I'm not sure what is happening with this guy ?

[JuneL]

There seems to be a lot of cuddling and falling to sleep together at this early stage...

[amkxoxo]

So last night his bumble changed to be in a nearby town to his house. Which means he was most likely there at some point. That is where a lot of bars are at that he goes to, so he most likely went with the guys. But my thing is, that if he has energy to do that, then he has energy to see me.

 

But then I go back to my denying him on friday. I thought he wanted a booty call, but he really probably just was excited I was back and wanted to see me, so making any late night plans with me last minute is probably off the table. My friends say it was a minor mistake on my part and he will most likely just get over it. Not something worth him stopping talking to me over. They think he will come around once his work calms down. My friends said that he hasn't tried to make moves on me or booty call me up until this point, so he most likely wasn't suddenly going to start doing that. I feel bad I messed it up. With my past history with men, I just assumed.

 

My friends insisted I saved it with my comment that I was really tired, but I did want to see him and how about tomorrow? My friend said that made it even better. I wanted to see him and I made it clear. My friend also thought that him going out with his buddies was normal. She said her boyfriend did it all the time. She also said she totally understands him not seeing me during his hectic week. She said her boyfriend can get like that after a long work day. She said as a man, guys who have had a long day want to go home, eat, drink a beer, watch sports and pass out. They think of seeing you as they have to put in effort and entertain you, and she said they just don't feel like it so most likely they won't want to see you. She said as woman, we are much better at the being tired and worn out thing, while also wanting to see them. We handle this better, whereas guys just want to have some alone time to chill and pass out.

 

I got what she was saying. She thinks that it isn't a big deal and she thinks once his work simmers down a bit that he will come back, especially if he still texts me every day. I hope she is right. She gave me some good insight into how her own boyfriend is, and it made a lot of sense. I keep thinking that this guy has a mind like me, a girl, but he doesn't.

[Cookiesandough]

I agree so much with Olive ... This guy would make time for you if he was that interested, no doubt about it. He's not that interested and has not been for awhile (since the booty call thing when he got back, perhaps before) Things were probably not escalating fast enough physically, as Lorenza said, and he lost interest in much outside of that. He WILL string you along as long as you allow, or until he gets bored, or he finds someone else he does want to concentrate on exclusively. Why you are buying these excuses and holding on to his string is beyond me, but he's probably very attractive to you and that combined with him being "out of reach" is gets your motor going, I guess. You are behaving needy, waiting around for him, knowing he can come back and pick you up whenever he wants. That's not attractive to guys...knowing that they can blow you off and come back and you'll be like "Ohh, that's totally fine!". You are stalking his location on bumble, rehashing everything, tip toeing around, panicking on whether you should ask to meet him because you don't want to 'disturb' him. All before you even know he is interested in continuing anything more than a booty call! Sorry if this is harsh it's just so painful to see happening. I feel like you will not move on until this gets dragged out a lot more

Edited August 10, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[amkxoxo]

I guess its just, I never meant for him to think I didn't want to get physical. I did. I was attracted to him in that way. I feel bad if he got that impression. I just get afraid because that is not all I am looking for. I want a relationship with someone. I feel like he did prove, through our dates, that he is looking for that too. But I still doubted him. I don't know when he pulled away. I don't know if he pulled away. He genuinely could be busy. But I, like you, find it hard to believe he is that busy. But he did mention it early on that he could be in August, so maybe he is. I mean he seemed to know he was going to be way ahead of time. I hope my friends are right.

 

I mean last Monday we were texting and he was talking about us being naked and we were heavily flirting about the next time we get a little hot and heavy. Doesn't sound like someone who is suddenly dropping interest.

 

I feel bad not accepting his lifestyle, or excuses, as you put them because he warned me right away how it might be with his work. I think its good he told me up front. Think about if he didn't say anything and then had this busy week or worse, took off for the winter and I had no heads up. I would be a lot worse than I am right now. I can accept his lifestyle as it is, if I have some validation. I feel like the timing with my trip, then the possible booty call, with him getting super busy at work this week, all together created this huge cloud of confusion for me as it all seemed to happen at once, and I can't decipher what is going on with it.

