Ugly People

[noclobber]

It's not a question of being 'rich', Noclobber. Women suspect men that don't have their own places and vehicles by a certain age. It's not about 'being rich' but rather about managing the money you have well. And I have known people to be in relationships who overlooked the guys' lack of cars and places of their own only to find out that the reason the guys don't have those things is they were terrible with money.

 

It's about not wanting to cast your lot in with someone who may be fiscally irresponsible. And unless you told them that you were trying to pay your uni debts down in full, they had no way of knowing why you hadn't managed to manage your money enough to live on your own and have a vehicle.

 

Totally agree! I am not expecting a woman to share her life with me if I am fiscally irresponsible. But the point is they didn't even give me a chance!! If you love someone won't you believe in them? won't you believe in their capabilities and what they can achieve????

 

One of those females even said "I will learn to love you once you settle comfortably with an apartment and a car". Now, what the hell does that mean? Doesn't it clearly point out that all she wants is just money?!?!? Whatever happened to love????? After this experience I made it a point to marry ONLY a beautiful and attractive woman!! If they are superficial let me also be the same. If some ordinary looking female says "oh but i am nice, caring, and love you truly" I will say "Yeah right, kiss my a$$"

[noclobber]

Women suspect men that don't have their own places and vehicles by a certain age.

 

Also, are you saying that if i don't live by myself and don't have a vehicle but i am okay otherwise women will not have a relationship with me??

[Outcast]

No that's not what I said. How's about you read what I said to find out what I said?

But the point is they didn't even give me a chance!! If you love someone won't you believe in them? won't you believe in their capabilities and what they can achieve???? [/Quote]

 

Dude, the Shack and the world is littered with ladies who 'gave a guy a chance' only to regret it. Don't be so offended that they want you to prove that you're as good as your word. They have no way of knowing if you're just another liar/irresponsible twit until they have some evidence to the contrary.

[hooghie]

"I will learn to love you once you settle comfortably with an apartment and a car". Now, what the hell does that mean? Doesn't it clearly point out that all she wants is just money?!?!? Whatever happened to love????? After this experience I made it a point to marry ONLY a beautiful and attractive woman!! If they are superficial let me also be the same. If some ordinary looking female says "oh but i am nice, caring, and love you truly" I will say "Yeah right, kiss my a$$"

 

What the above means to me is that you pick very shallow women who lack intelligence. Even the many GD's I know wouldn't be dumb enough to say 'I will learn to love you' to someone.

 

One of my best friends from law school who is very attractive always said she could only be with an extremely tall, fit, hot guy who has a great personality and some cash. She ended up with a short skinny dork. Guess what, he is a very well off doctor. I agree that for most women- even educated ones- how much $ a guy makes is extremely important. This becomes more and more of a requirement as women get older. The funny part about my friend's hubby is really really cheap and that is driving her crazy :lmao:

 

Personally, I've never really been after a guy with $ and sometimes I see that as a flaw.

[RecordProducer]

Noclobber, you're basing your theory on a population of two women. I personally know men who have chased women with money and know for a fact that it was because of their money. One was my ex-BF who wanted to marry me in order to inherit my mom's ex-husband's company. He didn't hide it. Of course he hid the fact that he didn't love me, he pretended he did.

 

At the same time, he was poor and very bad in managing finances, finding a decent job, etc. Now he is married to a woman who supports him, he doesn't even work.

 

There are men AND women who are after money and those who are not. Women don't hold monopoly on gold digging. It's just that women usually go after the men who make more money than themselves, because it attracts them naturally. But there ARE men who would be with women solely for their money.

 

After alL, as much as she might be cute, do you really think that Britney Spears' husband married her for love? The guy who has PhD (Pizza-Home-Delivery)?

[noclobber]

No that's not what I said. How's about you read what I said to find out what I said?

 

 

Dude, the Shack and the world is littered with ladies who 'gave a guy a chance' only to regret it. Don't be so offended that they want you to prove that you're as good as your word. They have no way of knowing if you're just another liar/irresponsible twit until they have some evidence to the contrary.

 

Great!! Then the solution is very simple..

 

Women to Men -> "I don't want you if you don't have a nice car and a nice apartment"

 

Men to Women -> "I don't want you if you don't have nice tit$ and great a$$"

 

Problem solved

[noclobber]

It's just that women usually go after the men who make more money than themselves, because it attracts them naturally.

 

ha ha ha... that's the whole point RP

[noclobber]

I agree that for most women- even educated ones- how much $ a guy makes is extremely important.

 

ha ha ha... thanks Hooghie

[TUDOR]

 

There are men AND women who are after money and those who are not. Women don't hold monopoly on gold digging. It's just that women usually go after the men who make more money than themselves, because it attracts them naturally. But there ARE men who would be with women solely for their money.

