Question for Guys 40 - 50

[soserious1]

I was not referring to you specifically, but in general to the posts on this and other threads.

 

IMO, this thread has gone wildly off topic, which is why I mentioned that the WOMEN are trying to tell us what we like.

 

the original post asked MEN what their opinion was and what followed was a flood of women telling us what men want.

 

I never mentioned older women are useless, worthless etc. and I don't think any other guy did either.

 

SO , I think it is the older women who are touchy and ready to fire, not us.

 

You cannot seriously reread this thread and tell me that the men in it have expressed their preferences for younger women without being openly degrading and demeaning in tone about older women?

[J2FT1]

You cannot seriously reread this thread and tell me that the men in it have expressed their preferences for younger women without being openly degrading and demeaning in tone about older women?

 

Nope. Why do women stay single until 40? Because they want to have fun. Ok, you can have your fun but you have to sacrafice something, and in some cases it's a family. Older women (and older men) who don't have families and wants one has no one to blame but themselves if guys their age prefer someone fertile. I know you are especially sensitive towards from your past posts, but don't take it personally.

[Balthazar]

You cannot seriously reread this thread and tell me that the men in it have expressed their preferences for younger women without being openly degrading and demeaning in tone about older women?

 

I am daunted at the prospect of rereading this thread.

 

Maybe some men have been demeaning, but I think they(as I) don't like the idea of women telling us who we should like or not like.

 

Personally, I wasn't degrading or demeaning to anyone.

[vonerik012]

You cannot seriously reread this thread and tell me that the men in it have expressed their preferences for younger women without being openly degrading and demeaning in tone about older women?

 

Read some of the threads. The men should have a "status" job, certain income, be attractive, athletic, certain height, certain college degree, generous, exciting, fun, etc.

 

But men can have NO preferences, and if they do, and if they say why, then they are misogynists. Sorry, age is very important to most men. Can we not even have that as a requirement, especially if we want a family?

 

It's like me saying "Oh you like taller men? That means you think women are better than men!" Age and height are 2 uncontrollable factors that the opposite sex takes into consideration.

 

And if you reread the thread, no man said they want a woman 25 years younger. All I ever said was there own age, or younger, which might just be a year or 2 younger but often times 10 -15 years younger. Then women post "Oh a 50 year old with an 18 year old!"

 

So if you are 40, and can land that attractive, tall, intelligent, active, athletic, exciting, funny, high earner who is 33, then go for it.

 

But nobody said anyone is guaranteed a mate, or people have to like what you have to offer. Many women focus on their career until it is too late. Many women pass on too many guys, looking for someone better. Many women divorce because they are "bored". Thats fine. Those are your decisions. But that does not mean men will completely change, and be in line to marry you, and overlook your age, body, looks, and lack of fertility. Sorry, does not work that way. Think ahead of time, lower your requirements, or stay single.

 

And SOSO, you can have any preferences you want. That does not mean you will be able to find a man that meets your requirements. Same for men.

[Jersey Shortie]

Please post your stats, asthey are way too easy to rip apart.

 

You've yet to be able to "rip" any of the information I have given. My stats come from reputable sources unlike you who makes them up out of your head.

 

 

Men can, and often do have very healthy children at 45, 55, 65. My grandpa was 65 when he had my father, and my dad was 46 when he had me..The thread is not about if men age their sperm count declines, lol

 

And my uncle was in his late 50s when he had his children and he ended up dying leaving a family of 4 to fend for themselves. Not very responsible.

 

And mens sperm does declines so much to the extent that they put their children in danger. If you want to put your own off spring into danger because of your selfish desire not to grow up, that's your choice.

 

I think men struggle with the idea that they can't live forever. And I'm sorry that you don't want to look at the reality, but the reality is that even though older men posses the ability to produce off spring, their "goods" are more damanged and aging then that of a man in his 20s or 30s. No offence to the 45 year old men here but I would be more eager to pick a mate that was in his late 20s early 30s then I would one who was 45+. (Vonerik excluded considering his over-whelming and quite scarey opinion about women in general. One can only wonder what will happen when he does get married to some poor women).

