , some even never (like Elvis, he never truly recover from his divorce until the day he died) so whatever time we need to heel is the time we need. period. in my case i see (hopefully not) more 4 months before i´m really over her... but already my friends are telling me to seek proffesional help, like if i was crying all day not working or something... not cool...

 

Thats the good thing about this place we can really talk to people that are going thru the same pain and not feel like freaks.

 

Stay strong guys.. tomorrow it´s going to be another day... hopefully good....

Edited March 31, 2011 by ccfan

[ccfan]

At least I'm not spending 10 days getting shelled in a muddy foxhole on Okinawa or freezing to death while a milion angry soviets rush me on the eastern front. To think about the hell that kids my age and younger went through can sometimes help trivalize the my own empty existence.

 

And we don´t even need to go that extreme, actually in these boards you´ll see people that their exes cheated on , in their beds while being with them, other that aside doing that the girl wants half of everything... i mean those are really horror stories that thank God didn´t get that far for us.

[silvermane187]

Well this morning was a little better. I woke up early go to meet my uncle at the stadium to pick up my free tickets to opening day on friday. It was cold and rainy but walking outside and running up stairs to get there somehow gave me a little mood boost. I got to go check out the field which was pretty awesome considering the contrast between how empty and quiet it was to how packed and loud it will be tomorrow. I had a couple triggers on the trip that I hadn't experienced yet. I handled them pretty well. Seeing my uncle def. helped. He's a great guy and always seems to cheer me up. It's good to be reminded that my loyality and faith will always be well spent on my family and a few old friends, even if I've given up the idea of ever completely giving it to a girl again.

 

ccfan: question for you...how long were you together with your first serious gf and how long did it take you to get over it? I've pertty much moved on in the sense I have no hope of ever seeing or hearing from her again, but I doubt I'll ever get to the point where I don't have any feelings from her memory, good and bad. Maybe thinking about your ability to get over past relationships will help you with this one.

[MovingOn13]

@ Silver,

 

Loyalty and faith in family, to me, is the only place where it is 100% real and passionate.

 

Any other outside relationship is not the same and we should tread lightly. It is a pessimistic attitude, but the truth is that rarely will anyone stand by you when **** really hits the fan like family will.

 

I too feel like i can't put so much trust in a girl like i did. Now, i didn't get cheated on ( at least i dont think) but there was a level of dishonesty and disrespect that has altered my vision on relationships.

 

I guess you could say i will be quite guarded for some time.

[ccfan]

[quote=MovingOn13;3320224,

I too feel like i can't put so much trust in a girl like i did. Now, i didn't get cheated on ( at least i dont think) but there was a level of dishonesty and disrespect that has altered my vision on relationships.

.

 

Same here man... i´m afraid that if I have a relationship in the near future it wil be a fake one meaning that i wont give myself totally to a girl like i did before.. maybe I´m pessimistic but i don´t see myself fully trusting a girl in the future, not only because of what happened to me but also everywere i look there´s infidelity on both sides and cases of real unconditional love are lesser and lesser these days... it doesn´t look good.

 

@silver. I remember two big relationships when i was young, the biggest one in terms of how much i loved the girl was when i was 18 until I was 20... gosh i really loved this girl and remember that she followed that im-not-totally-into-you pattern that got me crazy those days... then one day she ended it.. i was hurt but nowere at the level that i´m now.

 

I got over her in less than a year and now i barely, barely remember her... believe me when i tell you this.. BUT THERE´S A CATCH 22 with her: after she dumped me she moved to Europe and basically dissapeared from the face of the earth, even to this day she does not have facebook , twitter or anything, so forgeting her was way, way easier, than forget my current ex that´s on TV and obsesed to be famous.

 

But the short answer is yes, i totally and absolutely forgot about that girl.

Edited April 1, 2011 by ccfan

[MovingOn13]

I can only look to the future with curiosity and a sense of excitement...but they say first love never truly dies.

 

I hope i can one day be 100 percent indifferent towards the ex...but since we grew up together since we were 15 i felt and still feel a sense of a protector towards her...but its not my job anymore and thats whats been difficult for me.

