American Women: Why some stray in marriage

[flying]

Yeah, just a little.

 

What can I say, UF? I'm sorry you're so bitter. As an American wife and mother, I don't appreciate the little jabs you feel the need to take at all of us, and I think your logic is wildly unsound. There's no point in actually trying to engage somebody in debate when they're making up statistics and presenting their subjective emotions as objective fact. I hope you feel better soon.

 

If I weren't feeling rather angry myself (what can I say, certain ubiquitous thread topics irritate me) perhaps I would have had the wherewithal to respond more empathetically, like this. Well said, Stung.

[JL Hancock]

i know what is with women who marry men from here. the men here maybe cheat on them anyway so why is it bad if women from here cheat? if men from here cheat on woman from here or not from here then they cheat on any woman. you think its okay for men only.

 

my father does not cheat and my mother does not cheat. we see not to cheat is good. if we see cheats we maybe think it is good.

 

so here men cheat and they have babys who see cheat is good. you think it is bad if woman see it good to cheat but dont look to men who teach this. you only say bad for women and they bad with babys.

 

my teacher is from here. she like her babys. my boss wife like her babys. i see woman happy with babys. i dont see men as much happy with babys. my father was happy with us. i dont see men here like my father much. i see men like my boss who want everyone where they think is best so my boss can have things how he wants. i walk by a park to work. women with babys. maybe one man but not like women. men seem like babys are bad so woman think what is good with no babys?

 

i tell you are wrong. men from here are not better in marry for born from here. here you have classes and home we dont. it is only that is better. woman here are only not better because they see you want all for you and they have classes too. so how you want is how they want and they see you cheat and think what is good with cheats? they think they went to classes too. women take care of babys and have much money from classes and good work. maybe they think you have this and want to cheat and not halp with babys so maybe its better like you are with cheats and no babys?

 

i like women here. they can do work and help with babys and take classes. my sister come here and do it. men from here want woman to do the babys. they want her to cook. they want her work too. i dont see men here to do all too if they can have a woman do it for them. i read and hear english better than i say. i hear men say things near me that are not what they say to women and i dont want to be like a lying way to my women. i want her to see i dont want cheat and it is bad for me and her in cheats not just her. I will like babys and she will see i like babys and like them too.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Truth is. Women cheat. Men cheat. Women promote cheating. And so do men. So if your want to deny that than your very naive but you really gotta ask yourself. What can I do about it? my answer. nothing. So why worry

From what i gather most women cheat because of ****ty husbands (i liked to think so). So my solution. Try not to be a ****ty husband if i ever get married and well be the best person i can be. Not only for her but for myself. Cause if im happy with myself i know i can brighten up someone elses day. But i dont intend to get married but you ne[/QUOte]

 

I already know these things.

 

I had to pay for a divorce once already and there was nothing fair about it. I paid, and paid, and paid.... for 2 years. You say "so what"? Without any kids I lost all but the most basic of possessions, and a good chunk of my income. It left me unable to really do much. I guess if you LOVE TV dinners and sitting at home its no big deal.

 

I've been cheated on twice now that I know of.... and I really enjoy it when the first thing out of someones mouth is to tell me if I were better she would not cheat. Is that really how it works?

[JL Hancock]

mangomonkey says what i want to say better.

[theBrokenMuse]

If a massive amount of people decided to leave the workforce.

Not going to happen anytime soon so speculating about it is pointless. Let's stick to reality. The reality is that you were complaining about women working and attributing it to them caring more about their careers than their families and that's a fallacious, blanketed statement because of the fact, which you agreed upon, that it takes two incomes today for most households to run.

 

I didn't make that number up. It's from a research lady... Shapiro something.

*sigh* I can find several studies with numbers all over the map. These types of studies are pretty poor in terms accuracy. They can pinpoint trends but when it comes to behaviors that are hidden by a large portion of the people engaging in them things get quite tricky. I am also not surprised if women from some other countries are shown as cheating less - the less accepting a society is, the more these behaviors are driven underground. Also, as you increase risk of loss you are going to find less people willing to engage in such behaviors as well such as women in places where you can be subjected to an honor killing for even a rumor of being seen with another man.