[Lorenza]

This guy doesn't even have to move a finger to pull at your strings, like a master puppeteer indeed!

 

I've been there, OP, at the exact situation of making countless excuses for some guy who didn't fulfill my needs to the slightest. It all comes down to low self-esteem and inner belief that this is what you're worth, not more. But it's not true. You're worth a relationship where don't have to try your hardest to convince yourself that you're ok with low investment and low expectations.

 

The only way to build up self-worth and self-esteem is to learn to walk away from men like that. Throw out all the "busy", "tired", "can't" he is giving you and find someone who will turn "can't" into "can't wait to see you, how about tonight?".

 

What you're posting now sounds like a mantra to make yourself in peace with what you actually don't want to tolerate.

[Cookiesandough]

I guess its just, I never meant for him to think I didn't want to get physical. I did. I was attracted to him in that way. I feel bad if he got that impression. I just get afraid because that is not all I am looking for. I want a relationship with someone. I feel like he did prove, through our dates, that he is looking for that too. But I still doubted him.

If you doubted him at the time, it was probably your gut making you feel so. You are making excuses through rose-colored hindsight glasses because you are wanting to make this work now that he has pulled away. You think the fact that he went on 6 dates with you, many of which were Netflix and chill-like, he wanted a relationship with you? Most men truly interested in you are not going to lose interest just because you haven't had sex with them after 6 dates. That sounds more like a man who was looking for a fling or to get into someone's pants and it wasn't fast enough. You know how when you really like someone, just being in their presence makes you feel good/excited? Men get that way too. I feel like if you slept with him, this story would not have played out much different.

 

But I, like you, find it hard to believe he is that busy. But he did mention it early on that he could be in August, so maybe he is. I mean he seemed to know he was going to be way ahead of time. I hope my friends are right.

 

When guys you meet online say things like "I'm busy a lot" "I'm here for the Summer, but I'll be gone a lot in the spring" "I travel a lot", majority of the time, they are saying that to let you know that they are not looking for anything serious and want you to know that.

 

I mean last Monday we were texting and he was talking about us being naked and we were heavily flirting about the next time we get a little hot and heavy. Doesn't sound like someone who is suddenly dropping interest.

 

It sounds like a man who is only interested in sex. If wanting you to come over to his house at night to have sex is how you define 'interest' , then I suppose he is interested But given that 95% of single men are interested to in 95% women in that capacity I thought that was implicit and I use the word differently.

 

 

I feel bad not accepting his lifestyle, or excuses, as you put them because he warned me right away how it might be with his work. I think its good he told me up front. Think about if he didn't say anything and then had this busy week or worse, took off for the winter and I had no heads up. I would be a lot worse than I am right now. I can accept his lifestyle as it is, if I have some validation. I feel like the timing with my trip, then the possible booty call, with him getting super busy at work this week, all together created this huge cloud of confusion for me as it all seemed to happen at once, and I can't decipher what is going on with it.

 

Again, you are making excuses for him because you want him so much right now, so you'll take whatever you can get. Noooo. He sounds like an accomplished man. He probably got there by going after what he wants. That's what people do. They go after what they want and what's important to them. He is showing you you're not, yet he is this important to you that you will accept his 'lifestyle' [bs excuse]even if that means you're not fully happy

Edited August 10, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[Gaeta]

The difference between you and your friend is that your friend is in an 'established' relationship with her BF. They have a history together, they are exclusive, they trust each other, so it's normal when her bf wants some along time she view it as healthy. Ask your friend if at the very beginning, before being exclusive, if her bf didn't make everything possible to see her!, yes he did!

 

In your case he's not a bf, he is a prospect. This man is suppose to be on his best behavior to win you over. If he liked you to make you his gf he would make sure he sees you and he'd make sure you are his and you're not browsing around and going around possibly meeting someone else! He would close the deal with you! He's not.

