Falling for a women with not such a hot body :(

[sally4sara]

I would have the same stance with this guy if he was upset that the girl was a smoker.

 

Let's jut say the first two dates he doesn't notice she is a smoker, or the date is so short that she doesn't "need to go out" for one.

(In quotations because no one "needs" a smoke.)

 

Then the third date he finds out she is a smoker and it disgusts him, he doesn't want to pursue a relationship with a smoker, finds it unhealthy, unattractive etc.

 

Yet he goes to bed with her anyways and posts up a thread about "falling for a smoker "

 

I would say that he is leading her on and that is not fair, she has the choice to smoke of not smoke without someone playing with her heart that way, regardless of how she has treated herself.

 

Great analogy!

[silic0ntoad]

Good. I hope that's the message I'm putting out there.

 

They are out there, you know, and some women even LISTEN to them! You just have to learn how to weed out the crazies.

 

 

 

Awwww, you're very sweet. But I won't blow your image.

 

 

Well you're doing a good job of portraying the right image, that's for sure. And yeah, I know they're out there....lol...

 

Hey now, blown image, I think I did that to myself speaking my praise to you instead of being an ignorant ass about it in public

 

Either way, I still think this dude is right to have preferences, but you SHOULD cut her loose. It's not fair to either of you.

[donnamaybe]

Either way, I still think this dude is right to have preferences, but you SHOULD cut her loose. It's not fair to either of you.

 

This I agree with. Everyone has a right to their likes and dislikes. But he should stop using her for sex.

[Jersey Shortie]

Let's all remember this thread for when the next "gold-digger" thread comes up when some average joe pulling 50k a year thinks some woman is after his money and how shallow women are.

[phineas]

Let's all remember this thread for when the next "gold-digger" thread comes up when some average joe pulling 50k a year thinks some woman is after his money and how shallow women are.

 

50k really isn't that much if you own a home & pay the property taxes & city utilities where I live.

 

Besides, we've got a pro football & hockey team.

All the gold diggers are waiting in line for their shot at college kid making more money than he knows what to do with. LOL!

[donnamaybe]

50k really isn't that much if you own a home & pay the property taxes & city utilities where I live.

 

That's why she called him "average joe," but I really wish this thread hadn't gone in this direction.

[phineas]

That's why she called him "average joe," but I really wish this thread hadn't gone in this direction.

 

I didn't steer here & I was trying to be light hearted about it also.

 

for the thread, if the woman can rock my world sexually & isn't obese I'm happy.

 

Most of my GF's were 5'2" to 5'4" and anywhere from 100lbs to 140lbs.

some had a little belly but I really didn't care.

 

for me it comes down to how naughty they are in bed.

[donnamaybe]

I didn't steer here & I was trying to be light hearted about it also.

I know.

 

for the thread, if the woman can rock my world sexually & isn't obese I'm happy.

 

Most of my GF's were 5'2" to 5'4" and anywhere from 100lbs to 140lbs.

some had a little belly but I really didn't care.

 

for me it comes down to how naughty they are in bed.

 

Now THIS is an attitude I can TOTALLY get behind - or beside - or... Anyway, I LIKE it!

[OpenGL]

I know.

 

 

 

Now THIS is an attitude I can TOTALLY get behind - or beside - or... Anyway, I LIKE it!

 

Well, thats pretty much the stats I stated, so I'm not that bad afterall (I know it wasn't you that was calling me a hypocrite, I'm just saying).

[Els]

Just to prove my point though, by MEDICAL standards, at least 2 girls in that pic are overweight.

 

Okay, hotshot, let's see the facts to back up the claims. Which two girls are you talking about, what do you guess their height and weight is, and by which medical standards are you classifying them as overweight?

[Rorschach]

50k really isn't that much if you own a home & pay the property taxes & city utilities where I live.

 

Besides, we've got a pro football & hockey team.

All the gold diggers are waiting in line for their shot at college kid making more money than he knows what to do with. LOL!

 

50k isn't alot where ANYBODY lives...

[donnamaybe]

Okay, hotshot, let's see the facts to back up the claims. Which two girls are you talking about, what do you guess their height and weight is, and by which medical standards are you classifying them as overweight?

