Men and Women and Porn and Strip Clubs

[Nikki Sahagin]

I think few people are truly cut out for relationships.

 

I know for myself I would give and sacrifice anything for my relationship. I don't think men tend to do the same. Maybe because women are raised to give, and men are raised to take, women to be passive, men to be active. I think women prioritise relationships and emotions higher, men prioritise themselves and desires higher (as a generalisation). I think women are far more complicated emotionally. Men can never understand that about women - unless you are a woman stuck in a mans body.

 

I personally think there is nothing more powerful, beautifully or fulfilling as love. If a strip joint is more important than the love you share with someone, then, thats sad...

[Trialbyfire]

Please tell me he never literally got down on his knees

No, just his figurative knees, although he did cry twice. I did forgive him pretty quickly, just didn't forgive his actions and wouldn't take him back, regardless of what was said.

[normal]

Her guy is probably telling the truth. She has him nicely whipped.

 

...and he probably has a wild imagination.

secretly, of couse.

[lino]

IMO a man who regularly goes to strip joints is being disrespectful to his partner.

If he goes once in a blue moon( ie once every couple of years) I see no harm in that.

Personally, strip joints do nothing for me.

 

 

 

Maybe because women are raised to give, and men are raised to take, women to be passive, men to be active. I think women prioritise relationships and emotions higher, men prioritise themselves and desires higher

 

This is so far from the truth it ain't even funny!

[Jake Barnes]

Wouldnt it bother a lot of you guys if your gf's went to a bar where real live men were exposing their erect ding dongs to them and grinding all over them?

 

IM not sure its a breaking up offense unless its a regular activity, but it is disrespectful

[LikeCharlotte]

Its a place where you go wearing a toga and you sit in a hot steaming bath of fresh spring water and have your slave apply frankincense ointment on your body while you talk sentimentally about the days of the republic

Just wanted to say :lmao: :lmao:

[Woggle]

You don't have to crack the whip but he knows what the consequences will be if he goes. That fact that he chooses this over his freedom shows that he is whipped.

[Jersey Shortie]

Why sit at home?

Why not indulge in a male strip club or one of those monster vibrators (you know, the ones with 6 speeds, 20 different functions, 10 inches long and includes it's own wall charger?).

Then when he comes home smelling like cigarettes, booze and strippers, you can think of how wonderful life is with your ten inch vibe...

 

Male strip clubs don't turn on 99% of the women out there. Now how about when he goes out to a strip club she goes out to one as well to dance for other men. No touching of cours..just letting other men appreicate her sexuality and beauty. Do you think most men would mind or woulnd't mind? What if she only did it once in awhile? Does that change men's feelings?

 

As for vibs . Unlike alot of guys out there, I consider interaction with my real life breating, SO quite enough.

 

Otherwise, why don't you put on a little strip tease for him so he doesn't feel the NEED to go to the strip club?

 

Why doesn't he do the things he should to make me feel like stripping for him? How do you know that he doesn't get dances at home? How come when it comes down to a man controling himself, it comes back to what a woman should be providing? Is a man unable to be strong and use control of his body without the aid from a woman?

 

There are more options than sitting around being jealous.

And life is way too short for that nonsense anyways.

 

It certainly is. Life is too short for alot of men to be wasting their time and energy on a girl it gives a crap about him when they have someone at home that loves them. Where are these men's priorities?

 

Not only that, but there's absolutely nothing to be jealous over when it comes to strippers and porn actors.

They'll never be known for anything worthwhile.

And fifty years after their career has ended, they'll be remembered (IF they're even remembered!) for being a slut....nothing more, but maybe less.

Why would anyone be jealous of that?

 

Because so many men sell out their own wives/girlfriends in the name of porn and strippers. Time and time again i see men say those things aren't important but we got about 15+ pages telling us different don't we. Porn and strippers are nothing to a *man* to be jealous of because the industry focuses on women and what men want them to be and what men want them to do. In porn a man can be a fat pig or douche and still be having sex with a beautiful woman. Of course there is nothign for men to be jealous over. Porn doesn't cater to women like it does to men.

