SoulSearch_CO Posted November 7, 2009 Share Posted November 7, 2009 Hmm. It wouldn't honestly bother me. I don't understand why every little action by the other party on the date has to be sorted, analyzed, weighed...things so freaking insignificant supposedly tell you something about how this person is as a whole person. Please. Link to post Share on other sites
Vertex Posted November 7, 2009 Share Posted November 7, 2009 I think it's just another example of overweighting a red flag. Red flags are meant to be taken in context -- something to hint at some deeper problem or behavior. This red flag is so minor that it's just far too early to make any definitive conclusions about what that red flag would indicate. Hell, even as a red flag, it's debatable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BWLoca Posted November 7, 2009 Author Share Posted November 7, 2009 The date is Saturday night...I'll make sure to post about it =0) Link to post Share on other sites
EcstasyX6 Posted November 7, 2009 Share Posted November 7, 2009 dude.. I'm 46.. I'm living in my fantasy world and have been for many years... It isn't about saving money.. I save money and so does my wife.. but I can tell you that if I had pulled out the gift card before my first date with my wife I wouldn't have gotten to the second date.. That Son.. is real world.. The rules have definitely changed. Art, I'm in your age group, and for us and older generations, a man taking out his wallet and paying was almost imperative as a way for him to demonstrate, 'I have enough means to provide for you", and he would have looked weak or like a punk if he didn't. Now, because most women are working, the roles have changed. Many(note I said many and not all) young men don't see money as a way to prove their manliness, and are not at all offended, and some even expect a woman to pay for a date sometimes, because why not, she's getting a check just like me. Women are providing for themselves. However, what I see as a problem is lack of thoughtfulness. No matter who's paying, you should never act as if I'm doing you a favor by spending my hard earned money on you. This is a person that you want to spend time with and get to know isn't it? If you're just bored and goofing around, don't waste their time. Go out with a buddy instead. If you ask a person out, either sex, I find it unnecessary to even mention how you're paying, your goal is that he or she spends their valuable time with you because you want this person to be a part of your life. You should be making some effort to impress them no matter how much money you have to spend, and give it a few minutes of consideration about doing something special, whether in your mind it's Outback, stargazing, or picnicking,etc . I mean, damn, men and women, don't even bring up that you have a gift card. It's so beside the point of everything. Sigh. i.e. You ask someone out on a picnic. You don't say, I thought I'd ask you out, because I got this wine from my Mom's liquor cabinet, the cheese I pulled from an office party gift basket, and the basket was on sale 1/2 price at blah blah store. Isn't that great /wonderful? No, just pull it together, make it look good, and the girl or guy never has to know that you barely spent a dime! He or she will happy and appreciate your thoughtfulness. For a first date with someone you like, make and impression. BW-Good luck! I hope you have fun. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted November 7, 2009 Share Posted November 7, 2009 Oh god... The same people that think the gift card is okay are the same ones that say a woman should pay her half of a date.. I've been on LS a while and have seen many of these type odf threads and posts.. You can look confused all you want but the message is clear as a bell to me.. No. I think men should pay on first dates, and I think that a gift card is fine. I love Outback, btw - really like their chopped bleu cheese salad for some reason. And their bleu cheese crowned filet. And eating there isn't cheap for a lot of people; it ain't Morton's, but it ain't Golden Corral, either.) Let's see - I use my Discover card money to buy restaurant gift cards all the time for me to use. I also used "my brother gave me hockey tickets" to ask a guy out on a date before. I dated a guy whose sub-contractors used to give him gift cards all the time for Christmas gifts, and he would use them for dinner. What's the big deal? No wonder there are so many questions on LS about dating and intentions and "OMG what do I do??" situations - no one has the common sense to just relax and HAVE FUN with someone who asks you out to get to know you better. OP, if the way someone asks you out bothers you, then politely decline at the get-go. Don't go eat on his dime, and then complain about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted November 7, 2009 Share Posted November 7, 2009 Not at all. Why would you buy a gift card for yourself? Chances are this was a gift from someone else, which makes this equivalent to re-gifting. I buy gift cards for myself all the time off Discover. I use my Discover card for all my travel expenses. I can get a $50 Outback card for $45, a $50 Banana Republic for $40, a $50 Crabtree and Evelyn card for $25. Re-gifting. Pffft. Give me a break. He is USING it. If my mom gives me a case of wine for Christmas and I open a bottle when my BF comes over, am I re-gifting it? Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted November 7, 2009 Share Posted November 7, 2009 Exactly. If somebody had given him $50 in cash and he paid with that, is that cheap too? If my company gives me $800 a week and I pay with that, am I cheap then, too? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BWLoca Posted November 7, 2009 Author Share Posted November 7, 2009 Eh, the date's been postponed to next weekend. Oh well... Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted November 7, 2009 Share Posted November 7, 2009 Eh, the date's been postponed to next weekend. Oh well... Maybe he decided to go out with someone who didn't find him tacky Link to post Share on other sites
Author BWLoca Posted November 7, 2009 Author Share Posted November 7, 2009 Maybe he decided to go out with someone who didn't find him tacky Was that really necessary? Link to post Share on other sites
