Why does the guy pay (or not)?

[jay1983]

That sounds good! I love mini-golf. Great first date. You're just whining because you're disappointed the date didn't work out that you wanted though, right? Meaning continuing to see the girl. Not for money lost. If I'm paying I consider it a gift not an investment.

 

Post about why your dates aren't going the way you want them to and we will help you out

 

Nah, I just like whining. Lol

[SawtoothMars]

On the spectrum, my experiences match those guys that feel fine paying as it's part of how they prefer to date. So I don't think they expect anything, it's a nice and well received surprise though and I think they like it because it alleviates any doubts they had about being used. A lot of times they accept 1 out of 3 or 5 because they still want to be gentlemen--but that's just my experience because there is a cluster of traits that surrounds this behavior that is what I'm attracted to. Doesn't mean every guy is like this and I'm sure some do have more specific expectations.

 

Ok... so once you are in a relationship you become generous. However, upfront you prefer to have the man be generous.

 

How frequently do your dates turn into relationships? Do you date 10 guys to get 1 BF?

 

I'm just interested in understanding what women who like to have men pay for dates feel when a guy pays and then she decides he isn't worth a second date?

 

 

I'll be honest - I'm completely taken back this. Buying someone dinner obligates them to do something for you? My friend Steve bought me dinner the other night, was I supposed to give him a quick reach around afterwards?

Life isn't fair sometimes. Women get dinners bought for them, but I can pee standing up and I don't have to go through periods or endure pregnancy for 9 months. Those are just the breaks, man. I've never once thought to myself that anyone was ever obligated to speak with me again just because I swiped my card. I mean, I applaud your honesty, I just didn't realize that people really thought of it like this.

 

There is a difference between biology and social constructs. Women can today pee standing up and at some point in the near future women will no longer have to give birth as babies will be raised in tanks. That probably will not end the expectation of men paying for dates, which is entirely a social construct... like a dowry system.

 

Yeah, life isn't fair... but that isn't an excuse! Isn't one of our values as a society an attempt to make life more just... more fair? I would argue that it IS one of our values. I don't think it's acceptable to only strive to make life fair for some people an not others!

[crude]

My definition of a "real man" is different than the sexist standard. If a man allows himself to become a walking wallet, how is he a real man. If he's so desperate that he'll let a woman manipulate him, how is he a man, he's weak and desperate. All a woman has to do is tell they guy it's only romantic if he pays for everything, and he buys into that. I real man wouldn't allow a woman to pay for anything, and he falls for it. The big cliche now is men saying they don't mind paying for everything, as long as the women don't take it for granted. So women tell the man they don't take it for granted, he's such a real man and he knows how to take care of a woman, panders to his childish ego, and he falls for the manipulation. Problem is, those women don't budget for dates at all, they expect the man to always pay, so of course she's taking it for granted that he pays, she's lying to their faces. A wife telling her husband how proud she is of her real man taking care of her, having him work long hours like a slave instead of spending time with his children is just manipulating him, playing to his foolish pride. Maybe a "real man" wants his wife to provide for herself so he can be an equal parent and human being, and maybe he tells his date that he asked her out, so he pays the first time, but if there's a second date, the ball is in her court, she can pay for every second date, do her share, there are 2 people in the relationship. Funny how sexist stereotypes rule over common sense, equality, decency.

[SawtoothMars]

That's because I'm NOT a "feminazi"...I'm a "feminist".

The only time I've been called a "feminazi" is by men who recognize I'm not a "traditionalist" and have a limited vocabulary.

 

I think you meant "limited intellect", but said "limited vocabulary" just to be polite. You're so nice!

 

Seeeee?!? Now, a true "feminist" (male or female) would realize that most times reverse-cowgirl is just better with her on top.

But, if I was with you - and you were soooooo insistent on being in control and having to be on top -

I'd let you assume the reverse-cowgirl position. Yanno...since you wanted it so badly and simply insisted...

 

I think I would take you up on that offer!

 

I know a way to do that particular position without utilizing any of the less sanitary orifices. In college we called it the "Tequila Sunrise". I'm sure you would enjoy it "yanno"

 

Well women in the beginning stages traditionally have to sit back and be passive and let the guy make the moves. So I guess you guys are paying to be in the driver's seat.