 

The important question is - in those countries, are the couples happier in their lives and relationships or just not acting out their unhappiness in the same manner as they sometimes do in the states? Might be a case of the same illness only with different symptoms.

 

Not really. "Bad Mother" is a really subjective term. To some the only way you can be a bad mother is to drown you kids in the tub... and even then most media here just blame the husband. (Yates)

 

Not quite sure why you are bothering to bring up that people's opinions are subjective - that's a given. What does that have to do with questioning your motivation behind the decision to write a blanketed statement about a specific group of people without any qualifiers in a forum that is populated by a large number of said people?

[Sanman]

I have a variety of thoughts about the article from a sociocultural perspective. I often feel that feminism and post-modern culture have instilled in women the worst behaviors of men rather than allowing for better behavior from both. That said UF, the rules are the same as always. Take your time and pick the person with the best character you can find, give the relationship your all, and hope for the best. There is never a guarantee and if you wait for one life will pass you by. If you are worried about the financial implications don't get married or find a really good lawyer and get a pre-nup drafted.

[allina]

I already know these things.

 

I had to pay for a divorce once already and there was nothing fair about it. I paid, and paid, and paid.... for 2 years. You say "so what"? Without any kids I lost all but the most basic of possessions, and a good chunk of my income. It left me unable to really do much. I guess if you LOVE TV dinners and sitting at home its no big deal.

 

I've been cheated on twice now that I know of.... and I really enjoy it when the first thing out of someones mouth is to tell me if I were better she would not cheat. Is that really how it works?

 

I obviously don't know anything about your history but I'm sorry that you've had such a horrible experience. Still, it irks me that instead of examining what went wrong in your relationships you turn your pain and anger on complete strangers. You're bitter so you find some article that supports your negative feelings, good for you, now what? Do you feel like your anger is more justified now?

 

Does stating that American women are bad mothers fix your past? Get any of your money back?

 

I get that people sometimes need to lash out and vent but sometimes this gets ridicules. It's the same thing over and over again; guy gets screwed over (in his opinion we don't actually know the back story), guy blames women, guy extends his bitterness at the woman in question to include all women/all American women, guy finds yahoo story/random article to support his case that American women are "low quality." :rolleyes:

[BS76]

How bitter, sad, tired and downright pathetic.

 

Lovely feminist shaming language you have there.

 

 

OP, go ahead and move to another country where the women are "quality" and get yourself one of them, and be happy.

 

Plenty of men are doing just that, looking outside our borders for more traditionally minded women. For many men they're more attactive and interesting than the crass, beer swilling, explative spewing, "empowered" career women we have today in the West.

 

There are plenty of men here in the USA who love us liberated, educated, socially active and aware, interesting, intelligent American women. Women like that would not be interested in a guy like you anyway.

 

Actually, not really. The only guys I know who are all up about the modern American princesses are ones who simply don't know any better. Those of us who have traveled around know exactly what American women are lacking, both in femininty and moral character.

 

 

By the way, a woman caring deeply about her profession and perhaps choosing to focus on that rather than breeding does not render her devoid of "quality." It also doesn't mean that she cares more for money than family. Perhaps she is dedicated to her work. Anyway, no need for you to be concerned about women like that; again, you don't like them and they certainly wouldn't take a second look at you.

 

Settling down with a career woman is incompaitible with being family focused and raising kids. There's only so many hours in the day. Ask any single mother who thought she could "do it all". Often times they realize they were sold a lie. It's "feminisms terrible blunder".

Edited September 14, 2010 by BS76

[Stung]

If I weren't feeling rather angry myself (what can I say, certain ubiquitous thread topics irritate me) perhaps I would have had the wherewithal to respond more empathetically, like this. Well said, Stung.