 

 

And why would anyone waste their time getting all sad and insecure over that?

 

Why do so many men waste their time wanting to spend time with other women, look at porn through their computer? That is sad and insecure of them.

 

 

What woman wouldn't want a giant cock wiggling in their face just like what man wouldn't want to experience some fake boobs jiggling around in their face?

 

Hi. I'm a woman. Have we ever met before?

 

Do you know anything about women? :/

 

Having strip clubs and porn available are probably what help keep your partner from cheating...

they can experience variety without needing to be intimate or physical with another person.....

 

If a man needs porn and strippers to keep him from cheating, he shouldn't even be in a relationship tobegin with and dragging down the woman that foolishy cares for him.

 

 

Actually, I think you're the one with an attitude.

If I was your SO, I'd probably want to watch porn and go to strip clubs too.

 

Stop shaming her for her thoughts. This comment adds no value to the thread.

[Trialbyfire]

JS, that's untrue about 99% of women not getting into male strip clubs. Have you ever been to one?

 

I went once with a bunch of friends to an upscale club, a long, long time ago, for a lark. It was raunchy and the environment was seedy, full of women who were loud, obnoxious and hammered. The women were screaming at the strippers, urging them on. The strippers were being strippers. For cash, they would jump onto chairs, one foot on each arm of the chair and wave their wangs in the woman's face. The entire scenario was cringe-worthy and not erotic. There's no doubt the women were turned on by this crudeness.

 

We snuck out before the show ended, embarrassed and revolted.

[Jersey Shortie]

JS, that's untrue about 99% of women not getting into male strip clubs. Have you ever been to one?

 

I went once with a bunch of friends to an upscale club, a long, long time ago, for a lark. It was raunchy and the environment was seedy, full of women who were loud, obnoxious and hammered. The women were screaming at the strippers, urging them on. The strippers were being strippers. For cash, they would jump onto chairs, one foot on each arm of the chair and wave their wangs in the woman's face. The entire scenario was cringe-worthy and not erotic. There's no doubt the women were turned on by this crudeness.

 

We snuck out before the show ended, embarrassed and revolted.

 

I never said it didn't ever happen Trial. But most women aren't turned on by it. Seriously, we could do a post an ask the ladies here how many women are honestly turned on by male strippers and I safely bet 99..okay maybe 97% say they aren't. It's common sense that if you go to a specific place like that, it draws a certain crowd. Go to a Star Wars convension and it draws those people that it interests. Go to a Male review and it's more likey to draw the limited amount of women that enjoy it.

 

Also compare how many strip clubs are there compared with male reviews. Women are not going to male reviews to the same degree and time that men do. Most women are not turned on by a gay grease monkey gyrating around. Sure there are a limited few women that are, an they probably go but how many is that in all honesty. Not many. Most women aren't turned on like that.

 

Now ask how many men would hate to see his own SO on stage gyrating around, it's a different story.

 

I know this, you know this and most men understand this.

[flash582]

I must say that I don't understand what all the hoopla is about for most of the people who post on this site.

 

Going to a Strip club in most states is about the same as turning on Cable TV ..... soft porn.

 

Now here in Texas, not only are you allowed, but you are expected to Touch the very naked woman who is writhing around on your lap. The more money you drop the more areas you get to touch!

 

I would CERTAINLY expect that my wife would get VERY jealous of that. I would be jealous if some naked guy was gyrating around on my wife while she could touch all she wanted.

 

Otherwise .... porn or strip clubs are nothing more than visual stimulation that you should take home and put to good use inside your marriage!

 

And go ahead ... try to tell me that none of the women on this site have ever fantasied, with or without visual aids, about a guy other than their husband/BF.