 

On a serious note. THIS is kind of what I was getting at.

 

Paying for dates doesn't mean you get to have some kind of Bill Cosby action. It isn't a ripoff... otherwise I wouldn't participate. It also isn't just some antiquated social norm.

 

I think some women like mrldii understand this instinctively, but it puts the guy in control. A guy can easily use this to his advantage. Many guys are too passive in the way they approach dating. Western Culture has an epidemic of passive men in every aspect of life.

Edited August 4, 2015 by SawtoothMars

[Versacehottie]

Ok... so once you are in a relationship you become generous. However, upfront you prefer to have the man be generous.

 

How frequently do your dates turn into relationships? Do you date 10 guys to get 1 BF?

 

I'm just interested in understanding what women who like to have men pay for dates feel when a guy pays and then she decides he isn't worth a second date?

 

 

 

Good questions. I haven't found that my stance on paying has been an issue AT ALL. I think it is the most common stance that most girls have anyway. Actually I have been generous before I am fully in the relationship. As I said, in previous post, I consider anything I pay for a gift and not an investment. I am happy to give it at the time even if the relationship or even that very date doesn't go the way I would have liked. (to be fair, and I think this is what you want to hear me say: the dating is usually going well already and I pay and it's not really a factor one way or another. But I think that's to be presumed if you don't pay until 3-4 date. I don't really have a rule about it.).

 

I imagine the type of guys I've liked are doing some version of this. They pay because it is who they want to be not as an investment of who they want me to be.

 

I can literally say that I've only been out with 3 guys who I would consider cheap or had values about dating and paying that don't match mine. Two were only first dates. The other one was first and second only (he hid the stingy-ness the first date which was easy because I was happy to do what he had suggested for the date and it didn't cost much which was fine with me). All 3 guys ultimately felt I owed them something in some form or another for being on the date, which is not a quality I am attracted to (people keeping score and not generous of spirit and poor manners). I guess what I'm saying is that because I'm pretty perceptive I've been good at picking people for dates that seem to have the qualities of being a chivalrous guy because the other qualities that surround that as well are what attract me. I have been lucky in this zone. I guess but I think you attract what you are and I am very generous. I think even my posts on this site which are not about money at all for most part people can tell that if they are paying attention. Generosity of spirit. Someone who is keeping score won't be able to understand the concept, I don't think. Because I think I make sure the guy's values are in line with my own, money (while it can be a huge issue in some relationships) has never been an issue in my own.

 

"Do I date 10 guys to get 1 bf?" Huh? Not sure what this subject has to do with the thread at hand. They don't corollate. Again, the cluster of traits that attract me to a guy and him to me I guess has steered me to people with a like-minded stance. Money has not been an issue with anyone other than those 3. I consider myself lucky that I found out up front and it was definitely a rare occurrence that this even happened. I know why on the 2 that were just first dates and won't bore you with the reasons. I would only consider the one that I went on two dates with where I misjudged or wasn't paying attention enough to what his qualities were. I did notice a couple of other red flags on the 1st date with that guy but they had nothing to do with his generosity or lack thereof. Buried somewhere in this site is my relationship status if you are worried about it. I'm not. It's good.

 

As far as how I'm feeling when I know on my end that I don't plan on going on a second date. This is a great question. Sometimes in past I have offered to pay. I think I'm not alone (with other girls) that when I offer to pay on first date, it means I have no intention of seeing you again. I think of you just as a friend. Sometimes I don't do that because that would feel offensive to do so. Kind of insulting. Sometimes in all honesty, I do feel bad letting them pay but I think it would be more insulting to whip out my credit card or cash. Like you are not the one, buddy. Sometimes I have left a date not really sure if I will go again or even thinking I would but he f*cks it up in the in-between time so it's not like I knew I'd never see him again. I feel the worst when the guy is generous and sweet etc but there is just not chemistry.

