Fiance got a lap dance WITH touching at friend's bachelor party...

[T-16bullseyeWompRat]

Yes, because she TRUSTED him to make good decisions that would reflect his loyalty and respect for her. She didn't expect he would cross those boundaries. Most men who are respectful of their partners would not need to be told, "hey, btw, please don't grope a naked women as she sits on you and grinds you."

 

As stated. That is what happens with a lap dance. If you are stiff as a board (no pun intended lol) and gripping the sides of your chair, the dancer will do things to loosen you up. For example, they will place your hands on their asses. Try anything to get you to loosen up a little and enjoy it. So you then pay for another dance. That is just how it works. Sorry you ladies think it's something else. That's how a lap dance goes. If you are ignorant about a subject, you probably shouldn't give your OK until you have an understanding of that subject.

[Fight0rFlight]

haha...OP, your post made me laugh.

I'm sorry this happened to you and you feel that way.

 

As you've seen, opinion is usually widely divided on this matter.

Same way I've met girls who love Porn, and some who find it disgusting.

 

You've been with your now-fiancee for 5 years, I guess he should known his boundaries, that being said, how clear were you about the boundaries?

Did you explicitly say no touching?!

It's a Bachelor party, in Vegas, he touched a stripper?! oh no...

It's like being angry at someone for getting a tan after 2 weeks in Barbados.

 

27 year old, about to get married, NEVER been in a strip club...i'm a guy, i totally get it, and from my perspective, it doesn't mean ****.

Also, did he go alone? He was between friends!

Those ladies are paid, it's a job...there is ZERO intimacy, she does not give one f!@)# about your fiancee. She got her $$$, is probably happy she spent the night in the company of "gentlemen" (and not rude jerks for once that week), and off she goes to her next job.

The fact that no other guys did (besides the bachelor) doesn't mean anything, they probably had several lap dances before, had enough with the live porno show, didn't want to spend the $$$, didn't find the girl attractive, were embarrassed between their other mates...etc...

 

Hope you can learn to get past it, and for him to learn what's okay or not okay according to your relationship do's & dont's.

 

Just know that if my wife had some 6-pack "Greek God" grinding my wife while she's out with her girlfriends and she grabbed his butt and pecs, I would 1) not want to know about it (ask her, did you have a good night with your girls? great!), 2)wouldn't think anything of it as long as it doesn't happen regularly.

The reality, if she wants to cheat, she will do it regardless of what I say, do, or impose on her. Same goes for your fiancee.

[Arieswoman]

T then B;

 

If you understood how completely meaningless a lap dance is to most of us you wouldn't feel this way.

 

Then if they are so meaningless, why do it?

 

And they certainly weren't meaningless to the OP's fiance because he rang her up from Vegas specially to tell her he'd had his first one. He sounds about 17 not 27.

 

OP I'm sorry but your fiance is immature and has poor boundaries. It's OK him saying he doesn't want them at his batchelor party, but if these same guys go as well then what if they pay for a "surprise" for him? Is he going to walk away?

You two have some serious talking to do.

 

And, T then B, if you have a look through these pages you'll see quite a few posts from girls who said "OK" to their significant other going to these events and then got upset when boundaries got crossed.

 

So to a lot of women these "do's" aren't "meaningless" at all.

[VeveCakes]

If you understood how completely meaningless a lap dance is to most of us you wouldn't feel this way. Lap dances are about as intimate as getting your car washed, despite how they look.

 

When done in a room full of people, it's more about making your buddy's laugh and hoot and holler than about wanting to get physical with Cinnamon, or Mercedes or whatever poor girl is crawling around the room in her panties.

 

Seriously, it's nothing.

 

It's not nothing to many gf/wives though. Go get your hoots and hollars elsewhere. It's disrespectful end of.

 

If the woman is fine with it...fill your boots. Most women that are fine with it have never actually spent time in a strip club, with strippers, and don't know the ins and outs of the business. The more you know, the less cool with it they would be I would imagine. Then again lots of women are also out cheating, so why would they care if their man grabbed a boob. Those who do think it's appropriate like myself, tend to have clear boundaries in a relationship. I can assure you I am cool as hell and I would be ok with someone going to a strip club although I find it childish....there is NO way in hell I would be ok with touching.

[T-16bullseyeWompRat]

It's not nothing to many gf/wives though. Go get your hoots and hollars elsewhere. It's disrespectful end of.