 

Too many people forget that relationship does not mean OWNERSHIP. You still have a person with thoughts, hopes, dreams, and fantasies all their own. Try to control all that and I can guarantee that you'll be single again real soon, man OR woman.

[Trialbyfire]

Jersey, why do you keep holding up women as shining examples of the angelic gender and men as the horrific gender? Stop it! We're all human. Just stop demonizing men because they're different than women. They'll never think like women do and thank, fricken chreest they don't. I don't want a man to be a woman. I want him to be a man.

 

Having said that, yes, there are untrustworthy men, as there are untrustworthy women. There are women with little to no morals/scruples. Same goes for men. There are women who enjoy a seedy environment and there are men who do too. Your 97% stat about women is about the same accuracy level as the 99% of men cheat figure, just b/s generalizations.

 

These are your insecurities, same as the morons who run around on LS, stating that all or most women are this or that.

[Trialbyfire]

I don't see her doing that, she is stating a fact. Women don't get turned on in the same way as men do by greasy naked gay looking men. It's that simple. Men get turned on by beautiful naked women. There is nothing demonizing about that, those are facts. So to compare "a male club to a female one is apples and oranges" In fact a lot of those male strippers make way more money on gay nights where they can dance for gay men. Imagine that!

I really should post the study about male and female sexuality. Hetero women were turned on not only by naked man but enough times, by naked women. Hetero men were solely turned on by naked women. Homosexual men were solely turned on by men.

[GorillaTheater]

I don't see her doing that, she is stating a fact. Women don't get turned on in the same way as men do by greasy naked gay looking men. It's that simple. Men get turned on by beautiful naked women. There is nothing demonizing about that, those are facts. So to compare "a male club to a female one is apples and oranges" In fact a lot of those male strippers make way more money on gay nights where they can dance for gay men. Imagine that!

 

To the contrary, I most definitely DO see her as demonizing men. She's the female Woggle of these boards.

 

And just so we're clear: I don't have in interest in strip clubs. I went a couple of times 20 years ago and found them pathetic on one hand and predatory on the other. I do, however, admit to a certain fondness for naked women. Just not on a "commercial" basis.

[Trialbyfire]

Post it, I'd love to see it. I can get turned on by seeing a naked men but the types of men that dance at those clubs seriously do nothing for me. They don't appeal to most women they appeal to gay men.

Took me forever to find it again, but here it is.

 

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2003/06/030613075252.htm

[Jersey Shortie]

Jersey, why do you keep holding up women as shining examples of the angelic gender and men as the horrific gender? Stop it! We're all human. Just stop demonizing men because they're different than women. They'll never think like women do and thank, fricken chreest they don't. I don't want a man to be a woman. I want him to be a man.

 

Go ahead and show me one example that says I hold women up to "shining examples of the angelic gender"..really just one. We both know you can't.

 

And please show me one example where I said men were horrific? Again, just one.

 

I love men but I won't pretend they are perfect. How does that imply that I think women are perfect? In this thread, the topic is porn and strip clubs and how it relates to committed people. My view points are based on this topic at hand. Instead of countering my views with your own thoughts this time around, you have resorted to personally attacking me and overextrapoliting my statements to fit your own agenda about what you think I am about. I have no issue with you disagreeing. It's the statements that I think women are "angelic" and men "horrific" that you are trying to pass off as my personal truth is atrocious.

 

By the way, I don't want a man to be a woman either but that doesn't mean that that makes strip clubs and porn good to go. I want men to be men, I love how sexual men can be. But I that doesn't mean that I don't think a man should use self control.

 

If we go by your line of thinking, men that get turned on by women thinking about other women sexually, must mean a man wants women to think more like a man? Doesn't want a woman to be a woman? All the men that want wome nto respond to porn the way they do..they must want women not to be women right?

 

Having said that, yes, there are untrustworthy men, as there are untrustworthy women. There are women with little to no morals/scruples. Same goes for men. There are women who enjoy a seedy environment and there are men who do too. Your 97% stat about women is about the same accuracy level as the 99% of men cheat figure, just b/s generalizations.