 

I was attracted to my wife because she had great tits and beautiful eyes...I married her because her parents are loaded and already in their 70's which means some day soon they will leave it to her. Am I serious about why I married her....no, yes, no, yes....I'll never tell!! But RP has a good point men have every opportunity to marry up just as women do.

[noclobber]

But RP has a good point men have every opportunity to marry up just as women do

 

I do agree with RP, 100% percent. Some men are gold-diggers too.

 

But the whole issue is men admit that they admire good looking and attractive women and go out with such women. But women on the other hand say all that they want is a nice, honest, funny guy but go out with rich guys or total jerks!!!

 

Alpha had it right on when he mentioned that women say one thing and do the opposite

 

I am not trying to offend the ladies here. Sorry if i am coming across as rude. But i do believe that i have a point. RP and Hooghie admitted that women find men that make lots of money to be attractive.

 

So tomorrow if i become rich, live in a beautiful apartment, and drive a BMW and then if some female gets "attracted" to me do u think i wud feel happy??? No way, because i KNOW that she is attracted to me not because of my personality and character but because of the things that i posses.

 

I want a woman NOW, when i do have a decent job and can support myself but rising in my career. Not AFTER i become rich and start driving BMWs or Jaguars... enuff said!

[hooghie]

Doesn't mean the ONLY reason she would be into you is for your money- it's just a perk. You should be able to see through a girl's true intentions fairly quickly. If you're not attractive, have a boring personality, etc., but really hot poor women are suddenly into you once you have cash- you'll know why.

[noclobber]

Doesn't mean the ONLY reason she would be into you is for your money- it's just a perk. You should be able to see through a girl's true intentions fairly quickly. If you're not attractive, have a boring personality, etc., but really hot poor women are suddenly into you once you have cash- you'll know why.

 

That's a good reply Hooghie!

 

So you mean to say that if a guy is super-rich but lacks in personality women wudn't dig him? I may be wrong but i think they would!! B'cos for women the comfort and security that comes along with money is more important than the joy and happiness that comes along with a great personality and character.

[hooghie]

No. That is not what I said/meant.

 

I meant:

 

If you don't get hot women now and you suddenly do once you are wealthy- it's for your $.

 

Any wealthy guy can get a really hot young women.

[RecordProducer]

Doesn't mean the ONLY reason she would be into you is for your money.

Veeeeeery true!! If you're great overall plus sucessful, why wouldn't a woman admire your WHOLE personality? Why wouldn't a woman admire her partner's success in the way that she admires his humor or intelligence and in the same way as he might admire her physical beauty or talent?

It's a fact though that many people do care only about money, but hopefully there aren't too many of them.

 

In fact, there's a member on LS ("Weird" is his username) who claims that, despite of his education, youth, nice looks, humor, and the fact that he makes good money, he can't find a date. He claims that women are not interested in his yacht and whatever luxury goods he possesses.

[noclobber]

No. That is not what I said/meant.

 

I meant:

 

If you don't get hot women now and you suddenly do once you are wealthy- it's for your $.

 

Any wealthy guy can get a really hot young women.

 

I agree Hooghie! I am not disputing that.

 

What I said was that a woman will choose a rich guy that can provide her with comfort and security over an average guy that has great personality and character.

[noclobber]

Veeeeeery true!! If you're great overall plus sucessful, why wouldn't a woman admire your WHOLE personality? Why wouldn't a woman admire her partner's success in the way that she admires his humor or intelligence and in the same way as he might admire her physical beauty or talent?

It's a fact though that many people do care only about money, but hopefully there aren't too many of them.

 

In fact, there's a member on LS ("Weird" is his username) who claims that, despite of his education, youth, nice looks, humor, and the fact that he makes good money, he can't find a date. He claims that women are not interested in his yacht and whatever luxury goods he possesses.

 

I am getting the point RP... okay, let me put it this way, in the form of a question.

 

A woman is hit on by two guys. One guy is rich, average personality, and so-so character. The other guy makes a decent living, great personality, and great character. Who would the woman go for?

[hooghie]

I would go for #2 without question. My quality of life depends on my happiness and happiness isn't automatic with money.

[RecordProducer]

B'cos for women the comfort and security that comes along with money is more important than the joy and happiness that comes along with a great personality and character.

 

Oh, this is so wrong! Even if you asked me to choose between being rich on my own or live an average life with the love of my life, I would choose the latter without even thinking. Not to mention to be around, look at, and sleep with someone I don't love just to spend his money! I don't even care about living in luxury! It really wouldn't make me happy.

 

Besides, the rich guys date many women. They don't marry all of them. So if a girl who is a gold digger starts dating someone she doesn't like without even knowing the future of their relationship, it kinda makes her a prostitute. I know there are women who do that (a friend of mine married a gold digger and anulled the marriage soon after the wedding). I believe these women are very sad and miserable. Neither the guy or the girl can be happy in a relationship based on interest. The masks fall very quickly.

