Online Dating Profile Turnoffs

[Shining One]

I have one that isn't really a turn-off per se... Just something I find a bit odd. I was travelling for work recently and had a rest stop-over in a US city for a few days. While I didn't have time to actually pursue anything, I did break out the OLD apps out of curiosity as I usually do to check out the locational differences.

 

I didn't know that there was such a huge military presence there! Every second guy seemed to be US military; marines, airmen, soldiers, sailors.. All types. The thing I found odd was that they were all in uniform in their pics. Now I've come across military guys in my home country as well. But they have without exception not advertised that in their profiles; it has rather come up in the later what do you do convos.

 

Now I like a man in uniform as much as anyone. But on a profile It just came across to me as a bit... Overt and obvious? Leading with the whole I serve my country thing. And oh btw here I am in my uniform so you can tell my exact rank and service.

 

So as I said not a turn-off... But certainly a little off putting for me :-/

 

I don't know... Maybe it plays well for them in general? Would be interested to know what others think.

An old high school friend of mine uses his military pictures in his dating profile. He gets a lot of ONS, which is all he wants. Thus, it works for his intended purpose.

 

I imagine that these pictures turn on more women than they turn off. Thus, it's a net positive for the men who use them. If I could do something to my profile that turns off 20% of women and turns on 40% of women, then it makes logical sense to do it.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I actually have a real life female friend, late 40's that just LOVES a man in uniform.

 

I've seen a few profiles of women expressing this.

[TheArtist]

OK, I've compiled all the information on here into a list and they are not surprisingly quite similar between genders. They're in no particular order, except maybe for the order that they appeared on the thread as I read through.

 

 

Men hate

 

• Pulling out your tongue
  
• Pouting
  
• Wtng in txt spk/bad grammar. It looks like you can't be bothered.
  
• 'Just ask'
  
• Women asking for a specific height
  
• No picture
  
• Only having photos with a hot friend
  
• 'Looking for friendship'
  
• Cliches ('Partner in crime' etc)
  
• 'I love to laugh!' - We all do!
  
• Overlong disclaimers, usually in uppercase
  

 

Women hate

 

• Shirtless bathroom selfies.
  
• Posting pictures that are from years ago.
  
• Writing very demanding wants like "I want a nice honest girl and she must be...'
  
• 'Looking for friendship'
  
• Wtng in txt spk/bad grammar. It looks like you can't be bothered.
  
• Negativity
  
• 'Just ask'
  
• No picture
  
• Only having photos with a hot friend
  
• Agressive profiles, flipping the bird, etc
  

The big one that both sexes seem to really dislike is cliches, such as, 'work hard, play hard', and the usual, 'I like going out but I also like staying in'. It gives nothing to connect with.

 

Obviously feel free to continue adding your annoyances but I'm buggered if I'm making another list!

[LookAtThisPOst]

I like going out but I also like staying in'.

 

You recall seeing the ones where they say, "I can go from a pair of torn jeans, ball cap, and T-Shirt to a little black dress for a night on the town!"

 

Other photo pet peeves are 8 pictures, all selfies, taken in their car (or not na car). Or pics where you don't see the rest of the body. Or they take photos at odd angles to hide their obesity.

 

I was reading this that the most COMMON thing women fear when online dating, is getting murdered, for men, is that she's fat. lol

 

There's also another one, "I'm a walking contradiction" or quoting the vintage JFK mistress Marilyn Monroe's ==

 

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best!"

 

I think I posted this earlier, but forgot to preface it with the "I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure." sentence.

Edited February 5, 2016 by LookAtThisPOst

[LookAtThisPOst]

OK, I've compiled all the information on here into a list and they are not surprisingly quite similar between genders. They're in no particular order, except maybe for the order that they appeared on the thread as I read through.

 

 

Men hate

 

• Pulling out your tongue
  
• Pouting
  
• Wtng in txt spk/bad grammar. It looks like you can't be bothered.
  
• 'Just ask'
  
• Women asking for a specific height
  
• No picture
  
• Only having photos with a hot friend
  
• 'Looking for friendship'
  
• Cliches ('Partner in crime' etc)
  
• 'I love to laugh!' - We all do!
  
• Overlong disclaimers, usually in uppercase
  

 

Women hate

 

• Shirtless bathroom selfies.
  
• Posting pictures that are from years ago.
  
• Writing very demanding wants like "I want a nice honest girl and she must be...'
  
• 'Looking for friendship'
  
• Wtng in txt spk/bad grammar. It looks like you can't be bothered.
  
• Negativity
  
• 'Just ask'
  
• No picture
  
• Only having photos with a hot friend
  
• Agressive profiles, flipping the bird, etc
  

The big one that both sexes seem to really dislike is cliches, such as, 'work hard, play hard', and the usual, 'I like going out but I also like staying in'. It gives nothing to connect with.

