BC1980 Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 Thank you so much. What would rock bottom be?? It's different for everyone. Judging from your story, it looks like you've hit it enough for a lot of people to walk away. For me, it was breaking NC and calling my ex only to find out he was living life perfectly happy without me. I realized I had agonized for 2 months about calling him, and he had gone on with his life in those 2 months. Actually seeing it (or hearing it on the phone) was quite enough for me to stop subjecting myself to continued pain. At the end of the day, it's up to you to decide how much more abuse and pain you are willing to subject yourself to. This can go on for infinity if you allow it. For a lot of addicts, rock bottom is death, and they never get a chance to live in recovery. Kind of a brutal example, bit it is what it is. Some people live decades chained to the drama of a dysfunctional relationship. Some people stay in that cycle their whole lives. You can't wait around for rock bottom to make the choice for you. You gotta take charge. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 How embarrassing. Everyone says you're beautiful you don't need this ...or what are u doing with him looking at you I'd think you would be the one cheating but looks are nothing it can only get you so far. He's actually the type of person you should listen to and take his bad delivery into consideration to make yourself a better person . People can smell low self-esteem a mile off, and it's about one of the most unattractive traits any of us can possess. You can be an 11, but, if you have bad self-esteem (i.e. willing to take abuse and come back for more), you immediately become unattractive. This goes both ways, for men and women. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanity1 Posted August 16, 2017 Author Share Posted August 16, 2017 Oh btw ....his excuse for wanting to see his ex is to give her his pet, he's moving out and doesn't want it. So why didn't he say that to begin with when I asked him, instead of yelling at me saying its none of my business . Guys he has lying problems....he told my brother that his friend was asking me to sleep with him and have sex------ which was completely not true. He pulled that out of thin air. I think because he was giving this guy attitude for talking to me and my brother called him out on it asking him what's going on because the guys were so hostile. And he was begging my brother to believe him, my brother almost fought his friend. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 If his mouth is moving, he's lying. I guess you fell for a lot of those lies. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanity1 Posted August 16, 2017 Author Share Posted August 16, 2017 If his mouth is moving, he's lying. I guess you fell for a lot of those lies. I didn't believe it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanity1 Posted August 19, 2017 Author Share Posted August 19, 2017 He called me from anothe number I hung up. He msged me on snap chat asking me to come over (?) I said no. He then went on about other guys asking if I'm seeing anyone and he got really upset that I wouldn't hang out with him and sent me msges saying I'm not even a catch , that he would crush those guys I'm talking to. But then says he loves me that's the reason why he keeps trying. He just wants sex! I'm ok tho I'm starting to see him for what he really is ...he's still soooo immature. Trying to kill my self esteem, the only reason why guys like me is because of my looks, I got nothing else. Okay. There's so many nasty things I can say about him but he would love that too much maybe he's not getting an argument out of me.! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 Good. Eyes opened. Now, so that you can stop focusing on this situation, I want you to call every one of your friends, except any who are also friends with him, and ask them to go to lunch or out to a club or to the zoo and get busy doing fun things so you can get this guy out of your head. Fill your head with new fun memories. You will feel so much better once you get your life moving again with friends and activities, or travel if you can afford it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanity1 Posted August 20, 2017 Author Share Posted August 20, 2017 Good. Eyes opened. Now, so that you can stop focusing on this situation, I want you to call every one of your friends, except any who are also friends with him, and ask them to go to lunch or out to a club or to the zoo and get busy doing fun things so you can get this guy out of your head. Fill your head with new fun memories. You will feel so much better once you get your life moving again with friends and activities, or travel if you can afford it. He's been calling from his buddies number since 5am it's now 6:30 am, now calling my house phone which I can't block . When I answered he asked me if I'm laying next to a guy when I said no he doesn't believe me because I won't allow him to come over. He kept texting me paragraphs about him trying and he thinks I'm with another guy that's all he keeps going on about ..good forbid anyone moves on from him. I never gave him reason that I'm seeing anyone yet. I keep getting random calls from different numbers Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted August 20, 2017 Share Posted August 20, 2017 Since you have him blocked on your cell phone (if I remember correctly), take your home phone off the hook and don't answer any calls on your cell from numbers you don't recognize. Or perhaps it's time for some legal action - telephone misuse/harrassment? Also, instead of answering his questions, just hang up once you hear his voice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanity1 Posted August 20, 2017 Author Share Posted August 20, 2017 Since you have him blocked on your cell phone (if I remember correctly), take your home phone off the hook and don't answer any calls on your cell from numbers you don't recognize. Or perhaps it's time for some legal action - telephone misuse/harrassment? Also, instead of answering his questions, just hang up once you hear his voice. Yes hes blocked on my number. I'm not the only one who lives here that's why I answered and thought once I answered him he would stop. It's 10am and I'm still getting paragraphs of texts of him saying he's sorry and that he loves me and to start fresh ( again), that I could have the password to his phone ( he always