kmyelneo Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 I am so close from breaking NC again (I broke it a month ago). I hate how I am left here thinking of her, and knowing that she probably isn't giving me a second though. I don't know when she's going to be back for me, if ever. She left so many things up in the air and I am scared to message her about it. I can't tell her my feelings and I have so many that I want her to understand and reciprocate. I'm forced to sit back and watch the love of my life slowly forget me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Dumped85 Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 im just anxious with my life now, always anxious. I don't love her at al, but shes all I think about. I regret one bad conversation that pushed her over. but I don't love her, I cant love her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mariposa10 Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 im just anxious with my life now, always anxious. I don't love her at al, but shes all I think about. I regret one bad conversation that pushed her over. but I don't love her, I cant love her. Prioritize things maybe? If you're feeling overwhelmed...? Things do get better believe me. I can relate to your last sentence like you have no idea... Hang in there, buddy, we'll make it! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GeorgesIsntAtHome Posted November 8, 2013 Share Posted November 8, 2013 (edited) I am so close from breaking NC again (I broke it a month ago). I hate how I am left here thinking of her, and knowing that she probably isn't giving me a second though. I don't know when she's going to be back for me, if ever. She left so many things up in the air and I am scared to message her about it. I can't tell her my feelings and I have so many that I want her to understand and reciprocate. I'm forced to sit back and watch the love of my life slowly forget me. I hear ya mate, same pattern here, met that girl on the rebound, 6 years relationship with some jerk who didnt take care of her.. she says she fell for me but wasnt ready, I just think she liked me cause I was giving her attention and affection, it went sour with time I really wasnt feeling good when I was with her but I got attached cause she brought me into the mess that was her life and confused me.. The hardest part is that we werent even together, I feel like I was NOTHING and we fought because of that cause she was confused and confused me, like opening some doors halfway and leaving me doubting even though she told me at first she wasnt ready, she changed her mind so often so of course a guy will think that things might have changed.. bad mistake... she shut the door one day and tought we could just go back to friends, wth? I already had feelings, I was shatered, worse is she is the one who asked for my number at first... all the girls out there, if you're not ready for something serious, DONT GET INVOLVED or "try" to see if it might chnge, we are talking about PEOPLE with FEELINGS here not a pair of Jeans you're trying and can discard if it doens fit anymore.. well, second week of NC now, I went from being someone who makes her happy to not even worth more than the gum under her shoes... I feel worthless, even though I know that it wouldnt have worked out anyway.. She wants to have fun, now some random dude meeting her in a bar would have more importance than me, and I would have given anything for her... can't even be friends cause we fought over the fact that she kissed someone in front of me at a party while she knew that I still had feelings for her, now she associates me with her stupid drunk, irresponsible, jealous ex and this is NOT who I am.. damn me for kissing and having sex with her, never again until it's mutual ! she kindda said we could be friends in the future, now I dont think she really meant it cause she kept pushing me away at last, just to think that a simple "hello" from her, a miserable little text would change my life and make me feel like I wasnt completely worthless, it's crazy thinking that she has that ind of control over my happiness, it makes me angry, feeling vulnerable, I hate it.. I tried to be indifferent, thinking that the good memories will come back to her and she will miss me, SOMETHING... guess only time will tell, but the longer time passes, the more I think she's forgetting me, that I was a weight in her life, it's driving me insane and so angry... I know I have to forget her... Worse is we have common friends, so we'll probably run into each other again... FML Edited November 8, 2013 by GeorgesIsntAtHome Link to post Share on other sites
AnnaAnna Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 I feel i have been getting stronger after 3 months of NC. But the last 2 days things have come into my mind and sleep has been hard. I have found it difficult to eat (Apart from Cheetos) and you are constantly in my mind at the moment. I know i wont break and reach out just want to get over this bump. You have being trying to find out where i am, i heard. But i know you would like to know that i am not over you and i am miserable without you and how wonderful your life is. YOU will never have the satisfaction of seeing me DOWN again. Take care S. Haydn I'm so sorry Haydn. The reason you are going through this now it's probably because you know she's been trying to contact you. I can't even imagine all the things going through your head right now. I am sure you will feel better once you go back home. Stay strong and please, please stay away from Cheetos Take care! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mendsley Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 It's Friday night, and I feel sad. I'm thinking about her and miss her - even after what she said to me, things she did to me and how easily she left me. I feel weak and pathetic because I know she can give a rats ass about me, ugh, I hate this. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AZtragedy Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 Friday night, gotta get to bed early - tired from everything. But, Saturday is the worst.....it will be a long day at work, and then to come home to the quiet, empty house, and remember all the Saturday night "date nights" we had every Saturday for 16 years. It hurts, so much... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ponchsox Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 Feeling good, I have my second date since the breakup tomorrow. Hopefully with each date I will think less about the past and more about the future. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 Feeling like garbage still, but more in an angry sense today, rather than in the depressed sense of yesterday. Can't even look at myself in the mirror. I start judging myself so horribly, nitpicking at every little feature that might be making me not good enough, wondering what I can do to better myself.... and the more I look at myself the more alien and strange I look. Can't stand it. Need to go drown myself in the shower. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