 

In general, however, I do believe that at beginning of dating guys are going by norms so I don't think about it too much. And honestly, I don't think it's been in the mind of guys I've dated much either. I'm assuming if he asks me to go somewhere it's money he wants to spend and he will do it within his means and what he feels is appropriate, his style. I like when guys are responsible for their own decisions and don't whine (sorry jay!) about wasted time or money for trying to reach a goal of theirs (dating or finding a gf). FYI, I usually spend more than the guy spends on the date buying new clothes etc for the date. Not that a guy needs to worry about that and I'm not complaining at all (but this part is much more expensive to be a girl just FYI). I'm excited to go and treat it as such as I think he should. I'm not calculating that into the cost of the date--it's not his responsibility whatsoever--it's just something that I imagine that a lot of guys haven't thought of. That behind the scenes, unspoken thing where it does represent that we are committed and as hopeful about the date as you are. Anyway, those are my answers

[Versacehottie]

On a serious note. THIS is kind of what I was getting at.

 

Paying for dates doesn't mean you get to have some kind of Bill Cosby action. It isn't a ripoff... otherwise I wouldn't participate. It also isn't just some antiquated social norm.

 

I think some women like mrldii understand this instinctively, but it puts the guy in control. A guy can easily use this to his advantage. Many guys are too passive in the way they approach dating. Western Culture has an epidemic of passive men in every aspect of life.

 

By no means do I mean any Bill Cosby action either. What I was saying has nothing to do with what affection needs to be given in return for dates. Ugh.

 

Guys do get to call most of the shots upfront though. Look at how many threads are on here about what should I do, he hasn't called. The correct answer most of the time is be patient. I don't think it's passive at all the power a guy has at the beginning. A guy gets to be in control and set the pace with the norms and a woman who reaches out and asks a guy for a date risks looking desperate and upsetting the balance at the beginning. It's a very delicate balance for women that you would never be able to understand. LOL,

 

I don't think western culture is passive at all. There may be more outspoken guys who want their cake and eat it too though. In a lot of the other cultures things are so much more clear cut that there is less confusion for BOTH sides--that I would agree with. A guy knows what he's supposed to do and a girl knows what she's supposed to do. I think most other cultures follow more traditional dating norms rather than less traditional though so not sure what your point is.

 

Whew, guys get heated on this issue:sick: I don't mind if you don't want to pay. I'm just mainly saying if you don't follow norms you are going to have a reduced dating pool and your competition and peers may be doing something else (see posts above). Cry all you want but you also may miss out on some great girls. I do think when someone feels as strongly as you about the paying you should find a like-minded girl to date. Then your problems will be solved.

 

good luck

[PrettyEmily77]

Seems like I touched a nerve!

 

Okay, I want to bring back but slightly rephrase the original questions:

 

 

 

3. Women, how do you respond to the man offering or insisting on paying?

4. How do you respond to his not offering or his suggesting to split (or that you pay)?

 

 

Yep, seems like you touched a nerve with both genders! So odd, considering this is really just one aspect of a R. Probs also depends on so many outside factors like how ppl have met (OLD / IRL), what their financial situation is, what they relationship with money is in general, etc.

 

 

 

 

3. My BF is the only guy I've been with that has ever insisted on paying every single time, from the beginning, when we go out. I find other ways to treat him (clothes, perfume, stuff to do with his hobbies - if we're just talking in financial terms). He's not controlling in the slightest and doesn't have any expectations from me; that's just how he rolls. Took time for me to get used to it because I was very conscious of not wanting to make him feel like I was taking advantage of him but that's just how it is. I would say I'm with him in spite of that. Never did OLD and have a secure job, so maybe that explains things?

 

 

4. With pretty much most of the guys I dated / was in a R I took turns, and with a couple of them I would pay most of the time (made sense at the time, as I was the higher earner). I hate the tackiness off splitting the bill and feel a lot better doing all or nothing. Never been an issue or an indicator of how the R / date was gonna pan out.

 

 

My closest male friend, who is gay and a serial dater (both OLD and IRL), says he insists on paying for the first few dates with a guy as a rule, then some sort of pattern is established depending on level of income.

[joseb]

 

I think I'm not alone (with other girls) that when I offer to pay on first date, it means I have no intention of seeing you again.