 

It's weird from going 5 years talking almost daily to now practically nothing. There are good days and bad days. I get anxiety sometimes out of the situation...but i think my problem is i am thriving on fantasy of what could have been not necessarily on what was. I hope to be in a much better position in the coming weeks.

[silvermane187]

@ccfan

 

How long were you with that girl? Just curious.

 

@movingon

 

man I'm the same way about still feeling like I have to protect her. The 2nd last time I had contact with my ex she said she was on her way home from "work" at 1am and I told her to be careful and that I still worried about her. Big mistake, obviously this pushed her even further away. I got the ol "don't contact me until you don't give a **** if I respond or not" line. That was prety much the final nail in the coffin for me. I told her that I would never stop caring for her and haven't heard from her since. Oh well, **** her right?

 

 

 

 

Today is going to be a rollercoaster to say the least. MLB opening day to me has always been my favourite day of the year. I was going to wear my jersey to the game tonight but then I remembered that it was my ex that bought it for me 3 years ago. She was dead broke and spent 200 bucks on it for me after we had only been going out for about half a year. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever gotten me. Needless to say that memory flashed in front of me when I looked at it and led to a pretty depressing morning. Looks like I won't be wearing a jersey anytime soon. Hopefully I can forget about her and all the games we went to tonight for long enough to enjoy myself. Having her ghost ruin my favourite night of the year would be a god damn shame. It's going to be hard considering I'll be sitting in the same seat where we had one of our first dates.

 

I also had a dream last night about the first girl I was crazy about back when I was 17 or 18. Hopefully that's a good sign that my brain is trying to replace my ex with anything it can. I'd much rather think about how I ****ed up with that girl than how my ex dumped me like it was a chore. At least the first girl was something I ended up having some control over. Hell I wish my current ex had cheated on me so I could have dumped her and not wasted 5 months holding on to hope she would change her mind. At least now I'm (hopefully)on the right track.

 

Well that's my morning update. Ho hum.

[ccfan]

@ccfan

 

How long were you with that girl? Just curious.

 

I also had a dream last night about the first girl I was crazy about back when I was 17 or 18. Hopefully that's a good sign that my brain is trying to replace my ex with anything it can. I'd much rather think about how I ****ed up with that girl than how my ex dumped me like it was a chore. At least the first girl was something I ended up having some control over. .

 

 

With that girl i was for a year aprox, but it was on and off (of course she dictated that course). I really loved her..

 

Yes man, the replacement thing happened to me with the ex before my current ex, the one that i sent those roses, etc... all my friends told me if i was crazy for getting back in touch with the second ex, but like you i told them that as long as my mind was ocupied by another girl that itself for me was a relief, so i understand you man, and say go ahead and think of any other girls you want

 

Also i read an psicology article that said than in relationships like ours were one is madly in love and the other half was not nice and maybe a co dependency pattern existed, the usual time frame to heal is up until 18 months... so lets don´t get desperate if we are in month 6 and still feel bad

[silvermane187]

Funny that you mention 18 months, that's exactly how long I figure it's going to take. Got a link to that article?

[ccfan]

Hopefully it will be less than 18 months... but don´t let friends make you fell like a weirdo for still being hurt after 6-7 months... it´s not that bad....

 

The article was in spanish (my language) but basically said that the normal time frame for recovery is up to those 18 months, longer than that it is time to seek proffesional help...

 

Well... the dreaded weekend... with thoughts of her in discotheques or whatever... can´t wait for this nightmare to end...

[silvermane187]

Had a great night yesterday. Came home drunk as a skunk and couldn't fight the urge to check her twitter page. Just more bitching about school with her ass picture up. Oddly enough it didn't bother me at all and now that I'm sobered up I can fight the urge to check it. Going out again today.

[ccfan]

Had a great night yesterday. Came home drunk as a skunk and couldn't fight the urge to check her twitter page. Just more bitching about school with her ass picture up. Oddly enough it didn't bother me at all and now that I'm sobered up I can fight the urge to check it. Going out again today.