 

As for him being afraid to invite you out after 9 pm, that's again your wishful thinking. You got snappy with him because he invited you last minute and into his room. Not because he had invited you out too late.

 

This man has time to socialize, you see it. If he wanted to see you he'd ask you out already for tomorrow, or Saturday or Sunday. He could very well see you on week nights if he planned it 1-2 days ahead.

[Gaeta]

And again...

 

This guy is 24 years old. You really think he wants a long distance girlfriend! You really think a 24year old guy spending the winter in Florida surrounded with his bunch of buddies, surrounded by beautiful women with beach-body, is not up go clubbing and getting his fun? and you're gonna be here (where ever you are) checking his whereabouts! checking where he went, with whom, in what club, and the women there etc etc!

 

Be realistic.

[JuneL]

OP: Is this guy very good looking and physically fit like the other guy who slowly ghosted on you?

[amkxoxo]

He actually isn't. He stays active and works out, but isn't big with lots of muscles. When I first saw him, he wasn't my type at all. He is very short, with not the best hair situation going on, receding hair. But he won me over, because he was cute to me. I like him because he is motivated, confident, and funny. He is smart and loves his family. We had the best time together out talking and laughing. I like him because he treated me so well. It was what I had been looking for from someone for a long while. To be treated with respect, class, and to feel like I was cared about and important.

[Lorenza]

He actually isn't. He stays active and works out, but isn't big with lots of muscles. When I first saw him, he wasn't my type at all. He is very short, with not the best hair situation going on, receding hair. But he won me over, because he was cute to me. I like him because he is motivated, confident, and funny. He is smart and loves his family. We had the best time together out talking and laughing. I like him because he treated me so well. It was what I had been looking for from someone for a long while. To be treated with respect, class, and to feel like I was cared about and important.

 

"...to feel like I was cared about and important."

 

Do you still feel that way?

Doesn't matter how he was in the beginning. He can't keep it up. And if he can't keep it up this early on, it will get worse. Or maybe he sees that it was enough effort to win you over and have you hooked and waiting around until it suits him to meet.

What a prize.

[Gaeta]

He actually isn't. He stays active and works out, but isn't big with lots of muscles. When I first saw him, he wasn't my type at all. He is very short, with not the best hair situation going on, receding hair. But he won me over, because he was cute to me. I like him because he is motivated, confident, and funny. He is smart and loves his family. We had the best time together out talking and laughing. I like him because he treated me so well. It was what I had been looking for from someone for a long while. To be treated with respect, class, and to feel like I was cared about and important.

 

To echo Lorenza. All men are motivated, confident, funny and making efforts at first. Don't they? it's been your experience right? Then when it falls on its face after a couple of weeks you need to move on.

[amkxoxo]

Thanks for all of your help and support. I do feel like you all really listened and did try to see the situation from both sides.

 

I was again talking to a friend today and she said that he most likely didn't lose feelings for me, but I probably did deny him on Friday. But she also said that it might be why he isn't asking me to do anything currently this week. Which isn't a bad thing. She said that I didn't want to be a booty call or accept last minute plans late at night. And I made it clear that I wouldn't. She asked me if I suddenly wanted to change what I want. I said No. She said he isn't asking because the time he is getting is last minute, late at night, and most likely only cuddling up, because its late. And so, he isn't asking because I denied that type of plan already. Which makes sense. Yes, I hope I didn't ruin things. But my friend assured me that I didn't. He just can't provide the type of plans I want right now.

 

after I said "I'm super tired, but I do really want to see you, how about tomorrow?"

 

He replied: "aaahhhhh I already old the guys I would go out with them."

 

I replied "thats too bad, but hope you have fun."

 

He replied "aaaahhhh!"

 

I said "Im passing out, but text me tomorrow?"

