I am so lost and alone

[drifter777]

I don't know if "needing" to be forgiven means anything to your BF. He may never forgive you so you should focus on yourself and get your life together.

[Star lights]

Thank you so much.

 

You are right I have to get over this.

 

Strangely enough and not defending my actions, but when I told my friends about it they said that I give him everything and he has probably damaged me more throughout our relationship then I have him. Although I don't exactly believe this it just shows that maybe we aren't as perfect as I thought and maybe there were underlying issues that caused me to stray.

 

I'm confused about whether to try to fix this though. I love him a lot but he could never look at me the same and I would jus have to suppress my feelings even more than I did before.

 

He works away for a month at a time and is back for a week so I was extremely lonely, not that this is why I cheated but I mean that I struggled to Be alone and maybe I need to learn to be alone before I can be my best self for someone else

[A.Moscote]

He won't even talk to me!

If he's willing to listen to you, what is the foremost thing you wanted to say to him?

 

I'm confused about whether to try to fix this though.

Then leave it as it is i.e. ended. Just focus on yourself and all these wrongs, mistakes, and issues arising from the relationship that you are pointing out now. They are much more worthy and important to be reflected and work on.

 

Anyway, it's good to see you are slowly recomposing yourself. Be patient, and take the times to think and learn.

[Star lights]

That I'm sorry and I'll never do this again

[italianjob]

I think I must have expressed my initial point poorly. Let me attempt an analogy instead.

 

Imagine you're walking your dog across the street and somebody driving their car sees you and instead of slowing down they speed up and hit your pet. Naturally you get upset and have some choice words for the driver as anybody in your shoes would. Now imagine that I (an observer) witness all of this and my first instinct is to point my finger in your face and chastise you for your disrespectful tone towards the driver of the vehicle. What would that say about me and my values that rebuking you for your words spoken in anger is my highest priority.

 

All of this talk about what people who've just had a nuke dropped on their world ought to have said and done differently is bizarre to me. The notion that somebody who has just suffered a terrible injustice at the hands of another ought to have their behavior put under our critical microscopes while the person who committed the wrong against them should be cut a nigh infinite amount of slack because they're remorseful or they're imagined to be in some kind of "fog" from the endorphin rush of their illicit behavior is downright alien to my sense of right and wrong. For lack of a less childlike term it strikes me as unfair.

 

I think the OP and others like her having a sense of the seriousness of how unacceptable their behavior was is actually a good thing not just for their significant other but for themselves as well. When somebody feels guilty it's generally cause they've acted in a way that contradicts their own moral code. People whose natural instinct it is to downplay the wrongness of the OP's actions or who attempt to blame shift her behavior in order to alleviate her of the guilt she feels while perhaps sincere in their desire to ease her pain are not really helping her in the long run. A person can only flee from their conscience for so long before it eventually catches up with them. It would be better for her if she faces the fallout from this head on with her integrity intact. It's not about self flagellation but owning our sins and facing those we've wronged with a contrite heart. This is what repentance is.

 

Some perspective and common sense, at long last...

[italianjob]

Thank you so much.

 

You are right I have to get over this.

 

Strangely enough and not defending my actions, but when I told my friends about it they said that I give him everything and he has probably damaged me more throughout our relationship then I have him. Although I don't exactly believe this it just shows that maybe we aren't as perfect as I thought and maybe there were underlying issues that caused me to stray.

 

I'm confused about whether to try to fix this though. I love him a lot but he could never look at me the same and I would jus have to suppress my feelings even more than I did before.

 

He works away for a month at a time and is back for a week so I was extremely lonely, not that this is why I cheated but I mean that I struggled to Be alone and maybe I need to learn to be alone before I can be my best self for someone else

 

Mmm... you started out so good...

 

Listen, people do make mistakes and do take bad or even horrible decisions, sometimes you can repair the damage, sometimes you can't, that's life, but if you want to grow up the first thing you should learn is to own what's yours.