 

Obviously feel free to continue adding your annoyances but I'm buggered if I'm making another list!

 

I think though, some men will email women regardless of what cliche's they have in their profiles. Esp. they are cute (in their eyes). They probably figure, "Well, her profile is cliche'ed, but if she responds and we continue to talk, the rest of the 'getting to know you process' will likley not be cliched"

[AverageJoe1986]

OK, I've compiled all the information on here into a list and they are not surprisingly quite similar between genders. They're in no particular order

 

The big one that both sexes seem to really dislike is cliches, such as, 'work hard, play hard', and the usual, 'I like going out but I also like staying in'. It gives nothing to connect with.

 

Obviously feel free to continue adding your annoyances but I'm buggered if I'm making another list!

 

Nope. Wrote a profile full of banal cliches. With good looking photos it had no effect on the profile's popularity.

[AverageJoe1986]

Nope. Wrote a profile full of banal cliches. With good looking photos it had no effect on the profile's popularity.

 

It can be good for a few harmless pranks though. I told one woman that I was writing the biography of Little and Large. For anyone in the uk under 35 or outside of Britain, Little and Large were a tenth rate comedy double act mysteriously popular in the seventies and eighties. This woman is currently watching their 1980 Xmas special (one of the worst shows ever broadcast in any country) on YouTube and pretending to love it.

[Natalie8]

I have another pet hate. When a guy messages to ask you if he can ask your advice on something, because he really needs honest female opinion.. then proceeds to start a conversation about penis sizes. Either "my gf dumped me for being small. Is being small always an issue? What is small anyway?" Or "would girls dump a guy for being too big?"

I never respond.

 

To the guy above me..playing pranks on women and wasting their time to make them pay for not showing interest in your real profile will only make you more bitter.

Edited February 5, 2016 by Natalie8

[TheArtist]

I have another pet hate. When a guy messages to ask you if he can ask your advice on something, because he really needs honest female opinion.. then proceeds to start a conversation about penis sizes. Either "my gf dumped me for being small. Is being small always an issue? What is small anyway?" Or "would girls dump a guy for being too big?"

I never respond.

 

To the guy above me..playing pranks on women and wasting their time to make them pay for not showing interest in your real profile will only make you more bitter.

 

 

Cripes, this is a thing now?!

[IronZ]

I'm sure it's been mentioned but I've seen this about a bazillion times and just saw a profile today again with the same thing:

 

"Someone who doesn't take himself too seriously."

 

This one is kind of funny to me. Obviously you want someone laid back who can laugh at things and be light-hearted, but why not say that? To me it sounds like you want a guy that doesn't think highly of himself when you say something like that. It's a weird way to put it and it's also very cliche.

[IronZ]

 

Other photo pet peeves are 8 pictures, all selfies, taken in their car (or not na car). Or pics where you don't see the rest of the body. Or they take photos at odd angles to hide their obesity.

 

I was reading this that the most COMMON thing women fear when online dating, is getting murdered, for men, is that she's fat. lol

 

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best!"

 

On your first point, I had a girl message me once with beautiful pictures of her during her "modeling days" as she put it. She was gorgeous. Clearly a model. We got to chatting and eventually went on a date. She ended up being 250+ pounds easily. Very large woman. I've been with large gals before but never this big. I mean we were so vastly different in terms of size that it was weird. I was very offput by it, especially given the fact that I got old pictures of her as a skinny model and got catfished into meeting up with a plus sized girl.

 

So yes, some of us do worry about pictures being misleading. It's ok to be fat, it's not a crime. I just really dislike it when girls try to hide it. Do they think pretending not to be fat will change that fact when we meet them in person?

 

 

Second point, I've seen that cliche quote as well many times. The you don't deserve me if you can't handle me line is so stupid to write on a dating profile because it seems overly aggressive and like you're going to be high maintenance. The profile should be inviting, not making guys think you're hard to please.

[Lois_Griffin]

I couldn't click the 'back' button FAST enough when I'd see that ridiculously over-used cliche saying, "my children are my world."

 

Gag.

[AMJ]

Who calls BS on this guy:

 

"I plan my vacations via proximity to world class gyms, perfectly orchestrated meal breakdowns, and obviously the necessary UV exposure. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now."

 

He says he works in commercial real estate. The funny thing is this dating app shows if we have mutual Facebook friends, and as it turns out- we do!

[TheArtist]

The phrase, 'I'm not 34, I'm 44. It wouldn't let me change it'.

 

Hmm... OK!

[thecrucible]

I'm sure it's been mentioned but I've seen this about a bazillion times and just saw a profile today again with the same thing:

 

"Someone who doesn't take himself too seriously."

