My experiment for loveshack

[Exformer]

You say that sex doesn't happen at all if it doesn't happen on the first date, but you also claim that you break up with girls if there isn't sex on the first date...So, of course you never have sex with them later because you tend break up with them before a later can happen. -self fulfilling prophecy.

 

I feel like we've had very different experiences dating, and I'm very glad to be on this side of that.

 

I will say if I didn't have sex with a girl the first two or three dates, sex was usually off the table, which isn't something I would want in a relationship. But I can't say that a first date is a strong enough indicator whether or not sex will occur at all, unless a girl flat out says so...and I've had more than one girl say we weren't going to have sex, only to change her mind and hook up with me. So, even that isn't a sure indicator.

 

Take another look at the date to figure out what happened during and after that date to throw a girl off enough to never have sex with you later on.

 

I would say that most girls I have dated are girls who would have sex with the right kind of guy early on (if not on the first date, then date two or three), but a few of them wouldn't do the same for just any guy they're dating...even if the "any guy" was someone they liked enough to keep dating for a bit.

 

I would also say that most girls I've dated or hooked up with, given the right timing, right guy, right situation, would also hook up with a guy on the first night...even just ONS a guy and be gone, but also wouldn't dream of it if it was the wrong situation with a different guy.

[Highndry]

So in summary:

 

All women put out on the first date if they are going to put out at all.

 

$20 is a financial burden to you.

 

Got it.

[CatMinx]

I'm not a relationship guy, to be honest with you. Tried it, didn't work for me. I'm satisfied with hook ups.

 

Do you tell women this before you take them out on a date? If not, that’s false advertising, as most women who go out on dates are looking for relationships and not hookups. You can’t expect women to read your mind.

 

If you’re tired of spending money and not getting laid, I suggest you skip the date part altogether and just hire prostitutes.

[Prue]

Do you tell women this before you take them out on a date? If not, that’s false advertising, as most women who go out on dates are looking for relationships and not hookups. You can’t expect women to read your mind.

 

If you’re tired of spending money and not getting laid, I suggest you skip the date part altogether and just hire prostitutes.

 

Yep! And they may even taste just like sushi down there! Double win! Sex AND food.

[Redguitar35]

Wow, I went to bed last night and I log in this morning to find this thread has exploded. I’ll try to respond to people’s questions individually when I get a break from work, but my point is that if sex doesn’t occur in the first 1-2 dates, it’s a safe bet that the woman isn’t interested, and further dates are not likely, and that goes for relationships and hookups. I knew going home that there would be no second date because sex didn’t happen, and that was an accurate prediction.

[Prue]

Wow, I went to bed last night and I log in this morning to find this thread has exploded. I’ll try to respond to people’s questions individually when I get a break from work, but my point is that if sex doesn’t occur in the first 1-2 dates, it’s a safe bet that the woman isn’t interested, and further dates are not likely, and that goes for relationships and hookups. I knew going home that there would be no second date because sex didn’t happen, and that was an accurate prediction.

 

See? You’re still seeing this backwards. You’re thinking it’s a cause and effect thing, but it’s not. This girl didn’t go into it already decided she won’t like you, she just did and you’re blaming lack of dates to follow on lack of sex when it’s actually lack of interest. This has nothing to do with sex.

[Gaeta]

my point is that if sex doesn’t occur in the first 1-2 dates, it’s a safe bet that the woman isn’t interested, and further dates are not likely, and that goes for relationships and hookups. I knew going home that there would be no second date because sex didn’t happen, and that was an accurate prediction.

 

Not all women have sex on a 1st date EVEN if they are strongly attracted toward the man and this for several reasons, social pressure, religious pressure, need time to familiarize with the man, for safety reasons, or simply because they're on their darn periods.

[Yomachi]

She suggested that we get together at my place the next night (tonight) to watch a movie.

 

Great sign!

 

I said sounds good.

 

...you realize how unenthusiastic this sounds right? ...right?

Going Dutch is fine, but at least show your enthusiasm!

 

Of course when I followed up with her this evening, she said she couldn't make it.

 

So you followed up an hour or two before you wanted to meet up? ...you didn't think that was a bit late?

 

You snatched defeat from the jaws of victory my friend. Someone doesn't suggest to meet up at your place for movie night if they aren't interested. But no one wants to be the "eh guess you're here so you'll do" person.

 

I'm assuming no one has sex with you after they get to know you better exactly because they got to know you better.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Not all women have sex on a 1st date EVEN if they are strongly attracted toward the man and this for several reasons, social pressure, religious pressure, need time to familiarize with the man, for safety reasons, or simply because they're on their darn periods.

 

Seriously!!!!

[LoverOfDance]

I have no idea why people are still arguing with REDGUITAR. This is honestly the STUPIDEST argument I have ever seen/read in my life. Like OP, your argument is so bad and senseless I can't even reply to it and I have no idea why people are replying to you !!