 

 

Thats good news Silver.. hopefully you´ll lreach a point that when you see the ass picture and other annoying things she does you´ll be just that: annoyed, nothing more..

 

I´m right in the middle, i feel that at any time i can feel great... and at the same time i can be misserable if i´m not careful of what I think... i did something stupid lats night (don´t really know why) and texted a couple of her friends saying hello.... oh well...

[silvermane187]

Yea, while I had a good time this weekend there were about a dozen times that's I wish she was there with me. It can be kind of depressing but then I just remind myself that she didn't even try to work things out so **** her...as for your texting, alcohol is a hell of a drug...

 

The funny way I look at it is now that I'm on the downswing of the weekend it's like my brain has to take a crap. Day after day it will get worse and worse until I finally get some relief with a giant brain turd explosion. I only hope my brain **** gets smaller becuase no matter what I do it's stuck in there right now...lol alcohol is a hell of a drug.

Edited April 4, 2011 by silvermane187

[silvermane187]

Wow that brain **** post was retarded. Damn rum.

 

I had a dream about her last night. In it she wanted me back. I asked "why the change of heart?". She said her new guy was yelling at her and she missed me. I simply said "I don't know if I can do that after all you put me through" then woke up. Seems like my brain is finally dealing with it a little better. Everyone of my dreams before involved us being together in crazy circumstances or her running away from me. That's a positive I guess. On the downside I'm missing her more today than I have in a while. While the dream showed me that I'm moving on, the reality that she is never going to want me back is a bummer.

 

Two more days until 6 months since the dumping. It's funny how I had no idea what the exact date of our first date was but this I can remember everytime I look at a calender. You never see it coming you only get to see it go.

[ccfan]

Well almost seven months here since she dumped me .... it´s kind of frustrating as i had a very good one month run were i really felt i was over the break up... and then... back into the hole big time... i´m sadly guessing that this will take well over a year.. easily.

 

Also i accidentally saw a couple of old pictures of her.. she always looks so pretty and having such a great time... hurts like hell. As for texting their friends last weekend I did it sober!! so i don´t know what my mind is up to....

 

Sounds like you are healing faster than me bro, way to go, stay strong

[silvermane187]

Sorry to hear that ccfan, I know how you feel. I know for a fact if I saw a picture of her when I'm sober my heart wou sink, my pulse would go up to 130, my hands would start shaking, and I would feel like going to town on a punching bag until I collapsed.

 

As for texting her friends, I suppose you just did it out of curiosity. A couple weeks after my ex dumped me her best friend got dumped after a year long relationship. For whatever reason my ex's best friend started messaging me asking for advice. Sure I didn't start the contact, but once it was open I asked her how my ex was doing and if she was dating anyone. There's always that itch in the back of my mind to what shes up to, how she is, etc. I ended up deleting the ex's friend and anybody else who I knew through her off facebook a couple weeks later. You should probably delete her friends numbers off your phone. I know that when I got dumped I consiered her to be dumping my family/friends and me losing her family/friends at the same time. Some people may find that immature but there's no other way to avoid any setbacks that mutual friends would cause.

[ccfan]

. I ended up deleting the ex's friend and anybody else who I knew through her off facebook a couple weeks later. You should probably delete her friends numbers off your phone.

 

I know that when I got dumped I consiered her to be dumping my family/friends and me losing her family/friends at the same time. Some people may find that immature but there's no other way to avoid any setbacks that mutual friends would cause.

 

Thats great advice silver, thanks so much brother.. Yes, i too think the same that even when mutual friends try to be neutral and nice it won´t work at the end... i deleted them from my phone, but they still have mine so now and then they write and by the way they write i know who is it even when all that shows in my cel is a random cel number. Today three friends of her (two girls and a dude) texted me to say hello and asked me for coffee sometime to catch up, they are nice i guess but i feel i cannot do the coffee thing because i don´t want to end up telling them that their beloved friend is a mean, frivolous person...

 

Your second paragraph it´s So stop on.... i too think the second that she made the decision of dumping me it´s like a little divorce were everyone take their share and dissapear from the other... of course she would love to have a hippie peace and love thing going on were i´m her best friend, wich is nothing more than our exes trying to control us even when the relationship is over.