 

If the woman is fine with it...fill your boots. Most women that are fine with it have never actually spent time in a strip club, with strippers, and don't know the ins and outs of the business. The more you know, the less cool with it they would be I would imagine. Then again lots of women are also out cheating, so why would they care if their man grabbed a boob. Those who do think it's appropriate like myself, tend to have clear boundaries in a relationship. I can assure you I am cool as hell and I would be ok with someone going to a strip club although I find it childish....there is NO way in hell I would be ok with touching.

 

You claim to know the ins and outs, then you probably shouldn't be cool with someone going to a strip club if you don't like touching. Cause that is what happens. There's the ins and outs for you. Sometimes you are slapped in the face with titties. That is touching. Dancers will place your hands on them. That is what happens. They will put you in a corner so they can place their hands on the ground and feet on the wall behind the patron, then grind their asses in the patrons face. Some will even run their nips on your lips. That is what happens. So no, you shouldn't be cool with then going, cause that is the stuff that happens. Dancers will do their job to get those $20s. That includes making the patron touch them. Clearly you don't know the ins and outs. Im 32 and have only been to a strip club 5 times in my life, so it's not like I got all this experience with strip clubs. If you think there is no touching, then clearly you DONT know the ins and outs.

 

Again, the no touching rule is rarely followed and only enforced when a dancer complains about a patron. Some

Douche makes the dancer uncomfortable, she can have him kicked out for touching. That is the reason for the rule. The dancers have no issue with touching if it is on their terms not yours. That is why the rule is in place.

[MightyPen]

It's not nothing to many gf/wives though. Go get your hoots and hollars elsewhere. It's disrespectful end of.

 

If the woman is fine with it...fill your boots. Most women that are fine with it have never actually spent time in a strip club, with strippers, and don't know the ins and outs of the business. The more you know, the less cool with it they would be I would imagine. Then again lots of women are also out cheating, so why would they care if their man grabbed a boob. Those who do think it's appropriate like myself, tend to have clear boundaries in a relationship. I can assure you I am cool as hell and I would be ok with someone going to a strip club although I find it childish....there is NO way in hell I would be ok with touching.

 

Again, everyone has a different line. And the OP never drew hers. That's on her.

 

Yes as I said before, too much crosses into "cheating" territory for anyone! No one can say, "Oh well it's a stripper, so banging her isn't cheating."

 

No one can say, "Oh well it's a stripper, so getting a blow job is okay."

 

But when a naked chick is grinding on your erect penis, it's (very) natural to grab her hips, when allowed. It's human nature. And I really don't get why it's bad for the guy to grab her hips when it's "okay?" for her ass, which is probably barely covered, to slide all over his lap? Come again?

 

It's like if my wife went to some men's review, and the guy rubbed his junk (covered in a thong) on her leg, and I was like, "Oh that's cool!" but then the guy had her put her hands on his chest, and I'd be like, "Oh hell no!!!!!"

 

I mean it doesn't make sense. It's not logical at all.

[VeveCakes]

You claim to know the ins and outs, then you probably shouldn't be cool with someone going to a strip club if you don't like touching. Cause that is what happens. There's the ins and outs for you. Sometimes you are slapped in the face with titties. That is touching. Dancers will place your hands on them. That is what happens. They will put you in a corner so they can place their hands on the ground and feet on the wall behind the patron, then grind their asses in the patrons face. Some will even run their nips on your lips. That is what happens. So no, you shouldn't be cool with then going, cause that is the stuff that happens. Dancers will do their job to get those $20s. That includes making the patron touch them. Clearly you don't know the ins and outs. Im 32 and have only been to a strip club 5 times in my life, so it's not like I got all this experience with strip clubs. If you think there is no touching, then clearly you DONT know the ins and outs.

 

Again, the no touching rule is rarely followed and only enforced when a dancer complains about a patron. Some

Douche makes the dancer uncomfortable, she can have him kicked out for touching. That is the reason for the rule. The dancers have no issue with touching if it is on their terms not yours. That is why the rule is in place.

 

I'm well aware of what happens at a strip club...probably have been to more than most guys on here lol. The thing is, you CAN go to a strip club and just have some drinks and watch. You don't HAVE to partake in lap dances....of course there is touching, there is also blow jobs and full blown sex here in Canada. It's a given. The owners expect it from the girls...so anyone in Canada who thinks shes just a stripper is fooling themselves, they are low paid escorts. It's different in the US, but I have been in strip clubs in 6 different states, it's different depending where you go.