 

Thanks, flying. I have chosen to try to not let LS push any of my buttons--it's not a wise investment of my time and energy. We'll see how long I can maintain the equilibrium .

[meerkat stew]

Lovely feminist shaming language you have there.

 

So predictable and so stale, right? Laughable that so many of them parrot the exact same things over and over whenever any opinion that is not glowingly affirming of women is raised, yet somehow this universal "fem-speak" doesn't justify even a -little- generalization of women in and of itself? at least of the ones who resort to these "un-tactics" in discussion? I mean it's not like we can't predict with near absolute certainty what the next thing they say is going to be, why can't we also predict other behavior or qualities to a degree?

 

FFS so many of them say the EXACT SAME THINGS OVER AND OVER AND OVER. Men don't do this! Women my mother's age don't do this (eh maybe some)! Cool, interesting women don't do this! It's only this "borg collective" subset of indoctrinees into victim politics who have been brainwashed that merely pointing out a generality is in and of itself a valid argument who resort to this lazy repetition. Got news for you ladies... merely pointing out the existence of a generality does not make your case!

 

Or rather, here's a generality, "women have vaginas." Plain statement, not too controversial. Pretty much the case, right? YET IT'S A GENERALITY. Or perhaps some of the fembots want to challenge that, "How do you know women have vaginas, are you a woman? have you met every single woman on earth? how dare you characterize an entire gender!"

 

The real hilarity is that they will not hesitate to sop up positive generalizations about women as if they are gospel til the cows come home, no matter how slanted or bogus the source. No matter how ridiculous or harebrained the statement, if it's positive, it must be true. Have heard so many make glowingly positive "characterizations about an entire gender, their own," and in the very next breath decry someone else for doing the exact same thing, just negatively. I couldn't make this stuff up! :lmao:

 

For an example of the universally accepted positive generalization, "Women are better at verbal skills," the old trite consolation prize fabrication for why women don't seem to give a hoot about math or hard sciences. Absolute fiction. What percentage of great novelists are women? What percentage of great poets? movie script writers? lexicographers? linguists? language teachers? If women were indeed "more verbal" than men, wouldn't most of these occupations and avocations be running at least 50/50 women or higher? After all, women have certainly gotten a stranglehold on teaching and marketing rapidly, why not verbal skill professions? So make -that- kind of positive generality, even though it is completely groundless (outside the world of gender norming, politicized standardized tests) and where is the moral outrage about generalization? about being objectified? (the crickets chirp, cattle low in the distance, a tumbleweed rolls aimlessly down the street)

 

If it's a negative generalization, crank up the scratchy, popping, hissing femspeak broken record no matter how true we all know the generalization to be. If it's a positive generalization, accept it merrily as gospel truth. Got how that works, guys?

 

And to add a corollary, merely drawing attention to such logical deficits in fembot femspeak means that you "hate" women, not merely that you hate retard-level bad logic and obvious political manipulation, but that you actually hate women, all women and the funny thing is that conclusion, that you hate women merely from making a generalization about them, is A MUCH BIGGER AND MORE BOGUS GENERALIZATION BEING USED AGAINST YOU THAN THE ONE YOU MADE TO BEGIN WITH! :lmao: Yet that escapes their shriveled, brainwashed minds somehow. Again, couldn't make this stuff up. Truth is indeed stranger than fiction where feminist borg-parrots are concerned.

 

And my response to "you just hate women," is "how do you know I hate women? are you me? how dare you generalize like that? have I met every woman in the world in order to hate them? how dare you characterize me and objectify me as a mere "woman hater?" :lmao:

[MrNate]

C'mon man, men stray too. People and marriages are dynamic. You can't predict the behavior of each down the road. All you can do is hope for the best. People stray for different reasons, but I feel like if people were more honest with themselves, then we wouldn't be seeing nearly as many divorces/marriages to begin with.

 

Women and men expect love and attention in a marriage. When kids enter the picture, it becomes a bit harder, but it is totally possible. There's a lot of committed wives out there who do an awesome job everyday helping to take care of her family. And there's a grateful father who appreciates his wife for her hard work everyday. And vice versa.

