My experiment for loveshack

[HiCrunchy]

Well, then you're just a game player, obvi.

 

Haha, I wish. Tho, I have been told I have an awkward charm that seems to work.

I have the tendency to wear my feels on my sleeve and blush so hard that my cheeks look like cherry tomatoes.

 

Here's an accurate depiction of what I look like when I am in love:

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

 

Here's an accurate depiction of what I look like when I am in love:

 

Haha! So cute . Made me giggle .

[snowboy91]

There’s too much focus on the hook up aspect. I don’t think relationships versus hook ups is important. I think this goes for either. I think there is no need for these guys we’ve read about to tolerate going out on dates with women who are still undecided about them for 4-6 dates. Early sex is a great way to weed out these women instead of investing all that time and money on dates that lead nowhere.

 

The assumption you're making there is for a guy, sex is the most important thing in a relationship. For a guy looking for a fulfilling relationship, that's not necessarily the case - many guys do actually desire that connection that only a relationship can provide.

 

If I was starting to date someone and I felt that we were strongly compatible on many levels and consider them relationship potential, I'd be happy to wait a few dates before sex to make sure THEY were ready - for the right person who you genuinely enjoy spending time with, what's a few dates worth of waiting? Especially if the dates are enjoyable? That by definition is not a waste of my money, I get to enjoy a good meal or fun activity with great company. Of course, I'd hope we set the sheets on fire once we finally get to that stage...

 

There's this sort of trade-off going on here. If a guy considers a woman relationship material, he'll wait for sex because the companionship is fun anyway. If he doesn't but wants to have sex with her anyway, then there's no point waiting.

 

This thread exploded overnight... I have to commend you for your little experiment.

[heavenonearth]

The other guys are trying to find a girl for a relationship and you are for hookups.

There is absolutely no comparison of your experience with theirs.

So stop preaching!!

 

Secondly, I wonder what kind of women would be sleeping with you... You have so many issues - low self worth, insecurity, lack of respect, selfishness, stubborn, inability to accept the truth... i can go on but you get the point. Then of course you are attracting weird women. Normal women, like this woman, smell the trouble and go away asap. Which is what she did.

 

Not everyone who is using online dating wants to hook up.

 

Not everyone who wants to hook up will follow through (perfectly ok)

 

Not everyone who wants to hook up will want to hook up with you.

 

 

 

I love these responses.

So true.

 

OP, you need to take a look in the mirror and think about why it is that none of these women want to see you a second time, or sleep with you on your first 'date'. You come across as very rude, entitled and grim.

 

After a first date with you, I'd RUN.

 

If you're only looking for sex, you should probably not mislead women by going on dates with them. Just seek out a professional, or write in your online dating profile: "Only looking for One Night stand".

Maybe then you will have better success.

But still - even then, a woman may decide not to sleep with you.

And that's ok.

Because, newsflash, women are HUMAN BEINGS, and not objects for you to use and discard at your choosing. We do not bow down to your needs.

That's what makes you sound so entitled -- you think that because a woman chooses not to sleep with you or see you for a second date, that something must be wrong with them.

To most people on this thread, it sounds much more like something is wrong with YOU.

 

So what do you learn from this?

[todreaminblue]

Haha, I wish. Tho, I have been told I have an awkward charm that seems to work.

I have the tendency to wear my feels on my sleeve and blush so hard that my cheeks look like cherry tomatoes.

 

Here's an accurate depiction of what I look like when I am in love:

 

 

smilin...me too i blush...and i shouldnt ...im a mature woman.......its hard to be cool and look cool when you blush because you feel ...hot and awkward...luckily its rare a man can make me blush...very rare...so im cool .......deb

[HiCrunchy]

That’s almost worth making a whole new thread over. A guy should never pay for the woman’s meal on the first date.

 

Hmm weird. I like for the guy to offer to pay. It gives me a good impression of him. I refuse of course, but the gesture means a ton. If a guy didn't, it leave me with a bad impression of him.

Edited March 16, 2018 by HiCrunchy

[Highndry]

Hmm weird. I like for the guy to offer to pay. It gives me a good impression of him. I refuse of course, but the gesture means a ton. If a guy didn't, it leave me with a bad impression of him.