 

I wouldn't call any of those girls "overweight." Thick maybe, but not overweight. They all look good, IMO.

[VertexSquared]

In absence of things like student loans, you can live comfortably off 50k.

[Rorschach]

In absence of things like student loans, you can live comfortably off 50k.

 

I'm a financial advisor, I sit down with people who make 50k. Can a SINGLE person with NO KIDS, live comfortably on 50k if they have little to no debt? Yes quite handly.

 

Can you raise a family on 50k? Not really.

 

The biggest problem to finances tends to be debt anyway. A person who makes 50k with no (READ ZERO, NO EXCEPTIONS) debt lives a life of somebody who makes 75k-100k with a average debt load.

 

But no, one man making 50k doesn't count as 'good money' now a couple who both make 50k or a single guy making 50k and only supporting himself, is a different story.

 

Even so 50k isn't going to go that far, comfortable sure, but it's not setting the world on fire.

[SilentVoice]

In absence of things like student loans, you can live comfortably off 50k.

Also with the absence of kids, car(car insurance will kill ) , family , activities, gym membership , an active social life-- then just maybe that can happen. (I am referring to NYC ,since I am not familiar with anywhere else)

[sweetjasmine]

Sure. I guess Diabetes is a lie? Or heart disease? Or fatty liver disease?

 

And you can tell which women in that Dove campaign picture are at risk for which diseases...how?

 

A person who's 10 pounds overweight but still exercises regularly is in better health than someone who's naturally thin but sits on their butt all day long. A thin person with a family history of heart disease who runs excessively every single day is at higher risk for a heart attack than a slightly chunky person without a family history of heart disease who jogs once a week.

 

You can't really judge health by appearance a lot of the time, and being a little overweight isn't a death sentence.

[Els]

I wouldn't call any of those girls "overweight." Thick maybe, but not overweight. They all look good, IMO.

 

Precisely. Which is why I'm so interested in his answer. It's one thing to say someone 'looks fat', but if one wishes to claim someone is 'overweight by MEDICAL standards', he'd best have some medical knowledge handy.

[donnamaybe]

Men don't have the luxury of dumping someone who is adequately attractive and has a good personality over a small reason like that, only women can. .

 

Problem is, this guy plans to dump her as soon as something "better" comes along. Until then, he's using her for sex.

[marsle85]

On the note of pics of average guys, my avatar is a pic of me, I consider myself average.

 

So yeah, I am average guy.

 

 

You're on the outskirts of average. And just because our views of "average" for men are much more lenient than for women- does not mean you're in the clear.

 

 

I guess when I first met her it was just to kill time until my ex gf decided to go back with me or I found someone else (can u say rebound?), but as I got to know her I got to like her. No, I don't have problems attracting women lol, and no I don't have a body builder body, b ut guys are generally more picky and hold higher standards dan women when it comes to physical attraction.

 

I just feel kinda bad bc she reallyyyyy likes me, but she has a higher mileage dan I would really like long term.

 

Douche for being picky? What does dat make womenout to b? Women are far worse dan guys!! And some are extremely far worst! Lol

 

Oh and what's wrong with a boob job? Not self esteem loll. Give me a medical source that says that. How about a woman dat wants to look sexy and can afford it?

 

Make a decision. Are women "far worse dan guys"? If you can honestly say women are worse than men, you're insane- and I'm done posting. You know very well men carry much higher standards.

 

Are you seriously asking me for a medical source that reflect women who pursue plastic surgery have lower self esteem? Really? Don't make me waste my time, because again- it doesn't take a genius to understand the correlation.

[USMCHokie]

Men don't have the luxury of dumping someone who is adequately attractive and has a good personality over a small reason like that, only women can. Everyone's got a vice or "flaw", I'm a smoker myself so I actually prefer a woman smoke so I don't have to hear the nagging about something I enjoy doing. I don't like women with nose and tongue piercings, I think they are stupid and gross, but if she likes me, looks ok, and has a good personality, it's not a deal breaker by any means.

 

People need to realize that having stupid little deal breakers like this are a great way to go nowhere fast with your dating life, especially if you're a man since its far more difficult to meet desirable women. If a lonely guy dumps a woman for smoking, or liking to have a few drinks, or not having a great job, or piercings, etc, he deserves to be lonely. Hell I am so tolerant that I would even date a woman with a kid (as long as she genuinely liked me and wasn't just looking for a meal ticket).

