harmfulsweetz Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 I've been on dates with people before, where I've paid (I've had little money) and they've delibrately gotten something cheaper because they knew the money situation. Does that make me cheap? I still paid. I've also had guys who didn't care, and turned up without money, and expected to go to nice places and for me to pay after they had eaten, they told me they had no money! Classic. It's contradictory to say you aren't bothered by the card but to call it tacky. If I like a guy, he would be able to take me to a park bench with a picnic and I'd still love it. It wouldn't be tacky. He could dish out as many gift cards as he liked, even some discount vouchers. Why spend money when you have a gift card? I get it, it wasn't a romantic way to ask, but to be fair, with nerves and everything, I don't think you were going to get Shakespeare, and it lets you know he's paying. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BWLoca Posted November 9, 2009 Author Share Posted November 9, 2009 I just knew you were waiting to use something I've said against me. Pretty much the only reason you're still posting. What is your point with the bold parts? I would not ask someone out with a gift card because I think it's tacky. If I'd suggested and he just happened to have one, fine. If they didn't like the restaurant, they should speak up and we can choose another place together. I don't have a problem saying I don't have a lot of money. Otherwise, that person should let it go. I've not said a word about the choice of restaurant. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 I just knew you were waiting to use something I've said against me. Pretty much the only reason you're still posting. What is your point with the bold parts? I would not ask someone out with a gift card because I think it's tacky. If I'd suggested and he just happened to have one, fine. So now, if you suggested the restaurant, and he happened to have a gift card, it is okay? But if he picks out the place and uses a gift card it's not okay? Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 I like it when the guy chooses the venue, maybe it was because he had a gift card, but maybe it's because he also thought you may like it. You are contradicting yourself a lot. It's a date. Enjoy it, instead of worrying about he asked you on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Bejita463 Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 This topic really doesn't interest me enough to read 17 pages (or even 2, really) of it, so I apologize in advance if this has already been said: Why does it matter where the money came from? USD... check card... credit card... gift card... check... Euro... SEK... Who gives a ****? The meal ends up paid for, right? With a legal form of tender? What does it matter what specific form the payment takes? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BWLoca Posted November 9, 2009 Author Share Posted November 9, 2009 I don't see where I've contradicted myself. I don't have a problem with his choice. What bothered me was mentioning a gift card as a catalyst for asking me out. I actually would have felt better if he'd just used it at dinner... There was just no need to mention it. Like I said earlier, "cheap" was the wrong word... I accepted because like others said, maybe he was nervous, thought I would like it, didn't have a lot of money but wanted to impress me, etc... After all, it is a first date. I wouldn't bother reading 17 pages of this, either, if I were you. Not really worth it. At this point, I'm just responding to accusations Link to post Share on other sites
Author BWLoca Posted November 9, 2009 Author Share Posted November 9, 2009 I like it when the guy chooses the venue, maybe it was because he had a gift card, but maybe it's because he also thought you may like it. You are contradicting yourself a lot. It's a date. Enjoy it, instead of worrying about he asked you on it. I prefer to choose a place together but if he has some place in mind, so be it. Honestly, this whole thread is pointless. No one is changing their mind. We all seem to be pretty head strong Link to post Share on other sites
Shygirl15 Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 I'm not sure if it's a sign of cheapness to be honest. If anything, he seems to be down-to-earth and real. It would have been better if he suggested that on something like 2nd or 3rd date though.. Link to post Share on other sites
BG1985 Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 BWLoca- This guy asked you out via text message? That's even worse. And for everybody saying that he was nervous and used the gift card as a prop, how could you be nervous when asking someone out over a text message? It's a very passive form of communication and rejection isn't nearly as bad as when you are rejected in person or over the phone. Link to post Share on other sites
