Why I'm DONE with online dating...

[Redfisher]

Why I am tired of online dating? Women do not SPEAK.

 

I mean it's 1 out of 20 women who can actually have "intelligent" conversation.

 

I was talking with a woman, we talk about this and that. Then we came to the subject "travelling".

 

OH. MY. GOD. (yes, just like that woman in Friends...)

 

We were talking about what places would be nice to visit etc. I told my dream is to eat real New York hot dog one day and go to japan etc.

 

Then she asked "what places have you visited?"

 

"None. I've never been outside finland Weird huh?"

 

After that. Silent. She vanished She even contacted ME first. But i guess it's such a big crime not been abroad once. Sorry. I don't travel alone and when i have money, i don't have companion and vice versa.

 

I really am starting to feel women in OLD sites are crazy and WAY too picky...

 

Who the f*** cares if you have been abroad or not? Why can't i listen different type of music than you? What if i play videogames. I don't complain about reading books. JESUS.

 

I give up. I rather watch porn every night than date these picky ass women.

 

4 months in several OLD dating sites. Not a single DATE. I met one women 2 times, we went outside for walks, not a date. Then this one woman i met for 30 minutes (not a date), i told her it's not going to work out (she was this "I am always so busy!!!!"-type woman.)

 

I don't think myself as a bad looking man at all, i am kinda fun, i do sports, i am a music producer, i have good sense of humour, i am open minded etc.

 

I actually feel LESS alone when i am just sitting in front of TV than spending time in OLD sites.

I've never felt so lonely in my life.

 

BUT maybe...just as a maybe, i am not even supposed to find anyone yet.

 

I really miss my ex so i am not even trying to find anything serious now. I just want to see different kind of people, just spend time etc. go to a movies, you know. Just to see what kind of different people there are.

 

Have you tried growing a beard? Chicks really dig them lately.....

[bluefeather]

Have you tried growing a beard? Chicks really dig them lately.....

 

I think it's only a thing for certain women. But the women that do like'em, yup they're all about it! Is beard size like boob size? Hahaha

[clia]

Then she asked "what places have you visited?"

 

"None. I've never been outside finland Weird huh?"

After that. Silent. She vanished She even contacted ME first. But i guess it's such a big crime not been abroad once. Sorry. I don't travel alone and when i have money, i don't have companion and vice versa.

 

If it's no big deal, why did you tell her how weird it was? You answered the question in a negative way when it was totally unnecessary. You could've just answered "Nowhere outside of Finland yet, but I've got big plans for the future" or something positive. Instead you told her you were a weirdo.

 

Or she was talking to another guy who had travelled a lot already and she thought he was more up her alley.

[WonderKid]

Hey it happens. A while ago I was on POF with my profile still active. I managed to talk with a woman. I caught her off guard with some kind of witty message I sent. She's a looker, young, and a single mom of one. I got her to reply back, we joked around about her short profile.

Talked more. Next couple days I hear nothing else from her. That day was the only day. Could she have gotten busy? Found someone else? Or the spark I gave her ran out?

I'll never know because I don't care.

 

My suggestion is to just keep focusing on getting your blocks together furthering your career and stacking your money. As much energy and focus you put on getting a relationship, channel that energy to you and you'd get results because it is done for you and not someone else.

Just face it, you could think you are perfect but a woman could still find something wrong to justify passing you over. It's within their right.

Just live how you want to be.

[Redfisher]

I think it's only a thing for certain women. But the women that do like'em, yup they're all about it! Is beard size like boob size? Hahaha

 

Yep, Chicks like pulling on it when having sex....true story.

[Rejected Rosebud]

Why I am tired of online dating? Women do not SPEAK.

 

I mean it's 1 out of 20 women who can actually have "intelligent" conversation.

Ha! Nice attitude! I think it's a wise move for a guy who views women this way to opt out of online dating and dating altogether for that matter!!

 

Sorry, I have some compassion for you from the rest of your post, but that's a pretty sad and false sweeping generalization. :mad:

[MidwestUSA]

Ha! Nice attitude! I think it's a wise move for a guy who views women this way to opt out of online dating and dating altogether for that matter!!

 

Sorry, I have some compassion for you from the rest of your post, but that's a pretty sad and false sweeping generalization. :mad:

 

 

I think many of the misunderstandings that arise when 'talking' to someone could be avoided if people just met face to face as soon as possible. By 'talking', I'm assuming most today are referring to texting. There's no voice inflection, no way to explain yourself when something comes out of your mouth that can be taken offensively, or misinterpreted. No way to see the other person's reaction.

 

It's called a dating site, not a pen pal site!

[impatiently_patient]

I think many of the misunderstandings that arise when 'talking' to someone could be avoided if people just met face to face as soon as possible. By 'talking', I'm assuming most today are referring to texting. There's no voice inflection, no way to explain yourself when something comes out of your mouth that can be taken offensively, or misinterpreted. No way to see the other person's reaction.