 

If this is true (girls only offer to pay if they are NOT interested in the guy) it might explain why there are so many failed first dates, as for each girl like this, there is probably a nice guy who is happy to pay but who thinks that if the girl doesn't at least offer, then she is just taking advantage of a free meal ticket.

So they never meet again.

[Her Bridges]

There is a difference between biology and social constructs. Women can today pee standing up and at some point in the near future women will no longer have to give birth as babies will be raised in tanks. That probably will not end the expectation of men paying for dates, which is entirely a social construct... like a dowry system.

 

Which reminds me, isn't it still typical/expected for a woman's family to pay for the wedding, bridal shower, baby shower? I mean, obviously a lot of couples pay for their own now, but that's another "standard" I've heard many times.

[Versacehottie]

If this is true (girls only offer to pay if they are NOT interested in the guy) it might explain why there are so many failed first dates, as for each girl like this, there is probably a nice guy who is happy to pay but who thinks that if the girl doesn't at least offer, then she is just taking advantage of a free meal ticket.

So they never meet again.

 

I'll admit I'm a little confused about what you mean. I sometimes offer (although not sure if I can remember doing that on a first date) but the guy will say "oh you can get me next time" (whether they let me or not the next time). Any guy who thinks I'm there for a free meal, I'm not interested in. I don't need the money and wouldn't waste my time like that as I'm guessing is the case with most girls. Not interested in people who think negatively like that. LOL, it's hilarious that guys would even be paranoid about a girl wanting a free meal as it is cited most often by guys who feel put out paying. Trust me, most of us don't want to "take" anything from you-- we want to see what type of person you are, what your values are. If I knew a guy felt like I was trying to get a free meal out of him, I would rather not go since they are someone I would see no future with. Plus there are plenty of guys who do pay like gentlemen. In my dating history it has rarely been an issue. Like I've said on this thread, the type of guys I've been attracted to and vice versa, it's not been an issue at all. To be fair, it is also the type of friends I've been attracted to as well. I'm generous and respond to the same in other people. Pettiness & bitterness & negativity is a no go.

 

I think guys who have a big chip on their shoulders about paying for a first date that they asked for are in the minority of guys in total. Or maybe they adjust their standards based on whether they think a girl is worthy of paying for. Like if your dream girl is on a first date with you? vs date number 19 after 18 unsuccessful online dates?

[Candygirljane]

Because guys are men ?

[mike_89]

You're mixing up "equality" with "sameness"; they are NOT synonyms.

 

 

More men are becoming nurses; it's one of the contributing factors to why nurses' salaries, overall, are on the rise.

 

True "social equality" requires women getting into as many bar fights as men? Why does "equality" to some, mean that men and women should lower themselves to a same level?

 

That's what equality means. Equal means the same. Equivalence means having the same value, that is what we should strive for. Men and women are too different to be equal.

 

On the gender wage gap though, it does not exist. At least not in the sense you describe it here (as being the result of men getting a higher wage per hour), there are differences in wages between men and women but they are caused by choice (job preference, amount of hours worked, etc) not by discrimination (men and women doing the exact same hours, for the exact same job, at the exact same company getting different wages). Report by CONSAD for the US Departments of Labor

Executive Director of Independent Women's Forum explaining why the gender wage gap is an illusion and how it is misused

edit: this is fairly offtopic, interesting reads though.

[SawtoothMars]

Good questions. I haven't found that my stance on paying has been an issue AT ALL. I think it is the most common stance that most girls have anyway. Actually I have been generous before I am fully in the relationship. As I said, in previous post, I consider anything I pay for a gift and not an investment. I am happy to give it at the time even if the relationship or even that very date doesn't go the way I would have liked. (to be fair, and I think this is what you want to hear me say: the dating is usually going well already and I pay and it's not really a factor one way or another. But I think that's to be presumed if you don't pay until 3-4 date. I don't really have a rule about it.).

I imagine the type of guys I've liked are doing some version of this. They pay because it is who they want to be not as an investment of who they want me to be.