 

You think older men are a gold nugget find, a diamond in the rough. I've dated older men and men around my age and the older men I dated were feeling their biological clock. From my experience of dating older guys, I realized that I didn't want to marry an older man as much fun as they were taking me to nice places and catering to me.

 

Women simply CANNOT have children at all past a certain age. This age is about 15 years below men.

 

You're not using science to argue your point. You're using a 1940's man's fantasy.

 

Your silly stats said men over 45 have a 6 times greater chance of having an autistic kid...

 

Sweetie, they aren't "my silly stats", the are the stats of vendors who specialize in science. Do you specialize in science? .

 

 

You want to ignore the evidence. that's fine. You can keep going on being delusional, but I think most of us know the truth. I suspect with more research done, this age gap will close even more

 

It's not the 1940s anymore. Women have the option to be much more pickier in their mates and are pickier in their mates. We don't have to settle for middle aged men that can support us. We work now and can take longer to decide who we want to be with.

 

WOMEN CANNOT even conceive past a certain age. men can have a healthy kid in their 70's...BIG DIFFERENCE...Try again.

 

I never said women could conceive past a certain age. But like I said, and like science as pointed out, just because men can have children past a certain age, doesn't mean that they should. Being a responsible parent isn't having kids just because you *can*. And no offense but no man of 65-70 can offer the same childhood of that of a father of 30. And I don't know one woman that would want a 65 year old man to be the father of her child unless she was a gold-digger.

 

I am being perfectly serious but ask any medical doctor and he willl tell you it's best if both the mother and father have children sooner rather then later in life. No medical doctor is going to tell you that men should wait until their 40s to have children. This is a fact.

 

 

As for your asseration that a 70 year old man with his 70 year old sperm is goign to have just as a healthy child as one in his 30s, I don't think you are being realistic about aging in men. You're living in a fantasy world. Men get just as many wrinkles as women, men get just as many age related diseases as women. Why you think their sexual organs remain in tip top shape is completely delusional.

 

 

You cannot seriously reread this thread and tell me that the men in it have expressed their preferences for younger women without being openly degrading and demeaning in tone about older women?

 

As a "younger" woman here, I would say their talk isn't just demeaning and degrading to older women, but to women in general. Even younger women age. If the guys want women's respect, you have to give it too. It's clear that some of you here have no respect for women. Perhaps you should start dating 12 year olds now so that they will be of age when you are ready to marry.

 

 

Your age group sure have less options though, kind of like young men.

 

 

Who said younger men had less options? None of my friends, not one, is dating a man a decade older then herself. Most are within 5 years. And they are young men, their options certainly haven't been "less". I think you are living in a fantasy world if you think most older men have such great options. Sure, if your rich, I can understand. But I don't see a bunch of old men with cute young women in my everyday life or in my personal life with m yfamily and friends.

 

And I think on some level the men here think they are "better". The amount of disparaging remarks that some of the men here have made about women disgust me. But make me glad that none of the men in my life think of women as little as some of the men on the board obviously do.

 

But that does not mean men will completely change, and be in line to marry you, and overlook your age, body, looks, and lack of fertility. Sorry, does not work that way. Think ahead of time, lower your requirements, or stay single.

 

I don't overlook a man's age, body, looks, or lack of healthy sperm either. I perfer my men not to have wrinkled balls. Thanks.

[Balthazar]

Fact: A woman's ovaries are with her from birth.

Fact: A 45 year old woman has 45 year old ovaries in the oven.

Fact: A man's sperm is constantly renewed and produced in the testes.

Fact: A 45 year old man's sperm is fresh and as healthy as he is at 45.

 

Which 45 year old do YOU think is more likely to parent a "problematic" child?

[stillafool]

I don't think most women in their 40's and 50's kids or more kids. Most have already had their families and are looking for fun and companionship. I have never wanted children and have pretty much preferred younger men since I was in my late 20's. I never had a problem attracting them and my husband is 7 years younger than me. It's all a matter of choice. If you men prefer younger women - who cares???? Go and get one. There are plenty of people to go around. You are not hurting anyone here by declaring your preferences. Men will always want younger women and guess what? Women are making their own money and place in this world and are starting to prefer younger men. I know if I were a 40 year old woman who wanted kids I would much rather try with a 30 year old man than a 45 year old. I'd rather have the younger sperm. Hey but that's just me. Some women would prefer a old rich man, like Tony Randall's wife. Oh, that's right he died and left her with those little kids.