 

So when I say I am cool with someone going to a strip club, I'm talking going and sitting and having some drinks and watching the girls dance.

 

MightyPen actually agreed with your post...I don't think hands anywhere on any woman is ok...other than maybe consoling someone. I mean I wouldn't want my bf having his hands on any womans hips let alone a strippers. I myself wouldn't be touching a male stripper either, because I have boundaries when I'm in a relationship.

 

You are right it is up to the OP, regardless...she is upset now.

[TrustedthenBusted]

T then B;

 

 

 

Then if they are so meaningless, why do it?

 

And they certainly weren't meaningless to the OP's fiance because he rang her up from Vegas specially to tell her he'd had his first one. He sounds about 17 not 27.

 

 

And, T then B, if you have a look through these pages you'll see quite a few posts from girls who said "OK" to their significant other going to these events and then got upset when boundaries got crossed.

 

So to a lot of women these "do's" aren't "meaningless" at all.

 

To be clear(er) I said they are meaningless " to most of us" ( meaning us guys ) because it was being compared to cheating, which is definitely not meaningless to anyone.

 

Why do it? Because it's fun and funny and risque' but ultimately harmless in the scheme of things. it makes for a better story, and gives guys something to giggle about in the garage for a few months.

 

My wife had a bachelorette party and likely had some oily six pack ab having 20something sliding all over her on a stage in front of her friends.

 

Do I think she still pines for him today? Has it affected my marriage? My life? My anything? No. It was 30 seconds of foolishness on a wild night.

 

If a couple can't handle something as benign as that, oh boy....are they in for a rough road.

[SoleMate]

If you understood how completely meaningless a lap dance is to most of us you wouldn't feel this way. Lap dances are about as intimate as getting your car washed, despite how they look.

 

When done in a room full of people, it's more about making your buddy's laugh and hoot and holler than about wanting to get physical with Cinnamon, or Mercedes or whatever poor girl is crawling around the room in her panties.

As another angle, I am revolted at the lack of empathy among the "buddies" who "hoot and holler" at a "poor girl" "crawling around the room in her panties".... That is not a way to treat a fellow human being, and it also turns female sexuality into a laughable sideshow instead of something to be treasured.

 

I can understand a group of 12 year old boys hooting and hollering due to their immaturity. But for men in their 20s, I expect them to act like grown men and treat others with dignity. So for me it wouldn't necessarily be the nudity or sexuality per se, it would be the denigration and exploitation of women and women's sexuality.

 

Plus the lies. If someone really thinks it's OK to have a strange woman rub herself on him for money, he should go ahead and own that and admit it, just like all of us should own and admit everything we think is OK.

[BettyDraper]

It's not nothing to many gf/wives though. Go get your hoots and hollars elsewhere. It's disrespectful end of.

 

If the woman is fine with it...fill your boots. Most women that are fine with it have never actually spent time in a strip club, with strippers, and don't know the ins and outs of the business. The more you know, the less cool with it they would be I would imagine. Then again lots of women are also out cheating, so why would they care if their man grabbed a boob. Those who do think it's appropriate like myself, tend to have clear boundaries in a relationship. I can assure you I am cool as hell and I would be ok with someone going to a strip club although I find it childish....there is NO way in hell I would be ok with touching.

 

I've known many strippers and escorts. That's precisely why my husband feeling up a stripper during a lap dance wouldn't bother me at all. It's all in good fun for men and a task no more exciting than brushing her teeth for the working girl.

 

I'm wondering why a woman cannot be fine with such things with the pearl clutching crowd taking shots at her character. It's such a narrow minded and immature attitude; "If you don't agree with me, there is something wrong with your opinion!" If women who are against their partners groping strippers are not necessarily insecure, it stands to reason that those who are fine with that do not automatically lack respect for themselves or boundaries within a relationship.

[BettyDraper]

To be clear(er) I said they are meaningless " to most of us" ( meaning us guys ) because it was being compared to cheating, which is definitely not meaningless to anyone.

 

Why do it? Because it's fun and funny and risque' but ultimately harmless in the scheme of things. it makes for a better story, and gives guys something to giggle about in the garage for a few months.

 

My wife had a bachelorette party and likely had some oily six pack ab having 20something sliding all over her on a stage in front of her friends.

 

Do I think she still pines for him today? Has it affected my marriage? My life? My anything? No. It was 30 seconds of foolishness on a wild night.

 

If a couple can't handle something as benign as that, oh boy....are they in for a rough road.

