BG1985 Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 Most people don't date casually at 26 anymore; they are typically looking for their future husband/wife. If this guy has no money, he doesn't need to be trying to find a wife right now. Link to post Share on other sites
jw90063 Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 If the guy is worried she may be high-maintenance, why would he bother dating her? It doesn't matter what BWLoca did or didn't do to impress this guy, he's the one asking her on a date so he obviously thought she was good enough. If he's really low on money, what's he going to do for the second, third or fourth dates? I hope he doesn't expect her to start chipping in for these dates. Once again, the OP suggested something simple such as drinks or coffee, but the guy still insisted upon using the gift card. If BWLoca were really such a desperate beggar, as you suggested Chat Room Hero, she wouldn't have thought twice about the gift card fiasco. Why would he date her if she is high maintenance? Because he likes other things about her, so far. Maybe he was just excited he had a gift card, and wanted to share it with her. I'm guessing his thoughts were like "yah, I have a gift card, lets use it". I usually get excited when I get a gift card. That's normal. I didn't actually hear the guys tone or how he said it, but I can't believe he would just be taking her out because he has a gift card. Either way she is getting a FREE meal. If you can't appreciate that..... Link to post Share on other sites
Vertex Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 At this point, it's all speculation. She's already "dinging" him for using the card in the first place, which is up to her. All that's left is to see how the date goes. Link to post Share on other sites
jw90063 Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 Most people don't date casually at 26 anymore; they are typically looking for their future husband/wife. If this guy has no money, he doesn't need to be trying to find a wife right now. That's just wrong, but yeah. If you are a male, I have an idea, you and the OP go out on your expensive date. Make sure you at least spend $75, or it will look bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 The guy offered you a free dinner and beggars can't be choosers. ......... Link to post Share on other sites
BG1985 Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 Or I could be creative and do something other than a dinner date first time around. The OP actually sounded rather receptive to that stargazing idea that someone facetiously suggested. Y'all either don't read my posts or y'all purposely ignore important BOLDED parts. The OP was just fine with either drinks or coffee. She even said the stargazing thing was a great idea. As far as we know, the first impression this guy made was "Hey, I have a gift card to Outback, let's go there." That's not a great first impression. Absolutely no thought went into this date. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BWLoca Posted November 6, 2009 Author Share Posted November 6, 2009 Well, the reason I posted about it was to get others opinions as I don't like to judge people too quickly. I never said tacky; I said the way he asked came off as cheap. I'd already accepted the date so no matter what, I'm going. Like I said, he seems like a nice guy so far, so I'll see how it goes. I've dated guys who didn't have money before...my interest in a guy has nothing to do with that. And he already had an in since he'd kept suggesting we go out and I agreed each time. I suggested drinks...and then he comes up with this maybe two weeks later. Link to post Share on other sites
The Collector Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 If the guy is worried she may be high-maintenance, why would he bother dating her? To get to know her better. Maybe she's not. It doesn't matter what BWLoca did or didn't do to impress this guy, he's the one asking her on a date so he obviously thought she was good enough. Men have to do the asking. Doesn't mean it's all about her. If he's really low on money, what's he going to do for the second, third or fourth dates? I hope he doesn't expect her to start chipping in for these dates. Oh God forbid she should ever have to pay for anything ever, obviously. And poor people shouldn't date, got it. Once again, the OP suggested something simple such as drinks or coffee, but the guy still insisted upon using the gift card. Some of us might suspect that if he had agreed to just having a coffee, that would also be 'wrong' - if not by the OP's standards, by plenty of other women's. Their 'value' is based on the size of the bill. Perhaps the guy wants to filter out these types, I know I do. f BWLoca were really such a desperate beggar, as you suggested Chat Room Hero, she wouldn't have thought twice about the gift card fiasco. If she was a desperate beggar - or 'gold-digger' - she would indeed think twice about the offer as it indicates he is not going to mindlessly shower her with moolah and gifts, as some idiots do. I don't really see you logic here. Link to post Share on other sites
BG1985 Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 BWLoca, there's no reason to not follow your gut. You might as well go on the date though. Honestly, I don't see why a girl would ever turn down a guy for a first date. Link to post Share on other sites
boundaryproblem Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 I don't see an issue with using a gift card on a first date. The problem was mentioning the gift card when asking the girl out- makes it seem like a coupon. Now you are 'locked' into that location. What if there is a line-up when you get there. No room to manoever. Here is a BIG faux pas: Invite girl on dinner date, drink a lot and leave her with the whole bill. Happened to me once. The bill came, he got up, stretched, said "money's tight" and ambled off to the bathroom for 15 minutes. I paid the bill while he was in the bathroom. What a great story - I love telling it. I was a student at the time - had to put it on credit card. Link to post Share on other sites
The Collector Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 Here is a BIG faux pas: Invite girl on dinner date, drink a lot and leave her with the whole bill. Happened to me once. The bill came, he got up, stretched, said "money's tight" and ambled off to the bathroom for 15 minutes. I paid the bill while he was in the bathroom. What a great story - I love telling it. I was a student at the time - had to put it on credit card. Your once-in-a-lifetime experience of being taken advantage of and footing the whole bill is a weekly event for many men. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 I don't see an issue with using a gift card on a first date. The problem was mentioning the gift card when asking the girl out- makes it seem like a coupon. Now you are 'locked' into that location. What if there is a line-up when you get there. No room to manoever. Here is a BIG faux pas: Invite girl on dinner date, drink a lot and leave her with the whole bill. Happened to me once. The bill came, he got up, stretched, said "money's tight" and ambled off to the bathroom for 15 minutes. I paid the bill while he was in the bathroom. What a great story - I love telling it. I was a student at the time - had to put it on credit card. Ouch.. I would have told him.. sorry dude.. I only have $___ (my part).. that's all I can contribute.. go wash the dishes.. azzhole... Link to post Share on other sites