 

He replied "Youuuu can text me too you know." With a kiss face

 

I said "Maybe I will, hopefully we can make a plan at some point this weekend" With a hug emoji

 

He says: " Absolutely"

 

Now I feel bad because I want to see him, and if all the time he has this week is late at night and only cuddling, I would take it. I want to see him. I want to cuddle. I just didn't want to only be a cuddle buddy, but I think he knows this at this point.

 

I'm so conflicted. I still like this guy, but I am not getting what I want and need. but I want him.

 

I'm talking to some other guys, keeping things open. I really want him to come around. I can't help these feelings.

[JuneL]

If he had higher interest, he would have locked you down for the weekend. You guys can also get ice-cream or a drink somewhere halfway between the two of you after his late work. There are millions of options that don't involve just cuddling. It was a little rude of him to ask why you were not there in his room after your exhausting trip, assuming he wasn't joking. He should be the one going to you, booty call or not.

[JuneL]

Also, your text convo seems a little dull. His reply of "Abolutely" made it sound like he'll be doing you a favor. I also never understand why people like to answer with such an empty word instead of making concrete plans right away.

[some_username1]

If you doubted him at the time, it was probably your gut making you feel so. You are making excuses through rose-colored hindsight glasses because you are wanting to make this work now that he has pulled away. You think the fact that he went on 6 dates with you, many of which were Netflix and chill-like, he wanted a relationship with you? Most men truly interested in you are not going to lose interest just because you haven't had sex with them after 6 dates. That sounds more like a man who was looking for a fling or to get into someone's pants and it wasn't fast enough. You know how when you really like someone, just being in their presence makes you feel good/excited? Men get that way too. I feel like if you slept with him, this story would not have played out much different.

 

 

 

When guys you meet online say things like "I'm busy a lot" "I'm here for the Summer, but I'll be gone a lot in the spring" "I travel a lot", majority of the time, they are saying that to let you know that they are not looking for anything serious and want you to know that.

 

 

 

It sounds like a man who is only interested in sex. If wanting you to come over to his house at night to have sex is how you define 'interest' , then I suppose he is interested But given that 95% of single men are interested to in 95% women in that capacity I thought that was implicit and I use the word differently.

 

 

 

Again, you are making excuses for him because you want him so much right now, so you'll take whatever you can get. Noooo. He sounds like an accomplished man. He probably got there by going after what he wants. That's what people do. They go after what they want and what's important to them. He is showing you you're not, yet he is this important to you that you will accept his 'lifestyle' [bs excuse]even if that means you're not fully happy

 

Not necessarily. I was very keen on a relationship with a girl recently but the lack of sex by the 6th date was really frustrating precisely because as well as connecting with her personality I was strongly physically attracted. Even though I only had the best intentions it got to a point where I felt the situation was untenable because I couldn’t handle the ‘blue balls’ syndrome any longer. There was always the prospect she could have been dating others and sleeping with them while keeping me on ice. How do you approach that sort of conversation with someone you have been on 6 dates with and not been alone behind closed doors with? I figured that it was better not to have any heavy conversations, if we were on the same page dating wise it should all flow smoothly at the beginning anyway, so i took a bit of a back seat to see if she stepped things up. She didn’t seem to change her behaviour, just kept sending “How was your day hun?” sorta nonsense without organising a further date (I had organised most of the previous ones) or showing she had any real sexual interest bar a bit of mucking around in my car at the end of each date. So I just let it lapse and stopped replying thinking if she was that keen she would follow up and ask what is up- she never did so that tells it’s own story. Who knows what the situation was with her, it doesn’t matter though because fundamentally we obviously weren’t suited because whilst I don’t mind waiting (like it in fact as it shows a girl respects herself) it comes off as suspicious to me if (as a guy) if there isn’t a steady escalation.

 

So take it from me, there are guys out there who have the best of intentions but we are worried about being played as much as girls are. It is so easy for women to get attention that it is always at the back of our minds that you might be holding out on us on purpose while being free and easy with some other guy who is hitting you up on your dating app of choice. It is a fine line, for both genders, in different ways.

