noforgiveness Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 You make it sound like the two of them are having sex in the same room with the W watching the whole thing go down. These are your own feelings of uneasiness but in terms of what they are doing the W doens't even know, and she IS going to die so why pevent this man from finding love again? How selfish can a person be? Of course he can find love again but with his wifes careGIVER SO MUCH SO UNDER HER KNOWS THAT HER DAD COULD TELL????? tHAT IS MORALLY AND ETHICALLY WRONG. Do you not think she would be fired if her company found out. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Well not necessarily some people are more humble than that, they are not so selfrighteous that they would unrealistically expect their mates to stop their life for them while they watch them die. So what if she is in this state for 8 yrs the man is supposed to become a monk for 8 yrs? That is totally unrealistic and selfish to expect that of a partner. Of course, but it doesn't have to be in the dying woman's face, does it? By having her care giver be that person to provide her H with his needs? Or if she does, at least the W doesn't need to know, does she? THAT is a good reason, aside from preserving her career, for the OP to remove herself from this case. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 oh please are you really saying you have to be an emotionally damaged person to find sleeping with your dying patients husband wrong?? Not only is wrong morally but it is totally UNPROFESSIONAL and UNETHICAL. Emotionally damanged and selfish. I would definitely agree. Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 It's so nice that christopher reeve had such a loving wife. Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Emotionally damanged and selfish. I would definitely agree. No what is emotionally damaged is being so selfish as to sleep with your dying patients husband. I am astounded that you find nothing wrong with this. You do not think it is unprofessional and unethical to sleep with a patients husband? WOW. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Of course he can find love again but with his wifes careGIVER SO MUCH SO UNDER HER KNOWS THAT HER DAD COULD TELL????? tHAT IS MORALLY AND ETHICALLY WRONG. Do you not think she would be fired if her company found out. Don't you think ANYONE would be fired it they were found out to be fraternising with coworkers, patients, clients, etc.? Look people find love all the time in places that do not encourage love connections, if you were sanction everyone where would that leave our workforce? If the womam was not dying I would have a big problem with this, since she is dying I don't . Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Fault me?!?!? It would be my life so you can't fault me for making my own choice. No need for that premable OWL. It is NOT your life. It's the dying woman's life. Again you are making sound like the H and this woman are in the room fkcing infront of the ill woman. It's your own insecurities speaking as I am sure they are being respectful NOT to do anything to inconvenience the dying woman. If others who haven't seen them "in the room fcking in front of" them notice, the W is surely going to notice as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 No what is emotionally damaged is being so selfish as to sleep with your dying patients husband. I am astounded that you find nothing wrong with this. You do not think it is unprofessional and unethical to sleep with a patients husband? WOW. Listen they have a deep emotionl tie and she is being there for him now when he needs support most I don't have a problem with that, no. I find your repetitive diatribe here far mor unethical than that. Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Listen they have a deep emotionl tie and she is being there for him now when he needs support most I don't have a problem with that, no. :rolleyes: an ethical and professional caregiver would not allow herself to have a deep emotional tie with her patients husband. Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 If the womam was not dying I would have a big problem with this, since she is dying I don't . wow just wow. He's fair game the wife is as good as dead. What a sick society we live in. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 It is NOT your life. It's the dying woman's life. They are not fking infront of her face, if she has no clue then what's the problem here, other than your own personal insecurities speaking for this woman who more than likely has no clue? If others who haven't seen them "in the room fcking in front of" them notice, the W is surely going to notice as well. They don't want to hide it from others since they plan on being together but they hide from the W. Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 They are not fking infront of her face, if she has no clue then what's the problem here, other than your own personal insecurities speaking for this woman who more than likely has no clue? They don't want to hide it from others since they plan on being together but they hide from the W. oh please if the dad discovered it then the wife surely could tell. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 I don't have time to read all the posts on this thread, but I wanted to share this story I had a friend that was terminally ill and had a live in nurse. Her H married the nurse after she passed away. They are still married, but neither side or their families will have anything to do with them including his own children. I mention this because after she passed away, there are still people alive that love her and thought what her H did was unforgivable. Since I was friends with is wife, I'm also friends with her family and years later, they still hate the H and his wife (the nurse). I can't see that ever changing because of the love they will always have for my friend in life and after. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 wow just wow. He's fair game the wife is as good as dead. What a sick society we live in. well yes death does have a lot to do with it, meaning she is going to leave this world never coming back and the man automatically earns the title of widdow like it or not he loses his W, lover, friend, partner etc. WHY not allow the man to find love again? So what he should kick this oportunity in the teeth and then the W dies and he is left alone and having to deal with the trauma on his own becuase other women may not want to take on the burden of being with a man this freshly out of losing a W and he has to suffer just to pleast some stupid moral standard stipulated by people like YOU who have nothing better to do than to criticise other people's choices? Yeah makes perfect sense! NOT. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 What are you god that you have exact dates and times? No. So let's not use examples as if we were playing god. My answer stays the same provided I am paralized and can no longer function as a sexual being my answer stays the same, one year two years, 2 months. Fault me?!?!? It would be my life so you can't fault me for making my own choice. No need for that premable OWL. Again you are making sound like the H and this woman are in the room fkcing infront of the ill woman. It's your own insecurities speaking as I am sure they are being respectful NOT to do anything to inconvenience the dying woman. See above, it's a moral choice. I'm sorry that I made you feel so defensive. I thought my questions were pretty simple and straightforward...and didn't include "being God" anywhere in there. It was a simple..."if this were the situation" (which is much closer to what the OP wrote than YOUR analogy, I might add), what would you do. Simple question...defensive non response. Got it. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 They are not fking infront of her face, if she has no clue then what's the problem here, other than your own personal insecurities speaking for this woman who more than likely has no clue? They don't want to hide it from others since they plan on being together but they hide from the W. I have to wonder why you always pull out a personal dig when someone doesn't agree with you? Link to post Share on other sites
