My experiment for loveshack

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Most guys hate dates?!! First off stop lumping most guys in with your sh*** attitude towards dating. Dating can be fun when you get a good mindset around it. I personally love getting to know new people, and I have awesome stories to tell about my life while sitting across the table. Maybe that is your main problem. You find your life boring, hence the lack of success in dating. Even down to your disgust in spending $20 on your own meal

 

Totally agree .

[MidwestUSA]

Here's the thing. How many us look back at the first time we had sex with someone, whether it was on a first date or not, and say 'Wow, that was the BEST!'?

 

If anything, I'm more likely to giggle at the bumbling awkwardness of it all. Sex is destined, hopefully, to get better and better with that special someone.

 

OP, you're never going to get to that point. How are you going to feel in ten or fifteen years when you can't even get it up for a ONS. A dedicated partner helps you work thru those things, among a lot of other things she/he brings to your life.

 

It's obvious from your prior musings here that you're lying to yourself. But at this point, your bitterness is unattractive. I wish you luck.

[CatMinx]

I gave a relationship a shot and she suddenly decided to ghost for three days only to come back and try to pretend nothing happened. I gave her another shot, then she ghosted again. After that I said, “I’m never doing this relationship thing again.” From then on, no strings attached sex only.

 

So your motto in life is ‘give up after one short try, expect everyone to cater to my needs, and get angry and bitter if people don’t acquiesce to my every whim’.

 

...sexy...

[Redguitar35]

Most guys hate dates?!! First off stop lumping most guys in with your sh*** attitude towards dating. Dating can be fun when you get a good mindset around it. I personally love getting to know new people, and I have awesome stories to tell about my life while sitting across the table. Maybe that is your main problem. You find your life boring, hence the lack of success in dating. Even down to your disgust in spending $20 on your own meal

 

Dating is not fun for either gender. Especially online dating. I read threads all the time complaining about how stressed and depressed the male or female OP is with the dating scene, one and done dates, waiting for texts, ghosting, etc. No one enjoys dating. I think if people turned to NSA sex like me, there'd be a lot fewer sexually frustrated people on LS.

 

And who ever said I'm having lack of success? I had more sex after I called it quits on relationships than I've ever had. I don't have to worry about trying to maintain a relationship with someone, and I don't have to worry about whether or not someone I trust will stab me in the back. I'm having fun.

 

Actually, I think I'm pretty satisfied with how things ended with the girl mentioned in my OP. She didn't follow through for a second meeting, didn't agree to sex within 1-2 dates, so I unmatched her online and moved on. Don't even remember her name. I don't have to waste any more of my time and money on her. That's my consistent recommendation to guys who find themselves strung along for 4-6 dates by some ladies who don't feel a spark.

[Redguitar35]

Here's the thing. How many us look back at the first time we had sex with someone, whether it was on a first date or not, and say 'Wow, that was the BEST!'?

 

 

Plenty of times, to be honest with you. But that's just me.

 

If your expectation for the date was to functionally trade money for sex, why didn’t you just hire a prostitute?

 

I don't have to pay for sex, which I'm pretty sure is illegal, as I get plenty of women who have been willing to agree to sex early on of their own free will. I have dry spells of course, but someone else always comes along. What I don't like and refuse to do, is investing time and money with a woman who isn't into me. I cut those people off completely.

 

When I was younger I would have spent days being down and depressed that this girl didn't like me, and I might have tried to change her mind. That's not me. She's a waste of my time, and I let her go.

Edited March 17, 2018 by Redguitar35

[newyorker11356]

Dating is not fun for either gender. Especially online dating. I read threads all the time complaining about how stressed and depressed the male or female OP is with the dating scene, one and done dates, waiting for texts, ghosting, etc. No one enjoys dating. I think if people turned to NSA sex like me, there'd be a lot fewer sexually frustrated people on LS.

 

And who ever said I'm having lack of success? I had more sex after I called it quits on relationships than I've ever had. I don't have to worry about trying to maintain a relationship with someone, and I don't have to worry about whether or not someone I trust will stab me in the back. I'm having fun.