 

It's called a dating site, not a pen pal site!

 

I'm with you. I'm sooooo not into PM'ing into oblivion on these things... It was even explicitly stated on my profile not to contact me or reply to me if you had no intent to meet sooner than later.

 

Online dating is just too chock full of retards with reading comprehension issues... make that the Internet... the Internet is chock full of retards with reading comprehension issues. Bad grammar I can deal with.

[jay1983]

Damn dude, she was looking for you to tell her she was cute and interesting. That sounds like one who would've actually met with you too.

 

Oh well, live and learn.

[alphamale]

Oh well, live and learn.

indeed jay1983, indeed

[Imajerk17]

I'm with you. I'm sooooo not into PM'ing into oblivion on these things... It was even explicitly stated on my profile not to contact me or reply to me if you had no intent to meet sooner than later.

 

Online dating is just too chock full of retards with reading comprehension issues... make that the Internet... the Internet is chock full of retards with reading comprehension issues. Bad grammar I can deal with.

 

Angry much? You seriously want to get that taken care of. Women (people actually) tend to be very reluctant to meet up w someone who exhibits this level of vitriol. Concern for their physical safety, ect.

 

This is what confuses me though, besides that. YOU were the one who was PM'ing as much as she was. Why didn't you just get to setting up the date for ASAP and leave it at that. Just as everyone else (male AND female) who hates PM'ing a lot before meeting does. If nothing else, it would have saved you a lot of time and energy. See, if she wasn't willing to go along with this plan to meet up with you sooner, then she clearly either isn't interested or doesn't get the concept of OLD. You could have written her off without a second thought, saving you the time you spent PM'ing her and the energy of wondering what if i.e., writing this thread.

 

This thread is chock full of lessons--from how to answer the woman's question more effectively, to not saying anything too "edgy" via electronic communications in general, to being more proactive about getting to the first meet ASAP so you aren't PM'ing in the first place. Hopefully you took some of them in OP.

Edited November 18, 2015 by Imajerk17

[bluefeather]

the Internet is chock full of retards with reading comprehension issues.

 

This coming from the person who said something that pretty much everyone on this thread agreed was foolish. You seem to have a decent vocabulary, but you might want to work on your delivery. You come off as incredibly bitter. And I hope you don't take that as an insult, because I am not trying to insult you. Bitterness is something I can relate to. I'm quite unsatisfied with the way the world is... But there's a point when it takes over one's perspective, and that can be dangerous because you might not even notice when it happens, just as it seems in this situation.

[LurkerXX]

Understand is that women are often given little sympathy for giving someone a chance and often blamed for when that faux-pas reveals itself as an early sign of an angry, arrogant, or self-absorbed man. Why didn't they date a 'nice guy?" Plus, personally, when a relationship heads that way, it results in personally being far more lonely than being alone. I do enjoy the intense personalities of Russian literature, but deplore the constantly Barazov type of person in reality, especially as a relationship prospect. One of the things I think you are missing is that truly intense conversations require a certain level of intimacy; otherwise, they end up being one-sided monologues that the confused respondent understandably questions the purpose of.

 

This is from an educated country-preference person living in a city so she can restart her career, in a related science field, after a financially (and emotionally) draining few years of caring for a terminally ill father. Many people have mundane parts of their lives that have been driven by need, circumstance, or a wish to honor and share time with loved ones; we are not able to have all of our preferences at once. This does not mean that we are not grateful for what we have, or are not working towards something else.

 

Even if I was dating right now, things like this would not be on an online dating profile. Much of it would not be appropriate early information to burden someone with. I try to show some unique personality, and some commonality. Anything else is something that needs to unfold authentically, with someone that I can engage in a back-and-forth conversation with.

Edited November 18, 2015 by LurkerXX

[bluefeather]

Yep, Chicks like pulling on it when having sex....true story.

 

lol same here. But mine was short so it hurt!

[MidwestUSA]

I'm with you. I'm sooooo not into PM'ing into oblivion on these things... It was even explicitly stated on my profile not to contact me or reply to me if you had no intent to meet sooner than later.

 

Online dating is just too chock full of retards with reading comprehension issues... make that the Internet... the Internet is chock full of retards with reading comprehension issues. Bad grammar I can deal with.

 

 

Unless your conversation (the topic of this thread) was by phone and not text, then I'd say you violated your own rule. You 'talked' her right into oblivion.

 

It's so easy to fade via text. You said she had been responding frequently. That's when you hit her up for a date. Don't take the chance of things getting awkward by continued texting. I have actually NEVER texted back and forth with anyone before meeting.