 

And as a guy, I like to pay and expect nothing in return. Further, I don't want a woman to sleep with me on the first meeting. I prefer someone who can exercise a little bit of restraint. I'm not really interested in a relationship with a woman who is dtf every guy she meets online.

[newyorker11356]

And as a guy, I like to pay and expect nothing in return. Further, I don't want a woman to sleep with me on the first meeting. I prefer someone who can exercise a little bit of restraint. I'm not really interested in a relationship with a woman who is dtf every guy she meets online.

 

Eh, to be fair, just because a woman has sex with you on the first date, doesn't mean she does that with every guy.

 

As for me, I wouldn't mind having sex on the first date, but I've come to not expect it.

[BluEyeL]

studies show that the better looking a woman is the longer she waits to have sex

 

I don’t know how good looking I am (or was 5 years ago when I started dating) but I never ever and will never put out on the first date and I was fine with guys moving on. Gross!

 

I’ve been on plenty 3 rd, 4th and 5th dates with guys who actually did pay for the first 3 dates and I did not sleep with them . I need at least 4 dates to know if I want a relationship with that guy and then, if it looks like he is relationship material , I’d sleep with him. But in my relatively short experience sex happened after 10 dates plus. Sorry not sorry. Guys who moved on, no loss for me I wasn’t looking for someone like them anyway.

 

It’s a very effective way to weed out those who look for hookups. If I wanted a hookup they’d know early on.

[Yomachi]

Hmm weird. I like for the guy to offer to pay. It gives me a good impression of him. I refuse of course, but the gesture means a ton. If a guy didn't, it leave me with a bad impression of him.

 

The bill part of the date is horrible for both parties though.

I like being generous. I don't like feeling I have to be 'generous'.

 

If you don't offer to pay the bill, people will refuse to give you a second date. So offering to pay the bill isn't voluntary nor generous, it's simply expected.

 

Of course if the other person does accept your offer of paying the whole bill, then you run into the situation where intemacy is now expected otherwise you're considered a freeloader. So they generally refuse and offer to split the bill, so at least they don't feel in debt. Of course if they don't see a second date happening, they're even more likely to refuse your offer.

 

Since people notice that women paying their share = no more dates, they will insist on paying, even if the woman refuses.

 

It's why I think restaurant dates are horrible first dates. Just ask people out for drinks or coffee. If the date goes crap, it's easy for both parties to leave, and since they hardly cost anything the bill part is defused.

[clia]

Believe me, my preference is for the lady to come straight over to my house to Netflix and chill. Unfortunately some women like to be wined and dined a little before getting down to sex. I assumed she was one of these ladies. My wallet wasn’t happy.

 

But you didn't wine and dine her. You only paid for yourself.

I'm trying to wrap my brain around why you are complaining that you spent $20 on dinner for yourself.

 

I'm not going to rehash what nearly everyone else has said, but I never even considered having sex with a guy on the first date back when I was dating. I find the idea of getting naked with a stranger to be pretty gross and prefer to get to know a guy a little better. It also helped to weed out guys like you who weren't looking for a relationship and just wanted sex.

 

But since you aren't looking for a relationship and just want to hook up, I don't know why you are even talking about "wining and dining." Just invite her over to Netflix and chill on the first date and there will be no confusion about what you are really after.

[CatMinx]

The general rule is that whomever does the asking, pays for the date.

[todreaminblue]

The bill part of the date is horrible for both parties though.

I like being generous. I don't like feeling I have to be 'generous'.

 

If you don't offer to pay the bill, people will refuse to give you a second date. So offering to pay the bill isn't voluntary nor generous, it's simply expected.

 

Of course if the other person does accept your offer of paying the whole bill, then you run into the situation where intemacy is now expected otherwise you're considered a freeloader. So they generally refuse and offer to split the bill, so at least they don't feel in debt. Of course if they don't see a second date happening, they're even more likely to refuse your offer.

 

Since people notice that women paying their share = no more dates, they will insist on paying, even if the woman refuses.