 

Of course there are untrustworthy men or women and trust worthy ones as well. Of course there are women with little scruples. And yes, of course there are women that enjoy male reviews on a sexual level. But to try to pass that off as the majority? Come on. All you have to do is look at how many male strip clubs there are to female. Can you really claim that there are more or equal male strip clubs as female? Like I said, you went into a situation that drew a certain crowd. I wouldn't go to a star wars convention and not expect just about all the people there to be fans. Doesn't man I think that most of the outside world is. And yes, I do talk in generalizations, but how does that make my statements any less true? Frankly, you talk in generalizations yourself. Everyone here does.

 

These are your insecurities, same as the morons who run around on LS, stating that all or most women are this or that.

 

I have insecurities and never denied that. But I never found that someone with insecurities made that person unable to debate intelligently or logically. Your point of view isn't mine, that's perfectly fine. We believe in different things. But trying to discredit my opinion with weak comments on my insecurities, which I fully admit to, and extraploiting my words to mean something they just don't, isn't justified.

 

 

Otherwise .... porn or strip clubs are nothing more than visual stimulation that you should take home and put to good use inside your marriage!

 

All I can say that as a woman, I don't want to be the grand finale to a night he spent getting excited over other women. Who would be running through his head? Me? Them? Or a combination of both? Either way, the end does not justify the means. The orgasm isn't what is important as how your partner treats you. how many women do you really think say to themselves.. "oh gosh, I love that he looks at all those porno babes, tha tmakes me feel so good..i can't wait until he is done getting off on other women so that he can finish the job with me.." It's a prime way to not make your SO special.

[IrishCarBomb]

Instead of countering my views with your own thoughts this time around, you have resorted to personally attacking me and overextrapoliting my statements to fit your own agenda about what you think I am about.

 

 

Of course there are women with little scruples.

 

 

But I never found that someone with insecurities made that person unable to debate intelligently or logically.

 

Who would be running through his head? Me? Them? Or a combination of both? Either way, the end does not justify the means.

 

[AAlike]

All I can say that as a woman, I don't want to be the grand finale to a night he spent getting excited over other women. Who would be running through his head? Me? Them? Or a combination of both? Either way, the end does not justify the means. The orgasm isn't what is important as how your partner treats you. how many women do you really think say to themselves.. "oh gosh, I love that he looks at all those porno babes, tha tmakes me feel so good..i can't wait until he is done getting off on other women so that he can finish the job with me.." It's a prime way to not make your SO special.

 

see I think this might be more the core of the problem. I guess I can't speak for all men, but in general I think that men get turned on in a much more non-specific manner than women do.

 

I have never been into strip clubs, and I very seldom watch porn anymore - however, I still get horny at random and completely unprovoked and illogical intervals...some days I won't think about sex all day, others I'll watch the local female meteorologist for 30 seconds or see a female co-worker in a certain outfit and boom, it sets off a domino effect where everything seemingly turns me on until I get home. it certainly doesn't mean that when I eventually see my girl that I'm thinking about whatever random image or event triggered me getting turned on, it's just a culmination - and there are also days where I think about her all day too. I don't think that (generally) women get turned on in such a primal, generic way. for men, the primal does not cross over into the romantic at all - we know how sporadic our sex drives are - since women generally don't function this way (that's why even in a one-night stand, where both parties are in it purely for short-term validation, there is still generally a period of "courtship" no matter how forced it may seem - haha) I think that they tend to overemphasize the importance and rarity of their BF's getting turned on by outside stimuli.

 

another point - I have quite a few male friends, and the only ones that I know that are into strip clubs (which are very few) are single and EXTREMELY lonely. I don't know of any non-single guys that go to strip clubs for any reasons other than the standard bachelor party type crap...so if I were a woman whose SO was going regularly, i would be concerned but not over the threat of the T&A but was my guy seeking companionship or validation elsewhere. just my $.02.

