d0nnivain Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 Even in the highly unlikely event that this relationship could be salvaged, sending a text is the single WORST WAY to even try. it guarantees that you won't be successful so don't waste your time. Emotionally laden conversations must be done face to face in person, NEVER over text. 90% of all communication is non-verbal: tone of voice, facial expressions etc. You miss all of that via text. It's a lousy was to communicate. Texting is for quick messages like I love you; please bring home milk etc. It is never to be used to resolve an emotional issue. DO NOT SEND A LONG TEXT. Refrain from e-mails, social media & letters too. I want to say so many things to him but I can't put my thoughts together . To sort yourself out, go ahead & put your ideas down on paper. Yes, pen & paper. Do not use email or text. If you must type on the computer, log off & close all communications programs. Use word processing only. Get your feelings out & on paper . . . in any order. Just get them out. Then fold up the paper & put it away in a drawer for at least a week. Take it back out after a week+ then organize your thoughts. Put it away again for another week+ Then in a safe controlled space, light it on fire & watch it burn. Watch the smoke drift up. Use that to release all your feelings. If you still yearn to see him or talk to him, call him & ask him to meet. Then Talk in person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanity1 Posted July 24, 2017 Author Share Posted July 24, 2017 Even in the highly unlikely event that this relationship could be salvaged, sending a text is the single WORST WAY to even try. it guarantees that you won't be successful so don't waste your time. Emotionally laden conversations must be done face to face in person, NEVER over text. 90% of all communication is non-verbal: tone of voice, facial expressions etc. You miss all of that via text. It's a lousy was to communicate. Texting is for quick messages like I love you; please bring home milk etc. It is never to be used to resolve an emotional issue. DO NOT SEND A LONG TEXT. Refrain from e-mails, social media & letters too. To sort yourself out, go ahead & put your ideas down on paper. Yes, pen & paper. Do not use email or text. If you must type on the computer, log off & close all communications programs. Use word processing only. Get your feelings out & on paper . . . in any order. Just get them out. Then fold up the paper & put it away in a drawer for at least a week. Take it back out after a week+ then organize your thoughts. Put it away again for another week+ Then in a safe controlled space, light it on fire & watch it burn. Watch the smoke drift up. Use that to release all your feelings. If you still yearn to see him or talk to him, call him & ask him to meet. Then Talk in person. Wish I had seen this before I sent a long text Writing it on paper sounds so refreshing . Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 Wish I had seen this before I sent a long text Writing it on paper sounds so refreshing . Sorry we crossed paths / posts. At least now you know you tried. What's done is done. Put him & this in your rear view mirror. Hang in there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 I know . I keep blocking and unblocking him. I feel like I need to tell him how I feel just to end it. For some reason I want him to know how much he hurt me then block him again. He already knows this and should be the one calling you to apologize. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanity1 Posted July 24, 2017 Author Share Posted July 24, 2017 He already knows this and should be the one calling you to apologize. Facepalm. The more I read these replies the more dumb I feel.... He should be the one apologizing yet I'm the one saying I miss and love him. No wonder he plays me, im so dumb. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 You are not dumb. You were in love. You got hurt. We have all done foolish things under those circumstances. Give yourself a break. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 You're not dumb. You are a bit naive like we all are when we are young and give everyone the benefit of the doubt and think surely they cannot really have meant to hurt us, and meanwhile they're only thinking about themselves. This is a learning moment. Next time, hopefully you'll see the red flags earlier and not promise undying love without proof he's really committed. Which is hard to tell at any age, really. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 I blocked him. that's probably the best thing you could do 1 Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 You are a bit naive like we all are when we are young and give everyone the benefit of the doubt and think surely they cannot really have meant to hurt us, and meanwhile they're only thinking about themselves. And not so young anymore. *sigh* You're never too old for a learning moment. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanity1 Posted July 25, 2017 Author Share Posted July 25, 2017 ...you feel like you aren't good enough and worthless. Like something is wrong with you . 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 ......is embrarassment. Someone you loved and trusted has been telling a stranger intimate details about you. Some stranger out there now knows private details about you, your home, your sex life, your insecurities, and could well be sharing them with their friends. Not a good feeling........ 5 Link to post Share on other sites
springy Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 The betrayal 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 ..him thinking I was dense enough not to know. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Been Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 Now the entire relationship is questioned. Was anything they said to you true or was it just BS. And it robs you of your confidence. Makes you doubt yourself. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 ... is that voice in your head that tells you it was because of your shortcomings instead of theirs. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 The loss of trust, respect, and, ultimately, love. That may never be had with that person again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
trustyourself Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 That you thought you knew a person, but you didn't actually know them at all. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 someone else is more desirable than you are to that person 3 Link to post Share on other sites
whatnot Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 I've been lied to and used. If you wanna go out with other guys....no problem....but tell me. No one likes being lied to and no one likes being used. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SSun Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 That it will never be the same again 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 Having my time wasted and being betrayed by somebody I thought could be trusted. When I caught my ex cheating it was like the time I spent with her was just a big waste that could have been spent doing better things. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanity1 Posted July 26, 2017 Author Share Posted July 26, 2017 He still calls me babe. Tells me random things and says he misses my house ...I told him he could pick up his clothes if he misses it that much then acts shocked an asks if he's still allowed over . When we were together he said he just likes being at my house ( I still live with my family) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanity1 Posted July 26, 2017 Author Share Posted July 26, 2017 So here's a little update. Don't be too disappointed in me....I called him. I had him blocked so idk if he even reached out to me. But I ended up calling him and he picked up " hey babe" ( ? Like nothing ever happened ) i asked him the same questions the day before because he was being an ******* he came home five in the morning drunk and probably on drugs when I started hounding him with questions literally till like 11 in the morning . I gave it a day of him being blocked and called him...I told him I could understand if he was still attached to his ex gf that I've been there. If that was the case I could really understand and wouldnt be upset..he said he's not attached to her, I asked him than why did he feel the need to text her, he said he seen her in the car and just sent the text asking her to come over that it was long overdue. He said he shouldn't have texted her. Apparently she eventually replied back but he didn't tell me what she said ...he just said that they weren't hanging out. Yeah right either she rejected him or he's lying....he's lied so much why would I believe anything at this point, and I said exactly that . And he started getting upset yelled at me and said I keep answering your questions and ur never happy with it wtf do u want from me, and hung up on me. He's not very apologetic. Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 Checked the stats and this is the second merge of similar threads on this breakup so we'll call this the official breakup thread and request all discussion of this breakup occur in this thread. Thanks so much! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 block him and keep him blocked, friend Link to post Share on other sites
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