strive Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 Excited. Just booked a mountaineering trip for next month. For the first time I have something new to think about. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riou Posted November 9, 2013 Author Share Posted November 9, 2013 Feeling like garbage still, but more in an angry sense today, rather than in the depressed sense of yesterday. Can't even look at myself in the mirror. I start judging myself so horribly, nitpicking at every little feature that might be making me not good enough, wondering what I can do to better myself.... and the more I look at myself the more alien and strange I look. Can't stand it. Need to go drown myself in the shower. Don't let break ups break your self esteem. Excited. Just booked a mountaineering trip for next month. For the first time I have something new to think about. That's great. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
faithfully Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 happy, very happy happy. going to get a few piercing after work so looking forward to it 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 Don't let break ups break your self esteem. There was no breakup. Just me wanting someone who doesn't want me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
the tank Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 Didnt talk to her since 1 months and half but as still looking her facebook profil picture .... I choose today to block her and delete her phone contact, I also block her instgramm page . I'e done a therapy session and that help me a lot to understand that a liar cannot change . Step by step . That's hard and I still have up and down but I feel better every day ! Link to post Share on other sites
Blastoplast Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 Staying over at my new girlfriend's house helps -- well we're not official, but it's pretty close 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Janni Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 Had a great evening andnight out yesterday. But today I am feeling depressed. Went to the event I had signed up for, but am going home now. Can feel the tears wanting to come out. It's been a long time since I feel that way. My friend thought a guy was flirting with me and said I needed to get laid. Which only makes me even more depressed. I want him to miss me. To fight for me. But I know he won't. It will never happen. He's too depressed to think about anything other than himself. And he's probably also still with her. I don't know why I even care. I don't want him back. I can't ever forgive him. But today it crossed my mind, to be his friend just so he can see us close when I go out, when I have a great time, when I eventually meet a guy. Because I now he won't be okay with it. No matter how indifferent he acts and seems, I know he hasn't realized that I will find someone else. At some point. And it will kill him as much as all this is killing me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SilverlinedCloud Posted November 9, 2013 Share Posted November 9, 2013 Im feeling good today, its been a week of being highly preoccupied and getting stuff done, i must admit i havent really taken much time to consider the ins and outs of him exiting my life completely (see here) http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/435948-signs-struggle-maintain-nc-heal#post5322098 But just deciding to get on things and understanding that without him, im still complete, im still the same person albeit a little more wisdom. I can be happy that the methods i used to recover from our breakup were healthy and while i was concerned about his methods and actions and the levels he would stoop to to get a reaction, im no longer concerned, its not my problem and i hope that he finds it for himself albeit still angry with me unnecessarily Link to post Share on other sites
strive Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 I went to bed feeling really good. Then I woke up feeling really bad because of a dream I can't even remember. Sigh. Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Crappily. Just told him off in the post here thread. I kind of hate him a little bit right now. Wish I could just be indifferent. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
AZtragedy Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Today has been yet another low, low day....... Could not get my wife off my mind all day at work. Could not stop thinking about EVERYthing, including tonight. On the verge of writing an email asking her to come back, to try and make things work, to not give up on us. I better just go to bed and pretend like today never happened....it may as well not have, since it was basically a wasted day of my life that I can never get back. Link to post Share on other sites
strive Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Angry and frustrated that my daughter isn't home yet. Either she is being used in power play mind games or they don't respect the weekend arrangement enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Chris715 Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Another rough night. Was planning to hang out with friends when I got off work and keep myself busy. Turns out everyone is either sick or busy, so my Saturday night ended up being me staying home. Naturally my depression took hold, worse than ever. Spent a good deal of the night thinking about her some more, dwelling on my depression, my problems, you name it. Only good thing to come out of it is that I was so, so close to unblocking her on Facebook and checking her profile, just for the hope that I could see she's broken up with whoever she's been dating for some brief happiness on my part. But nope, restrained myself and kept NC. Whatever, she's probably still dating someone, having the time of her life at her out of state school. **** her and **** tonight. Link to post Share on other sites
30andsad Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Very rough morning. Been trying to stay busy but she moved all of her things out yesterday from the house we bought together almost 2 years ago. We lived together 1 year before that in my old condo. Just having all of her stuff gone really makes it so much more evident she is gone. Our dog is back with me here for the month before she gets her for the month, which helps some to have my pup nearby...still a very tough time though. 6 weeks since she left for a break. 4 weeks since she called it off, completely moved out yesterday. Just feel sick about it all. Issues on both ends, but had I been more giving of my time and concerned with her priorities, it probably wouldn't be over. Feel like I've lost the love of my life with this one and a woman who would have been a great wife to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riou Posted November 11, 2013 Author Share Posted November 11, 2013 There was no breakup. Just me wanting someone who doesn't want me. Theres more people out there.. Keep crying, one month NC (5 1/2 year relationship) after seeing each other every day and talking day and night. It is real cold turkey. I am so down and keep having nightmares. I cannot think of anything else. ): Need tranqs to sleep and then I wake up in a cold sweat. I never want to fall in love with anyone again in my life...... it just takes too much of your life. I miss him sooooo much, part of me is missing, I just want to see him and hug him....... (sob).. my heart is broken It will get better.. Nice song. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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