I can literally say that I've only been out with 3 guys who I would consider cheap or had values about dating and paying that don't match mine. Two were only first dates. The other one was first and second only (he hid the stingy-ness the first date which was easy because I was happy to do what he had suggested for the date and it didn't cost much which was fine with me). All 3 guys ultimately felt I owed them something in some form or another for being on the date, which is not a quality I am attracted to (people keeping score and not generous of spirit and poor manners). I guess what I'm saying is that because I'm pretty perceptive I've been good at picking people for dates that seem to have the qualities of being a chivalrous guy because the other qualities that surround that as well are what attract me. I have been lucky in this zone. I guess but I think you attract what you are and I am very generous. I think even my posts on this site which are not about money at all for most part people can tell that if they are paying attention. Generosity of spirit. Someone who is keeping score won't be able to understand the concept, I don't think. Because I think I make sure the guy's values are in line with my own, money (while it can be a huge issue in some relationships) has never been an issue in my own.

 

It's good that you primarily attract "generous" men. I don't personally value generosity in a woman. I don't recommend anyone try to pick a future mate based on this particular trait. Empathy is much more important. People can be generous but completely lack empathy or have a low emotional IQ.

 

"Do I date 10 guys to get 1 bf?" Huh? Not sure what this subject has to do with the thread at hand. They don't corollate. Again, the cluster of traits that attract me to a guy and him to me I guess has steered me to people with a like-minded stance. Money has not been an issue with anyone other than those 3. I consider myself lucky that I found out up front and it was definitely a rare occurrence that this even happened. I know why on the 2 that were just first dates and won't bore you with the reasons. I would only consider the one that I went on two dates with where I misjudged or wasn't paying attention enough to what his qualities were. I did notice a couple of other red flags on the 1st date with that guy but they had nothing to do with his generosity or lack thereof. Buried somewhere in this site is my relationship status if you are worried about it. I'm not. It's good.

 

I am primarily wondering how many potential suitors you go through on average before finding one you would like to date.

 

I personally keep track of my success ratios. Maybe it is a coping mechanism for dealing with rejection, which is one of the most painful of human emotions. When I was young, I really struggled with dating. Now that I'm older and professionally successful it's much easier.

 

You probably wont understand that much because dating is more of a selection process to you than an in your face parade of rejections.

 

As far as how I'm feeling when I know on my end that I don't plan on going on a second date. This is a great question. Sometimes in past I have offered to pay. I think I'm not alone (with other girls) that when I offer to pay on first date, it means I have no intention of seeing you again. I think of you just as a friend. Sometimes I don't do that because that would feel offensive to do so. Kind of insulting. Sometimes in all honesty, I do feel bad letting them pay but I think it would be more insulting to whip out my credit card or cash. Like you are not the one, buddy. Sometimes I have left a date not really sure if I will go again or even thinking I would but he f*cks it up in the in-between time so it's not like I knew I'd never see him again. I feel the worst when the guy is generous and sweet etc but there is just not chemistry.

 

I think you probably represent the thought process of most women in this scenario. This is a very traditional view of dating.

 

I believe it's important to look at the world from other people's perspective from time to time. There are plenty of guys... many on loveshack... who have very low success ratios when it comes to dating. This means that time and time again... they are the guys you essentially "dine and dash" on. Imagine that was you. I would bet that over time you would become very resentful and guarded.

 

 

In general, however, I do believe that at beginning of dating guys are going by norms so I don't think about it too much. And honestly, I don't think it's been in the mind of guys I've dated much either. I'm assuming if he asks me to go somewhere it's money he wants to spend and he will do it within his means and what he feels is appropriate, his style. I like when guys are responsible for their own decisions and don't whine (sorry jay!) about wasted time or money for trying to reach a goal of theirs (dating or finding a gf). FYI, I usually spend more than the guy spends on the date buying new clothes etc for the date. Not that a guy needs to worry about that and I'm not complaining at all (but this part is much more expensive to be a girl just FYI). I'm excited to go and treat it as such as I think he should. I'm not calculating that into the cost of the date--it's not his responsibility whatsoever--it's just something that I imagine that a lot of guys haven't thought of. That behind the scenes, unspoken thing where it does represent that we are committed and as hopeful about the date as you are. Anyway, those are my answers

 

Thank you for providing these answers! It's very good to know your perspective and see where you are coming from.