[Gaeta]

Not necessarily. I was very keen on a relationship with a girl recently but the lack of sex by the 6th date was really frustrating precisely because as well as connecting with her personality I was strongly physically attracted. Even though I only had the best intentions it got to a point where I felt the situation was untenable because I couldn’t handle the ‘blue balls’ syndrome any longer. There was always the prospect she could have been dating others and sleeping with them while keeping me on ice. How do you approach that sort of conversation with someone you have been on 6 dates with and not been alone behind closed doors with? I figured that it was better not to have any heavy conversations, if we were on the same page dating wise it should all flow smoothly at the beginning anyway, so i took a bit of a back seat to see if she stepped things up. She didn’t seem to change her behaviour, just kept sending “How was your day hun?” sorta nonsense without organising a further date (I had organised most of the previous ones) or showing she had any real sexual interest bar a bit of mucking around in my car at the end of each date. So I just let it lapse and stopped replying thinking if she was that keen she would follow up and ask what is up- she never did so that tells it’s own story. Who knows what the situation was with her, it doesn’t matter though because fundamentally we obviously weren’t suited because whilst I don’t mind waiting (like it in fact as it shows a girl respects herself) it comes off as suspicious to me if (as a guy) if there isn’t a steady escalation.

 

So take it from me, there are guys out there who have the best of intentions but we are worried about being played as much as girls are. It is so easy for women to get attention that it is always at the back of our minds that you might be holding out on us on purpose while being free and easy with some other guy who is hitting you up on your dating app of choice. It is a fine line, for both genders, in different ways.

 

This described a passive man. All you needed to do was to have the exclusivity talk with her. 90% of women are waiting for the exclusivity talk.

 

You are right in the fact you are not compatible, a passive man needs an agressive woman to lead. OP is not an agressive woman. She wants a man to be a man and to be confident enough to verbalize he wishes to date her exclusively.

[Gaeta]

I'm so conflicted. I still like this guy, but I am not getting what I want and need. but I want him.

 

Aren't you always in this type of situation? You need to break the habit and the `constant craving`addiction.

[Cookiesandough]

Not necessarily. I was very keen on a relationship with a girl recently but the lack of sex by the 6th date was really frustrating precisely because as well as connecting with her personality I was strongly physically attracted. Even though I only had the best intentions it got to a point where I felt the situation was untenable because I couldn’t handle the ‘blue balls’ syndrome any longer. There was always the prospect she could have been dating others and sleeping with them while keeping me on ice. How do you approach that sort of conversation with someone you have been on 6 dates with and not been alone behind closed doors with? I figured that it was better not to have any heavy conversations, if we were on the same page dating wise it should all flow smoothly at the beginning anyway, so i took a bit of a back seat to see if she stepped things up. She didn’t seem to change her behaviour, just kept sending “How was your day hun?” sorta nonsense without organising a further date (I had organised most of the previous ones) or showing she had any real sexual interest bar a bit of mucking around in my car at the end of each date. So I just let it lapse and stopped replying thinking if she was that keen she would follow up and ask what is up- she never did so that tells it’s own story. Who knows what the situation was with her, it doesn’t matter though because fundamentally we obviously weren’t suited because whilst I don’t mind waiting (like it in fact as it shows a girl respects herself) it comes off as suspicious to me if (as a guy) if there isn’t a steady escalation.

 

So take it from me, there are guys out there who have the best of intentions but we are worried about being played as much as girls are. It is so easy for women to get attention that it is always at the back of our minds that you might be holding out on us on purpose while being free and easy with some other guy who is hitting you up on your dating app of choice. It is a fine line, for both genders, in different ways.

That's why I said 'most'. There might be a few men in which no sex as early as 6 dates alone would make him lose all interest in a woman he was very keen on(I haven't seen it and I have my doubts), but I don't think your story proves the case. It sounds like you were just doing too much and she wasn't pulling her weight. But even that's different from OP's situation. She has initiated the last date and he keeps texting her but turning down seeing her again.