 

Actually, I think I'm pretty satisfied with how things ended with the girl mentioned in my OP. She didn't follow through for a second meeting, didn't agree to sex within 1-2 dates, so I unmatched her online and moved on. Don't even remember her name. I don't have to waste any more of my time and money on her. That's my consistent recommendation to guys who find themselves strung along for 4-6 dates by some ladies who don't feel a spark.

 

Speak for yourself. Sure, dating can absolutely be frustrating, no doubt (especially when you're finally looking for "the one"), but it's also exciting and fun at the same time.

 

Not everyone can get NSA sex, and even if they could, that's not rewarding for someone that's looking for a relationship. It's not just about the sex. That's what you fail to comprehend and understand.

 

Like I said, you need therapy to get over this hump.

[smackie9]

Why do you even have to go out on date to get sex? Are there not hookup sites? craigslist? The bar? You meet up, check each other out for 20 mins, then go have sex. Why bother with taking them out for a damn meal when the only thing you want to order off the menu is sex??? If the sex is good, they will call you back for another round. Take the formalities out of it and cut to the chase.

[guest569]

When I was younger I would have spent days being down and depressed that this girl didn't like me, and I might have tried to change her mind. That's not me. She's a waste of my time, and I let her go.

 

That’s great! But at the same time, don’t give up too easily. Don’t assume that someone isn’t interested because they didn’t go back to your place on the first date!! If one night stand is the ONLY thing you’re after then I agree it would be a waste of time to bother getting to know her over weeks or months. But I feel as though you’re working hard to convince yourself that you only want one night stands because you’re terrified of being hurt. Not because it is what you really want. That is completely understandable by the way!! But it just seems to me like you didn’t give your relationship much of a go?? Why did she “ghost” for 3 whole days and did you guys talk about it or did you just say seeya??

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Dating is not fun for either gender. Especially online dating. I read threads all the time complaining about how stressed and depressed the male or female OP is with the dating scene, one and done dates, waiting for texts, ghosting, etc. No one enjoys dating. I think if people turned to NSA sex like me, there'd be a lot fewer sexually frustrated people on LS.

 

And who ever said I'm having lack of success? I had more sex after I called it quits on relationships than I've ever had. I don't have to worry about trying to maintain a relationship with someone, and I don't have to worry about whether or not someone I trust will stab me in the back. I'm having fun.

 

Actually, I think I'm pretty satisfied with how things ended with the girl mentioned in my OP. She didn't follow through for a second meeting, didn't agree to sex within 1-2 dates, so I unmatched her online and moved on. Don't even remember her name. I don't have to waste any more of my time and money on her. That's my consistent recommendation to guys who find themselves strung along for 4-6 dates by some ladies who don't feel a spark.

 

Big hugs, Redguitar35.

[basil67]

And who ever said I'm having lack of success? I had more sex after I called it quits on relationships than I've ever had. I don't have to worry about trying to maintain a relationship with someone, and I don't have to worry about whether or not someone I trust will stab me in the back. I'm having fun.

 

If everything is going so great for you, why a whole post about a measly $20 spent on your own food for a date?

[healing light]

You "wasted" money on yourself. You didn't pay for her, so you didn't "wine and dine" her.

 

The woman from your last relationship who "ghosted" you for 3 days and then acted like nothing happened was probably just busy. And now you've made a decision to never have another relationship with another woman, ever?

 

Sounds like you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of misery (and STDs).

 

If a woman isn't going to hear from you again if she doesn't have sex with you on the first date, does have sex with you on the first date, and/or gets clingy after sex on the first date--what's the point?

 

You're never going to talk to her again anyway, so you might as well just protect everyone's health and invest in a good fleshlight.

[MidwestUSA]

Plenty of times, to be honest with you. But that's just me.

 

 

Just you; that's the point. How many of the women come back for seconds?

[Exformer]

So, complaining about no sex on the first or second date equals no sex ever...

Then confession that you usually drop a girl after the first date if you don't have sex on that date...meaning "no sex ever" is because you've already cut her loose after the first date, not because of any further decisions on her part.