 

I like paying for dates today. I used to pick expensive places, because I wanted to go and didn't want to go alone. The money doesn't bother me because I make plenty.

 

When I was in my mid 20's and poor, I felt differently about this. I would guess that most guys also view this topic in terms of available resources.

 

By no means do I mean any Bill Cosby action either. What I was saying has nothing to do with what affection needs to be given in return for dates. Ugh.

Guys do get to call most of the shots upfront though. Look at how many threads are on here about what should I do, he hasn't called. The correct answer most of the time is be patient. I don't think it's passive at all the power a guy has at the beginning. A guy gets to be in control and set the pace with the norms and a woman who reaches out and asks a guy for a date risks looking desperate and upsetting the balance at the beginning. It's a very delicate balance for women that you would never be able to understand. LOL,

 

Everyone has a different dating style. Men are supposed to be leaders and take charge to a degree. I think most women value those traits.

 

Here is the deal though. Guys who have had a reasonable amount of success are not going to struggle with this... while guys who have less positive experiences are going to struggle. That doesn't mean they are any less quality, it just means they maybe lack confidence or some other trait required of men for dating.

 

That is why I enjoy having control, while many others will see it as a burden.

 

I don't think western culture is passive at all. There may be more outspoken guys who want their cake and eat it too though. In a lot of the other cultures things are so much more clear cut that there is less confusion for BOTH sides--that I would agree with. A guy knows what he's supposed to do and a girl knows what she's supposed to do. I think most other cultures follow more traditional dating norms rather than less traditional though so not sure what your point is.

 

The vast majority of westernized men have bought into this "yes dear" culture of hen-pecking and passivity. I can understand you thinking that all of the cake eater type guys who sit around whining about things are aggressive, but I assure you that it is the opposite. Those guys are being vocal as a sign of passivity.

 

Having set in stone dating rules and norms is good in a way, however I actually like the freedom to make my own rules. I suppose it's a trade off.

 

Whew, guys get heated on this issue:sick: I don't mind if you don't want to pay. I'm just mainly saying if you don't follow norms you are going to have a reduced dating pool and your competition and peers may be doing something else (see posts above). Cry all you want but you also may miss out on some great girls. I do think when someone feels as strongly as you about the paying you should find a like-minded girl to date. Then your problems will be solved.

good luck

 

My goal is to get you to look at the topic from another perspective. Whether you pay your own way or not makes little difference to me. I'm set in my ways and am type A enough to enjoy the control aspect of paying.

[SawtoothMars]

Which reminds me, isn't it still typical/expected for a woman's family to pay for the wedding, bridal shower, baby shower? I mean, obviously a lot of couples pay for their own now, but that's another "standard" I've heard many times.

 

I think the brides family typically pays. Last wedding I attended was a guy from my church. He married a girl who doesn't know her father and has a very poor mother. His family paid for the wedding. So... I think today this just comes down to whoever has the resources with the brides family set as default.

 

This is something families should split the cost of whenever possible. Weddings are stupid expensive today.

[SawtoothMars]

I think guys who have a big chip on their shoulders about paying for a first date that they asked for are in the minority of guys in total. Or maybe they adjust their standards based on whether they think a girl is worthy of paying for. Like if your dream girl is on a first date with you? vs date number 19 after 18 unsuccessful online dates?

 

Isn't it also possible that they just hide it? Isn't it possible that every single guy you have ever dated felt this way but just did what you expected of them in order to have a chance with you?

 

This is a pay to play world.

[Her Bridges]

On the gender wage gap though, it does not exist. At least not in the sense you describe it here (as being the result of men getting a higher wage per hour), there are differences in wages between men and women but they are caused by choice (job preference, amount of hours worked, etc) not by discrimination (men and women doing the exact same hours, for the exact same job, at the exact same company getting different wages).

 

Yes, it does exist, please check back through the chat to see my example. Same job, same employer, same hours, same responsibilities, different pay. I agree that much of the wage gap is due to circumstance and job choice (having a kid can easily set back your career, a lucrative field being historically more attractive to men, etc.) but that overall scheme does not detract from the fact that gender discrimination in the workforce still exists.