Edited August 11, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[amkxoxo]

I do think he is so busy working. Again yesterday he seemed to be working all day and night. I texted him and he never ever responded. He sent out a snapchat later in the night showing him still outside, working. And then it seems he went to sleep and passed out, seeing as his activity on social media is non existent.

 

I do think he is busy and I do think he is literally just working super hard.

 

I mean he told me himself that nights have been blurs, meaning he just works, eats, sleeps, works, eats, sleeps, etc...

 

I think he is telling the truth at this point. One of my girl friends suggested I offer to pick up some food, beer, etc... and bring it to him around the time he is going to get off. She said we can just eat and at that point I don't have to be there forever, I can leave, and at least we had some time to see each other and he would most likely be grateful for the food and thoughtfulness, so I can leave or if he asks me to stay then I can stay.

 

My friend even typed out the message for me to send to him, but I have it sitting on my phone "Hey I know how busy you have been and I'd still really like to see you. I was thinking of grabbing some Chinese and beer for when around you get out and we can relax and chill out together"

 

I'm still totally on the fence about it. He already told me this week was no good. But I think it was because the type of plans I was suggesting weren't conducive to his work schedule. This would be convenient, if he was even up for it. She told me she did this a lot when her and her boyfriend were first dating and he appreciated her so much for being there for him when he had worked all day.

 

Again, I am still on the fence. He could say "No" and that's fine. He could say no because he doesn't have the time, or he could say no because he doesn't want to see me. Or I wait it out. He told me he was busy, so I could wait it out until he isn't busy. Hopefully next week will be lighter for him.

Edited August 11, 2017 by amkxoxo

[amkxoxo]

Actually at this point, I don't know if I should ask anymore. I was a creeper and I looked up the sports schedule on his works website. Its right online for anyone to see.

 

This long weekend, yesterday, today, tomorrow, and Sunday he has a tournament all weekend. He told me all about it on a previous date. He said he will be working morning until night non-stop and will probably be dead to the world for a few days. He told me about this. Not sure if I should try and squeeze myself into it or wait until this weekend is over.

[some_username1]

This described a passive man. All you needed to do was to have the exclusivity talk with her. 90% of women are waiting for the exclusivity talk.

 

You are right in the fact you are not compatible, a passive man needs an agressive woman to lead. OP is not an agressive woman. She wants a man to be a man and to be confident enough to verbalize he wishes to date her exclusively.

 

Well, there is leading and then there is leading a horse to water. My job as the male is to figure out which is which and prioritise the girl accordingly. Which in this case I did. Women are told all the time that they are the prize. In hindsight a lot of my dating problems have come from me chasing too hard girls that weren't interested. So now I see myself as the prize. If a girl displays enthusiasm I will lead. If not I will mirror her interest, or lack of, and then ghost if it starts to flatline. With this method I certainly don't get the angst that I used to.

 

To bring this back to the OP I am absolutely looking for a relationship and not sex, but my interest is only finite as I would rather lose the opportunity than be turned into somebody's orbiter/source of attention. There are plenty more fish in the sea, as they say.

[clia]

I think he is telling the truth at this point. One of my girl friends suggested I offer to pick up some food, beer, etc... and bring it to him around the time he is going to get off. She said we can just eat and at that point I don't have to be there forever, I can leave, and at least we had some time to see each other and he would most likely be grateful for the food and thoughtfulness, so I can leave or if he asks me to stay then I can stay.

 

My friend even typed out the message for me to send to him, but I have it sitting on my phone "Hey I know how busy you have been and I'd still really like to see you. I was thinking of grabbing some Chinese and beer for when around you get out and we can relax and chill out together"

 

I'm still totally on the fence about it. He already told me this week was no good. But I think it was because the type of plans I was suggesting weren't conducive to his work schedule. This would be convenient, if he was even up for it. She told me she did this a lot when her and her boyfriend were first dating and he appreciated her so much for being there for him when he had worked all day.