 

I really don't think we can chalk up the propensity of one gender to cheat in some random article.

[meerkat stew]

This response will be more topical.

 

The "Newspeak" (isn't that AMAZING) article is a puff piece that actually seeks to justify female cheating with the same old feminist double standard applied to cheating that we have all seen here and elsewhere in profusion:

 

If he cheated, it's due to... his flaws.

 

If she cheated, it's due to ... his flaws.

 

See the razor logic there? It can be expanded generally to document the utter refusal of 20th-21st century American women to accept ANY accountability for their actions,

 

If he does anything wrong... it's his fault.

 

If she does anything wrong... it's his fault.

 

I read the entire article. Can you imagine the difference in tenor of an article written in Newspeak concerning male cheating? The broken homes, wailing children, and suicides that would be trotted out,

 

"Where's daddy, mommy, I is so scared"

 

"Sweetie, daddy is off with his other mommies spending your college fund because he doesn't love us any more." :lmao:

 

Imagine the bogus stats that would be in such an article. Male cheating costs the taxpayer $650 billion dollars per year, more than social security, more than medicare, more than the war on Iraq!

 

The subtext and tone of the article is not, "female cheating is on the rise and here are the social costs," but rather "female cheating is on the rise, and we haven't quiiiiiite massaged it into being your god given right to cheat yet, but we are doing pretty good at shifting the blame for female cheating entirely to men... give us a few more years and we should be able to get a MRNWA (male refusal to meet the "needs" of woman act) through congress that will give you the constitutional right to cheat at will with no accountability or repercussions whatsoever. YOU HAVE THAT NOW, we just haven't gotten it in writing yet. Until then, we will continue to write articles that attempt to normalize female cheating that will stand in contrast to other articles that condemn male cheaters as the very antichrist. Please be patient."

[Mme. Chaucer]

Plenty of men are doing just that, looking outside our borders for more traditionally minded women. For many men they're more attactive and interesting than the crass, beer swilling, explative spewing, "empowered" career women we have today in the West.

 

I KNOW! My brother is one of them! He purchased an exquisite 25 year old single mother from Peru (he is 50). Truly, she is one of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen. Now, in addition to her 7 year old son, they have an adorable baby.

 

A modest inheritance enabled him to make this splurge. Previously, he was your basic bitter guy interested in blaming his lack of happiness and success in his life (and his ability to even hold down a basic job) on his mother, sisters and ex wife.

 

I sincerely hope he is happy, but I am a little concerned at the rate he has been blowing through money and what the result of that will be upon his wife, who gratefully married a "rich" American.

 

Anyway, sounds like you, the OP and my bro are all very similar types of guys, and I hope you can save up for a mail order bride or to travel. Good, empowered American women (I don't know about the beer-swilling, crass, "explative" spewing princesses to whom you refer) don't appreciate guys like you any more than you do us, so it's all good.

[flying]

beer swilling .... modern American princesses

 

:lmao:

 

Just wondering...is one who swills beer lacking in femininity or is it more about moral character?

[Mad Max]

Cheating isn't limited to either gender and Americans in general don't have a good reputation around the world. Even many Canadians don't think highly of Americans and this is coming from a Québecer.

[meerkat stew]

nevermindnevermind, not going to play the "American-baiting" game in a thread that is purportedly about female cheating and responses to an article about female cheating that has nothing to do with nationality.

Edited September 14, 2010 by meerkat stew
never mind

[GorillaTheater]

He purchased an exquisite 25 year old single mother from Peru (he is 50). Truly, she is one of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen.

 

So what are hot Peruvian babes going for these days?

[SteveC80]

What stood out in this article was the glaring lack of accountability these women displayed. They lament their husbands are inattentive or not affectionate thus they had to cheat, but did they give their husbands the same attention they do to their lovers now before straying? No remorse or responsibility for their horrible choices was shown - its simply "Well, I do what I want and damn the consequences".

