Author BWLoca Posted November 9, 2009 Author Share Posted November 9, 2009 Only phone and text conversations. This was to be our first meeting. The reason I suggested something small, like drinks. Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 May I ask something? if you were that bothered, why did you say yes? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 You are actually, prejudging someone because of something relatively small. Oh stop.. We all judge people that we go out with.. money, looks, hair color, breath, smell, age, education.... whatever.. She was the one that was asked out in the manner she was and she posted about it.. so what.. I personally think the guy is a cheapskate.. but that is only me.. You don't but mainly because you are young.. I've said before that it isn't that he was going to pay with a gift card that is the issue.. It is that he asked her out becuase he had one.. The guy was 26 and trying to impress her with a gift card.. That is no different then asking a girl out and then taking her to Mcdonalds for a first date.. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Only phone and text conversations. This was to be our first meeting. The reason I suggested something small, like drinks. Then why do you have such a problem with it? I take it you met him online? Maybe he didn't get the feeling you wanted a full on date? Maybe he wanted something a little nicer then coffee or drinks, but didn't know how to ask. By the way, a persons tone in speaking, even over the phone, and what is said can speak volumes about a person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BWLoca Posted November 9, 2009 Author Share Posted November 9, 2009 May I ask something? if you were that bothered, why did you say yes? Because I'm not that shallow Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 The guy was 26 and trying to impress her with a gift card.. That is no different then asking a girl out and then taking her to Mcdonalds for a first date.. I don't think he was trying to impress her with a gift card. I think he was trying to keep it light. Asking someone out isn't easy for everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 OP.. Do you think he would've asked you out for a first date if he hadn't had the gift card ? There is where the real answer lies.. My guess is no... Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 But then you post about something you didn't like? That to me is totally prejudging and being shallow, caring about something so small. Maybe it's me, maybe not. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Because I'm not that shallow But shallow enough to be bothered about it? You obviously didn't care for how he asked you out. It obviously left a bad taste in your mouth. Sounds like you were just settling for a date to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BWLoca Posted November 9, 2009 Author Share Posted November 9, 2009 Then why do you have such a problem with it? I take it you met him online? Maybe he didn't get the feeling you wanted a full on date? Maybe he wanted something a little nicer then coffee or drinks, but didn't know how to ask. By the way, a persons tone in speaking, even over the phone, and what is said can speak volumes about a person. What problem? I'm not the one making a big deal. It's not exactly complicated to post something on this board. It's just like asking a friend or family member for their opinion. I don't see the problem. Fine, he wanted something nicer. I accepted. Yeah, I realize that, thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 I don't think he was trying to impress her with a gift card. I think he was trying to keep it light. Asking someone out isn't easy for everyone. First Dates are ALL about IMPRESSIONS.. so yes.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BWLoca Posted November 9, 2009 Author Share Posted November 9, 2009 But shallow enough to be bothered about it? You obviously didn't care for how he asked you out. It obviously left a bad taste in your mouth. Sounds like you were just settling for a date to me. So? I'm human and I'm going to get impressions from people. I realize that not everything is going to go the way I want it to go. So, by accepting I'm settling. But by refusing, I'm being shallow and judgmental. Can't win, apparently. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 I'm curious.. what if he would have had a gift card for a super pricey place that was beyond his means. Would it be okay then? What if a girl wanted to take a guy out, but the girl makes less money, but had a gift card, then would that be okay? Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 But maybe it was a prop? Oh look here, I have gift card for such and such, do you fancy going there with me? Posting on a forum, is making a deal of it. How would he feel to see this thread? Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Well if what Art says is true, that he made a bad first impression, and you are turned off by this, then yes you are settling by accepting. I think making a big deal about it is what makes you shallow. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 But maybe it was a prop? Oh look here, I have gift card for such and such, do you fancy going there with me? Posting on a forum, is making a deal of it. How would he feel to see this thread? Good god girl.. People post about all kinds of things online.. just becuase she posted in a forum about it doesn't make it wrong.. You post on a web forum, does that make all the things you post about petty ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BWLoca Posted November 9, 2009 Author Share Posted November 9, 2009 But maybe it was a prop? Oh look here, I have gift card for such and such, do you fancy going there with me? Posting on a forum, is making a deal of it. How would he feel to see this thread? Okay, let's say it was a prop...I agreed to the date, and on those terms. How would a lot of people feel if they saw a thread about them? I'm not the first and only person to have posted something. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BWLoca Posted November 9, 2009 Author Share Posted November 9, 2009 I'm curious.. what if he would have had a gift card for a super pricey place that was beyond his means. Would it be okay then? What if a girl wanted to take a guy out, but the girl makes less money, but had a gift card, then would that be okay? See, you're assuming I just want a guy to spend a bunch of money. It's not the case. I would never ask someone out for a first date with a gift card. If I couldn't afford it, I wouldn't suggest it. And I've dated guys who made more than me, and still I paid for dinners and such. Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Fair enough, but in all honesty, go on the date, enjoy it or hate it. Whichever, stop focusing on the gift card. Maybe it wasn't a perfect choice of words, but heck, he asked, you accepted, meh. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Okay, let's say it was a prop...I agreed to the date, and on those terms. Umm but you didn't. You accepted the date after making the judgment call that he is cheap. I think judging him like that is wrong, but whatever floats your boat. If you think that's cheap, fine so be it. But don't go out with the guy then. Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Agreed with Dreamergrl. It makes no sense to go on a date with a guy you labelled as cheap. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BWLoca Posted November 9, 2009 Author Share Posted November 9, 2009 Umm but you didn't. You accepted the date after making the judgment call that he is cheap. I think judging him like that is wrong, but whatever floats your boat. If you think that's cheap, fine so be it. But don't go out with the guy then. Actually, I haven't made a judgment, yet. Just because I got an impression doesn't mean I was ready to write him off. Nor would I have treated him any differently. I accepted because I like other things about him. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 See, you're assuming I just want a guy to spend a bunch of money. It's not the case. I would never ask someone out for a first date with a gift card. If I couldn't afford it, I wouldn't suggest it. And I've dated guys who made more than me, and still I paid for dinners and such. You are assuming I am directed this at you. It was a general question But now you do admit that it is about the gift card. Not how you were asked. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BWLoca Posted November 9, 2009 Author Share Posted November 9, 2009 Well, either way, it was an answer on my part. I was asked WITH a gift card...I've already said I thought it was tacky for a first date. Not the card itself... Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 See, you're assuming I just want a guy to spend a bunch of money. It's not the case. I would never ask someone out for a first date with a gift card. If I couldn't afford it, I wouldn't suggest it. And I've dated guys who made more than me, and still I paid for dinners and such. Well, either way, it was an answer on my part. I was asked WITH a gift card...I've already said I thought it was tacky for a first date. Not the card itself... The bold is a contradiction on your part. Also... you said early in the thread that the restaurant wasn't one of your choice. So maybe the dinners you have paid for weren't one of their choice. How would you feel if they made that comment when you were trying to take them out within your means? Link to post Share on other sites
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