BG1985 Posted November 7, 2009 Share Posted November 7, 2009 If my company gives me $800 a week and I pay with that, am I cheap then, too? You're not being cheap when you use money which you've earned through your labor. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted November 7, 2009 Share Posted November 7, 2009 You're not being cheap when you use money which you've earned through your labor. So what if the gift card was like a Christmas bonus or something from work? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 7, 2009 Share Posted November 7, 2009 Eh, the date's been postponed to next weekend. Oh well... That's good information which has nothing to do with gift cards. Did the gentleman share a reason for the re-schedule? Link to post Share on other sites
Left in a Lurch Posted November 7, 2009 Share Posted November 7, 2009 So if a guy is being cheap or tacky paying with a giftcard, what does that make the girl for mooching a free dinner? Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted November 7, 2009 Share Posted November 7, 2009 What about the sentiment of him asking her out, who cares if they go for a walk in the park or for a 4 star meal, he wants to spend time with her, that should be special enough. Obviously she likes him or she would not have said yes he can't be all that bad..... Going out to dinner will give her a chance to get to know him a little better, sometimes people not just women care about material things and not the person that they will be spending time with...he can impress her in other ways like opening the door for him, holding her hand, the way that he treats her and if it gets to that point him love making skills... Link to post Share on other sites
DustySaltus Posted November 7, 2009 Share Posted November 7, 2009 That's good information which has nothing to do with gift cards. Did the gentleman share a reason for the re-schedule? It expired on 10/31, he double checked it this morning Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 7, 2009 Share Posted November 7, 2009 LOL, good one Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 So if a guy is being cheap or tacky paying with a giftcard, what does that make the girl for mooching a free dinner? LMFAO - so freaking true. "I want you to treat ME to a free dinner, but it had BETTER cost you some money, you cheap bastard." Link to post Share on other sites
dave22 Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 Definitely cheap and in poor taste. It's fine to do with a friend or perhaps once you have been dating for a while and he knows you wouldn't mind. But never on a first date. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 lmfao - so freaking true. "i want you to treat me to a free dinner, but it had better cost you some money, you cheap bastard." lololol!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
jw90063 Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 Wouldn't it be funny, if that guy somehow googled "using gift cards on dates", and the link to this thread came up. He starts reading and realizes its regarding him and his gift card. He would be like wow, just wow. Screw it. The thing is I had googled something about gift cards on dates, and loveshack was first to come up. Link to post Share on other sites
Skump Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 ROFL. Wake up. If an otherwise desirable and attractive guy wants to go grab a bite with you and uses a gift card at decent establishment as part of the pretext, take the offer. To be sure, it's not material for Casanova II, but it could be an entirely good-hearted gesture by an otherwise terrific person. At the worst, you have a free meal and you're out of a bit of time. Holy moley, you'd think this were a late 1800s St. Petersburg salon patronized by loaded Romanov dynasty heirs. Some people around here have an amusingly inflated sense of their own meagre value. I predict that for a few in the peanut gallery, the day is not long off when the foregoing scenario will seem mighty attractive indeed. Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 I wouldn't mind. He's still paying for it, isn't he? I hate men paying for me at the best of times, so yeah. It would ridiculous for him to take you to a restaurant, and pay in cash, when he has a gift card to go to that restaurant! What would be the point? Jeez, if you're that shallow, I'd think he shouldn't want to spend his gift card on you. Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 Actually, it sounds like he asked her out in a nice way ok, fair enough, but its a nerve wracking thing asking someone out whatever the age, finding an excuse to do so makes it all the more easy. Christ, it's a blinking gift card! GET OVER IT. Shallow. Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted November 8, 2009 Share Posted November 8, 2009 I don't see an issue with using a gift card on a first date. The problem was mentioning the gift card when asking the girl out- makes it seem like a coupon. Now you are 'locked' into that location. What if there is a line-up when you get there. No room to manoever. Here is a BIG faux pas: Invite girl on dinner date, drink a lot and leave her with the whole bill. Happened to me once. The bill came, he got up, stretched, said "money's tight" and ambled off to the bathroom for 15 minutes. I paid the bill while he was in the bathroom. What a great story - I love telling it. I was a student at the time - had to put it on credit card. Happened to me once too. Guy I dated (why I continued) suggested we go to a sushi restaurant (I hate sushi) and he ordered some very expensive stuff, I got a coke. When the bill arrived, he pulled out money which was just loose change really, I honestly thought, dear me, I don't mind paying half, or more than half, but this takes the biscuit. I ended up paying for a meal I didn't eat, or order, he did. No wonder he stuck around lol. See I'm happy to pay, provided I haven't been taken for muggins. I was taken for a ride I thought, he knew there was no possible way he could afford what he was ordering, he just did it no thought spared to me. I was young, I went a long with it. Link to post Share on other sites
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