Author Mom22Boys Posted December 23, 2015 Author Share Posted December 23, 2015 On another note we are having a bunch of family over on Christmas and family coming from Texas and he has been great helping me get the house and some of the spare bedrooms ready. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mom22Boys Posted December 23, 2015 Author Share Posted December 23, 2015 It's not a bad problem to trade for, though. It sounds like he may be coming around and on the road to recovery. That would be a wonderful Christmas gift. Older women is not who he would be with and an older women shouldn't be involved with my kid in any way. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted December 23, 2015 Share Posted December 23, 2015 Older women is not who he would be with and an older women shouldn't be involved with my kid in any way. Well, that part is for you all to work out, but I think some comfort could be found in the fact that he's engaging with people and being social, right? I mean, at a minimum, wouldn't you rather have this problem than the problem you've had? All I'm saying is that there seems to be something to be grateful for, even if this still doesn't measure up to your ideals. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 I think it depends on how much older you're talking about. Anyway, I'd still rather have that problem than the other. The truth is, it's probably hard for him to relate to people his age now because I'm sure the accident changed his level of maturity. I'm really glad he's getting involved with the holidays. That is really encouraging. Merry Christmas! I hope all of you can put your cares behind you for awhile and enjoy your family. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mom22Boys Posted December 24, 2015 Author Share Posted December 24, 2015 So Son decides he wants to go to her parents house today I call and clear it and we head over. And we pull up and a new mustang is sitting there with a big red bow and they say it's the least they could do and I am speechless and son just breaks down sobbing. I honestly can't believe what happened. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 Wow, that's seem overly generous, doesn't it? But nice they're thinking of him. I guess that means they have plenty of money and aren't struggling. Maybe this makes them feel better some way. I wouldn't worry about the older woman too much unless she's over 30 or they met online. It's true that his little friends his age will not have the capacity to understand at all what he's going through. I know two girls who were griefstricken over loss of sister/loss of best friend found me during their time and I was probably 10 years older. I am still best friends with one of them 40 years later. It ages you. You look for someone who can connect with it a little. Most young people have not been so unfortunate to suffer any loss yet. Certainly you'll have to make sure it's not an online dating mess or someone trying to take advantage while he's vulnerable. I realize you already have enough on your plate, but one more year, and it will all be out of your control anyway. It's a great sign he is even talking to you about her. Link to post Share on other sites
anna121 Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 Older women is not who he would be with and an older women shouldn't be involved with my kid in any way. I foresee a lot of really ugly conflict with your son if you continue with this attitude. Honestly, you should be grateful he is returning to a semblance of normalcy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 So Son decides he wants to go to her parents house today I call and clear it and we head over. And we pull up and a new mustang is sitting there with a big red bow and they say it's the least they could do and I am speechless and son just breaks down sobbing. I honestly can't believe what happened. Mom this is very difficult to believe. It is hard to imagine parents having lost a child only a month ago doing this. I hope your son is well and that your family has a peaceful holiday. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mom22Boys Posted December 25, 2015 Author Share Posted December 25, 2015 I am sorry you feel that way but it is the truth. They said they wanted to help in some way shape or form and felt this was there best way. And it also made them feel happy for a bit to help out. I hope everyone is having a Merry Christmas. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 I think that was wonderful of them to do. It shows that they don't blame him in any way and that they are concerned for his well-being. I can see how they would do something like this. As far as when the accident happened - maybe my timeline is off - but I thought that it happened about four or five months ago. I'm pretty sure it wasn't just a month ago. Mom, I hope you and your son had a good Xmas. Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Mmmk......6 months, 2 yrs., even 5. It is difficult to believe that it would even occur to the girl's parents to buy Mom's son a new car. It is a highly unusual behavior for grieving parents who's daughter recently died in a car accident of which Mom's son was the driver. That does not make it not true but may exemplify that some distance from her family during this healing time may be required. The important thing is that your son continue to improve OP. It sounds like you are all making progress. Merry Christmas and New Year. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Mmmk......6 months, 2 yrs., even 5. It is difficult to believe that it would even occur to the girl's parents to buy Mom's son a new car. It is a highly unusual behavior for grieving parents who's daughter recently died in a car accident of which Mom's son was the driver. That does not make it not true but may exemplify that some distance from her family during this healing time may be required. The important thing is that your son continue to improve OP. It sounds like you are all making progress. Merry Christmas and New Year. This is most likely their way of dealing with the loss of their daughter. If their daughter was with him for awhile, then they probably became very close to him during that time. In their minds, he is probably like a son to them. So, their loss is exaggerated by losing him, in a sense. I'm still loosely close to my son's ex gf and her family. I still love them and miss them. His ex gf just graduated from college recently and sent me a note saying how much I meant in her life. I sent her a gift. Because my son has a new gf, we keep it respectful. And I don't have any illusions about my son getting back with his ex. I happen to love his current gf too. My point is, as a parent, you can come to love your child's gf or bf very much. I don't think the behavior is odd at all. The son is their link and another reminder of their daughter. Are they going thru sheer hell? Absolutely. It's possible that they felt buying the car was something their daughter would've wanted them to do. Whatever their reason, I'm certain it was done out of love and in some way it made them feel better. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mom22Boys Posted December 26, 2015 Author Share Posted December 26, 2015 This is most likely their way of dealing with the loss of their daughter. If their daughter was with him for awhile, then they probably became very close to him during that time. In their minds, he is probably like a son to them. So, their loss is exaggerated by losing him, in a sense. I'm still loosely close to my son's ex gf and her family. I still love them and miss them. His ex gf just graduated from college recently and sent me a note saying how much I meant in her life. I sent her a gift. Because my son has a new gf, we keep it respectful. And I don't have any illusions about my son getting back with his ex. I happen to love his current gf too. My point is, as a parent, you can come to love your child's gf or bf very much. I don't think the behavior is odd at all. The son is their link and another reminder of their daughter. Are they going thru sheer hell? Absolutely. It's possible that they felt buying the car was something their daughter would've wanted them to do. Whatever their reason, I'm certain it was done out of love and in some way it made them feel better. Thanks you for understanding and empathizing with the situation. Christmas was understandably hard but nothing major happened thanks to a lot of understanding Family that was here, He put on a brave face and marched through the day but last night he broke again. I am honestly not looking forward to New years eve or day. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mom22Boys Posted December 28, 2015 Author Share Posted December 28, 2015 Sorry I haven't posted in a couple days been dealing with some things, Son had a couple rough days after Christmas. And now he is fighting me on taking the meds. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Sorry I haven't posted in a couple days been dealing with some things, Son had a couple rough days after Christmas. And now he is fighting me on taking the meds. Aw. Sorry to hear this. No doubt seeing the girl's parents was somewhat of a set-back for him emotionally. Still, in the long run, I think it will be good that it happened. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 29, 2015 Share Posted December 29, 2015 He needs to be on his meds, even if it means another facility stay. If something is bothering him about them, then he must simply talk to the prescribing doctor and let him know the issue. It is common to have to try different ones to find the right one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mom22Boys Posted December 29, 2015 Author Share Posted December 29, 2015 We go see his doctor and then therapist tomorow so hopefully we can get this worked out. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mom22Boys Posted December 30, 2015 Author Share Posted December 30, 2015 They adjusted his meds he was upset with how tired they were making him feel. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 They adjusted his meds he was upset with how tired they were making him feel. Hey, that sounds promising. How have you been doing? Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 Mom22, how are things going with your son? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mom22Boys Posted January 4, 2016 Author Share Posted January 4, 2016 New years wasn't the best and that is why I haven't updated in awhile. And I apologize for that. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 New years wasn't the best and that is why I haven't updated in awhile. And I apologize for that. No worries. I'm really sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mom22Boys Posted January 7, 2016 Author Share Posted January 7, 2016 Honestly getting worried my son might be regressing a good bit. Its a struggle and a fight to get him to eat and take meds and he is withdrawing a lot now. Only time he goes out is to see this 22 year old who is one of his male friends older sisters. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Is it an option to send him back to the hospital? I think it was the holidays that probably set things off again. I'm just so sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mom22Boys Posted January 7, 2016 Author Share Posted January 7, 2016 I know but I just hate having to do that to him again. Link to post Share on other sites
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