 

This. My husband wouldn't care if I went to a strip club. It's just that I went once when I was 19 and saw no need to repeat the experience.

 

Marriage and life are much too stressful to worry about small matters like this.

[BettyDraper]

For me, any kind of sexual interaction with another woman is cheating, wether paid for or not, wether admitted to, or not.

 

The same applies to male sex workers, of course.

 

Those are my boundaries.

 

Anybody else can set their boundaries wherever they like, and I am ok with that.

 

This is a very diplomatic response.

 

You are not shaming anyone who has different boundaries in their marriage.

[VeveCakes]

I've known many strippers and escorts. That's precisely why my husband feeling up a stripper during a lap dance wouldn't bother me at all. It's all in good fun for men and a task no more exciting than brushing her teeth for the working girl.

 

I'm wondering why a woman cannot be fine with such things with the pearl clutching crowd taking shots at her character. It's such a narrow minded and immature attitude; "If you don't agree with me, there is something wrong with your opinion!" If women who are against their partners groping strippers are not necessarily insecure, it stands to reason that those who are fine with that do not automatically lack respect for themselves or boundaries within a relationship.

 

I never once clutched pearls or took shots at the character of the dancers....not once. I also had a few close friends who danced for many many years. I don't even understand where you got any of your comment from what I wrote. I never said anything about people not agreeing with me...I'm simply voicing my opinion as I can see why the OP is upset.

 

If someone is fine with their partner having a naked person grinding on them all the power to them...just like open relationships...not for me but if both parties are find with it then there is no issue. The issue here is the OP is not fine with it, and I can personally understand why.

[BettyDraper]

If you dont like it, that's your concern and your choice. It doesn't mean those of us who dont consider a lap dance cheating dense individuals.

 

That being said, just because you dont know about it doesnt mean your man never does it. He probably just doesnt tell you. If you dont want your man around a stripper, by all means, tell him not to go to a bachelor party in the first place. Dont tell him its cool and then interrogate him and his friends afterwards. That IS insecurity. Especially if youre going to stay with him anyway.

 

And strippers isnt a "boys thing", there are plenty of male strip clubs frequented by single and married women. Now if a dude got pissed at his gf about going, would we be telling him she's a filthy tramp for even going? Of course not.

 

Strippers arent random chicks at bars, theyre a fantasy. They do the things your man/woman cant or wont. Theres no feelings involved, unless you go there to fall in love and those feelings are rarely reciprocated.

 

Its so nasty and yet your daddy went, your grandaddy went, your great grandaddy, uncles, cousins, etc.

 

That's the crux of this issue. It's nonsensical to behave as though certain activities are fine and then get angry when expected follow ups occur.

 

I love the way some people are naive enough to think that women do not enjoy ogling sexy men.

 

I'm not ashamed to say that if Morris Chestnut grinded on my lap in some strip joint, I would surely grab his ass and run my hands across his chest. Guess what? My husband would just laugh and our marriage would not be affected.

[Mr. Lucky]

IMO, let this event go.

 

That reaction is a bit over the top.

 

I would let this one go

 

I think it's a waste of time in this (or any other case ) telling the OP how she should feel. She feels how she feels, no need for her to defend those feelings, they're obviously very real to her.

 

So where does she go from here? Driver, can't unring the bell so what would happen from here that could make you feel better about things? A 5-year relationship without previous issues seems like a lot to throw away...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Jersey born raised]

I have never understood the need for one more mis-adventure. If you need one is your head screwed on right? Is not the fiancé made to feel that their partner is settling? I believe part of the gap between "no big deal" and "no way" resides in how each group views intimacy vs sex.

 

My personal view is lap dancing is sexual in nature, not intimacy. However I think OP is correct when she views it as an act of intimacy when it occurs within a monogamous relationship and is a huge red flag. It signals different view points on what is intimacy.

 

Without knowing your fiancé past behaviour, only you are in a position to know if this is a step to far. You can start be looking at his family (Esp the parents) and friends. Yes it very possible he was young and dumb. The question is can he grow without you dumping him and in the future experiencing the same thing except he is the one left wondering.

[Arieswoman]

BD,

 

It's nonsensical to behave as though certain activities are fine and then get angry when expected follow ups occur.

 

Errrrr? What "expected follow ups".

 

The OP didn't expect any "follow-ups".

 

Call me naiive, a stuffy Brit or whatever, but I though lap dances didn't involve the guy touching the dancer, and I expect the OP thought the same.

