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Online Dating Profile Turnoffs


TheArtist

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A 20s something girl who appreciates fancy restaurants and the finer things in life.

 

You're just getting started in life, and you're telling me you already have expensive tastes? I mean I know what is actually being communicated here. I'm not dumb. But if there was money to be had in this manner, I'd actually have more respect for: "I'm looking for someone who can help me pay down my college debt." Proposing that I need to buy you is already insulting. Proposing that I buy you and telling me that you're going to squander the money is insulting and dumb. Fine dining probably isn't an appropriate priority for most people's life situation in their 20s.

 

I should note that it's a turn off for me, but I realize there are probably some guys who are looking for exactly this line in a girl's profile.

 

Now, if a woman was in her mid 30s, had earned her own way and taken a liking to fine dining and paid for it herself for 5 years, then if she wrote that she enjoyed fine dining and attending the symphony, it would have a totally different meaning.

Edited by testmeasure
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My biggest online dating turn offs for women:

 

1. If they have kids or want kids

2. Is a cigarette smoker

3. Has a dog(s)

4. Separated or wants poly/open relationship

5. Posts pictures of herself with other men. FYI ladies, we men don't like to see pics of you with pther guys. We don't care if it's your brother, cousin, dad, nephew, gay or straight best guy friend.

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-Girls who's profile picture is with other people (I think it's called a Where's Waldo pic?)

 

-Girls who have ALL their pictures with other people. Seriously who the eff are you? Which one is you?? I'm trying to meet someone not solve the great dating profile mystery. That just tells me you have no confidence in yourself and trying to hide something, or you're not serious about dating.

 

-Girls who match with you but then don't even respond to any of your messages. What's the point?

 

-Girls who pose with other guys. I'm not saying you shouldn't have guy friends but this is a dating profile. We all know why you're here. Why do we have to wonder if that's your brother/boyfriend/gay best friend/husband? Surely you must have a better pic of yourself out there.

 

-Girls who tell you why they're going to pass on you. "Like, ermagehhd, just swipe left if *blah blah blah*" or "don't message me if *random nonsense*". How about telling me what you're looking for instead of starting off on a negative note?

 

-Girls with height requirements. At 5'8" I'm not the tallest guy out there but I'm not short either. If you're 5'2" then you really need to st*u about your little absurd height requirement. That's like me putting on my profile "fat chicks need not apply." This kind of thing just makes you come across as so shallow and annoying that I will pass on you immediately.

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And it never is... what's up with that?

 

They also post pics of them with their hot-looking, twenty-something daughters, and at first you go wow! until you realize she's the one hiding in the shadows in the back.

 

Do they actually think that the other person's attractiveness boosts theirs somehow? Attractive by association? The reality is that it draws a stark comparison and we say, uh, too bad and click away.

 

I've also noticed very blatantly girls that pose with an ugly girl. I guess thinking it will make them appear way more attractive. These things are so obvious though how do people not understand that?

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A 20s something girl who appreciates fancy restaurants and the finer things in life.

 

You're just getting started in life, and you're telling me you already have expensive tastes?

 

What's wrong with that? I would say I like expensive things but I would add a caveat, "when I can afford them". I also prefer spending more money on things that are worth it such as traveling and good quality clothes. I put money away but I spend some of it too. There's no point in not spending any money because what will happen then? I will be the richest person in the cemetery. :laugh:

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I've solved this riddle years ago.

 

In a group shot, it's always the ugly one!! :lmao:

 

It annoyed me when I saw this sort of comment on a man's profile: "If there are two women in your picture, I will assume you're the ugly one." Ugh. And, no, I didn't have pictures like that posted.

 

To the person who thought that "friends first" means someone is overly-prudish. Not so. They could just be inexperienced, or treading carefully for some reason.

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LookAtThisPOst

Or the ever popular, "Let's be honest, l know personality is great and all, but looks do matter and an attraction MUST be there for me, so if I don't respond, it means I wasn't attracted."

 

Also, an example of poetic justice...some of the women that had ignored me all these this time on these sites, of course STILL are on the sites...chubbed considerably. I noticed her face selfies are getting in closer and closer to hide the gain.

 

They used to look great but over a course of a couple of years, they look like they put on 20 or 30 lbs. They used to be cute, but sadly, they probably still think they are. So it's kind of a bullet dodged there. :laugh:

 

 

Oh, a recent one, in the "About me section, "I'm an open book, just ask away!" In her defense, she did have about 6 photos up.

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Or the ever popular, "Let's be honest, l know personality is great and all, but looks do matter and an attraction MUST be there for me, so if I don't respond, it means I wasn't attracted."

 

Also, an example of poetic justice...some of the women that had ignored me all these this time on these sites, of course STILL are on the sites...chubbed considerably. I noticed her face selfies are getting in closer and closer to hide the gain.

 

They used to look great but over a course of a couple of years, they look like they put on 20 or 30 lbs. They used to be cute, but sadly, they probably still think they are. So it's kind of a bullet dodged there. :laugh:

 

 

Oh, a recent one, in the "About me section, "I'm an open book, just ask away!" In her defense, she did have about 6 photos up.

