Outcast Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 Oh Wik what a GREAT post! So nice to hear the voice of reason And good on you for deciding to be great and being great Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 Some older guy approached me tonight and tried to present himself as wealthy (was showing me pics from his recent vacation). I couldn't even bear his presence. Even if he had billions (I doubt he has anything, but that's not teh point), I couldn't even have a cup of coffee with him. :sick: Goldpile? You on holiday in Europe again? Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 Goldpile? You on holiday in Europe again? :lmao: :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
noclobber Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 More important then money, more important the job, more important then your car, more important then even the girl you do or do not have. That thing is YOU! Three cheers to you Wiksta Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nomad Posted October 21, 2005 Author Share Posted October 21, 2005 OK, wow. This is a lot. I thank everybody for their posts whether I agree with them or not. I value your feeback greatly. A couple of things. First, we live in a looks-driven society. The guy with the best looks gets the most girls. Period. That's a fact. It's not true 100 PERCENT of the time, but ON AVERAGE, that's the way it goes down. Our response to a pretty face is deeply rooted in evolution & brain structure. It's an unfortunate fact of society & simply denying it isn't going to change anything. Second, I never thought of myself as ugly until I reached college and beyond and people started telling me I was ugly and getting all kinds of negative feedback on my looks and being rejected by girls left and right. So this was NOT a pre-conceived notion of mine: it's a fact proven by experience. I'm sorry but I will not go the distance and post a picture...I wish to maintain anonymity. Third, there ARE ugly people in the world. There just are, just like there are poor people in the world. It's just the way it is. Looks are not ENTIRELY subjective, i.e. solely a matter of personal taste. Ask ten people on the street who's better looking, Jay Leno or Brad Pitt, probably nine out of ten are gonna say Brad Pitt. Fourth, I've hit on many girls and been rejected. If having the nerve to walk up to a girl and hit on her doesn't display confidence, I don't know what does. She looks at me and thinks "I could get a better-looking guy than THAT" and rejects me. I've also posted about online dating. Seven months in and I have yet to get a SINGLE date. The vast majority of girls send no response whatsoever to my emails. That doesn't happen to good-looking guys. Once again, I appreciate the feedback and I hope to hear more. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 First, we live in a looks-driven society. The guy with the best looks gets the most girls. Period But the guy with the best looks is not guaranteed a happy, lasting relationship. Nor is the gal with the best looks. Just have a look at Hollywood and you'll see the truth in spades. Looks are not ENTIRELY subjective, i.e. solely a matter of personal taste. Ask ten people on the street who's better looking, Jay Leno or Brad Pitt, probably nine out of ten are gonna say Brad Pitt However Jay Leno has a wife who adores him and they've been married for years. She's a bright, attractive, very accomplished woman and she's mad about him. And Brad? He's ditched one 'gorgeous' wife for another and who knows how many more he'll have. Is this your ideal life - going from woman to woman to woman your whole life? She looks at me and thinks "I could get a better-looking guy than THAT" and rejects me. You don't know that. You may come off as angry or bitter or any one of a number of unpleasant things that are unattractive. If you were charming and friendly, your looks wouldn't matter except to some of the shallower girls. I've also posted about online dating. Seven months in and I have yet to get a SINGLE date. The vast majority of girls send no response whatsoever to my emails. That doesn't happen to good-looking guys. Again, I bet it has to do with your profile. Everybody loves somebody. People think MICK JAGGER is good-looking for heaven's sakes! Lots of 'em. And the majority of women will tell you that looks mean zilch if the personality and brain are nothing great. I've also posted about online dating. Seven months in and I have yet to get a SINGLE date. The vast majority of girls send no response whatsoever to my emails. That doesn't happen to good-looking guys. Did you even read what the Wiksta wrote??? Link to post Share on other sites