BG1985 Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 The Collector, if you ask a girl on a date, you should expect to pay the full bill. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 I don't think OP should have accepted the date. This whole giftcard thing will be with her the entire time. She made assumptions and labeled the guy already. I think this will most likely shine through on the date. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BWLoca Posted November 6, 2009 Author Share Posted November 6, 2009 I don't see an issue with using a gift card on a first date. The problem was mentioning the gift card when asking the girl out- makes it seem like a coupon. Now you are 'locked' into that location. What if there is a line-up when you get there. No room to manoever. Here is a BIG faux pas: Invite girl on dinner date, drink a lot and leave her with the whole bill. Happened to me once. The bill came, he got up, stretched, said "money's tight" and ambled off to the bathroom for 15 minutes. I paid the bill while he was in the bathroom. What a great story - I love telling it. I was a student at the time - had to put it on credit card. Why did you pay the whole bill? Did you think he wasn't coming back? Link to post Share on other sites
boundaryproblem Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 Call me old-fashioned, but I think the man should always pay for the first date, if he asked me out. I reciprocate by ordering something inexpensive, like soup. From then on it is 50/50. I don't need someone else'e baggage if they've dated Btches in the past. He treats me with respect, I treat him with respect. Are these gold-diggers you are referring to the same girls that couldn't pick a restaurant to save their life, from a previous thread? Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 I disagree, DG. I think she'll go and have a fun time. Its like us women to think things half to death, its what we do! She'll come home with more things to think about! Link to post Share on other sites
Vertex Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 I don't see an issue with using a gift card on a first date. The problem was mentioning the gift card when asking the girl out- makes it seem like a coupon. Now you are 'locked' into that location. What if there is a line-up when you get there. No room to manoever. Here is a BIG faux pas: Invite girl on dinner date, drink a lot and leave her with the whole bill. Happened to me once. The bill came, he got up, stretched, said "money's tight" and ambled off to the bathroom for 15 minutes. I paid the bill while he was in the bathroom. What a great story - I love telling it. I was a student at the time - had to put it on credit card. Wow. Lmfao. Now, that is what I would call "being cheap AND tacky." Link to post Share on other sites
jw90063 Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 I don't see an issue with using a gift card on a first date. The problem was mentioning the gift card when asking the girl out- makes it seem like a coupon. Now you are 'locked' into that location. What if there is a line-up when you get there. No room to manoever. Here is a BIG faux pas: Invite girl on dinner date, drink a lot and leave her with the whole bill. Happened to me once. The bill came, he got up, stretched, said "money's tight" and ambled off to the bathroom for 15 minutes. I paid the bill while he was in the bathroom. What a great story - I love telling it. I was a student at the time - had to put it on credit card. I guess I didn't really think about it this way. There is nothing wrong with him using a gift card, but just maybe shouldn't have mentioned it prior to the date, even if he didn't mean anything by it. She doesn't know him that well, and she doesn't need to know what method of payment he is going to use for dinner. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 I disagree, DG. I think she'll go and have a fun time. Its like us women to think things half to death, its what we do! She'll come home with more things to think about! Nah, she accepted the date with "Even though" and "Despite.." generally not so positive terms. She sounds like she's settling. Link to post Share on other sites
BG1985 Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 It actually irks me when a girl decides to "help me out" by ordering the cheapest thing on the menu, unless that's what she REALLY wants and enjoys. When on a date, I want the girl to feel like she can have fun and enjoy herself. Link to post Share on other sites
The Collector Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 The Collector, if you ask a girl on a date, you should expect to pay the full bill. Why? Because the asker pays? Not fair, men always have to ask. Because it's traditional? Well I'm not. She can join me or not, it's her choice. The women I like tend to think that's fair. Because it is. Link to post Share on other sites
espec10001 Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 And people wonder why dating sucks so much. It's like a freakin' job interview! And the job doesn't even pay anything! Link to post Share on other sites
jw90063 Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 Call me old-fashioned, but I think the man should always pay for the first date, if he asked me out. I reciprocate by ordering something inexpensive, like soup. From then on it is 50/50. I actually think the other way around. You do not really know the person, so why should the guy have to pay just because he is the guy and taking her out. It makes more sense for the guy to pay later on, IMO. There is nothing wrong with him paying, but I almost feel awkward , if I don't offer to help pay some. I never have actually paid anything on a date, but have offered. I also do find myself ordering the cheapest on the menu. :)Now if the guy didn't offer, that would bother me though. Link to post Share on other sites
boundaryproblem Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 Why did you pay the whole bill? Did you think he wasn't coming back? Why did I pay the bill? It was sitting in front of me. He was FOREVER in the bathroom. He had a good paying job at the time too. He should have been ashamed of himself. But he wasn't. He ran into me on the street a few months later and wanted to go out again. I was curious, so I said ok (my girlfriends and their boyfriends all loved the story - I was fascinated to see Part 2 unfold). He took me to a really cheap greek restaurant, didn't order any booze and then he paid the whole bill for the second date. There was no third date. Or anything else for that matter. Link to post Share on other sites
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