[Jersey Shortie]

Fact: A woman's ovaries are with her from birth.

Fact: A 45 year old woman has 45 year old ovaries in the oven.

Fact: A man's sperm is constantly renewed and produced in the testes.

Fact: A 45 year old man's sperm is fresh and as healthy as he is at 45.

 

Which 45 year old do YOU think is more likely to parent a "problematic" child?

 

At 45, since it takes both a man and a woman to conceive a child, I think it is both the man and the woman responsible for what problems occur. You want to play the blame game and put more of it on women, which isn't fair when it takes two people to make a child, two people are responsible. How can you ignore this logical fact?

 

I totally recongnize that a woman of 45 is going to have more issues conceiving a child. I also recongnize from the scientific data that men in their 40s are also ging to have more issues conceiving. To believe that men get better with age and women get worse is a a Hollywood fantasy you are buying into as a man.

 

Yes, a man's sperm is renewed but not near the quality it was at 25. I don't understand how you can logically recognize that men age, that men get wrinkles, that men's joints start aching just like women's into old age, that men loose their hair, that men get other age related diesease but think it's anywhere close to logical to assume that their sexual organs remain the same at 45 as they were when they were 25. That isn't logical at all. Unless you honestly believe men are aging backwards! lol. I think you need to read up on how your own body works:

 

 

So do men's sperm get staler over time? To maintain sperm levels, cells known as germ cells must continue dividing. After all, men find ways to dispose of sperm—ahem—and once ejaculated they only survive for several days. By the age of 50, these germ cells will have divided 840 times. Each one of those divisions is an opportunity for something to go wrong. "There's more of a chance to have genetic abnormalities the more the cells divide," Fisch says. In sperm these mutations dot the genes with changes in the basic structure of the DNA—and can lead to problems in the resulting offspring.

 

Bioengineer Narendra Singh of the University of Washington in Seattle and his colleagues compared the sperm of men of different ages. Sure enough, sperm in men older than 35 had more DNA damage than that from younger men. And although unhealthy sperm are supposed to commit cell suicide, some of the sperm they looked at had lost that ability to "take one for the team"—meaning they'd be around to fertilize an egg. "This may lead to offspring with defective DNA, which may translate to mental and physical defects," Singh says. Can men prevent this damage? No, but they may be able to mitigate it. There are factors within men's control that can accelerate adverse effects: alcohol, smoking, drugs and —even coffee consumption. So avoid them, says Singh.

 

Still, even after correcting for various lifestyle factors, the DNA of sperm are increasingly damaged with advancing age.-Scientific American

 

And I am sorry but why do you think older men have a harder time getting excited and maintaining erections then their younger counterparts? While we have drugs that overcome it, we can't ignore the fact that it's nature's way in slowing down older males from having children. Would you like to ignore the very real fact of the biology of our bodies on this? Can you find any other reason why older men DO have more trouble maintaiting erections and getting excited then their younger counterparts? I think since we have lived in a male domianted society for generations, men have bought into the idea that they have no expiration date. The truth is, you do , just like women. That's life. It's not a bad thing. Just don't think you can demean women for something you experience as well.

 

I think you are ignoring the scientifc data.

[Capricciosa]

Why do hate women so much?

 

 

Combining a few ongoing threads at LS, you can see what ideas a lot of modern women have.

 

1. They are in their 40's and 50's , yet look 20 years younger.

 

2. They are obese, yet this passes as "athletic".

 

These women are clearly delusional, and yet criticize men who clearly states their preferences for younger, lighter women....

 

It becomes clear after a while on LS that fat,40 and 50 years olds....um..sorry.... athletic , youthful looking 40 and 50 year old women are where its at.

And by the way, through the miracles or modern medicine, they can have kids at 70!

 

Now that is a sight to behold!