[Trialbyfire]

Great article, interesting! Thanks for finding it.

 

I don't think that women don't get aroused by a naked man, I think that women do but not by the types of men that dance at those clubs because there is the psychological aspect to it as well. The thing is, and speaking only from experience and what I didn't see reference to in the article is does arousal happen when looking only at naked men?

 

Now I know that looking at naked men interacting sexually with a woman can be quite stimulating but looking at a man alone for the most part has to really be the type of man that really "does it for you" in order to feel aroused. I don't think the response is so instant like it is for males who can pretty much see a naked boobie peeking out of top and not see any other part of her body and his juices start to flow. They are wired to respond in a much more heightened sense than we are. If I see a picture of only a penis strategically and seductively peeking out of pair of jeans it makes me laugh, where as if it were the other way around and it was a female part in the same context it tends to be more arousing.

 

I think of a magazine like Playboy vs Playgirl. How many women actually buy and admire centerfolds in Playgirl vs the men? And if anything it is the gay males that are getting those types of magazines.

Women are not made of wood, we have sexual responses for sure but I just don't think it is comparable to how men are wired.

Have you ever been to a male strip club? The men attempt to be erotic in their dancing. I use attempt because it's more cringe-worthy, than erotic, at least from my perspective. Apparently, other women find it erotic and get turned on. But then, some women can compartmentalize ONSs or get it on with men who they've got no emotional investment with. Everyone is different. So does this mean that men should get all insecure about the one night their g/f goes to a strip bar? He can't read her mind or control her, so how does he know which type of woman she is? Now switch genders. 'Grats, you've just created the same situation as the opening post!

 

Once again, why do people have to control their partner's thoughts and actions? Who cares if the guy has the odd sexual fantasy. It's not as if women don't, regardless of visual stimulation or otherwise. It doesn't mean that someone will cheat or get emotionally invested in some stripper, grinding it out on the dance floor.

 

Either trust your partner or walk. It's that simple.

[sally4sara]

As a former stripper/dominatrix of 2 1/2 years, I'd like to state I never stepped outside of the limits of the law with any of my actions nor did I tolerate illegal behavior attempt out of the clients. I did not witness illegal acts out of the girls I worked with. Not even once. So........not all of them are "shady" or glorified prostitutes.

 

My attitude about strip clubs and bachelor parties has changed a bit as I matured simply because I now recognize the implications behind the whole situation better than I did then. I recognize as well that while I didn't experience sex acts being provided, it doesn't mean it never happens. I think the lines of what is legal gets blurred when the economic situation of the club or agency's location is depressed. Moral are not standards. Morals stay the same when money grows scarce. Standards are only as high as your belly is full.

 

I footed the bill for my ex husband's bachelor party. I was not stupid; I knew the girl prior and her bouncer was also her husband. I paid her to put on more of a show than I would have. Still not illegal though. I made sure she was paid up front, well tipped, and treated well. All in all she came out of it with around $500 and she said they were they best behaved guys she ever dealt with. I did not attend the party, but they knew I'd hear about what went down.

 

What made the job suck and what changed my attitude about the whole deal was the switch that gets flipped in many guy's heads when they find themselves in this sort of environment. Especially with their friends. The concept that these women are also other human beings goes right out the window for some of them. For a woman to work this job, deal with the usual *********s, and ACTUALLY give out some sexual gratitude for them is a sickening situation for them to feel they need to do to pay the bills. Yes, there are "nice" clients who don't devolve to 13 year old boys with mommy issues, but they are depressingly rare. Honestly, if some of them had NOT been paying be to beat the crap out of them, I wouldn't have lasted the first year. If my boss had not been so adamant about protecting the legitimacy of his business from illegal blemish, I wouldn't have worked for him past the first night.