 

This one is kind of funny to me. Obviously you want someone laid back who can laugh at things and be light-hearted, but why not say that? To me it sounds like you want a guy that doesn't think highly of himself when you say something like that. It's a weird way to put it and it's also very cliche.

 

Totally agree. I see this on lots of men's profiles. It makes me wonder and I pass on this because I know I am someone with a slightly serious disposition so I am probably not their type.

[IronZ]

Totally agree. I see this on lots of men's profiles. It makes me wonder and I pass on this because I know I am someone with a slightly serious disposition so I am probably not their type.

 

It almost seems like they're looking for a hookup.

[AMJ]

Can anyone answer what is with guys posting pictures next to hot girls?

 

Is it saying- Look, women like me! You'll like me too!

Or- These are the women I think are hot. You should look like them.

Or something else I'm missing?

[Shining One]

Can anyone answer what is with guys posting pictures next to hot girls?

 

Is it saying- Look, women like me! You'll like me too!

Or- These are the women I think are hot. You should look like them.

Or something else I'm missing?

I think it's the bolded. Speaking from experience, some women respond positively to this. Does it turn on more women than it turns off? I don't know.

[jay1983]

Can anyone answer what is with guys posting pictures next to hot girls?

 

Is it saying- Look, women like me! You'll like me too!

Or- These are the women I think are hot. You should look like them.

Or something else I'm missing?

 

I used to see girls do the same thing. IDK, maybe it's their ex they're still in love with or they're setting a standard. Like this is the kind of guy I date.

[AverageJoe1986]

I used to see girls do the same thing. IDK, maybe it's their ex they're still in love with or they're setting a standard. Like this is the kind of guy I date.

 

Yes it's extremely off putting. Maybe that's the point.

[string of letters]

For me, my pet hate in profiles are as follows:

 

• With usernames: those usernames ending with "osaurs". The number of new dinosaur species lurking on online dating sites must be a fossil hunter's dream!
  

 

Yup. Now, you might already know this, but when someone tries to create a username on OKC, but it's already taken, OKC gives them a list of suggestions that they can tag onto the already taken name. '-osaurus' is one of these. I thought it would be kind of funny to create a username that aggregates all of these suggestions together, and it would look something like 'taco_in a box_osaurus_omatic' or something like that. Most people wouldn't get it though, heh heh.

 

A few people have mentioned profiles that barely say anything about themselves. Here's one though: when they barely have anything to say about themselves BUT they have answered hundreds upon hundreds of totally crazy and useless OKC questions. Yikes.

 

A few years ago, I would have been able to add many things to this list, but the fact of the matter is that I'm so benumbed to the dating site I use that nowadays I tend to instantly forget this stuff as soon as I see it. I've reached the point where I sometimes click on a profile, and a week later I'd totally forgotten that I'd clicked on it before and check it again, and then as I see the self-description I remember (Some of these ladies are probably thinking 'Who is this freak who likes me so much that he's always clicking on my profile, but he doesn't have the courage to write me.....' heh...)

 

I was once mildly flustered, though, to learn that *I* had committed someone's online dating peeve. A British woman journalist was bitterly complaining about how many users mention that they'd never owned a TV... as if people who write this are in some kind of cabal and saying this because everyone else does! The fact of the matter is that OKC asks you your preferences in books, music, movies, blah blah blah, so I do think it's quite pertinent to mention this. Still - at the risk of seeming overly sensitive - I decided to delete this tidbit from my profile. Even though I don't actually care what that journalist thinks.

[Karine26]

I often see petty things like "No King's fans" or "no Kobe Bryant Fans" it's like, are you really going to miss out on a potentially great girl because she likes Kobe Bryant?? That is so strange to me!

[Toodaloo]

It can be good for a few harmless pranks though. I told one woman that I was writing the biography of Little and Large. For anyone in the uk under 35 or outside of Britain, Little and Large were a tenth rate comedy double act mysteriously popular in the seventies and eighties. This woman is currently watching their 1980 Xmas special (one of the worst shows ever broadcast in any country) on YouTube and pretending to love it.

 

Dude. You slate Little and Large? They were popular because they were FUNNY!

 

Oh perlease!

 

That is like saying that John Clease is lacking on comedic value!

[AverageJoe1986]

Dude. You slate Little and Large? They were popular because they were FUNNY!

 

Oh perlease!

 

That is like saying that John Clease is lacking on comedic value!

 

Have you actually watched anything of their shows? Syd Little standing still looking blankly at the camera whilst Eddie does one of his genuinely awful impressions of either Deputy Dawg, Cliff Richard or Jimmy Saville. I dare you to go on YouTube and try to last out ten minutes of the 1980 Christmas special. You probably won't even get to Eddie ' stunningly racist Jamaica turn.

[LookAtThisPOst]

The cringe-worthy, "I'm looking for a SWOLE-mate"