 

Ok guys , I'm persuaded.

 

I will give up the thin, 22 - 33 year olds I like(not).

 

That it ladies, continue telling us what we like, this is getting funnier by the post...

[soserious1]

Read some of the threads. The men should have a "status" job, certain income, be attractive, athletic, certain height, certain college degree, generous, exciting, fun, etc.

 

But men can have NO preferences, and if they do, and if they say why, then they are misogynists. Sorry, age is very important to most men. Can we not even have that as a requirement, especially if we want a family?

 

It's like me saying "Oh you like taller men? That means you think women are better than men!" Age and height are 2 uncontrollable factors that the opposite sex takes into consideration.

 

And if you reread the thread, no man said they want a woman 25 years younger. All I ever said was there own age, or younger, which might just be a year or 2 younger but often times 10 -15 years younger. Then women post "Oh a 50 year old with an 18 year old!"

 

So if you are 40, and can land that attractive, tall, intelligent, active, athletic, exciting, funny, high earner who is 33, then go for it.

 

But nobody said anyone is guaranteed a mate, or people have to like what you have to offer. Many women focus on their career until it is too late. Many women pass on too many guys, looking for someone better. Many women divorce because they are "bored". Thats fine. Those are your decisions. But that does not mean men will completely change, and be in line to marry you, and overlook your age, body, looks, and lack of fertility. Sorry, does not work that way. Think ahead of time, lower your requirements, or stay single.

 

And SOSO, you can have any preferences you want. That does not mean you will be able to find a man that meets your requirements. Same for men.

 

 

 

I don't wish to marry again and have no desire to assume any sort of responsibilty for step-children.I've had the "family" thing where I had to give up all my hopes and desires to care take for others and I'm not interested in going down that road again.

 

If this means I can't find somebody I feel is worth dating and who feels the same about me, I'll gladly stay single.

[Alma Mobley]

To be honest, I have lurked here on LS for about two months before I started posting. (Standard procedure for me -- I like to get a feel for boards before I start posting.)

 

There does seem to be some some animosity towards older women -- as though they should accept their fate as being useless and go off quietly. I find that disturbing. I have no idea where this springs from.

 

Soserious, I have read your threads and I feel for you. I hope you find a way to separate from your husband without losing too much of your retirement. I hope you hired a really mean lawyer and have evidence of your husband's porn use and his neglect of you.

 

No matter what these young guys say, you are not doomed to never meet someone else who can keep up with you. I am sure there are men within your age group (plus or minus 10 years) who would love to share the same activities. The guys posting here about older women are in their 20s and possibly 30s. Their opinions don't count. (This goes to the OP as well.)

 

I am 36, and even I am getting sick of the garbage posted here, as though women over 35 should remove themselves from the dating pool as to not offend their sensibilities, lol!

 

Good luck to you, soserious, and you too, eyeofthoth.

[vonerik012]

Jersey, I am not sure if you even understand statistics...Millions of men in their 50's have perfectly healthy children. You definitely cannot say that for 50 year old women, lol.. It's impossible.

 

Ok, what about this...

 

African Americans have a 6 times great chance of having a kid with sickle cell anemia.. Are you suggesting they should not breed?

 

Ashkenazi Jews have a 100 times greater chance of having a kid with Tay Sachs disease.. Are you suggesting they should not breed?

 

Trying to make the case that men and women have the same biological clocks is completely silly.

 

Oh, am i a woman hater now for pointing out facts?

 

Jersey, lol... Oh you THINK it is both the man and womans fault.. LOL Great... An expert opinion.. Sorry, you happen to be wrong.

[soserious1]

To be honest, I have lurked here on LS for about two months before I started posting. (Standard procedure for me -- I like to get a feel for boards before I start posting.)

 

There does seem to be some some animosity towards older women -- as though they should accept their fate as being useless and go off quietly. I find that disturbing. I have no idea where this springs from.

 

Soserious, I have read your threads and I feel for you. I hope you find a way to separate from your husband without losing too much of your retirement. I hope you hired a really mean lawyer and have evidence of your husband's porn use and his neglect of you.