[impatiently_patient]

This coming from the person who said something that pretty much everyone on this thread agreed was foolish. You seem to have a decent vocabulary, but you might want to work on your delivery. You come off as incredibly bitter. And I hope you don't take that as an insult, because I am not trying to insult you. Bitterness is something I can relate to. I'm quite unsatisfied with the way the world is... But there's a point when it takes over one's perspective, and that can be dangerous because you might not even notice when it happens, just as it seems in this situation.

 

It's just online dating... hence I quit. You're all still talking about it. Carry on if you'd like.

[bluefeather]

It's just online dating... hence I quit. You're all still talking about it. Carry on if you'd like.

 

So it looks like this was a big deal to you but you're now trying to play this off as nothing. If you don't want to talk about it, no problem.

[scorpiogirl]

It's just online dating... hence I quit. You're all still talking about it. Carry on if you'd like.

 

So instead of admitting you were wrong, you choose to blame everyone else. Your shortcoming are so evident and if you really wanted help, you'd take the advice offered but you'll be back soon enough bashing the next normal woman you encounter because you're so "superior". ( hint: you're actually not)

[aprilisi]

I actually gasped in shock when I read your response to her. Poor girl. She most likely took it as an insult. I would have. And I never click links.

 

I'm always take it slow online...and offline. If I don't the following things tend to happen.

 

1. We flirt for a bit by text then he disappears

2. He gets too raunchy then gets mad when I tell him to cut it out. This includes racy talk and pics.

3. He lets the conversation go for too long without meeting. And if I suggest it he always has an excuse.

4. He gets upset if I don't message him back timely. For example I once left my phone at my cousin's house. In just a few hours it went from "good morning beautiful" to "uppity bitch"

 

Of course it can still happen. But I've been getting more dates. I guess some would call it playing games. But you get tired of the crap. And like the OP its tough to keep a positive attitude

[impatiently_patient]

I actually gasped in shock when I read your response to her. Poor girl. She most likely took it as an insult. I would have. And I never click links.

 

I'm always take it slow online...and offline. If I don't the following things tend to happen.

 

1. We flirt for a bit by text then he disappears

2. He gets too raunchy then gets mad when I tell him to cut it out. This includes racy talk and pics.

3. He lets the conversation go for too long without meeting. And if I suggest it he always has an excuse.

4. He gets upset if I don't message him back timely. For example I once left my phone at my cousin's house. In just a few hours it went from "good morning beautiful" to "uppity bitch"

 

Of course it can still happen. But I've been getting more dates. I guess some would call it playing games. But you get tired of the crap. And like the OP its tough to keep a positive attitude

 

Dude probably just wanted to smang, but is too much of a retard to spell it out on his profile. This, indeed, is why online blows goats.

 

I guess I'm just too old to have any patience for this B.S. People don't state their intent (or are just sketchy about it), and they don't bother to read what you clearly put as yours.

[Rejected Rosebud]

Actually quite a few people meet online and go on to have relationships ... even get married!! And, no, not only stupid boring people.

[GemmaUK]

OP, you sound so angry.

 

I think you are making the right choice by quitting OLD,

 

Good luck with IRL!

Go with what works for you! )

[impatiently_patient]

Actually quite a few people meet online and go on to have relationships ... even get married!! And, no, not only stupid boring people.

 

Well, OK Cupid broke down the numbers some time ago (the post was subsequently pulled from the blog when IAC bought them) the the success rate wasn't very promising... at all.

 

If you read dating site claims, much like you, they always state, "so-and-so many relationships start online " but NEVER word it as on online dating sites. Yay marketing. Other online places, like World of Warcraft have notably higher romance success rates than OLD. I wouldn't be surprised that more people meet through Facebook than Match.com.

 

Personally, I did better back on MySpace than on modern dating-focused sites like Plenty of Fish or Tinder. ****, I never got a single date off Tinder. I don't get the hype.

[GemmaUK]

Well, OK Cupid broke down the numbers some time ago (the post was subsequently pulled from the blog when IAC bought them) the the success rate wasn't very promising... at all.

 

If you read dating site claims, much like you, they always state, "so-and-so many relationships start online " but NEVER word it as on online dating sites. Yay marketing. Other online places, like World of Warcraft have notably higher romance success rates than OLD. I wouldn't be surprised that more people meet through Facebook than Match.com.

 

Personally, I did better back on MySpace than on modern dating-focused sites like Plenty of Fish or Tinder. ****, I never got a single date off Tinder. I don't get the hype.

 

 

So go back to Myspace. Or WOW or similar:)

I did think that MyS was long gone over 10 years ago but if it still is going and works why change it? Go with what works for you.

[Rejected Rosebud]

Personally, I did better back on MySpace than on modern dating-focused sites like Plenty of Fish or Tinder. ****, I never got a single date off Tinder. I don't get the hype.

 

Any chance you might sometime take a look at yourself? I mean in relationship to your lack of success with getting dates or interest from women? If you come off with the anger and superiority you show us around here I am not surprised that they are moving on ... sorry but maybe you can work on yourself a little bit??