 

Now you're moving from the position that you are dating and sometimes not getting any sex later, to the position that you just go after NSA sex, which is really sex without dating at all...because you hate dating.

So your complaint is less a complaint and more a platform to humble brag about getting plenty without the need to pay for dates?

 

You don't like dating and you only want NSA. Yet you're complaining about likelihood of sex during a dating process you claim to bail on before you can prove or disprove your hypothesis. What was the point of this thread again?

[Redguitar35]

How many of the women come back for seconds?

 

 

 

Most of them. Not everyone has a negative attitude toward sex.

 

 

If everything is going so great for you, why a whole post about a measly $20 spent on your own food for a date?

Because there was no sex involved. Meeting up with her was a massive waste of time.

[Redguitar35]

You "wasted" money on yourself. You didn't pay for her, so you didn't "wine and dine" her.

 

The woman from your last relationship who "ghosted" you for 3 days and then acted like nothing happened was probably just busy. And now you've made a decision to never have another relationship with another woman, ever?

 

 

 

That’s right. We were dating for months then she ghosted and was right back on the dating site. A relationship is not worth getting treated that way and after that I said I was done with relationships. They aren’t for me.

[basil67]

Because there was no sex involved. Meeting up with her was a massive waste of time.

 

When you drive to the beach and find that you can't catch every wave, do you get mad with the amount of money and time you spent getting there?

 

It's like you're expecting life to have some kind of guarantee of a successful outcome.

[heavenonearth]

 

 

Because there was no sex involved. Meeting up with her was a massive waste of time.

 

I think you are quite disgusting.

I seldom have heard a man have such an unapologetically sexist and demeaning view on women, so openly.

 

For some reason i have a feeling you will always be alone... and i am just being realistic here.

[Redguitar35]

I think you are quite disgusting.

I seldom have heard a man have such an unapologetically sexist and demeaning view on women, so openly.

 

 

Totally uncalled for. A person has every right to prefer early sex and to cut ties with people who are lukewarm about them.

[heavenonearth]

Totally uncalled for. A person has every right to prefer early sex and to cut ties with people who are lukewarm about them.

 

The difference is you are entitled and you are presumptuous! And you are not listening to ANYBODY on this thread, their experiences and opinions don't matter to you. It goes into one ear and out the other.

What kind of bubble do you live in?

[mortensorchid]

If it's one thing that sharing these constant stories of disappointment and drama have proven to me, be they happen to me, someone I know, or someone on this forum; be it OLD or otherwise; be it dating, friendship, work, etc. I will never get over how apathetic people are. They do not consider the other party's feelings, follow through with a promise, or make a move towards something good happening, or work on things. They just give up, are not interested, or take the easy way out. Hence the root of all the problems / issues discussed here.

[CollinW]

Can't say I agree or relate to what you've said in this thread but I say go for your heart's desires. If you want sex up front then do what you have to do to make women willfully want to give it to you. People have no problem with women dating around to get what they want, nothing wrong with you doing it either. Just don't be an entitled bitter man about it.

[basil67]

Totally uncalled for. A person has every right to prefer early sex and to cut ties with people who are lukewarm about them.

 

But that's not what you've been talking about. You're talking about only wanting sex on the first date and refusing any type of relationship. Unless you've put on your profile that what you're looking for is just sex, then you're completely out of line for using these women as nothing more than a piece of meat.

[happyhusband0005]

My guess is you don't get sex on later dates because you come across poorly to these women. I'm guessing to do well on date one and then when no sex happens you attitude gets worse and worse as things progress. You are probably shooting yourself in the foot. Desperation is not attractive to most women.

[Els]

if sex doesn’t occur in the first 1-2 dates, it’s a safe bet that the woman isn’t interested, and further dates are not likely, and that goes for relationships and hookups

 

 

:lmao:

 

Are we the expert in relationships after a couple of failed hookups, now?

 

I will say though that if $20 is such a big deal to you, you likely shouldn't be dating at all. Focus on getting yourself to a decent place in life for goodness' sakes.