 

So to sum it up, I think women simply like generous guys who are able to provide. It's been encoded in our genes since thousands of years ago. The woman took care of the little ones in the cave, the man went hunting and brought food for the family.

[noclobber]

Thanx Hooghie and RecordProducer!

 

I would be a fortunate man if I can meet women like you

[RecordProducer]

A woman is hit on by two guys. One guy is rich, average personality, and so-so character. The other guy makes a decent living, great personality, and great character. Who would the woman go for?

Your question was posed in a wrong way!

The point is not to make a list of good traits excluding the financial part and a list of average traits including it. Even if a woman falls in love with a guy because he is rich, she still IS in love with him. E.g. Bill Gates married his secretary. Did she marry him for his money? Maybe. But I think we can all imagine her watching him every day at work, admiring his success, melting at his compliments, and being thrilled when he (Bill Gates himself) asked her out. She probably fell in love with him before the first kiss. Would she fall in love with him if he were the delivery guy? Maybe. But probably not.

 

Successful men have this zest for life, this ability to solve situations with ease, they are generous, most likely intelligent and educated, charming, self-confident... How can a woman not fall in love with them? When a journalist asked David Coppefiled whether he would've fallen in love with Claudia Shiffer had she not been a famous top model, he answered: "I don't want to imagine that. Her success and fame are a part of who she is and I love her the way she is!" So basically he admitted that he wouldn't have fallen in love with her if she were just some pretty girl.

 

Of course there are many successful people whose personalities are completely unattractive, I assume. They probably have a problem with finding a woman who will love them for who they are.

 

Now the other option... if I guy is fun to be with and everything, but eternally jobless - it's a huge turn-off for many women.

 

A great guy with average income is very likely to be loved by many women, I believe.

[noclobber]

They probably have a problem with finding a woman who will love them for who they are.

 

Now the other option... if I guy is fun to be with and everything, but eternally jobless - it's a huge turn-off for many women.

 

A great guy with average income is very likely to be loved by many women, I believe.

 

This is exactly my problem RP. Not just mine but even my friends got burnt in the same way. The things that I write come out of experience. My friends and I have been in love with women who later ditched us and married guys that were well settled, had green cards, and drove fancy cars. Were we poor and good-for-nothing guys? hell no, we were all pursuing graduate education. What we observed and then concluded was that women would be willing to throw away their so called love in exchange for comfort and security.

 

But i do realize that I am wrong after hearing from you and Hooghie

 

Its just that I am unlucky I am unable to meet quality women like you..

[hooghie]

Part of that may be a cultural thing. You are from India right? Do you only date Indian women?

 

I am Persian and most Persian women want $ and lots of it. They will also do ANYTHING to come to the US. I know lots of Persian men who go back to Iran and marry some hot woman who comes here, gets settled and then ditches them taking her green card and alimony.

 

Find someone you connect with and have fun with. I'm sure it will happen to you if you wait and keep your eyes open.

 

For me, money doesn't make me happy. Sure it helps. If I'm going to cry either way- I'd rather be crying in a mercedes than a beat up volkswagan, but I'd rather have quality than quantity.

[Wiksta]

So many good things have been said already. It's hard to add anything that might be of help, but I will try in the light of your plight.

 

"Critize the world .. and you will get critism back ... Praise the world and you will be a king"

 

input=output, but sometime by 3 fold

 

You have obviously being feeding yourself some pee'd on Wheaties. You have been telling yourself and us that your "Ugly". Now you want us to further re-enforced this "false-belief" you have of yourself by telling you how or where the "Ugly" people hook up. Which basically in a round about way would be us telling you (if we told you this sacred info, lol) that yep, your ugly.

 

When I was in HS I had a similar "complex" and here is what worked for me. First, I was a freshman and having terrible luck with meeting girls and getting to know them. Yea some of it was a confidence issue, but more then that, it was a knowledge issue. You see I too was building and continually re-enforcing what I had already started was negative image of myself.

 

The fact is that there will always be someone (friends, peers even parents sometimes) around that will help you re-enforce those beliefs. Whether those beliefs are positive or negative because how you perceive yourself will ultimately be how you view and deal with environment and affirmations of all your beliefs about you.

 

Here is an example. When I was in grade school I had a stamp collection that was intricate and very well taken care of. It came time to decide who was going to be president of the club and fill the other offices as well. I had gotten nominated to be president because of my collection being so very well taken care of. I was so excited and happy cause I had never been nominated for anything like this except to do the dishes after diner, lmao.