 

No matter what these young guys say, you are not doomed to never meet someone else who can keep up with you. I am sure there are men within your age group (plus or minus 10 years) who would love to share the same activities. The guys posting here about older women are in their 20s and possibly 30s. Their opinions don't count. (This goes to the OP as well.)

 

I am 36, and even I am getting sick of the garbage posted here, as though women over 35 should remove themselves from the dating pool as to not offend their sensibilities, lol!

 

Good luck to you, soserious, and you too, eyeofthoth.

 

 

My husband will be receiving every dime he's entitled to in our divorce. He's going to be moving, I'm just counting the days till Sept 15th. I'll be taking on a housemate to help ease my expenses since I'll be paying alimony.

 

At this point in time I'm just tired and sad,kicking myself for choosing so poorly, I should never have married him, it was a mistake I'll be paying for

till I die.

[Jersey Shortie]

I recongnize that it takes both a man and a woman to conceive a child. I expect both sides to take equal responsiblity. It's ridiculous to think that only women are to blame for any negative aspects. If you are going to think that then anything good that came out of a child should be credited to the mother as well.

 

You don't want to look realistically at the facts. Ask any doctor and no doctor will tell you it's best if a man waits until his 40s to have children. Not one. Any woman that wants children, is better off picking a man that has healthy sperm in his younger age then one who is older.

 

Why you think a man's sexual organs is lucky enough to not age while the rest of him is, is not logical! Men age just like women do I'm sorry.

[Alma Mobley]

I'm sorry to hear that, Soserious. Did you document his neglect of you? His threats to have you committed for just wanting sex within your marriage? I think you need a really mean lawyer on this one.

[bish]

Does a woman's age as a number only really matter to you?

 

Yes, it matters quite a bit to me. I am 39 and don't want to date anyone +/- roughly 5 to 6 years from myself.

 

Why? I want someone I can grow old with. I can't grow old with someone 10+ years my senior or junior.

 

And we all may look good up to a certain age no matter what the age difference, but there will come a time when one party really starts looking old while the other looks relatively young. I don't want to date someone that could be my mother or my daughter.

 

 

I am hot, no lie.

 

I'm sure you are. Now go have that arm looked at by a physician.

 

 

I have a great body and fortunate genetics. Also I am very healthy and come from a really long-lived family (both grandmothers lived to be 100), so it is starting to make sense to me to stick to the younger guys.

 

I'm sure you think so, and the younger guys will respond. But give it 10 years, and it may not be so mutual for the younger guys.

 

 

But I am worried this guy will be taken aback when he finds out how old I really am.

 

Probably not, but most people who date someone much older or younger only live in the present and don't look to the future.

 

 

My thought is that the more mature and deeper people are not that interested in a number

 

I'm sure you want to believe that we that do see age as significant are immature and not "deep". Nice try.

 

I consider my self more mature for wanting to stick with women my own age because I look to the future. I ask myself...can I grow old with this person? if the answer is no, then no sense in wasting her time or mine.

 

 

When I see men's profiles on on-line sites it seems that 95% of them are looking for younger women.

 

thats because they are superficial hypocrites.

[vonerik012]

It's funny... Older women NOW want to think "Age is just a number"

 

Well, is a man's height just a number?

 

Is his income just a number?

 

If the last 2 are not "just numbers", then why should your age be?

[shadowplay]

I've never seen somebody who looks twenty years younger than they are but I have, on very rare occasions, seen 10-15 years younger.

 

Actress Alison Lohman, for example, is almost 30 but could pass for 16-17.

 

Stacey Dash is another good example. She's 42 but looks about 32. In fact she was 30 years old when she played a high schooler in Clueless.

 

Jared Leto is 37 but looks about 25-28.

 

So there are exceptions, and it has more to do with genes than lifestyle choices. But staying out of the sun is also key.

 

I notice that women hit a wall of age around 45. I have never seen a woman past that age who could pass for ten years younger. Maybe it has to do with the onset of menopause.

[carhill]

I notice that women hit a wall of age around 45. I have never seen a woman past that age who could pass for ten years younger. Maybe it has to do with the onset of menopause.