LexiB Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 Ask ten people on the street who's better looking, Jay Leno or Brad Pitt, probably nine out of ten are gonna say Brad Pitt. However Jay Leno has a wife who adores him and they've been married for years. She's a bright, attractive, very accomplished woman and she's mad about him. And Brad? He's ditched one 'gorgeous' wife for another and who knows how many more he'll have. Is this your ideal life - going from woman to woman to woman your whole life? Good point Outcast. And you know as handsome as Brad pitt is, just from seeing his interviews, something tells me he's got the personality of a pet rock. Don't think he'd be good for anything other than arm candy...tasty candy...but it wouldn't last! BTW, don't know about Mick jagger, but I've always had a thing for Steven Tyler though! Now, Nomad, you say girls reject you when you approach them. If you're talking about girls you approach at random I completely believe this and understand it. The thing is, that though I am not very demanding in the looks dept., if approached by some guy in the mall while I'm trying to shop, for example or at the gym, odds are the answer will be (a polite ) "No" unless I'm physically attracted. As I said before, personality is much more important to me than looks, but in situations like these--when I'm busy--the guy would have to be able to display his dazzling wit and charm within a matter of seconds to catch my attention.. Obviously this way of dating/meeting women doesn't work for everyone. SO, Since you say you're not outwardly attractive and random enounters are usually judged by appearance since they're so brief, aiming to become friends first is prob. your best bet. Having platonic relationships with the opposite sex--on more than just a "hi/bye" level--will help strengthen your "skills". It could even attract other women to you--it's hard for us not to notice a guy who's good friends with a female (don't ask me why, that's just nature I guess:p ) Friendship also gives you the opportuntiy to let who you are really be known. This means there's a good chance of you being able to take one of your "friendships" to the next level. Don't give up hope. You don't have to settle for anything less than what you deserve. You just have to go at it a different way:cool: Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 I've always had a thing for Steven Tyler though! And you make my point perfectly. I think he's ugly as sin. I also think Angelina Jolie is freaky-looking with those excessively large lips. To each his own! Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 You should become a comedian. Not very fun to look at but funny as hell. If you make it big, you can get any chick you want. Link to post Share on other sites
LexiB Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 If you make it big, you can get any chick you want. oh so true..how else did Donald trump end up with Milania (sp?) But I still dont see how Jermaine Dupree got Janet Jackson???? Link to post Share on other sites
jaye Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 I would go for #2 without question. My quality of life depends on my happiness and happiness isn't automatic with money. Who says money can't buy you happiness? Well..maybe it can't, but it can get you an original light saber and that's pretty dämn close.... Link to post Share on other sites
jaye Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 Right on Hooghie!! Indian women are notoriously materialistic!!!! The 2 women that gave me the apartment and car crap were both Indian. I usually don't go after them, even in the university i had mostly American female friends, not Indian women. These two fell in love with me (i dunno how) and then backed off for the said reasons.. anyway i am now trying to date American women and women from other countries. atleast they r more open and honest. but i had some bad experience with an American woman as well (recently). if u r interested u can read it here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=71209 to make a long story short she and i hung out, i asked her number and she gave it to me, we went for lunch, dinner, movies, ball-games... she took me to her apartment, sends email / text messages every single day, in the train she will sit only with me... blah blah blah blah.... after nearly 2 months of this crap i learnt that she has a long-distance boyfriend!!!!!!!!!!!! i got burnt and gutted right there.... keyword here is "learnt"... she never told me about him.. some people r so sh*tty they stink so f*ckin bad!!! Big time losers.. F*cking small time self-centered b*stards!! i did ask that woman about it and she told that it was "on again, off again" relationship... i don't know what the f*ck that means as i am from India and very very new to the American dating scene.. I think above could be solved, only if both genders especially women can just tell the other that he or she is not interested in dating. Link to post Share on other sites