says that never does) He's tripping out. It's almost been a month since we broken up Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted August 20, 2017 Share Posted August 20, 2017 Yes hes blocked on my number. I'm not the only one who lives here that's why I answered and thought once I answered him he would stop. It's 10am and I'm still getting paragraphs of texts of him saying he's sorry and that he loves me and to start fresh ( again), that I could have the password to his phone ( he always says that never does) He's tripping out. It's almost been a month since we broken up Don't get caught up with his persistence. This is what these types do. It's about control. They will say anything to get back in control again. And because you've shown him in the past that you'll tolerate just about anything, he thinks it's only a matter of time and words before you break your wall down. Every time he texts you, block the number. He's going to run out of cell numbers at some point. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanity1 Posted August 21, 2017 Author Share Posted August 21, 2017 So the whole Sunday was him contacting me, he's been high and drunk. The more I ignore him the more he threatens me, it's come to him threatening me saying he will make me watch him break the bones of ppl I love, and keeps mentioning me with other guys making stories up in his head, and saying he's gonna hurt himself or end up in jail. I screen shot every text. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 It was clear the guy was unhinged just from your first few posts about this relationship. These new developments are only confirming it. You're doing the right thing. If it continues, I would check with local law enforcement and see if there's anything they can do. I know that generally, unfortunately, something actually has to "happen" before they'll really step in, but it doesn't hurt to have this documented with them. Please be careful, OP. I have sadly heard about far too many instances where an abuser gets really extreme when their victim finally breaks free of them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 You really need to file a restraining order against him! Like today! Seriously, this is a real problem. Get him out of your life. File formal charges against him if needed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanity1 Posted August 24, 2017 Author Share Posted August 24, 2017 This has to be the worst , longest breakup ever . So exhausting. He has so many other girls why is he making this living hell for me??? Why do guys cheat on YOU have so many girls, treat u like crap but on top of it feel the need to add salt to the wound. Like apologize and leave!!! Or just leave ! Why be so crappy about it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted August 24, 2017 Share Posted August 24, 2017 This has to be the worst , longest breakup ever . So exhausting. He has so many other girls why is he making this living hell for me??? Why do guys cheat on YOU have so many girls, treat u like crap but on top of it feel the need to add salt to the wound. Like apologize and leave!!! Or just leave ! Why be so crappy about it? How do you know what's going on with him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanity1 Posted August 24, 2017 Author Share Posted August 24, 2017 How do you know what's going on with him? I don't know what's going on with him. All I know is he keeps asking me to come over... My house phone , if you send a text to it the phone rings and reads out the text. 5am in the morning at that. Why is he still doing this ??? It's been a month Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted August 24, 2017 Share Posted August 24, 2017 I don't know what's going on with him. All I know is he keeps asking me to come over... My house phone , if you send a text to it the phone rings and reads out the text. 5am in the morning at that. Why is he still doing this ??? It's been a month Can you block him from the house phone? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanity1 Posted August 24, 2017 Author Share Posted August 24, 2017 Can you block him from the house phone? No I can't Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted August 24, 2017 Share Posted August 24, 2017 No I can't Maybe it's time to change your house phone number. And it is worth the hassle. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanity1 Posted August 25, 2017 Author Share Posted August 25, 2017 It's not my number to change. I wonder if he realizes that it's my house nunber, he doesn't call it just texts. He texted me saying that his room still smells like me. Why is this guy so thirsty for female attention it's sad. Sorry for bumping this thread so much it's the only thing keeping me from replying to him! And snapping . Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 Contact the authorities. Even if there's nothing they can do right now, this needs to be on file. I think you're underestimating the potential danger you're in. It sounds melodramatic, but between his outbursts during the relationship and now his obsessiveness after you've attempted to disengage, this has the makings of something that could end in violence. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanity1 Posted August 25, 2017 Author Share Posted August 25, 2017 Contact the authorities. Even if there's nothing they can do right now, this needs to be on file. I think you're underestimating the potential danger you're in. It sounds melodramatic, but between his outbursts during the relationship and now his obsessiveness after you've attempted to disengage, this has the makings of something that could end in violence. No it's nothing just a immature drunk boy whose not getting his way! Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 Then you'll just have to put up with it a little longer. If you don't contact him, he will eventually give up and go away. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 No it's nothing just a immature drunk boy whose not getting his way! I've been immature in my life, yet I've never said anything close to... The more I ignore him the more he threatens me, it's come to him threatening me saying he will make me watch him break the bones of ppl I love, and keeps mentioning me with other guys making stories up in his head, and saying he's gonna hurt himself or end up in jail. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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