 

Again, I am still on the fence. He could say "No" and that's fine. He could say no because he doesn't have the time, or he could say no because he doesn't want to see me. Or I wait it out. He told me he was busy, so I could wait it out until he isn't busy. Hopefully next week will be lighter for him.

 

Do not do this. You already asked him to get together this week and he told you he was busy. You acknowledge it above and confirmed it yourself by seeing his tournament schedule. Stop pushing it. If something like this was an option, he's had every opportunity to suggest it this week. You are not his girlfriend -- do not do this.

 

I completely understand being busy at work. My husband often works very long hours, and I have also worked very long hours. Maybe he is totally busy at work and has checked out of everything else, or maybe he's not interested in you anymore. You just don't know at this point. It seems like he has generally been texting you and staying in touch.

 

You need to stop stalking his whereabouts and activity and direct your attention elsewhere. If he comes up for air at some point and asks you out again, great. If not, oh well. You move on.

[some_username1]

That's why I said 'most'. There might be a few men in which no sex as early as 6 dates alone would make him lose all interest in a woman he was very keen on(I haven't seen it and I have my doubts), but I don't think your story proves the case. It sounds like you were just doing too much and she wasn't pulling her weight. But even that's different from OP's situation. She has initiated the last date and he keeps texting her but turning down seeing her again.

 

If I had to guess it sounds like he has taken a back seat because he doesn't see it getting physical anytime soon, especially after his offer was shot down, which is very similar to my situation. At the point I was about to invite the girl in around the 6th date she seemed to sense that I was about to suggest it and quickly started complaining of having a headache and having to go home etc. Fair enough. I took that as a bad sign and she became low priority. We continued to text for a few days to pass the time and then I ghosted.

 

I think this guy is of a similar mindset. Lots of cuddle dates (him not making a move is a bit odd but whatever) which suggests he has respect but eventually you get to a point where that is not enough, especially if the girl really turns you on. Personally I am happy to wait to forge a connection but I don't see the point in exclusivity, having sex, not being sexually compatible and then splitting up the next day. Pointless. He might be the same and wants the intimacy before the relationship.

[amkxoxo]

Yeah I spent a lot of time thinking this morning and now that I see he has the tournament, I am going to let it be. He told me of this tournament and told me he was probably going to be checked out all during it. He told me this when we first started dating. Monday when he did have his shift cancelled he was actively talking to me and having an active conversation with me. So he clearly had the time then, and he doesn't now, which is okay. I'm hoping his schedule clears up a bit next week.

 

As for commenting on the him not being okay with us not getting physical fast, I really cannot say. We hadn't yet talked about anything to do with that aspect. I was going to bring it up when I got back from vacation. I thought it be important we talked about our past relationships, not in depth, but enough. I wanted to know how many he had, and when his last one was. And I was going to tell him a but about my toxic three year relationship, so hopefully he understood more about why I am a little un-trusting at times. It takes me a little bit to warm up. I want to get more physical with him. I'm attracted to him that way.

 

I feel so stupid now. He is just working. I feel like all my feelings and energy this week over him were stupid and pointless and I wish I could have kept my cool. My girl friend I saw last night assured me I had every right to feel this way, because he communicated, but he didn't communicate enough. He should have been more clear that this week was the tournament week and he was going to be working morning until night and checked out. I would have understood and felt better about it if I knew. Instead I had to google it. He told me about this weeks ago when we first started dating. Like I am going to remember and know this is that time he was taking about. I didn't, thus my overreaction and overthinking wondering if he still liked me. I feel stupid for continually throwing it out there earlier this week that we should do something. But I didn't know. I didn't know his work schedule. He said 80 hours. How am I supposed to know that its crazy and such.

 

But alas, I feel better now, and I have high hope that he will want to see me again. I'm going to hang back. If he texts me, great and I will answer. If he doesn't, I hope after this weekend he will. I am supportive of his busy weekend. I really hope he comes around.