 

 

I´m reading this amazing book in spanish, it´s supposed to be one of those "get your ex back" books, but turns out that the author says some really important stuff´about getting her out of the pedestal... one line that is stuck in my mind:

 

There´s nothing that you ex had that you won´t find in another person...nothing at all is unique about her

Edited April 5, 2011 by ccfan

[silvermane187]

Maybe you can reconnect with those mutual friends in the coming years when you've healed enough. Stick to your own loyal friends for now. Lucky for me I didn't have any true mutual friends with my ex. I actually disliked 90% of her friends. The only one I liked was the friend that messaged me asking for advice. It's funny, I told her to go talk to my ex about stuff like that. Her response? "I don't want to talk to her, she seems so happy and blahblahblah" How's that for a kick to my nuts. My ex's best friend would rather talk to me about a breakup than my ex.

 

I get what you're saying with that quote, but while no single thing about her is unique, I felt the combination of her qualities is very rare. While I'm not anywhere near ready to begin dating I always compare every girl I meet to my ex and none of them have even come close so far. I know I'm young and have lots of time to find someone else but I don't think I'll ever luck out and find a girl with all of the qualities I look for where there is also a deep mutual connection like we had.

 

With that being said I don't think I ever had her on a pedistal. I was always realistic about her bad qualities and am very aware of how badly she treated me by not even attempting to communicate her issues with the relationship over the last year. If we tried to work them out and she still felt like dumping me I probably wouldn't have such anger towards her. She pulled the classic "you don't spend enough time with me" line during the first mini breakup, I fixed that by spending hours a week just traveling to see her. Then 3-4 months later the classic "i feel trapped" line during the final break up. Instead of bringing up these feelings when they came up she would only mention them once or twice in a passing conversation months before.

 

Of course I blame myself for the lack of communication as well, but at least I was always willing to work it out. I would have done anything within reason to make this girl happy. Being told that nothing would make a difference without even trying is a big hell of a hit to ones self esteem. The worst part was having total faith in her then having her tell me she never realy loved me during the 3 years we were together. How ****ed up do you have to be to spend 3 years with someone that you don't love? Clearly self awareness is not one of her better qualities. It going to be a LONG time, if EVER, that I trust someone like I trusted her, and that's ****ing sad. It's like an adult version of finding out santa claus isn't real. No wonder there is so much war and hate in the world. You can't even truly trust the ones you are closest with.

 

On to something positive. I went to the gym yesterday for the first time in a week. It's crazy how out of shape you can get after being lazy for such a short period. I had no issues with my knee. I won't have time to go the next 2 nights so I'm expecting to get my ass kicked next time I go on thursday. I've also decided to lend my older sister 20k for her investment property downtown. I'm very proud of what she has accomplished in her life so far and didn't hesistate to offer her the money she needed to get the rental house off the ground. It feels good to be useful to somebody after being pretty much worthless for the past 6 months.

 

Anyway I'm going to rate today as another 5/10. That's all for my morning rant.

[ccfan]

Hey silver... every post you sound like you are getting a little better and better, even if you don´t feel like that you are giving me that vibe wich means that internally you are slowly healing.

 

See what i mean: you are a young guy and you already hace 20k to borrow to your sister (very cool move btw) not every 22 y/o i know has that kind of money to give to a relative, granted, i live in Latin America and that is a huge number here.. but i´m missing my point: my point is that you obviously are a good guy, family oriented, doing financially well while this girl made you believe in every inch of your body that you were not worthy and impliying that she could do better.... fu%$ that! You (and hopefully me) WILL find a girl that values what you have to offer and sooner or later this girl with her "ass" photo on twitter or whatever will be another other person problem, and you´ll be happy believe me. Once again i´m also destroyed just like you are but in time we´ll see things as they really are.