noclobber Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 I think above could be solved, only if both genders especially women can just tell the other that he or she is not interested in dating. I agree Jaye.. i think the signs that both the genders give out can be very misleading. Now i am not blaming that woman completely but i do believe that she lead me on on some level.. A woman may be touchy touchy, give her number, go out with u and still not be interested in u. Same goes with men.. he may shower u with compliments, take u places, sleep with u and still not be interested. It cuts both ways... unfortunately i don't think there will ever be a clear cut answer to this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 Alpha : post after post after post and you are still saying the SAME thing ! Your post : 1. $$$$ 2. Looks 3. Confidence 4. Personality (e.g. funny/witty That is such ****. $$$$ is number # 4. I have went out with men who had money and found them to be BORING and ARROGANT not to MENTION the fact that you have to visualize at some point kissing and laying in bed with them and if there is NO chemistry its NOT going to happen. RP said is very well #1 is Personality ! Thats what YOU are SOOOOO missing here ! Thats the key. He can have the bucks but if he is lacking in being a HUMAN BEING and treated me right , then its a NO GO ! #2 Confidence is # 2. He has to know what he wants and how to treat me IN and OUT of the bed # Looks come in # 3 tied with # 1 but you have to move your standards around unless they are butt ugly . Most men can be attractive in many ways . Hair , eyes , smile , the list goes on but you have to find them attractive in *some* way but I dont put looks first. He can be very handsome but a JERk so looks get a 3 I should ask : Alpha are you considered handsome ? Are you considered well off financially ? How do women ( overall ) in your personal life rate your Personality ? You seem transfixed on : Yea in order for the guy to be successful with chicks he has to have a BMW and looks and blah blah... THe question is : Do you feel you lack in those areas ?? Get over it ! Work on your personality or you will be posting here when you are old and grey and wondering why chicks dont hang with you very long . Where are you GETTING all this negative crapppyola from ? Its not the REAL world , the one you are living in . where you constantly compare yourself to other men and what they have and how they have all the hotties. Get your OWN hottie ! Keep her ! And report back how WRONG you were ) Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 Alpha : post after post after post and you are still saying the SAME thing ! Your post : 1. $$$$ 2. Looks 3. Confidence 4. Personality (e.g. funny/witty That is such ****. $$$$ is number # 4. I have went out with men who had money and found them to be BORING and ARROGANT not to MENTION the fact that you have to visualize at some point kissing and laying in bed with them and if there is NO chemistry its NOT going to happen. RP said is very well #1 is Personality ! Thats what YOU are SOOOOO missing here ! Thats the key. He can have the bucks but if he is lacking in being a HUMAN BEING and treated me right , then its a NO GO ! #2 Confidence is # 2. He has to know what he wants and how to treat me IN and OUT of the bed # Looks come in # 3 tied with # 1 but you have to move your standards around unless they are butt ugly . Most men can be attractive in many ways . Hair , eyes , smile , the list goes on but you have to find them attractive in *some* way but I dont put looks first. He can be very handsome but a JERk so looks get a 3 I should ask : Alpha are you considered handsome ? Are you considered well off financially ? How do women ( overall ) in your personal life rate your Personality ? You seem transfixed on : Yea in order for the guy to be successful with chicks he has to have a BMW and looks and blah blah... THe question is : Do you feel you lack in those areas ?? Get over it ! Work on your personality or you will be posting here when you are old and grey and wondering why chicks dont hang with you very long . Where are you GETTING all this negative crapppyola from ? Its not the REAL world , the one you are living in . where you constantly compare yourself to other men and what they have and how they have all the hotties. Get your OWN hottie ! Keep her ! And report back how WRONG you were ) You are obviously one of the exceptions... Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 You are obviously one of the exceptions... No. You are willing to view women like Mary3 as "exceptions." Rather, you take the exceptions as the rule. Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 No. You are willing to view women like Mary3 as "exceptions." Rather' date=' you take the exceptions as the rule.[/quote'] Let me rephrase that for you... Yes. I am willing to view women like Mary3 as "exceptions." Rather, I do not take the exceptions as the rule. Exceptions cannot be the rule otherwise they wouldn't be exceptions. Link to post Share on other sites
noclobber Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 Alpha : post after post after post and you are still saying the SAME thing ! Your post : 1. $$$$ 2. Looks 3. Confidence 4. Personality (e.g. funny/witty That is such ****. $$$$ is number # 4. I have went out with men who had money and found them to be BORING and ARROGANT not to MENTION the fact that you have to visualize at some point kissing and laying in bed with them and if there is NO chemistry its NOT going to happen. RP said is very well #1 is Personality ! Thats what YOU are SOOOOO missing here ! Thats the key. He can have the bucks but if he is lacking in being a HUMAN BEING and treated me right , then its a NO GO ! #2 Confidence is # 2. He has to know what he wants and how to treat me IN and OUT of the bed # Looks come in # 3 tied with # 1 but you have to move your standards around unless they are butt ugly . Most men can be attractive in