Why I'm DONE with online dating...

[edgygirl]

WTF OP? Are you an idiot or just an anti-semite racist?

 

I am Jewish and profoundly offended by your statement. I hope you remain single and never reproduce. Not sure why I bothered trying to help you above.

 

Sure, a 13 yo "crap situation" of being discriminated because of her background is her own making. I hope you get banned.

 

Totally agree. Anne Frank needed to look inward and realize her crap situation was of her own making. What a whiner.

 

 

This has to be the single most unaware, self-pitying statement I have ever read on LS. And that is saying a lot.

 

A 38-year-old fully grown male who cannot connect with women because of his own doing is NOT comparable to a 14-year-old girl about to be a victim of the Holocaust just for being of a certain ethnicity.

[edgygirl]

There's sarcasm and there's racism. You seem to be in the later category.

 

No wonder no woman connects with you.

 

Obvious sarcasm was obvious.

[impatiently_patient]

This has to be the single most unaware, self-pitying statement I have ever read on LS. And that is saying a lot.

 

A 38-year-old fully grown male who cannot connect with women because of his own doing is NOT comparable to a 14-year-old girl about to be a victim of the Holocaust just for being of a certain ethnicity.

 

What do you care? You're a jerk. If you're going to misconstrue the point it was trying to make as such, I'd think you'd be on board.

[impatiently_patient]

Then it is just a terrible taste in humor, based on a wish to needle and offend?? How charming....

 

1. Humor is subjective. Maybe you just have a ****ty sense of humor.

 

2. It was really more of a hyperbole to make a point that people are not always in control of the externa.

 

3. My grandmother was a Nazi war prisoner. Her internal qualities didn't help her situation either. Her cooking did, though.

[StBreton]

Totally agree. Anne Frank needed to look inward and realize her crap situation was of her own making. What a whiner.

 

Your analogy made me sad. I don't think you realize the injury of your words.

 

You cut off your nose to spite your face OP.

 

You may not realize how bitter and angry you come off to women ... women don't like that ... unless they are angry and bitter themselves. There is a girl in my son's freshman class ... the kids call her "the princess of darkness" because everything that comes out of her mouth is negative "the sky is black" "the future is black" those are over-exaggerated statements for effect but you get the picture. You are like the prince of darkness.

 

FYI ... your retort to the message exchange recounted in your original post would have totally turned me off. I would have understood philosophically what you were alluding to but been turned off by your negativity.

 

Must you push your agenda so? Are you ever just plain pleasant in your exchanges with women? You are the sole creator of your "crap situation." Anne Frank a victim of hers.

 

Now you're name calling and attempting to shame people's sense of humor? Oy vey

Edited November 23, 2015 by StBreton

[LurkerXX]

When people are telling you for pages that you did have some control over the situation, ie that rather dispiriting response to someone you actually thought was interesting......the hyperbole falls flat, especially edgy hyperbole involving murder victims. Perhaps, if you were close enough with your nana, she would have appreciated dark humor. But if there wasn't that sort of relationship between you, she would have wanted to **** you up for saying such a thing.

[Rejected Rosebud]

OK So you honestly believe that all your troubles with dating and women NOT LIKING YOU are because everybody sucks?? Nothing that you contribute to at all? Nothing you can do from your end at all?? There are alot of girls and women contributing to your threads. I think I can speak for almost all if not ALL of us when I say that you don't come off as likable. Sorry. :( But you don't. Even if every girl on every online dating site is a loser on a quad like you seem to think they'd still have to LIKE a guy to go out with him.

[impatiently_patient]

OK So you honestly believe that all your troubles with dating and women NOT LIKING YOU are because everybody sucks?? Nothing that you contribute to at all? Nothing you can do from your end at all?? There are alot of girls and women contributing to your threads. I think I can speak for almost all if not ALL of us when I say that you don't come off as likable. Sorry. :( But you don't. Even if every girl on every online dating site is a loser on a quad like you seem to think they'd still have to LIKE a guy to go out with him.