 

It's why I think restaurant dates are horrible first dates. Just ask people out for drinks or coffee. If the date goes crap, it's easy for both parties to leave, and since they hardly cost anything the bill part is defused.

 

 

there are three ways I recognise a guy with serious intent.....one is a dinner date....it doesnt have to be a restaurant it could be on a beach with a picnic basket packed by me...or him ....when by him it has been a beautiful surprise........always at dinner time.....

 

another is a night walk ......somewhere public though...which is why a lot of women i guess meet in a restaurant for a first date because it is public and honestly safer....and food is actually a topic that can be used in conversation and a good ice breaker.... there's also a physical barrier to groping.... normally used to hold food and rink called a table...effective wall......

 

another first date i have often been on is i meet their mum.....the guy who have wanted to date me....want me to meet their mums they are really quite excited for me to meet ...and those guys have had intentions of me being in their lives.

 

 

i dont think the bill has to be horrible if you are mature and thoughtful adult daters...bills are part of life if you cant work out a bill and come to a mutual agreement without harboring resentment on the first date ...then thats not actually a very good sign for future dates.....nothing should feel horrible ............deb

[Yomachi]

The general rule is that whomever does the asking, pays for the date.

 

That's the same kind of general rule that whoever has the lowest salary should quit their job and take care of the kids, knowing that in most cases that means the women gets the childrearing burden simply because men are in general paid more.

 

It's fine to be old-fashioned, but don't hide behind rules that sound progressive but aren't.

 

If I can ask: How many times did you ask vs. you were asked?

If that ratio is 1 to 5, can you see how "whoever does the asking pays for the date" practically means almost the exact same as "the man should always pay"?

[stillafool]

I'm not a relationship guy, to be honest with you. Tried it, didn't work for me. I'm satisfied with hook ups.

 

If it's just sex you want you should tell them that up front so you don't waste your time and money; or just hire a Prostitute.

[alphamale]

If it's just sex you want you should tell them that up front so you don't waste your time and money; or just hire a Prostitute.

 

in the long run it's probably cheaper to hire a hooker/escort. I hear Stormy Daniels is looking for new clients

[Eternal Sunshine]

You remind me of my brother's creepy friend. He also goes on tinder and tries to have sex on the first date (with varied luck). The reality is that he is so creepy, the only chance he has is those first 30minutes - 1 hour. Any longer than that and not only sex won't happen but women want to get away from him as fast as they can.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

That's the same kind of general rule that whoever has the lowest salary should quit their job and take care of the kids, knowing that in most cases that means the women gets the childrearing burden simply because men are in general paid more.

 

It's fine to be old-fashioned, but don't hide behind rules that sound progressive but aren't.

 

If I can ask: How many times did you ask vs. you were asked?

If that ratio is 1 to 5, can you see how "whoever does the asking pays for the date" practically means almost the exact same as "the man should always pay"?

 

I think it's ok to be old fashioned sometimes. When I'm in a relationship with someone, I pay for what we do plenty of times, probably half (I've never kept track), but I like for the man to pay for the first date, not because of finances, but it makes me see him as more chivalrous, more of a caretaker, etc. I just like how it feels inside my person, not inside my wallet.

 

P.S. I don't think I can even remember a first date when the man didn't pay. I always offer to "help with that" or pay the tip, but I don't recall ever being taken up on it.

 

P.P.S. I have never called myself a feminist .

[CatMinx]

That's the same kind of general rule that whoever has the lowest salary should quit their job and take care of the kids, knowing that in most cases that means the women gets the childrearing burden simply because men are in general paid more.

 

It's fine to be old-fashioned, but don't hide behind rules that sound progressive but aren't.

 

If I can ask: How many times did you ask vs. you were asked?

If that ratio is 1 to 5, can you see how "whoever does the asking pays for the date" practically means almost the exact same as "the man should always pay"?

 

I asked my current boyfriend out and offered (genuinely) to pay on the first date, which he declined. I did pay for the second date though. Now we usually switch off.

 

I definitely don’t believe the man should always pay. But as old fashioned as it is, that just tends to be the norm on a first date. The OP is only looking for first dates, so he’s gonna end up shelling out a lot of money, which is why he should save himself the trouble and hire prostitutes instead.