homersheineken Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 BWLoca- This guy asked you out via text message? That's even worse. And for everybody saying that he was nervous and used the gift card as a prop, how could you be nervous when asking someone out over a text message? It's a very passive form of communication and rejection isn't nearly as bad as when you are rejected in person or over the phone. Exactly he was nervous, that's why he used a txt msg to ask her out. It completely explains the gift card. He was nervous. Maybe he thought if she rejected him, it would seem like a "friend" thing. I don't know. But the dude was nervous, hence the txt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BWLoca Posted November 9, 2009 Author Share Posted November 9, 2009 Reading the other pov's, I agree, that it's proably not a sign of cheapness. But he also isn't trying very hard. Yes, via text message. Well, I'm not going to hold this against him since I tend to be really shy myself. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Exactly he was nervous, that's why he used a txt msg to ask her out. It completely explains the gift card. He was nervous. Maybe he thought if she rejected him, it would seem like a "friend" thing. I don't know. But the dude was nervous, hence the txt. Agreed. Before I found more confidence, if I wanted to make a move and go out with a guy, I'd ask via email or text. It cushions rejection. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Reading the other pov's, I agree, that it's proably not a sign of cheapness. But he also isn't trying very hard. Yes, via text message. Well, I'm not going to hold this against him since I tend to be really shy myself. And what are you doing that making him want to try? Link to post Share on other sites
BG1985 Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 (edited) Well if you're nervous, you just need to nut up and be a man about it. I'm surprised she said yes when being asked out through text message. I used to be nervous/shy with girls myself. In fact, it's still not easy asking girls out. If you never take risks, you'll never overcome your fear or rejection. It's tough, but people in general like a man who exudes confidence. Edited November 9, 2009 by BG1985 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BWLoca Posted November 9, 2009 Author Share Posted November 9, 2009 And what are you doing that making him want to try? No one is forcing him to ask me out. Apparently I did something right Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Maybe the guy is feeling OP out. Maybe he got some hesitation on her part when speaking on the phone. Maybe she said something (unknowingly?) that made him think she might not be interested. Some people hate talking on the phone. If it's not your preference to be asked out a certain way, then don't accept. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 No one is forcing him to ask me out. Apparently I did something right Well first you called how he did it tacky and cheap. Now your saying he's not trying real hard. So why even go out with him?? Link to post Share on other sites
BG1985 Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 If a guy feels like a girl is not interested, then he shouldn't ask her out. Link to post Share on other sites
BG1985 Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Maybe BWLoca doesn't get many date offers, so she figures this is better than nothing. If somebody has a lot of options, she wouldn't accept such a weak attempt of an offer. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 If a guy feels like a girl is not interested, then he shouldn't ask her out. And if a girl doesn't feel how he asked her out isn't good enough, or if he isn't trying, she shouldn't accept. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Maybe BWLoca doesn't get many date offers, so she figures this is better than nothing. If somebody has a lot of options, she wouldn't accept such a weak attempt of an offer. Same as maybe the guy doesn't ask many girls out. So maybe she's better then nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BWLoca Posted November 9, 2009 Author Share Posted November 9, 2009 It is tacky. Forgive me, I liked the guy and wanted to interact with him in person. Is that a crime? Now, if he does the same thing for a 2nd date, then I'll probably decline. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BWLoca Posted November 9, 2009 Author Share Posted November 9, 2009 It could be he thinks I'm better than nothing...and I'd figure that out soon enough. Link to post Share on other sites
jw90063 Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 I have to say I think its absolutely ridiculous that some are still debating over this, and the girl hasn't even gone on the date yet. I think she was simply asking, and its been all blown out of proportion. There are way too many assumptions being made when nothing has happened yet ,except him asking her out. I still think there is nothing wrong with using a gift card on the first date, but maybe he shouldn't have mentioned it to her prior to going on or at all. He doesn't know her and she doesn't know him. If he mentions the gift card, some people might start questioning whether he's cheap or not because they don't know him, being it's the first date. Its obvious she will have to actually go out with him to find out if he is actually cheap or whats going on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BWLoca Posted November 9, 2009 Author Share Posted November 9, 2009 I think she was simply asking, and its been all blown out of proportion. THANK YOU! Link to post Share on other sites
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