 

I'm pretty convinced that you guys just like to argue, so I'm just playing along at this point. I quit the online thing, and I've already stated my case. I've got three friends who wanted a piece of my time tonight and I'm about to meet the third for dinner and drinks. If I'm so unlikeable, then why do people like me? Besides, there's a whole part of the world of women who love insensitive arseholes if I really was one.

 

The thread is yours to let die. My guess is you like the drama and virtual high-fives more than the truth... or just walking away altogether.

Edited November 23, 2015 by impatiently_patient

[ZA Dater]

Poor humour aside I do largely agree with the OP in terms of OLD, its incredibly flawed in the extreme. Any good qualities one has are immediately rendered redundant by a picture.

 

What OLD is totally destroy ones self esteem and self confidence. Its easy to land up bitter if one spends enough time on OLD sites, why because for the most part at least 75% of females on such sites carry enough baggage to fill a 747, if they themselves had success then they would not be on the site and then one needs to ask why people resort to something as fundamentally unnatural as OLD to begin with.

 

All questions but very few tangible answers.

[Tolstoy]

WELL SAID IMPATIENTPATIENT ! Nothing you said initially with your first link warranted such an asinine and ill mannered response.

Edited November 23, 2015 by Tolstoy

[guest569]

I don't know what's with your homies at work. Yikes. Are feminine hygiene products coming coated with anti-libido serum and lithium or what? Love is no longer in the proverbial air... no wonder I can't get a date.

 

are you serious? ? What a disgusting thing to say.

 

Good luck

[guest569]

Basically you shot yourself in the foot with those statements in the OP. Simple as that.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Poor humour aside I do largely agree with the OP in terms of OLD, its incredibly flawed in the extreme. Any good qualities one has are immediately rendered redundant by a picture.

 

Right, it's so easy to dismiss someone via a picture, height stats, etc. What's funny is, some of these people aren't much to look at themselves and are not aware of where they stand when it comes to their own appearance.

 

Although, the only time I've ever gotten responses or even dates with women online, is if they are new to the site. So it's a "strike while the iron is hot" moment.

 

A lot of them don't take it seriously, and are just browsing out of complete problem. Had a real life female friend admit to this. lol. So some aren't even taking it to meeting in real life.

 

The ones that have been there for a long time, will remain there for a long time.

[Heatherknows]

Right, it's so easy to dismiss someone via a picture, height stats, etc. What's funny is, some of these people aren't much to look at themselves and are not aware of where they stand when it comes to their own appearance.

 

Although, the only time I've ever gotten responses or even dates with women online, is if they are new to the site. So it's a "strike while the iron is hot" moment.

 

A lot of them don't take it seriously, and are just browsing out of complete problem. Had a real life female friend admit to this. lol. So some aren't even taking it to meeting in real life.

 

The ones that have been there for a long time, will remain there for a long time.

 

When my marriage was doing bad last year I wanted to know how the online dating world would perceive me. I thru up one picture and wrote a short bio. I got some responses but I couldn't open the emails because it was just a free account on Match which means I couldn't respond to anyone. After about an hour I saw I got lots of responses and felt good.

 

Then I got scared and guilty and ripped my picture down, deleted the account and prayed nobody I knew saw what I did.

 

If I did this I'm sure others do too. Remember online will never be the same as real life.

Edited November 23, 2015 by Heatherknows

[LookAtThisPOst]

After about an hour I saw I got lots of responses and felt good.

 

Then I got scared and guilty and ripped my picture down, deleted the account and prayed nobody I knew saw what I did.

 

If I did this I'm sure others do too. Remember online will never be the same as real life.

 

Right, I bet there's a HIGH percentage of people who are probably "on the outs" with an ex, recent break-ups, etc. that throw up an online profile as a coping mechanism and nothing more.

 

It's seen as a sanctuary by some and nothing more.

 

The first woman I dated from online was actually reeling from a break-up. She was dumped.

 

I had no idea she was rebounding from it, because she rarely talked about him. She just told me how they broke up, and that was it.