 

Well, my buddy wanted to be President really, really badly and he was way more popular and known in the school. He actually told me that he would be a better president cause he was white and I was Indian (native American) off the reservation. You know what, I very sadly believed him and declined my nomination to be Stamp Collection Club President. Too top it off I was so upset I never wanted to go back to the stamp collection club and didn't for a good month.

 

One day my mom asked me about why I hadn't been going and I shrugged it off liek it wasn't a big deal. She forced me to discuss it and she was PISSED to the Nth degree. The next day she came to school and raised more hell about it then I could imagine.

 

You have heard the saying about "If someone called you a jack-ass once, blow it off, someone else calls you it, don't think to hard on it, but if a third person calls you it again for a third time and you may wanna start looking for some hay, lol, anyway. Around these parts people are still that way. You thinks blacks have it bad, lol, come be a "breed" in a predominantly white society in the countryside of Montana. You hear things about your people (mostly negative) over and over again, so, you begin to believe them.

 

This belief of white people being better because of there skin color. Actually caused me to give something up that was given to me based on completely different reasons then it was given to me for in the first place. I actually believed that he was better then me and more deserving because of the pigment or tone of his skin.

 

My mom made sure that I never again let anyone use me as their own personal doormat. She taught me how to stick-up for myself and taught me how to fight FOR myself. She taught me taught the value and true meaning of friendship. She taught me that what I have one the inside is far, far, more important and valuable then what is on the outside.

 

So, if you want to swim around in that ****-tub of a inner self-image you have then damn, be my guest brutha, but my friend. What you have on the inside is far more important and precious then anything on the outside world. More important then money, more important the job, more important then your car, more important then even the girl you do or do not have.

 

That thing is YOU! See, in this big world we forget sometimes that were unique as individuals. NO two are the exact same and therefore each has it's own place and time to come into it's own. YOU ARE SPECIAL!!! Whether your 500lbs and 4'3" or 7'0" playing ball for the Heat, lol. The range of people in the world is broad and expansive and actually hard to put into perspective, but let's put it this way. There is somewhere around 5 or 6 Billion people on the planet and none of them are exactly the same.

 

See, it's just too damn easy to find differences between us instead of similarities. Yet it is our differences that provide the sparkle and or uniqueness that sets us apart from one another=) what’s funny about it is that usually our perspective of ourselves is usually NOT the way others see us anyway. At least I found this so.

 

In closing to give an idea of what this proud Native American has done with his little brown skinned life (LMAO) and did it ALL on my own resources.

 

• Been on 4 continents and 16 countries =) by age 30
  
• Been to ALL provinces of Canada and Alaska by age 25 =)
  
• Covered the whole of the NA Continent by 30
  
• I can speak and write 4 languages, including Russian by age 35
  
• Kissed 10 different nationalities of women by age 30 =)
  
• I installed and constructed over 20 Wireless Communication Networks -WORLDWIDE
  
• Deployed the first ever wireless internet system in a few Eastern European cities including Moscow and Kiev
  

 

Yep, I'm blowing my horn, but not to make myself bigger, better or more superior then anyone else. I'm blowing it because I did it and I'm proud of that fact. If you don't like it, I don’t care and it is that simple. Ya know what the President of the stamp club has done? He chose to never leave the state he grew up in and will probably never leave there for any reason. See, people are different. I like different things. You like different things. He likes different things.

 

Closing now with the suggestion that you get into your school counselors office and let him/her know what’s going on with you. They want to help and that’s what they are there for. So use your resources my friend and get out of that fog you’re living in.

 

Pimp the system!

 

Wik=)

[noclobber]

Part of that may be a cultural thing. You are from India right? Do you only date Indian women?

 

Right on Hooghie!! Indian women are notoriously materialistic!!!!

 

The 2 women that gave me the apartment and car crap were both Indian. I usually don't go after them, even in the university i had mostly American female friends, not Indian women. These two fell in love with me (i dunno how) and then backed off for the said reasons..

 

anyway i am now trying to date American women and women from other countries. atleast they r more open and honest. but i had some bad experience with an American woman as well (recently). if u r interested u can read it here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=71209

 

to make a long story short she and i hung out, i asked her number and she gave it to me, we went for lunch, dinner, movies, ball-games... she took me to her apartment, sends email / text messages every single day, in the train she will sit only with me... blah blah blah blah.... after nearly 2 months of this crap i learnt that she has a long-distance boyfriend!!!!!!!!!!!! i got burnt and gutted right there.... keyword here is "learnt"... she never told me about him..

 

some people r so sh*tty they stink so f*ckin bad!!! Big time losers.. F*cking small time self-centered b*stards!!

 

i did ask that woman about it and she told that it was "on again, off again" relationship... i don't know what the f*ck that means as i am from India and very very new to the American dating scene..

[Jayhawks]

Hear.... Hear....Wiksta.

 

I hope he listens to your excellent post.