bluefeather Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 I really hope my son isn't masking his feelings now he seems better but I am honestly unsure. I would imagine that he will have good days and bad days. It is still very early in the mourning process. He still probably has a lot more emotions to go through. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mom22Boys Posted December 17, 2015 Author Share Posted December 17, 2015 Just bracing myself for Christmas and that will probably be a very bad day. It has honestly been loads better then it was before. I still worry going to sleep and if I will wake up to my son still being alive when I wake up. He is still seeing his therapist twice a week and I think that has been helping him more then he would like to admit. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 I'm sure that he never thought he could be helped. That's why he felt so hopeless, thinking he'd never get past it. It does seem that he's on the mend but, yeah, if I were you I would still worry about his life. It'll be good when all the holidays are over with; they're wrought with emotions for family and loved ones. Then hopefully your son will start getting back to his life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mom22Boys Posted December 17, 2015 Author Share Posted December 17, 2015 I just wish I could get him to eat, keeps losing weight and it worries me. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 I just wish I could get him to eat, keeps losing weight and it worries me. That's understandable. I'm not sure that there's anything you can do about that right now. Maybe just buy or make his favorite things. That may have an effect. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mom22Boys Posted December 18, 2015 Author Share Posted December 18, 2015 He wants to go see the star wars movie with this girl he met. Worries me he is gonna start falling back into the rut he was before I had to admit him and all. Link to post Share on other sites
anna121 Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 He wants to go see the star wars movie with this girl he met. Worries me he is gonna start falling back into the rut he was before I had to admit him and all. I don't understand - why would going to the movies with a girl cause him to fall back into a rut? It seems like good news... He is very, very young. If he gets distracted by something, so much the better. Don't you think? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 I agree. This sounds positive. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mom22Boys Posted December 19, 2015 Author Share Posted December 19, 2015 Worried he will start sleeping around to try and erase the pain. But he went and he seemed to have fun. The Girls parents called and asked if we could bring him over to there house on Christmas, They said they got him something but wouldn't tell us what. Not sure how he is even going to be feeling/acting on Christmas. Link to post Share on other sites
Qboro90 Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Worried he will start sleeping around to try and erase the pain. But he went and he seemed to have fun. The Girls parents called and asked if we could bring him over to there house on Christmas, They said they got him something but wouldn't tell us what. Not sure how he is even going to be feeling/acting on Christmas. What would give you the impression that's his intention though? I think you said he and his past gf dated for years so he's never been the type to sleep around....Seems like a drastic turn around to be honest. Went from solitude and unable to cope with his girlfriends death to going out with other girls and attending holiday dinners at her house? Do you know the girl and her parents? What's your son doing on a day to day basis? Haven't gotten many details from your last few replies Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 I'm happy to hear he's going out and socializing again. Honestly I wouldn't even care if he slept around. At least he's not trying to end his life. It has been several months now and he has been in deep mourning. It seems to me that the clouds are finally shifting. Link to post Share on other sites
anna121 Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 I'm happy to hear he's going out and socializing again. Honestly I wouldn't even care if he slept around. At least he's not trying to end his life. It has been several months now and he has been in deep mourning. It seems to me that the clouds are finally shifting. I agree. He's an older teenager and will make decisions that you won't approve of. I mean, he and his girlfriend were sexually active and she got pregnant. Stuff like that is completely out of your control. I think you best bet is to be positive and encouraging, while giving him space to do things that take him out of his own head. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mom22Boys Posted December 19, 2015 Author Share Posted December 19, 2015 The girl's parents as in his girlfriend that died parents. Sorry that wasn't clear. Day to day he sleeps a lot eats maybe once a day and plays some video games. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 The girl's parents as in his girlfriend that died parents. Sorry that wasn't clear. Day to day he sleeps a lot eats maybe once a day and plays some video games. I understood what you meant. It will probably be really hard for your son to see them, but it will probably be very therapeutic, also. He is a link to their daughter. Seeing them needs to be his decision, as I'm sure you already know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mom22Boys Posted December 20, 2015 Author Share Posted December 20, 2015 Yeah, I told him and he said he would think on it said he didn't know how he was going to be feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Yeah, I told him and he said he would think on it said he didn't know how he was going to be feeling. That sounds very clear-headed of him to say. That plus going out the other day... seems positive. As for sleeping around, well, I understand the concern there. Still, socializing by going to see a movie with someone can be a good thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mom22Boys Posted December 21, 2015 Author Share Posted December 21, 2015 Today has been a bad day crying off and on and won't leave his room. It just started out of nowhere was talking to him about Christmas and how a bunch of family and friends are coming over. And he just lost it and started crying. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Today has been a bad day crying off and on and won't leave his room. It just started out of nowhere was talking to him about Christmas and how a bunch of family and friends are coming over. And he just lost it and started crying. Tears are cathartic. Let them flow. Better he should let the grief & pain out then try to "be a man" and hold it all in. Hang in there. You are doing all the right things & while it's little consolation, we here at LS are here for you. {{{{hugs}}} Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Today has been a bad day crying off and on and won't leave his room. It just started out of nowhere was talking to him about Christmas and how a bunch of family and friends are coming over. And he just lost it and started crying. Doesn't surprise me at all. This will most likely happen for a long time. Good days and bad days, but he has to mourn. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mom22Boys Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 Yeah i know he will have good and bad days just don't like them at all. And wish I could fix it somehow. I just hope he does go and see the girls parents I think it would be good for all them. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Today has been a bad day crying off and on and won't leave his room. It just started out of nowhere was talking to him about Christmas and how a bunch of family and friends are coming over. And he just lost it and started crying. His grieving process will take a while, it'll hit him out of no where too, and with Christmas this week I'm sure he's thinking of his gf and hurting deeply. Just let him know you love him and that wish you could take away his pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mom22Boys Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 Wish I could do more but alas this is a journey he must take on his own. Today was better seemed peppy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 Wish I could do more but alas this is a journey he must take on his own. Today was better seemed peppy. I'm sure it must be really hard to see him going through this. If only we could take away their pain, huh? I'm encouraged to hear that he's at least having some up moments. It'll be good for him when the holidays are over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mom22Boys Posted December 23, 2015 Author Share Posted December 23, 2015 He keeps talking to this girl from the movies. I am worried because she looks older. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 He keeps talking to this girl from the movies. I am worried because she looks older. It's not a bad problem to trade for, though. It sounds like he may be coming around and on the road to recovery. That would be a wonderful Christmas gift. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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