 

Made no mention of her being emotionally impacted by it. PLUS, she didn't like the idea of online dating...and back in the early 2000s, it was considered a stigma if you did it.

 

Then I got scared and guilty and ripped my picture down, deleted the account and prayed nobody I knew saw what I did.

 

Yep!

 

She didn't even want her family knowing how her and I met. lol

[Heatherknows]

Right, I bet there's a HIGH percentage of people who are probably "on the outs" with an ex, recent break-ups, etc. that throw up an online profile as a coping mechanism and nothing more.

 

It's seen as a sanctuary by some and nothing more.

 

The first woman I dated from online was actually reeling from a break-up. She was dumped.

 

I had no idea she was rebounding from it, because she rarely talked about him. She just told me how they broke up, and that was it.

 

Made no mention of her being emotionally impacted by it. PLUS, she didn't like the idea of online dating...and back in the early 2000s, it was considered a stigma if you did it.

 

 

 

Yep!

 

She didn't even want her family knowing how her and I met. lol

 

LOL!

 

That is why when you do OLD or write stuff on a forum and get advice/criticism etc. you need to keep it in perspective. There is an element of fantasy in all things online which is why it can be addictive.

 

When I posted my picture I posted one where I had my hair blown out and was wearing makeup. I don't walk around the house with makeup on. And I wrote some nice stuff about myself, I didn't say "Sometimes I get anxious and depressed especially around my period where I can be a real nightmare."

 

You CAN meet someone online but it's difficult.

[LookAtThisPOst]

 

You CAN meet someone online but it's difficult.

 

Right. On the other hand, I think some people have used it as a replacement for talking to others in real life situations. Some single people, at least women in my experience, have decided that they don't meet men in real life that they would want to date...even though that they have been asked out by these men, they simply weren't attracted/interested.

 

I recall a woman that was on a dating site that had given up on her local church singles ministry because the men there weren't all that attractive...to her...and granted she was a rather statuesque, attractive professional woman.

 

Even though she is active socially in real life, she's not meeting the men she likes and online dating offers more options, as opposed to the handful of men in the real world that asked her out.

 

So, some women do have their opportunities of meeting men in the real world, there's just isn't enough that cross their path that they are into.

[Heatherknows]

Right. On the other hand, I think some people have used it as a replacement for talking to others in real life situations. Some single people, at least women in my experience, have decided that they don't meet men in real life that they would want to date...even though that they have been asked out by these men, they simply weren't attracted/interested.

 

I recall a woman that was on a dating site that had given up on her local church singles ministry because the men there weren't all that attractive...to her...and granted she was a rather statuesque, attractive professional woman.

 

Even though she is active socially in real life, she's not meeting the men she likes and online dating offers more options, as opposed to the handful of men in the real world that asked her out.

 

So, some women do have their opportunities of meeting men in the real world, there's just isn't enough that cross their path that they are into.

 

I guess it's harder as you get older. I'm 47 now. The last time I was single I was 22 and I'd go to clubs. I met plenty of guys to date. If I was single now...I have no idea where I'd go.

 

That's not true.

 

I'd go to lots of spirituality and nutritional seminars, the gym, dog parks, outdoor cafe's, home depot/lowes....

 

Yeah.I'd be fine. LOL

Edited November 23, 2015 by Heatherknows

[bluefeather]

Totally agree. Anne Frank needed to look inward and realize her crap situation was of her own making. What a whiner.

 

Comparing your inability to meet women off a dating site to experience with The Holocaust.

 

Stay classy. (I bolded the sarcastic part so you could better understand what sarcasm really means. Hope it helps in your future pseudo-intellectual endeavors!)

[htmshsj]

Was having a rather nice conversation with a women (in my age bracket for once ) about life and music... she's also a musician who's played in a band for a while here in Phoenix, Arizona.

 

She asked about why I was talking to her, and I said, "Because everyone deserves a chance" always. I left her with a [true] anecdote about how a man had dropped his wallet at a restaurant that myself and my coworkers were dining at, and how I kindly returned it to him. He was kind of a dick about it, but I wished him the best anyways... and referenced her to this Kristoff Krane track that's inspired me so very much in recent years:

and then her replies (which were frequent) cut off completely.

