Update on J...

[Kamille]

I'm glad to hear it and glad you're feeling good about it.

 

Now, from past threads, your pattern goes something like this:

 

After fretting for days, you feel comforted that the object of your affection gets in touch with you. For a period of time, you allow yourself to feel good about it and to feel confident.

 

Then, usually the day after, you find a reason to get worried again. Like, that you need to lose weight, that you can't go because his friends are going to be there and you're too shy, etc etc etc.

 

Then we talk you out of it, you go on the date and from the looks of it with this guy, you actually enjoy yourself.

 

Would you say that's a fair assessment of your recent thought processes about your dating past experiences? If so, what are you going to do if you notice yourself lapsing into anxiety mode?

 

I would suggest that for now, it suffices that you recognize the pattern. Focus on simply recognizing the moment when you start to fret about xyz as the simply the effects of anxiety. Allow it, but don't take it to be "truth". Realize this is what you do to yourself and that it has no basis in reality. Deal?

[elaina]

I'm glad to hear it and glad you're feeling good about it.

 

Now, from past threads, your pattern goes something like this:

 

After fretting for days, you feel comforted that the object of your affection gets in touch with you. For a period of time, you allow yourself to feel good about it and to feel confident.

 

Then, usually the day after, you find a reason to get worried again. Like, that you need to lose weight, that you can't go because his friends are going to be there and you're too shy, etc etc etc.

 

Then we talk you out of it, you go on the date and from the looks of it with this guy, you actually enjoy yourself.

 

Would you say that's a fair assessment of your recent thought processes about your dating past experiences? If so, what are you going to do if you notice yourself lapsing into anxiety mode?

 

I would suggest that for now, it suffices that you recognize the pattern. Focus on simply recognizing the moment when you start to fret about xyz as the simply the effects of anxiety. Allow it, but don't take it to be "truth". Realize this is what you do to yourself and that it has no basis in reality. Deal?

 

Great post Kamille.

 

CI,

 

Sometimes it seems that you are only hurting yourself.

 

You'd be much happier if you put your focus off of yourself and your fears and start caring for others and just enjoying spending time with them, without being so hung up on what they might think about you.

 

You can do it. You're an amazing girl, and you can get your phobias under control.

Edited October 3, 2010 by elaina