 

I see more of that in men's profiles. I just came back here to mention my biggest turn-off, and that was men who lied about their ages. One was ten years older than he admitted to being - he finally changed his profile to add his real age.

 

There's one man who sounds angry and snobbish in his profile. He's well-travelled, and has had a lot of odd jobs, so he's also always on the move, but there's nothing wrong there if he meets a woman who wouldn't mind moving with him (unless he stayed with her). He has been lying about his age since he turned 40, though - he would now be turning 42, but he claims to be 33, and is looking for women as young as 22.

 

A man listing themselves as "anti-consumer" has usually meant that they love their little gadgets and play-stations, but they will let you know that they don't like to buy things and they don't want to DO anything. I don't recall ever having been to an expensive place to eat (unless you count the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, where everything is overpriced, because: tourists), but whenever I see a reference to "anti-consumer" I picture someone cringing as I walk through a grocery store, and put things in my cart that aren't 75% off, or a generic brand of the real thing that actually works.

 

Also: those women you mentioned, aren't the only ones aging, and still on a dating site.

 

Going back to what Imajerk mentioned: I think I received four proper messages, from men who had read my profile. One was in Canada, and I was trying to stick to someone right here. I really wanted to meet someone five-six years ago. I actually (stupidly) had hope that I could meet someone, but then my life blew up, of course, and I didn't. I wasn't someone I would want to date, as things grew worse, and I was feeling more pessimistic about life, so I didn't bother.

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LookAtThisPOst
I see a reference to "anti-consumer

 

Never heard this word said in context. Is that the same thing as being a minimalist?

 

Anyhow, I'm guessing since I don't see the words "anti-consumer" in women's profiles, I guess it's a guy thing?

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A man listing themselves as "anti-consumer" has usually meant that they love their little gadgets and play-stations, but they will let you know that they don't like to buy things and they don't want to DO anything. I don't recall ever having been to an expensive place to eat (unless you count the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, where everything is overpriced, because: tourists), but whenever I see a reference to "anti-consumer" I picture someone cringing as I walk through a grocery store, and put things in my cart that aren't 75% off, or a generic brand of the real thing that actually works.

 

This is an interesting one...

 

I'm possibly "anti-consumer" (whatever, exactly that means) and an definitely minimalist.

 

There are a lot of people who over consume and maybe that's what they are trying to weed out?

 

You'd be surprised how many women out there consider shopping to be a hobby. Not reading, not gardening, not even fashion, just shopping (aka wasting money because they are bored/unhappy).

 

Maybe that guy is trying to avoid those types?

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Ultimate turn offs:

 

1) I look younger than my age (like 'I'm 39 but look in my 20s' - c'mon, please, be realistic people)

 

2) I work hard and play hard / I'm fun-loving / I life my life to the fullest (cliches, plus sharing information about immaturity)

 

3) Favorite activities: going to the bar with friends (or anything else that suggests the person is a potential alcoholic)

 

4) Very pretentious list of favorite books/songs etc (screaming that they just wrote it to appear "classy", it is sooo easy to distinguish when this is the reason)

 

5) Very short profile (you have nothing to say?)

 

6) Visibly written by someone else profile (it's a joke, c'mon don't let your sister write your profile)

 

7) overly humorous profile (no actual information)

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Ultimate turn offs:... 7) overly humorous profile (no actual information)

 

That's an interesting point actually. I used to add quite a lot of humour to my profile (always referring to information about me, I don't mean knock, knock jokes) but I never seemed to do any better than if I had just written a serious piece.

 

Women frequently ask for humour, but, and this is to the women on here, does it turn you off if there are too many witty lines in the profile?

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Some humor, especially self-sarcasm and witty lines, spice up the profile, but when it exceeds a certain threshold it gives some vibes that 1) the guy is not confident but is trying to mask it (with excessive humor) 2) the guy is not looking for anything serious (and that's why is not saying his real wants in the profile). I'm also curious what the other women here think.

 

That's an interesting point actually. I used to add quite a lot of humour to my profile (always referring to information about me, I don't mean knock, knock jokes) but I never seemed to do any better than if I had just written a serious piece.

 

Women frequently ask for humour, but, and this is to the women on here, does it turn you off if there are too many witty lines in the profile?

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The unfortunate aspect about online dating sites that the sites are set up for us to fail. We all clearly understand what the pitfalls are in terms of online dating photos and online dating profiles.

*If online dating sites really wanted us to be successful they could simply do mandatory minimums.

Each profile MUST have a face shot and a full body shot at a minimum.

*Each profile has to have at least one coherent semi intelligent paragraph describing who you are and what you're looking for. Technology can help eliminate people posting pictures that are decades old I see them all the time.

 

And finally people just need to be brutally honest with themselves. I see some pictures of women who clearly have absolutely no business posting a picture on an online dating site dressed and looking like they live in a third world country.

 

I know women think that a lot of guys have a double standard because they encounter mens profiles that have many of the same issues but the thing is ladies were chasing you. If a guy has a beer belly, is holding up a fish, is groping some lady in one of his profile photos, has a shirtless bathroom selfie, you chalk that up to just men being extraordinarily stupid. But ladies frankly should have a higher standard were chasing you and if you're presenting yourself in the best possible light frankly that helps both of us. I'm sorry but to see so many ladies on so many sites presenting themselves in such a ridiculous manner is not on online dating issue its a societal issue.