 

So, while I am glad to have a man who enjoys the female form and therefore, CAN find some enjoyment in viewing their nude twisting bodies, I cannot tolerate a frequency of visiting strip clubs. You cannot expect a guy to get all worked up about your body but be totally impervious to enjoying the viewing of others. Its irrational to expect otherwise.

But to enjoy the degradation of women and use them in this way to impress your buddies with a warped concept of masculinity is disgusting.

My momma told me to pay attention to how my dates treated the servers when dining out because that was a good indication of how they would treat me in 6 months.

I say let them have their bachelor party and send a trusted cousin along to find out if your intended is an over grown 13 year old with mommy issues when his head is full of booze and his friends are egging him on. Don't fret about it and consider it the last screening for if he is good enough for you to marry. Stay away from the ones that go with frequency exceeding special events.

 

Can't make a ho into a good husband, right?

 

And the concept of being the final show of a night full of bawdy lusting......c'mon. Tell me you haven't gone out with the girls and knew full well you looked your best, soaked up a bunch of male approval and then jumped on your guy the moment you got home! This is the female equivalent IMO. We don't get as revved up by viewing oiled guys in ridiculous speedos. I would rather go get a lap dance from a beautiful woman than that despite having had an enjoyable time at a male review. I like comedy shows!

But this is about what makes us feel sexy. For some guys, a stag night that has a pit stop at a titty bar is just that - it makes them feel masculine and sexy even if they don't have some girl do a grind job on them. Probably more so, who wants to sit in jizz pants for the rest of the night?!? EWW

 

What would you think if you'd gone out with the girls and guys fawned over you for a while and you came home feeling all buzzed over how hot you must look.........and your guy got all cold fish on you because it "wasn't all for him"? Lame!

[Jersey Shortie]

Well Sally, I appreciate your comments from your experience even if we don't 100% agree. You given alot of sound responses.

 

You cannot expect a guy to get all worked up about your body but be totally impervious to enjoying the viewing of others. Its irrational to expect otherwise.

 

I am sure this will suprise some but I agree with this. I also will expand on that and say that I think it's irrational and boardline abusive to tell women that they shouldn't be bothered by a man going out with this friends to ogle other women that you know he is going to find at least one he is attracted to. I think that's irrational. We make justifications why men go out and do these things but tell women to be the stronger gender and manage their gut reactions while men are allowed to go off and exploit theres.

 

But to enjoy the degradation of women and use them in this way to impress your buddies with a warped concept of masculinity is disgusting.

 

Well said.

 

My momma told me to pay attention to how my dates treated the servers when dining out because that was a good indication of how they would treat me in 6 months. I say let them have their bachelor party and send a trusted cousin along to find out if your intended is an over grown 13 year old with mommy issues when his head is full of booze and his friends are egging him on. Don't fret about it and consider it the last screening for if he is good enough for you to marry.

 

Ha, that would be pretty telling about a guy. How he behaves when he thinks your not there to see it.

 

But this is about what makes us feel sexy. For some guys, a stag night that has a pit stop at a titty bar is just that - it makes them feel masculine and sexy even if they don't have some girl do a grind job on them. Probably more so, who wants to sit in jizz pants for the rest of the night?!?

 

Well, I think alot of men do go because it does make them feel like a man. The thing is alot of guys defend strip clubs and porn and berate women for their insecurities on it but if we are honest, the reason men go is because of the validation they get, even for a limited time from other women. And that's all about their insecurities. Isn't it ironic.

 

 

What would you think if you'd gone out with the girls and guys fawned over you for a while and you came home feeling all buzzed over how hot you must look.........and your guy got all cold fish on you because it "wasn't all for him"? Lame!

 

I might like it when guys notice me but I don't get physically aroused. It just doesn't work that way for me. I dont spend a night out and then want to jump him because of my interactions with other men.

[sally4sara]

Well Sally, I appreciate your comments from your experience even if we don't 100% agree. You given alot of sound responses.