many ways . Hair , eyes , smile , the list goes on but you have to find them attractive in *some* way but I dont put looks first. He can be very handsome but a JERk so looks get a 3 I should ask : Alpha are you considered handsome ? Are you considered well off financially ? How do women ( overall ) in your personal life rate your Personality ? You seem transfixed on : Yea in order for the guy to be successful with chicks he has to have a BMW and looks and blah blah... THe question is : Do you feel you lack in those areas ?? Get over it ! Work on your personality or you will be posting here when you are old and grey and wondering why chicks dont hang with you very long . Where are you GETTING all this negative crapppyola from ? Its not the REAL world , the one you are living in . where you constantly compare yourself to other men and what they have and how they have all the hotties. Get your OWN hottie ! Keep her ! And report back how WRONG you were ) Mary3, ur answer is great but i do think there is a grain of truth in what Alpha is trying to convey. in the real world how u look, how much money u make, what car u drive do make a big impact. to say otherwise wud imply that we r living in an ideal world and not the real. don't women put up with the jerk behavior of some great looking or rich guy? now i am not saying that the female went out with him because he treated her like crap. i am saying that she will continue hanging out with him despite being treated like crap b'cos the guy has other things to offer such as money, cars, expensive dinners.... i may be wrong but this is what i am seeing. Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 Mary3, ur answer is great but i do think there is a grain of truth in what Alpha is trying to convey. in the real world how u look, how much money u make, what car u drive do make a big impact. to say otherwise wud imply that we r living in an ideal world and not the real. don't women put up with the jerk behavior of some great looking or rich guy? now i am not saying that the female went out with him because he treated her like crap. i am saying that she will continue hanging out with him despite being treated like crap b'cos the guy has other things to offer such as money, cars, expensive dinners.... i may be wrong but this is what i am seeing. And, once again, this is why Mary3 is an EXCEPTION. Link to post Share on other sites
LexiB Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 Let me rephrase that for you... Yes. I am willing to view women like Mary3 as "exceptions." Rather, I do not take the exceptions as the rule. Exceptions cannot be the rule otherwise they wouldn't be exceptions. I think he meant that the women you think are "exceptions" should really be thought of as the rule. just my thought... Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 I think he meant that the women you think are "exceptions" should really be thought of as the rule. just my thought... *sigh* JHC! The exceptions cannot be thought of as the rule because they AREN'T! Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 SF, you assume that a minority of women is representative of all women. While most women are not like that. You basically believe that the minority is a majority. Thus you give what in a practical sense is the exception, the status of normalcy. And thus delude yourself that what in a practical sense is normal, is the exception. What is so hard to understand about that? Link to post Share on other sites
LexiB Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 *sigh* JHC! The exceptions cannot be thought of as the rule because they AREN'T! whoa...calm down:confused: ok, exceptions are exception, rules are rules, yes. one can not be the other--I GET you. But IDEALY, the ppl who are looked at as rare or unusual (the exceptions) [I]should[/i] be considered the norm/the expected/the standard. And golddiggers/beauty seekers should be abnormal. That's all. Not a big deal--just my interpretation of what he was saying. Why so emotional? Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 SF, you assume that a minority of women is representative of all women. While most women are not like that. You basically believe that the minority is a majority. Thus you give what in a practical sense is the exception, the status of normalcy. And thus delude yourself that what in a practical sense is normal, is the exception. What is so hard to understand about that? You are making this much more complicated than necessary... why oh why? I certainly do not assume that a minority of women is representative of all women. All right, once again, here it is. Mary3 - a woman who puts personality, humour, intelligence, other intangibles over tangibles such as money, looks, cool cars, flashy clothes, etc. - EXCEPTION. Women who are opposite of Mary3 - THE RULE. Women who are opposite of Mary3 easily outnumber those who are like her, THEREFORE women like Mary3 are the EXCEPTION. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 And your population assumption is simply false SF. I have written it twice. Should the next time I explain that to you be in a Scandinavian language? Link to post Share on other sites
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