 

I agree that you feel (like i do with my ex) that the connection is unique and that the combination of quialitys is very rare, but at the core of tis statement you need to realize that those feelings were mostly from you to her, and not so much viceversa (like in my case as well) that itself tells us that they are not as unique, that the connection was not unique and that what we felt probably only exists in our heads, not in hers. Please do keep that in mind, as her best friend told you "she´s so happy now" if she were to feel the same thing you feel for her she wouldn´t be that happy at all. Point is that we are in this boards everyday, our exes not. that´s a hard pill to swallow i know.

 

In here, well.. starting today with anti depressants (paxil) to see how will i do... Last night i coulnd´t sleep until 3am, mostly filled with angry memories of what she did to me and sesiously thought about sending her a nasty email telling her what she really is as she sees herself as a "entity of light" ... so good and pure... good thing i didn´t. i just need to let go and move on...I have a gut feeling that she´s with someone else, but i don´t intent to find out.

Edited April 5, 2011 by ccfan

[silvermane187]

Hey buddy let me start off by saying you have to be patient when it comes to anti deperssants. It takes at least a couple weeks for the pills to take full effect. They aren't like painkillers that kick in right away. Hopefully it works out for you. Obviously if you have any bad side effects you should tell your doc right away so you can try something else. Mornings are always the worst for me as well and I'm also still trying to train my brain to stop thinking about her ALL the time.

 

As for her best friend telling me she was happy..I'm pretty sure that was mostly the relief of having "freedom" at first. When I contacted her a month after the breakup she said she lost 10 pounds from being depressed, and I've heard through the grapevine a few months ago that she claims it's been really hard on her. Now obviously this only fills me with resentment...

 

But your one point about it being a mostly one sided affair is duely noted. I sometimes forget how ungrateful she was for all the things I would do for her. All the dinners, movies, the times I lent her money for rent or a trip, the times I helped her move, etc etc. I rarely remember getting so much as a thank you. I didn't expect it at the time either because she was family to me.

 

As for working out, GO DO IT. I broke NC once after working out. I was feeling good and decided to test the waters to set up a meeting. It was right before I started my new job, about 3 months after the breakup, and I asked her if she wanted to go to lunch. She said she "wasn't ready yet, maybe in a little while longer". I said ok...waited a few weeks, and well the rest is in the OP. Don't let that discourage you though. Working out at least 3 times a week will help your brain release more positive chemicals. Plus the hate or negative thoughts in your head are great fuel for pushing yourself. Just remember that contacting her will only lead to disappointment.

[MovingOn13]

Silver,

 

I can really relate to you about not communicating. Its been almost 3 months since break up and i wish we would have communicated and fixed the issues but if we didnt its because she didnt value the relationship enough and well...who wants to be in a pseudo relationship?

 

A lot of the feelings you have about the uniqueness...i think are felt by eevry dude on here.

 

What me and you have, however, i think is more one-itis than anything. Our ex's were at one point very genuine and loving people but things change and people change. We are in our early twenties bro...life begins NOW.

 

My ex was very driven, smart, attractive, loving...the works...but the college scene changed her not necessarily in a "bad" way but just in a way in which she began to lose value in what we had.

 

I dont really blame her because college is a unique experience and by dating someone you do lose a bit of freedom...and she will have to weigh the loss of me...but maybe it wasn't a loss to her at all.

 

I feel like girls like her are rare, but the truth is there are BILLIONS of women out there. Hell, in cancun during spring break i met this cool chic from penn state and we had awesome chemistry danced everynight had great banter with each other etc. I got her number and we are friends on fb.

 

A lot of what we miss in reality, given time, is the comfort. I know one of the things i miss the most is just cuddling with her before bed and feeling the warmth of her. Its cheesy as ****, but i miss that but i know a lot of the feelings we feel are related to the comfort and routine that is lost.

 

We must , however, learn from the mistakes we made ( we did, otherwise they wouldn't have left). One of the biggest lessons i learned was to never show any sense of jealousy. Women feed off that and it shows that indirectly have a way to piss you off. I wasn't over protective but towards the end of the relationship she threw **** tests at me to get desired jealous, protective reactions.

 

If my future gf ever says she is going to the club or girls night or w/e ill be like just have fun because at the end of the day there are billions of women and only one of me.

 

Give it time and stay in NC.