I am sure this will suprise some but I agree with this. I also will expand on that and say that I think it's irrational and boardline abusive to tell women that they shouldn't be bothered by a man going out with this friends to ogle other women that you know he is going to find at least one he is attracted to. I think that's irrational. We make justifications why men go out and do these things but tell women to be the stronger gender and manage their gut reactions while men are allowed to go off and exploit theres.

 

This is actually why I feel some pity for the male gender. Yes we have lived a long time in a patriarchal society, but it doesn't do the male gender any favors either. It tells them they cannot control themselves, they need a woman to hold their life together for them or else they be the lesser man. Oh, and don't you dare cry about it buster! Then the unrealistic standards a woman must attain for them to pair up with her else it also be a measure of their own respectability........its a mess for them too sometimes Jersey.Do you think that idea that the standards for women being higher and still attainable isn't an implication that we might not be the weaker sex has never crossed the their subconscious? Of course it has!

 

Well, I think alot of men do go because it does make them feel like a man. The thing is alot of guys defend strip clubs and porn and berate women for their insecurities on it but if we are honest, the reason men go is because of the validation they get, even for a limited time from other women. And that's all about their insecurities. Isn't it ironic.

 

And that is just one of the ways patriarchy stifles men instead of enlightening them.

 

I might like it when guys notice me but I don't get physically aroused. It just doesn't work that way for me. I dont spend a night out and then want to jump him because of my interactions with other men.

 

I think I'm getting misread here, it isn't the guys getting me hot. Its ME getting me hot because I know I got my girl colors on and I'm just soaking it up till I get home and spend that female energy on my guy. Other guys noticeing me just confirms that my physical appearance is as I'm perceiving it. I don't even remember the who or what of the guys who notice. I just notice my effect on my surroundings and look forward to effecting more surroundings when I get home!

[Woggle]

Misconduct I have a wife and we are both faithful to each other. Honestly you come across as the type who has a man who knows what''s good for him and behaves accordingly. I am faithful because I want to be and most other women just don't do it for me the way my wife does. You probably are the type who would throw a fit if he wanted to go to the neighbors to watch a sports game or wanted to see a movie that is nt your cup of tea with some friends. With women like this a man can't do anything on his own without friction.

[AlektraClementine]

Oh. my. God.

 

OK I finally got finished reading all of it. Well, most of it.

 

Clarification - I don't give much thought to strip clubs. That said, I wouldn't want my guy getting a lap dance but a bachelor party w/o his getting a lap dance would be fine. Luckily, BF doesn't go to strip clubs.

 

Jersey - the flaw I see in your posts is that you refuse to acknowledge individual relationship guidelines and standards. You set your standards and everyone else can set theirs. You should absolutely expect your BF to stay the hell away from t*tty bars. And he should respect that. Hell, he should be the kind of guy who wouldn't DREAM of going in one. Let everyone else decide what's best for their relationship and let every other woman and man decide where they draw the line in the moral sand.

 

Another point though I'd like to touch on is the comparison between men going to strip joints and women going on platonic dates. Because I think it's an absolutely brilliant comparison. Men and women are hardwired differently. It's a "truth" universally acknowledged (if we're talking sheer mathematics and statistics) that men are more visually stimulated and women are more emotionally stimulated. That said, it stands to reason that it is an apples to apples comparison. No, they aren't technically the same thing but they are absolutely figuratively the same thing.

 

So guys (especially the ones who think strip clubs are harmless fun) - Would you consider your woman getting her "emotional variety" from platonic dating harmless? My man sure wouldn't!!! Matter of fact, I posted a thread recently regarding my attraction for another man. I've since had to cut that friendship completely off out of respect for my relationship. Tempted? Yes. Not sexually, but emotionally.

[Woggle]

Anybody who has seen women at a male strip club knows that they are just as raunchy and rowdy as men are. This business that women are purely emotional when it comes to sex is a bunch of crap.