[Andy_K]

See? You’re still seeing this backwards. You’re thinking it’s a cause and effect thing, but it’s not. This girl didn’t go into it already decided she won’t like you, she just did and you’re blaming lack of dates to follow on lack of sex when it’s actually lack of interest. This has nothing to do with sex.

 

He's not saying that, he's saying lack of sex is caused by lack of interest, and if there isn't sex on the first date then there isn't enough interest to make it likely on further dates either.

 

One date is a little too soon to draw the line in my opinion, but if you're getting plenty of dates and you're only interested in sex, there's some logic to it.

[Cookiesandough]

Wow, I went to bed last night and I log in this morning to find this thread has exploded. I’ll try to respond to people’s questions individually when I get a break from work, but my point is that if sex doesn’t occur in the first 1-2 dates, it’s a safe bet that the woman isn’t interested, and further dates are not likely, and that goes for relationships and hookups. I knew going home that there would be no second date because sex didn’t happen, and that was an accurate prediction.

 

 

You said you always end things if there’s no sex on first date!? So of course your prediction is correct...

 

I don’t get why it’s hard for you to understand you actually have to stick around for date 4,5+ to meet women who have sex on those dates. Those women are less likely to be down for casual though

[normal person]

There's no way I'd stick around for five dates before sex. In 2018. That seems excessive to me. Most people, especially online daters, know within seconds whether the person they met is sex material.

 

Even if true, there's a gigantic difference between thinking someone is "sex material" and actually having sex with them. And that difference more often than not manifests itself in a more than a single outing.

 

but my point is that if sex doesn’t occur in the first 1-2 dates, it’s a safe bet that the woman isn’t interested, and further dates are not likely, and that goes for relationships and hookups. I knew going home that there would be no second date because sex didn’t happen, and that was an accurate prediction.

 

Your problem is that you've conflated sex with interest. Did you know it's possible for a woman to be interested in you, yet decide not to have sex with you after 80 minutes and a lame dinner? It's absolutely ridiculous to assume that if it doesn't happen the first time you meet, it never happens, as if women don't typically look for other things, like her feeling of trust/safety with the guy and his supposed level of investment. There's little chance she feels comfortable enough with most people after one bad date to sleep with them.

 

If you actually have faith in the veracity of your claims, it's likely you have terrible judgment, terrible dating acumen, and a lot of other problems. It's not hard to see why you're having such a difficult time, to be honest.

 

Best of luck.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

[/b]

 

 

You said you always end things if there’s no sex on first date!? So of course your prediction is correct...

 

I don’t get why it’s hard for you to understand you actually have to stick around for date 4,5+ to meet women who have sex on those dates. Those women are less likely to be down for casual though

 

I think he's saying women aren't valuable enough to give it that much time.

[Imajerk17]

Well OP, here is the thing...

 

Ever meet a woman who believes that the only way to know if a man is worth dating is if he buys them things and takes them out on expensive dates. As in, he has to majorly court her and jump through all these hoops before she will even consider getting physical with him. Even a guy who *would be* into treating his woman would be quite turned off. See no one, not even a generous guy, wants to feel like a meal ticket. No one wants to feel used. The guy may be a very giving guy indeed, but he has self-respect.

 

Maybe something similar is going on here. You insist that a woman who is interested will want to sleep with you right away, even if you do cheap things like go for cheap sushi and only pay your half, and you don't seem all that into her beyond sex. What you are missing though, is that no one likes to feel used, no one likes to feel cheap, including (or especially) women who could be interested and who love sex.

 

Now I have had sex on the first date, but every time it happened, it felt like 'it just happened'. We went out, had great chemistry, and then she invited me in, and one thing led to another. Maybe I paid for the date or she paid, or maybe I paid part of the date, and then she paid...but I sure as hell wasn't going Dutch with her over California rolls. Maybe the woman just had needs and she really was hoping to get laid from the start, but I was smart enough to not screw it up.

 

If the way you approach dating works for you, then I'm not seeing the problem. I suspect that isn't the case though, you doth protest too much. Anyway, the way you go seem to go about things seems kind of transactional, and it is probably a turn-off. Maybe that is why sushi girl cancelled your second date?

Edited March 15, 2018 by Imajerk17

[alphamale]

As I've said to my friends on LS before, unless a woman gives up sex on the first date, sex will never occur in most cases.

 

I disagree about the first date thing. I've had many ladies give up the poontang on dates 3, 4, or 5. If sex hasn't happened by then then, yes, it probably won't happen.

[newyorker11356]

Wow, I went to bed last night and I log in this morning to find this thread has exploded. I’ll try to respond to people’s questions individually when I get a break from work, but my point is that if sex doesn’t occur in the first 1-2 dates, it’s a safe bet that the woman isn’t interested, and further dates are not likely, and that goes for relationships and hookups. I knew going home that there would be no second date because sex didn’t happen, and that was an accurate prediction.

 

My experience (along with numerous other people across the world) speaks otherwise.

Edited March 15, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[RecentChange]

Serious lack of logic and reasoning involved in this "theory".