pelicanpreacher Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 WHY in the world would you do that? She fell in love with the man and his W is dying. Can you accept their reality or is he supposed to become a monk recluse and deal with the pain of the loss of his friend, wife and lover all on his own and in some dark corner? They didn't kill this woman to be together, god is taking her away. Unless you can truly empathise with ALL the people in the situation really all you are doing is spewing the same recorded message every time. Mehhh whatev, you're entitled to your opinion and it seems to be the same cookie cutter opinion regardless of the sitatuation. When you are that one dimensional you become android-like so why even try to discuss something with a robot, it is programmed to have one track and one track only. Any professional who must abide by a code of ethics knows that the mere appearance of impropriety resulting from actions spawned by a conflict of interests can be problematic to their career and professional reputation which is why a Health Professional doesn't date their patients, Lawyers don't date their clients, and etc.. while engaged for services. Is it so difficult to see as far into the future as tomorrow to recognize that? If the OP and the MM wish to pursue a personally intimate relationship then a professional decision to recuse oneself from continuing the performance of duties for the parapallegic and terminally ill spouse shouldn't be that hard a decision to come to especially since there are other jobs and other parapalegics or terminally ill individuals available for her time and attention elsewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 I'm sorry that I made you feel so defensive. I thought my questions were pretty simple and straightforward...and didn't include "being God" anywhere in there. It was a simple..."if this were the situation" (which is much closer to what the OP wrote than YOUR analogy, I might add), what would you do. Simple question...defensive non response. Got it. Thanks. It's always the same old same old, Owl. I think you and I have ascertained that fact many times over. Always a personal dig and sarcasm. So very productive. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 I'm sorry that I made you feel so defensive. I thought my questions were pretty simple and straightforward...and didn't include "being God" anywhere in there. It was a simple..."if this were the situation" (which is much closer to what the OP wrote than YOUR analogy, I might add), what would you do. Simple question...defensive non response. Got it. Thanks. And I answered your simple question with a simple answer. My views would not change. What defensive? Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 :laugh::laugh::laugh:. Always a personal dig and sarcasm. :lmao::lmao::lmao: :laugh::laugh::laugh: That one made me laugh so hard! LOOK WHO IS TALKING :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::laugh::laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Um, the only digs were made by you, TC. It's clear for everyone to see. Link to post Share on other sites
beraldi21 Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Im sorry if this is brutal but you have crossed a professional boundary. If you are a registered nurse you are breaching your code of conduct and risk being struck off if caught and reported.In my opinion rightly so. What you are doing is moraly wrong, if you want to continue this relationship then you must back off from her nursing care. How do you know he is not having sex with any off the other carers. You are bang out of order. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Um, the only digs were made by you, TC. It's clear for everyone to see. In THIS thread you didn't, and you manged to behave for 4 posts I AM amazed indeed. But here let's click on your back posts shall we? Don't make me laugh Luvmy. :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao: You of ALL people really have some nerve making a comment like that you REALLY do :laugh::laugh::laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 well yes death does have a lot to do with it, meaning she is going to leave this world never coming back and the man automatically earns the title of widdow like it or not he loses his W, lover, friend, partner etc. WHY not allow the man to find love again? So what he should kick this oportunity in the teeth and then the W dies and he is left alone and having to deal with the trauma on his own becuase other women may not want to take on the burden of being with a man this freshly out of losing a W and he has to suffer just to pleast some stupid moral standard stipulated by people like YOU who have nothing better to do than to criticise other people's choices? Yeah makes perfect sense! NOT. What about the rest of the family and everyone else that cares about his wife? How are they going to feel when they find out that the person who was hired and paid to take care of a dying woman was involved with her husband? Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 well yes death does have a lot to do with it, meaning she is going to leave this world never coming back and the man automatically earns the title of widdow like it or not he loses his W, lover, friend, partner etc. WHY not allow the man to find love again? So what he should kick this oportunity in the teeth and then the W dies and he is left alone and having to deal with the trauma on his own becuase other women may not want to take on the burden of being with a man this freshly out of losing a W and he has to suffer just to pleast some stupid moral standard stipulated by people like YOU who have nothing better to do than to criticise other people's choices? Yeah makes perfect sense! NOT. shocking just shocking. People like me?? Um not a single person do I know that would think sleeping with your dying patients husband is ok. Forget the morals it is PROFESSIONALLY wrong too. People like me? What people with a councious who wouldn't ever consider doing something like this. OMG it is wrong on so many levels and the sad part is the OP knows this and here you all are actually condoning it. Link to post Share on other sites
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