 

It seems the evening went on the slide when the guys got a special room and paid for "extras" and that wasn't what she expected.

 

So should she be pilloried because she was naiive ?

 

What I find more concerning is that he originally lied about it, which would make me wonder what else he's lied about...

[Jersey born raised]

Oh, in my case it was first the pain of loss that caused me to lose my fiancé to swear I would never allow a girlfriend to say that again to change and then experiencing a young and dumb girl to gain empathy. In my case the reasons where not mis-adventures of the type discussed here, actually it has never been sn issue in my life on my side of the street.

[T-16bullseyeWompRat]

As another angle, I am revolted at the lack of empathy among the "buddies" who "hoot and holler" at a "poor girl" "crawling around the room in her panties".... That is not a way to treat a fellow human being, and it also turns female sexuality into a laughable sideshow instead of something to be treasured.

 

I can understand a group of 12 year old boys hooting and hollering due to their immaturity. But for men in their 20s, I expect them to act like grown men and treat others with dignity. So for me it wouldn't necessarily be the nudity or sexuality per se, it would be the denigration and exploitation of women and women's sexuality.

 

Plus the lies. If someone really thinks it's OK to have a strange woman rub herself on him for money, he should go ahead and own that and admit it, just like all of us should own and admit everything we think is OK.

 

Poor girl? That poor girl that applies for the job? That poor girl that willingly does all she can to walk out the door with $500+ in cash after a six hour shift? I don't seem to recall anyone putting a gun to her head telling her to get out there and dance. Not in this country anyway. So that thought doesn't apply here. I've had one "lap dance" if you can call it that where the girl just stood and danced in front of me. Asked if I wanted another dance I said hell nah. $20 for that? I can watch porn for free at home and it's better then that dance was.

 

So the women have a choice. They choose to do it. So don't act like they are slaves or some oppressed person. They say, "I can make triple if I do xyz" so they do it. Their choice.

 

I admit, I don't care if a strange girl rubs herself on men for money. It's her choice. If I want a dance, I'll choose one who gives a good show. If I just want to watch some girl naked dancing around, I can watch porn for free on my computer/smart phone. No need to cough up $20s.

[BettyDraper]

I never once clutched pearls or took shots at the character of the dancers....not once. I also had a few close friends who danced for many many years. I don't even understand where you got any of your comment from what I wrote. I never said anything about people not agreeing with me...I'm simply voicing my opinion as I can see why the OP is upset.

 

If someone is fine with their partner having a naked person grinding on them all the power to them...just like open relationships...not for me but if both parties are find with it then there is no issue. The issue here is the OP is not fine with it, and I can personally understand why.

 

Oh really?

 

First of all, I was referring to your comments with respect to women who are okay with their partners touching strippers. I don't know how to multiquote, so I will just point out your comments which came across as holier than thou:

 

"... I sure as hell am not insecure but I also respect myself enough to not have a man who is in Vegas groping another woman. "

 

In other words, women who don't feel the same way as you do are disrespecting ourselves.

 

"So if he did it with a girl he met at the bar it would be cheating but in this case not because she is a stripper? OK then....logic, out there anywhere?"

 

So now we're "illogical" because we don't agree with you?

 

"Most women that are fine with it have never actually spent time in a strip club, with strippers, and don't know the ins and outs of the business. The more you know, the less cool with it they would be I would imagine. Then again lots of women are also out cheating, so why would they care if their man grabbed a boob. Those who do think it's appropriate like myself, tend to have clear boundaries in a relationship."

 

If you knew anything about strippers, you would not have said something so laughable. Just because a woman may be fine with her fiance touching strippers during a lap dance, it doesn't mean that she must be cheating on him. Also, boundaries which differ from yours can still be clear.

 

"I didn't say that!" is the typical reply of someone who is being called out for the flaws in her thinking. You don't need to explicitly say something in order to imply your viewpoints or paraphrase them. It's obvious that you're trying to come across as "cool" and open minded but your words are demonstrating the exact opposite. That's why more than one LS member has taken an issue with your posts in this thread.

[BettyDraper]

Poor girl? That poor girl that applies for the job? That poor girl that willingly does all she can to walk out the door with $500+ in cash after a six hour shift? I don't seem to recall anyone putting a gun to her head telling her to get out there and dance. Not in this country anyway. So that thought doesn't apply here. I've had one "lap dance" if you can call it that where the girl just stood and danced in front of me. Asked if I wanted another dance I said hell nah. $20 for that? I can watch porn for free at home and it's better then that dance was.