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Another frequent online dating annoyance I have found, particularly on OkCupid are people whom put their location as wherever you are living but when you read their profile they reveal that they are actually living somewhere else, usually 1000's of miles away. Typically they say they want or are planning to move to where you live.

 

I suspect many are doing this as they know that putting down their location as somewhere else where the site has a large user base will get more them a lot more attention then if they put down their actual location.

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Another frequent online dating annoyance I have found, particularly on OkCupid are people whom put their location as wherever you are living but when you read their profile they reveal that they are actually living somewhere else, usually 1000's of miles away. Typically they say they want or are planning to move to where you live.

 

I suspect many are doing this as they know that putting down their location as somewhere else where the site has a large user base will get more them a lot more attention then if they put down their actual location.

 

I do this, only because my location can be pin pointed and I will only disclose where I live if I feel comfortable that the guy isn't a stalker.

 

I use the nearest city as my location as it's 30 minutes away. All first meets take place in that city and until I am seriously considering taking things further, a prospect from OLD will never know where I live.

 

I do it for my own security reasons and I know other people use OLD where I live and not one of them discloses where they live either because it's so small.

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Agreed 100%, same for men who use these.

 

Women who use the following headlines on their profile:

 

"Looking for a partner in crime"

"Live, laugh, love"

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Profile pictures of:

 

1) shirtless in bathroom, bedroom..wherever. Even worse when the top two buttons of his jeans are undone. Yick.

 

2) landscape photos - who cares and am I supposed to figure out where in the world this pic was taken?

 

3) full mugs of beer on a table...with profile man nowhere in the photo

 

4) motorcycles, cars, trucks, snowmobiles, RV's, boats...again, profile man not included in these pictures.

 

5) my all time favourite - pictures of profile man with his freshly killed game. Ugh. Really??

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Right up there with the shirtless pic or a greased up dude with sunglasses... Often accompanied by 'young at heart'.

 

(shaking head)

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War & piece length rambles about if you are a player, spend all your time on okcupid, want women 10yrs younger, don't expect sex on the first date, we arn't all 18 and not perfect bodies, doesn't need a gym ratt.

 

It screams of insecurity.

Especially if they are a very pretty girl.

 

It tells me she has a history of getting with the wrong types of men & may lose interest in me real fast if we do end up meeting.

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I'm not single, found my current love in Tinder. While I was swiping, there were several things I've noticed that made me swipe left immediately.

 

1. Pictures of them holding an alcoholic beverage, be it beer, wine or booze.

2. Hunting pictures or, as someone mentioned, posing with drugged animals, riding elephants etc. The vegan in me screamed each time

3. Listing "food and drinks" as one of their hobbies. Come on, we all eat and drink. Unless you're actively trying out different restaurants and recepts (and I doubt it, since every 4th guys had it listed), it's not a hobby!

4. Pictures together with an attractive girl. Like, ok, is it an example of how I should look or is it supposed to show that you are liked by females? Like why would I be interested in a pic of you holding your good looking friend?

5. Shirtless pics are sometimes ok, like pics from athletic activities and stuff, but noooooot if it's just the picture of the body in the bathroom mirror(most of the time dirty with white splotches, brr).

6. 30+ guys looking for a hook up. OMG grow up. How long can you be just ****ing around and playing games? Grown ass men who just want easy sex are gross.

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I'm not single, found my current love in Tinder. While I was swiping, there were several things I've noticed that made me swipe left immediately.

 

1. Pictures of them holding an alcoholic beverage, be it beer, wine or booze.

2. Hunting pictures or, as someone mentioned, posing with drugged animals, riding elephants etc. The vegan in me screamed each time

3. Listing "food and drinks" as one of their hobbies. Come on, we all eat and drink. Unless you're actively trying out different restaurants and recepts (and I doubt it, since every 4th guys had it listed), it's not a hobby!

4. Pictures together with an attractive girl. Like, ok, is it an example of how I should look or is it supposed to show that you are liked by females? Like why would I be interested in a pic of you holding your good looking friend?

5. Shirtless pics are sometimes ok, like pics from athletic activities and stuff, but noooooot if it's just the picture of the body in the bathroom mirror(most of the time dirty with white splotches, brr).

6. 30+ guys looking for a hook up. OMG grow up. How long can you be just ****ing around and playing games? Grown ass men who just want easy sex are gross.

 

 

I'm surprised at how similar men's and women's profiles are. They all make the same mistakes that we all find turn offs. How did the human race get this far?!

 

Gah! I can't stand seeing women with a drink in their hand, especially if it's one of those 'hilarious' extra large ones meant for four people.

 

And no, food isn't a hobby unless you're a master cake decorator!

 

I think women could get away with more shirtless pics though... :laugh:

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  • Wtng in txt spk

 

Completely off topic but I just read that as wanking in text speak, my brain is now mush trying to figure out how you would actually achieve that...

 

:o

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