 

If this is the mindset that turns women off... I'm done. Completely done. Love for others is dead. I guess I don't deserve love for myself, but I'll continue to dole it out. That's who I am until I die. F**k you haters. I just don't get you.

 

I haven't read everyone else's responses, but I'd be surprised if anyone hasn't already pointed out the obvious. She stopped talking to you because she (rightfully) realized that you're a clueless baffoon. You insulted her. It sounds like either you're really that daft OR you're trying some kind of goofy pick up artist "negging"... which means you're still really that daft.

 

Strong work.

[Toodaloo]

Reading this thread through and I think Imajerk needs a new name... I think I am about to become his greatest fan.

 

None of the struggling guys seem prepared to listen but that guy just "gets it"... I don't know why he is single (if he still is).

 

I have nothing to add that others haven't already said other than perhaps its time to open eyes and ears rather than mouth... then they may get better luck.

[Heatherknows]

Reading this thread through and I think Imajerk needs a new name... I think I am about to become his greatest fan.

 

None of the struggling guys seem prepared to listen but that guy just "gets it"... I don't know why he is single (if he still is).

 

I have nothing to add that others haven't already said other than perhaps its time to open eyes and ears rather than mouth... then they may get better luck.

 

Yep! Imajerk is now one of my favs.

 

Maybe the OP isn't so bad either. Perhaps he's become so jaded by life that his bitterness is overflowing. I've had those moments. They're uncomfortable.

[Protec]

I don't consider me as a bad looking man, but still i struggle to even get ONE date.

 

Again i got the most insane anwser from a woman I am starting to feel women on OLD sites are mentally insane or something. And woman complain men are rude. Well... the answer i got in tinder today really was weird.

 

I said "good morning :)" to this woman in Tinder i've been talking now for 2 days.

 

She replies "Good Morning X, you unemployed, living in a 2-room flat at Z-area (certain area of a city). Yikes, this combination... you remind me of my alcoholic brother!"

 

So, living in flats are now wrong. Dare to live in a flat and you shall never find love!

Being unemployed. DARE to be unemployed and you shall not deserve love EVER!

Living in certain area in a city. YOU SHALL NOT DESERVE TO BE LOVED YOU! MOVE OUT FROM THAT AREA IMMEADITELY!

 

I really. Really think some women are mentally insane. They have to be. No one in their right mind would not send anything like that.

 

She seemed to be this "wealthy" type of person. So she is so much better than me just because she works and makes more money than i do.

[impatiently_patient]

Poor humour aside I do largely agree with the OP in terms of OLD, its incredibly flawed in the extreme. Any good qualities one has are immediately rendered redundant by a picture.

 

It wasn't humor, it was an analogy... but you obviously the rest of the point. There's some things out out your control and no matter what you throw at it, and it's not changing.

 

 

 

 

What OLD is totally destroy ones self esteem and self confidence. Its easy to land up bitter if one spends enough time on OLD sites, why because for the most part at least 75% of females on such sites carry enough baggage to fill a 747, if they themselves had success then they would not be on the site and then one needs to ask why people resort to something as fundamentally unnatural as OLD to begin with.

 

Well, the jury's still out on whether what I see online dating as representative of women online dating, or just representative of people altogether. I used to meet and know so many nice people. Not so much anymore. Maybe the world's just gone all vacuus and mean sprited. This judgemental place ain't swaying me to any rosy thoughts either.

 

 

 

 

All questions but very few tangible answers.

 

Indeed. The know-it-alls are generally know nothings that flap that lip, and who cower at the term empirical. Flap away... flap away.

[impatiently_patient]

Basically you shot yourself in the foot with those statements in the OP. Simple as that.

 

More like dodged a bullet. She passed/failed (however you want to look at it) the litmus test as far as I'm concerned. Like the girl on Tinder who asked me how tall I was and I replied, "Not tall enough for girls who care how tall men are."