[HereNorThere]

I think we're pretty quick to forget that up until 1974, most women couldn't even get a credit card or bank account without their husband's signature. It's only recently that women were in even allowed into the workplace. Colleges and workplaces were allowed to discriminate based on gender, height, weight, marital status, etc. If a woman did happen to find employment, the wage gap was nearly 50% less than what a man made and most likely an entry level, service oriented type job.

 

I understand that has changed and is still changing, but it heavily influenced the culture we have now.

[SawtoothMars]

I think we're pretty quick to forget that up until 1974, most women couldn't even get a credit card or bank account without their husband's signature. It's only recently that women were in even allowed into the workplace. Colleges and workplaces were allowed to discriminate based on gender, height, weight, marital status, etc. If a woman did happen to find employment, the wage gap was nearly 50% less than what a man made and most likely an entry level, service oriented type job.

I understand that has changed and is still changing, but it heavily influenced the culture we have now.

 

Women under 30 earn 8% more than men under 30 as of 2012. In large metropolitan areas they make 20% more on average.

 

Fact is that our college population is damn near 65% female, has been for over a decade, and degree holders make most of the money in our economy. Think about how that is going to affect things in the next 10 years.

[mrldii]

Women under 30 earn 8% more than men under 30 as of 2012. In large metropolitan areas they make 20% more on average...

 

OOOOooooo...so that's why men over 50 prefer women under 30...all this time, I thought it had to do with perky boobs and elevated butts.

 

Damned gold-digging entitled little princes.

 

 

[OldRover]

OOOOooooo...so that's why men over 50 prefer women under 30...all this time, I thought it had to do with perky boobs and elevated butts.

 

Damned gold-digging entitled little princes.

 

 

 

Good point.... when I had my under 30 GF, she was making a LOT more money that I was, perhaps double. However, as time went on, I ended up surpassing her by over 4 times as much, so she retired way early (big mistake).

 

But early on the perky boobs and elevated butt didn't hurt.....

[SawtoothMars]

OOOOooooo...so that's why men over 50 prefer women under 30...all this time, I thought it had to do with perky boobs and elevated butts.

Damned gold-digging entitled little princes.

 

"gold digging, entitled, little princesses". You have absolutely no idea how satisfying that is to hear. I've actually seen guys around that age date younger women specifically for financial gain. That's probably a story for another time.

 

What I can say is that the world is changing, and people should learn to adapt. That may mean dating a guy who doesn't make as much as you do, and not being resentful of paying your own way. Probably two things you already have no problem with.

 

On a side note... at age 35... I don't really find young women to be attractive. Some are cute like kittens, but that's pretty much it. I sometimes wonder if my tastes will continue to age with me or I will forever be most attracted to women age 30-40.

[katiegrl]

"gold digging, entitled, little princesses". You have absolutely no idea how satisfying that is to hear. I've actually seen guys around that age date younger women specifically for financial gain. That's probably a story for another time.

 

What I can say is that the world is changing, and people should learn to adapt. That may mean dating a guy who doesn't make as much as you do, and not being resentful of paying your own way. Probably two things you already have no problem with.

 

On a side note... at age 35... I don't really find young women to be attractive. Some are cute like kittens, but that's pretty much it. I sometimes wonder if my tastes will continue to age with me or I will forever be most attracted to women age 30-40.

 

 

Aren't you married? Or in LTR? I recall reading that another thread awhile ago.

 

Did you break up?

[SawtoothMars]

Aren't you married? Or in LTR? I recall reading that another thread awhile ago.

Did you break up?

 

Yes! I am happily married.

 

What gave you the impression that I'm not?

[HereNorThere]

"gold digging, entitled, little princesses". You have absolutely no idea how satisfying that is to hear.

 

Not too good at picking up on sarcasm, eh?

[katiegrl]

Yes! I am happily married.

 

What gave you the impression that I'm not?

 

This (below)

 

 

" I sometimes wonder if my tastes will continue to age with me or I will forever be most attracted to women age 30-40.

 

 

Just kind of an odd thing for a happily married person to say, tis all..

 

Whatevs.

Edited August 4, 2015 by katiegrl