 

OP - all the time we hear from men how women who put out on the first date "aren't relationship material".

 

But I guess you aren't looking for relationships, you are looking for strangers who will have sex with you, after you both share a meal (that she pays her way for).

 

Honestly, if a girl just wanted cheap hook ups, its probably more rewarding for her to go a sugar daddy route - at least she can get a four star meal and a classy hotel (what kind of sushi can you get for $20?!). Or maybe adult friend finder and find herself a hung, ripped stud to share the evening with.

 

As for my anecdotes, I slept with my husband on the second date (guess I would have been punted for not putting out on the first if he followed your rules), and my other longer relationships (year +), it was probably more like the 5th before we had sex.

 

Do you have any idea of the kinds of numbers and exposure to disease women would have if they put out on EVERY date - gees....

[CatMinx]

He's not saying that, he's saying lack of sex is caused by lack of interest, and if there isn't sex on the first date then there isn't enough interest to make it likely on further dates either.

 

One date is a little too soon to draw the line in my opinion, but if you're getting plenty of dates and you're only interested in sex, there's some logic to it.

 

His idea of interest and the ladies’ he is taking out’s ideas of interest appear to be two different things. He has made it very clear in this thread that he ONLY values women’s bodies..he has no interest in an actual relationship. Therefore he is only judging by whether or not the women he sees put out fast enough for his liking.

 

Therefore he needs to make his motives known before he takes women out in order to gauge whether or not they will put out. He obviously has no use for women other than as a storage unit for his penis for a few moments.

 

Or, alternatively, he should save his money and simply hire prostitutes so that neither he nor the women he dines with get the wrong idea. His real issue is a lack of communication.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

OP, why don't' you just find a FWB?

[Redguitar35]

He's not saying that, he's saying lack of sex is caused by lack of interest, and if there isn't sex on the first date then there isn't enough interest to make it likely on further dates either.

 

One date is a little too soon to draw the line in my opinion, but if you're getting plenty of dates and you're only interested in sex, there's some logic to it.

 

Exactly! This gets it. You stated my argument better than I did.

 

 

I’ve been seeing a lot of threads where guys are sticking around for 4-6 dates still waiting for the woman to have sex or commit to dating whilst at the same time the girl is debating how to break it to them that they have non interest. That is isane in my opinion, and totally unnecessary based on my experience.

[newyorker11356]

Exactly! This gets it. You stated my argument better than I did.

 

 

I’ve been seeing a lot of threads where guys are sticking around for 4-6 dates still waiting for the woman to have sex or commit to dating. That is isane in my opinion, and totally unnecessary based on my experience.

 

Plenty of people wait for 4-6 dates to have sex (and even after), and it happens.

 

The main difference is all you're looking for is casual hooking up/sex. If I was just looking for that, then yeah, I would agree with you that I'd want sex within 1-2 dates.

[normal person]

I’ve been seeing a lot of threads where guys are sticking around for 4-6 dates still waiting for the woman to have sex

 

Sex after 4-6 dates is far more plausible than after 1.

 

or commit to dating

 

How is going 4-6 dates not "commitment to dating?"

 

whilst at the same time the girl is debating how to break it to them that they have non interest.

 

It seems rare to go out with someone 4-6 times just because you simply can't figure out how to tell them you don't want to go out any more. A good rule of thumb is, if someone wants to see you multiple times, it's pretty safe to assume there's interest. At some point after it's understood that there's interest, assuming all the other boxes get checked (she feels comfortable, etc), there might at some point be sex. I'll concede that if there wasn't sex after 4-6 dates, I'd scratch my head. 1-2, sure it happens sometimes. But it's the exception rather than the rule.

 

That is isane in my opinion, and totally unnecessary based on my experience.

 

You can probably find much, much, much more anecdotal evidence to the contrary.

[alphamale]

OP, why don't' you just find a FWB?

 

that's easier said than done CO

[Redguitar35]

^^^cosign

 

OP--you're the common denominator in your experiences... and these various, unrelated women are bailing, so you might want to look a little closer than further for your answer.

 

I started getting sex pretty regularly once I threw in the towel on relationships. I’m not complaining about lack of sex. A lot of these ladies I’ve bedded I would’ve thought were out of my league in terms of their physical attraction. It’s the occasional ones that don’t lead to sex after spending a fortune that are annoying.

 

 

RedGuitar35

 

 

You want all the fun & none of the responsibility. You don't want to go on a date, pay for a meal or drinks or spend time with the woman. You just want to get off & get out.

 

 

 

Basically yes.

 

 

If you were looking to get laid on the first date why would you go out for sushi

 

 

Believe me, my preference is for the lady to come straight over to my house to Netflix and chill. Unfortunately some women like to be wined and dined a little before getting down to sex. I assumed she was one of these ladies. My wallet wasn’t happy.

 

 

 

As for my anecdotes, I slept with my husband on the second date (guess I would have been punted for not putting out on the first if he followed your rules),

 

1-2 dates is reasonable, so you would have been fine. That says you were interested in him.