 

 

Indeed...and guys like you would rather settle with someone they don't really care for and use them until the next best thing comes along...all because you don't want to be "lonely"...I understand that the less desirable of men will hold onto anyone that is interested in them...much like the less desirable women would...

 

But things like smoking or obesity or poor personal health habits are not minor "stupid little dealbreakers"...they are a significant reflection of a person's character and personality...hardly a small flaw like piercings...

[LucreziaBorgia]

I started going out with this woman, very pretty face, recent boob job, but she isn't very slim ... defintely can't wear a bikini, she says she's getting a tummy tuck later this year... uggh, but everything is else is fine with her, partying, we click, sex is good... but not the slim type ...

 

WTF.... anyone in that situation? I could just dump her... but we do have a good time together...

 

You may as well let her go. I've been with men who fell in love with me but I wasn't 'their type' or they simply weren't attracted to my body. It hurts to be with someone who is with you in spite of your body - you can tell with subtle things, with affectionate things, and so on. Now that I'm with someone who is attracted to my body AND is in love with me, I can see how much better it is this way. It works both ways. I suspect you will both be better off with partners more suited for each other.

[dreamingoftigers]

Men don't have the luxury of dumping someone who is adequately attractive and has a good personality over a small reason like that, only women can. Everyone's got a vice or "flaw", I'm a smoker myself so I actually prefer a woman smoke so I don't have to hear the nagging about something I enjoy doing. I don't like women with nose and tongue piercings, I think they are stupid and gross, but if she likes me, looks ok, and has a good personality, it's not a deal breaker by any means.

 

People need to realize that having stupid little deal breakers like this are a great way to go nowhere fast with your dating life, especially if you're a man since its far more difficult to meet desirable women. If a lonely guy dumps a woman for smoking, or liking to have a few drinks, or not having a great job, or piercings, etc, he deserves to be lonely. Hell I am so tolerant that I would even date a woman with a kid (as long as she genuinely liked me and wasn't just looking for a meal ticket).

 

so even though he's not into her, he should still use her?

 

Why is this especially if you are a man? that confuses me, it is much easier for a guy to enter into a relationship then a woman if he wants to

[harmfulsweetz]

Why an ass? B/C I have standards?

 

 

Standards? Sorry, but just because she doesn't fit the requirements, doesn't mean she's not acceptable or whatever. If you like her, for her, why let it bother you? Since it does, enough for you to make a thread about it, I would split. Let her find someone that appreciates her for who she is, not just for certain aspects. And you find someone that meets your standards.

[harmfulsweetz]

You guys are ridiculous. I love it!

 

Whenever I read one of these threads, it's always the guy being bashed for not wanting the overweight chick.

 

Look, I understand superficial wants and realistic needs are two seperate realms, but you are wrong to call the guy an ass. Every time I see one of these threads you clowns pour onto the guy, claiming him to be shallow, and then throwing lines like "You prolly make no money" or "You're no greek statue either."

 

WE ALL deserve partners that care about us; but to care about US they need to care about themselves first, and if she isn't willing to go and lose weight by actually trying to lose weight, and instead resort to plastic surgery because of her innate laziness, then she deserves to have the body she earned and be disregarded by guys who don't date girls with overweight or obese frames.

 

Calling this guy an ass just shows how messed up the logic is everyone uses. We have to pity the poor fat girl because her guy left her for the skinny girl down the street. Riiight. Take care of yourself and this won't happen.

 

 

Erm, it's totally ok to actively not date overweight people. Absolutely a person's choice, and their right to have it so. It is NOT ok to date someone who does not meet your 'standards', have sex with them, and then bemoan their weight, and what they lack for you. Sorry, but that is not right. You either accept a person and appreciate a person 100% for who they are, or you don't. You can't say well, I like this, and this and this, but this and this and this have got to go, or I'm out. Especially if the weight thing was present when you initially started dating the chick.

[USMCHokie]

I could use a bit more bulk, but trust me you wouldn't say that if you saw my arms. I was considering posting a pic last night but I dropped the idea. Maybe I should reconsider.

 

 

This thread is useless without pics.