 

Maybe their husbands feel the same way about their marriages - when was the last time "Marisol" paid her husband a compliment? I know there are men that are guilty of the same offenses, but that old idea "if the man cheats, he is a dog, but if the woman strays, its the husbands fault" is pure fiction these days.

 

If u know anyhting about relationships none of its about the Man its about the womens wants needs deisres insecurities etc

 

Youre there to be her shrink

[that girl]

I had to pay for a divorce once already

So you're divorced and bitter. Big shocker.

 

Lovely [COLOR=#990000]feminist shaming language [/COLOR]you have there.

Please. If someone started a thread about how all men are trash they would be shamed too. This kind of behavior is not acceptable.

 

FFS so many of them say the EXACT SAME THINGS OVER AND OVER AND OVER. Men don't do this! Women my mother's age don't do this (eh maybe some)! Cool, interesting women don't do this! It's only this "borg collective" subset of indoctrinees into victim politics who have been brainwashed that merely pointing out a generality is in and of itself a valid argument who resort to this lazy repetition. Got news for you ladies... merely pointing out the existence of a generality does not make your case!

And the exact same thing happens when someone makes generalizations about men, except man hating generalizations are much rarer on this site than women hating generalizations.

[EasyHeart]

This thread is making me hate men --- and I am one!

[Woggle]

I obviously don't know anything about your history but I'm sorry that you've had such a horrible experience. Still, it irks me that instead of examining what went wrong in your relationships you turn your pain and anger on complete strangers. You're bitter so you find some article that supports your negative feelings, good for you, now what? Do you feel like your anger is more justified now?

 

Does stating that American women are bad mothers fix your past? Get any of your money back?

 

I get that people sometimes need to lash out and vent but sometimes this gets ridicules. It's the same thing over and over again; guy gets screwed over (in his opinion we don't actually know the back story), guy blames women, guy extends his bitterness at the woman in question to include all women/all American women, guy finds yahoo story/random article to support his case that American women are "low quality." :rolleyes:

 

Women do the same thing to men and just because a man does not want to be betrayed does not mean he is afraid of strong women.

[TaurusTerp]

From personal experience, americans do seem to have a much higher sense of entitlement than people anywhere else.

[OliveOyl]

I don't get the point of this thread.

 

Except a bunch of people seem randomly angry at "American women/moms."

 

Okay, so?

 

Nothing much you can do about it anyway, regardless of its veracity.

 

<shrugs>

[Anela]

This simply isn't true. Male, and many female LS posters know instinctively that a generalization isn't "about them," isn't leveled "at them." It's only a subset of thoroughly brainwashed and indoctrinated fembots here who rage and refuse to discuss the actual issues.

 

There is a thread right now, generally and SPECIFICALLY insulting (by NAME!) male LS posters, that continues unmoderated despite that the OP is cram-packed full of lies about what men actually post here. What do you think would happen if a male poster made a post that identified and insulted female LS posters BY NAME?! I know EXACTLY what would happen. What do you think would happen if a male poster made an OP full of lies about what female posters post here? I know exactly what would happen.

 

It's about time for another "penis thread," by a female poster claiming she can't help it but just loves well hung guys. Do men get in an uproar over these threads? NO, we play along, make jokes about it even.

 

It's a certain subset of female posters here who run around like an angry pack of peasants looking for Frankenstein to burn, not men.

 

I have news for you. This is a dating forum, and so by definition a place for posters to rant and generalize about their frustrations with the opposite sex. It's the nature of the beast. Don't like it? Tough.

 

It's threads like this that are the reason for that thread. Did the woman who claimed to love well-hung men, say that *all* women only loved well-hung men? Did other women chime in and say that it was true, and that most of you wouldn't see them for dust, if a more well-endowed stud came along?

[theBrokenMuse]

I don't get the point of this thread.

The point of this thread was to stir the pot. Threads like this one should not even be allowed as they do nothing other than create a bad atmosphere on the forums.