Hey Shadow...here's a picture of one of my road crews. Guess who's the oldest and how many in the picture are under 45.

 

I think you'll find that taking care of your skin from a young age (like using moisturizers, sunblock, avoiding direct sunlight and getting facials), along with avoiding smoking and drinking in moderation and eating a healthy diet will help you "appear" younger for many years. Genetics helps, but lifestyle is really important.

[Jersey Shortie]

I don't want to date someone that could be my mother or my daughter.

 

 

Perfectly resonable. Perhaps it's the way Bish addressed the topic at hand, but he managed to state his preferences without having to tear women down in the process.

[vonerik012]

Come on...

 

Just as many women are posting, ripping on older men as being boring, not fertile, out of shape, couch potatoes..

 

Older men prefer women their age or younger, and they can easily obtain that. Thats life.

 

Any 40 year old can even go abroad and marry a beautiful, younger , intelligent woman.

 

Worse case scenario? She is using him.. Well, its not like American women aren't expecting a man to take care of them either..

[twice_shy]

Hey Shadow...here's a picture of one of my road crews. Guess who's the oldest and how many in the picture are under 45.

 

 

They all look 45 or older. If the idea is that one of them looks younger than they are, I aint seein it.

[twice_shy]

Age isn't a big deal until one side gets towards 60 and over.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

The reality is that people do look younger these days. Healthier living, sunscreen, office jobs vs. working out in the fields.....

 

Most people are surprised when I tell them I'm 35. Truly surprised. If I meet a guy in a bar, I make sure he knows how old I am because I don't want him taking me out thinking he's got a younger woman on his hands if that's not what he wants. A lot of my friends are like this. I have an Indian friend who is 38 and looks 10 years younger. People can't believe she's 38. She has not one wrinkle.

 

My question is, why are people so offended by a woman who claims she looks younger than she is? Youth is obviously a desriable quality, so why wouldn't people want to be seen as younger than their chronological age?

 

If I knew someone who thought they looked younger and I did not agree, I would just think to myself, well, that's not the way I see it. Would I be PERSONALLY offended by that? No. Are some posters on this thread PERSONALLY offended by this? It sure seems so.

 

Why do they need to cut these women down? I think it says a whole lot more about them than these poor women.

[Jersey Shortie]

Come on...

 

Just as many women are posting, ripping on older men as being boring, not fertile, out of shape, couch potatoes..

 

You're the last man here that has any right to complain about that.

 

And if older men are being ripped on, did you ever think it could have something to with the nasty comments from the likes of you and some company.

 

 

Older men prefer women their age or younger, and they can easily obtain that. Thats life.

 

I think when it comes to love, it's not easy for anyone. And to think an older man can have a younger woman by default that he is older and she is younger shows me you have a lot to learn about life. Hell, I'M YOUNGER then you and I can see that. I have had older men hit on me and I flat out reject them. All the time! I can only imagine how many times they get rejected.

 

I don't want to be with someone well into their 40s. We won't be at the point in our lives..and if we were, I would be asking myself what a 40 year old man was doing being in the same point in his life as me. That's life. That's reality.

 

Not one of my friends is dating on anyone older themselves. Infact, the only couple I can list that I know that have a 15 year age gap is my own parents. And if you asked my mom what age man she thinks I should marry, she hopes it will be someone within close age range to myself. She has been to the circus and seen the puppet show and knows the reality of marrying someone older then herself. She loves my father but there are difference unfair to her because of their age gap that she doesn't want me to deal with.

 

You want to ignore biology Vonerik, that's your business. But most of get that men age right along with women.

 

While your life experience is that the men in your family all married someone younger, there are others that have had a different life experience. You refuse to acknowledge that and that is your downfall. You also refuse to talk about the subject with any kind of common sense, respect and anything like I would expect a "real man" should. You should take some lessons from Bish perhaps.

 

Any 40 year old can even go abroad and marry a beautiful, younger , intelligent woman.

 

Yeah, good luck with that. Mail order brides are all about the love and not anything about the money. I usually find that 40 year old men that have to abroad to marry are considered lesser men for it and made to be jokes in most cases.