[RecentChange]

That’s almost worth making a whole new thread over. A guy should never pay for the woman’s meal on the first date.

 

Again, how is that working out for you champ? Have a long list of women blowing up your phone begging for another date?

 

Like others have said, refusing to pay for a meal for a woman you invited out to a meal says a lot about someone. Kinda like hosting a BBQ then asking all your friends to pay you back for the meat you purchased. Its in poor taste.

 

I always offered to pay my part at least on early dates - No men ever took me up on it. I would try at least to cover the tip (I always carry cash for tips).

 

If a guy sat there, looking at the bill and then told me I owe - that would be our last date. And its not because I am a gold digger, far from it. I make much more than my husband - But if he had insisted I paid on those early dates - he wouldn't have become my husband.

 

Now all of our dates are my treat

[CptInsano]

You remind me of my brother's creepy friend. He also goes on tinder and tries to have sex on the first date (with varied luck). The reality is that he is so creepy, the only chance he has is those first 30minutes - 1 hour. Any longer than that and not only sex won't happen but women want to get away from him as fast as they can.

 

That confirms my old theory that sometimes you just need to be brazen enough to get somewhere.

[Redguitar35]

What happened? It obviously affected you enough for you to do a 180 on relationships. Maybe you should look into that ? It doesn't look like you've resolved it in a healthy way, and you'll end up hurting yourself more in the long run.

 

 

I gave a relationship a shot and she suddenly decided to ghost for three days only to come back and try to pretend nothing happened. I gave her another shot, then she ghosted again. After that I said, “I’m never doing this relationship thing again.” From then on, no strings attached sex only.

[dtla1992]

There's been several threads lately where guys have been strung along for multiple dates even though the girl had no intention of ever going to bed with them.

 

As I've said to my friends on LS before, unless a woman gives up sex on the first date, sex will never occur in most cases. I've also said that dates are an awful drain financially and psychologically, if sex isn't on the menu. Last night I had what was an okay get together as far as dates go with woman I met on tinder. We met at a sushi restaurant. The girl told me she had great time, but she had to head on home to finish some work related project. She suggested that we get together at my place the next night (tonight) to watch a movie. I said sounds good. Of course when I followed up with her this evening, she said she couldn't make it, which frankly I predicted would happen the minute I climbed back into my car the night before. I predicted I would never see her again. I said, well if she were interested, there would've been sex tonight. I was right.

 

On the one hand, I feel awful, because I dropped probably $20 on the meal (thank God we went dutch), and no sex occurred . Nothing to show for all that time, effort and money. It's money and time I will never get back . On the other though, I'm somewhat glad because I'm able to cut ties with her before wasting any more dollars on senseless dates that lead nowhere.

 

This is how I recommend guys reading this view this type of date before they waste energy falling into despair or worse attempting to set up another date with a woman who is lukewarm about them.

 

My point is, this is exactly what I've been talking about when I say sex should occur early on. I welcome any questions.

 

I want to know where can you eat sushi for only $20...

[Redguitar35]

Hmm weird. I like for the guy to offer to pay. It gives me a good impression of him. I refuse of course, but the gesture means a ton. If a guy didn't, it leave me with a bad impression of him.

 

This was part of my point in my OP. Imagine how foolish a guy would feel to drop hundreds of dollars paying for both meals, only to have the girl text him later saying she just “doesn’t feel a spark”. I’ve read threads describing this situation. Never pay for your date’s meal.

[RecentChange]

I gave a relationship a shot and she suddenly decided to ghost for three days only to come back and try to pretend nothing happened. I gave her another shot, then she ghosted again. After that I said, “I’m never doing this relationship thing again.” From then on, no strings attached sex only.

 

Got it - you tried to have a relationship once, failed miserably, so now you are throwing in the towel forever.

 

Do you do this in other parts of your life? Give up after one failed attempt?

 

Has this path been fulfilling for you? Makes you happy? You are fine with living alone for the rest of your life, never having a family, or a partner in life? No loneliness or other concerns?

 

Like others pointed out, some men enjoy companionship, having someone who loves them stuff like that.... if you don't need any of that, what about a sex doll?