 

So the women have a choice. They choose to do it. So don't act like they are slaves or some oppressed person. They say, "I can make triple if I do xyz" so they do it. Their choice.

 

I admit, I don't care if a strange girl rubs herself on men for money. It's her choice. If I want a dance, I'll choose one who gives a good show. If I just want to watch some girl naked dancing around, I can watch porn for free on my computer/smart phone. No need to cough up $20s.

 

While I agree that many strippers choose to earn money that way, human trafficking happens in the North America all the time. There are strippers and escorts who are forced into that situation.

 

I concur that there are plenty of strippers who dance for money of their own volition. People would be shocked how many students strip or sell sex in order to pay for college.

[Jersey born raised]

Escorts and strippers are always a victim of CSA or trauma from FOO issues. So by engaging with them (esp prostitutes) you are taking advantage of there past trauma.

[BettyDraper]

BD,

 

 

 

Errrrr? What "expected follow ups".

 

The OP didn't expect any "follow-ups".

 

Call me naiive, a stuffy Brit or whatever, but I though lap dances didn't involve the guy touching the dancer, and I expect the OP thought the same.

 

It seems the evening went on the slide when the guys got a special room and paid for "extras" and that wasn't what she expected.

 

So should she be pilloried because she was naiive ?

 

What I find more concerning is that he originally lied about it, which would make me wonder what else he's lied about...

 

In most strip clubs across North America, touching the dancer is illegal but many strippers will allow it if they are paid enough. At a private bachelor party, it's far more likely that a stripper will ignore the laws to increase her earnings and tips.

 

I stand by what I said. It's naive to think that a stripper at a Vegas bachelor party is not going to be touched at all.

 

I agree that the lying was wrong....however I also think that the OP's fiance knows who he is marrying and he was lying to keep himself out of trouble. He knew that he couldn't be honest with her if he wanted to avoid a huge blow up. I don't agree with lies but I understand why people tell them.

[VeveCakes]

replied in quote

 

Oh really?

 

First of all, I was referring to your comments with respect to women who are okay with their partners touching strippers. I don't know how to multiquote, so I will just point out your comments which came across as holier than thou:

 

"... I sure as hell am not insecure but I also respect myself enough to not have a man who is in Vegas groping another woman. "

 

In other words, women who don't feel the same way as you do are disrespecting ourselves.

 

---Nah, in my opinion its disrespectful, doesn't mean the wife whose man is there has to feel that way. Thats the way I look at it.

 

 

"So if he did it with a girl he met at the bar it would be cheating but in this case not because she is a stripper? OK then....logic, out there anywhere?"

 

So now we're "illogical" because we don't agree with you?

 

---Nope again....I'm saying there is no logic in this thought process. Like it was said by other posters....where is the line drawn? A naked woman grinding on your bf is the same whether at a strip club or not. Whether or not someone is ok with this is something else. If you are ok with one you should be ok with the other otherwise yeah, you are kind of delusional. You don't have to agree.

 

"Most women that are fine with it have never actually spent time in a strip club, with strippers, and don't know the ins and outs of the business. The more you know, the less cool with it they would be I would imagine. Then again lots of women are also out cheating, so why would they care if their man grabbed a boob. Those who do think it's appropriate like myself, tend to have clear boundaries in a relationship."

 

If you knew anything about strippers, you would not have said something so laughable. Just because a woman may be fine with her fiance touching strippers during a lap dance, it doesn't mean that she must be cheating on him. Also, boundaries which differ from yours can still be clear.

 

---Thats not at all what I said but you seem to be taking whatever you want from my posts.

 

"I didn't say that!" is the typical reply of someone who is being called out for the flaws in her thinking. You don't need to explicitly say something in order to imply your viewpoints or paraphrase them. It's obvious that you're trying to come across as "cool" and open minded but your words are demonstrating the exact opposite. That's why more than one LS member has taken an issue with your posts in this thread.

 

---I am cool and open minded...but I also have strong views on cheating/boundaries/etc. Considering my best friend met her now husband met because of me in a strip club....I think I have enough life experience to know what happens in them. You said you went to a strip club once when you were 19. When was the last time you were at one then? You don't have to agree with me...just like I don't have to agree with you

[Jersey born raised]

Tried to edit my last post to exclude human trafficking as possible exception. However once freed from those traffickers they are so broken they adopt the mindset that this is the only thing they are good for.