 

Nothing and no one caused you to stray. You caused you to stray...

[Star lights]

Oh please understand, I own up completely, this is all my fault no one else's, I just mean that maybe I wasn't a happy as I thought

[Friskyone4u]

Strangely enough and not defending my actions, but when I told my friends about it they said that I give him everything and he has probably damaged me more throughout our relationship then I have him. Although I don't exactly believe this it just shows that maybe we aren't as perfect as I thought and maybe there were underlying issues that caused me to stray.

 

Not great advice. Your friends probably would have cheered you or did cheer you on while you were partying.

 

if you are convinced you do not want to do it again, and i think you are, you might want friends with more brains.

 

True friends would have tried to dissuade you from rujining your relationship. you may not have listened but they would have tried

[Star lights]

No they would never have condoned this, they are nice girls but I think now I've done it they are trying to make me see that my relationship wasn't perfect.

 

I'm 3 days from being home and I've never been in a more lonely place in my life. I cannot wait to hug my family and go to church to pray for forgiveness.

 

3 days seems so long when you can't even cope with one moment in your own mind...our mind can be our worst enemy sometimes.

 

I cry for him and I cry for my self respect. I must get through this and I must find a way to do right in the world again.

 

I think this has shattered my love for humanity, when you can't even trust yourself you have nothing.

 

My pain is for him and I will get a small satisfaction from knowing that I am punishing myself for him. He will be happy a lot sooner then I will I hope and this brings me some comfort.

 

I understand that everyone has said that I shouldn't punish myself but I think for me it is the best way to get over this, I need to punish myself to know that I have paid for what I have done.

 

I will continue counselling (I have been seeing a counsellor for some months now) but right now I need to accept that I've done a terrible thing and I don't deserve forgiveness from him but I can comfort him in some way by allowing myself to be tormented by my actions .

 

This will teach me to never hurt anyone again and I hope by doing this karma will not catch up with me. I pray it won'tt, I hope karma know how sorry I am. I want so much to be happy again and I will once I've paid for my mistakes.

 

Thank you all. You have been like friends. I feel very grateful for sites like this. I fear I would have done something silly had I not had someone to vent to and you have all been so kind even if you don't agree with me.

 

I wish you all luck and I pray for your happiness.

 

I will keep you all informed on how I am

 

if you are reading this and thinking of cheating...remember you are only cheating yourself of true happiness.

 

If you are cheating and have true remorse remember that you have to live with yourself, people can guide you but ultimately we are alone and have to face your own demons when the lights are off, but as my mum says if we are all alone at least we are all together in that. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you make the right choices in life

[turnera]

You talk a lot about punishment. Were you 'punished' a lot growing up?

[BetheButterfly]

I'm so sorry that I've caused such a heated discussion between everyone. I guess were all so different in our opinions. I understand I need to work on me but I can't let this go, I need to try.

 

I just need to get home and move my things out and then take each day as it comes.

 

Ah Star lights, people argue. Please don't apologize. Yeah we're all different. Communication includes a form of arguing when people disagree, and the important thing is to respect one another while arguing.

 

Love you Star:love: and yeah, you need to work on you. I know that sounds painful now and that you'd just rather your boyfriend forgive and forget, but healing and growing will help you so much more in the long run. Hugs.

[Star lights]

You talk a lot about punishment. Were you 'punished' a lot growing up?

 

No I wasn't overly punished growing up but I am wondering if I wanted to be young and care free now because I wasn't that as a child, I cared for my mum through her breakdown from the age of 4 until I was around 21 so I think I grew up quite quickly and looked to relationships for normality but I wouldn't say that this excuses my behaviour or causes me to punish myself for my actions anymore than anyone else.

[Star lights]

Ah Star lights, people argue. Please don't apologize. Yeah we're all different. Communication includes a form of arguing when people disagree, and the important thing is to respect one another while arguing.

 

Love you Star:love: and yeah, you need to work on you. I know that sounds painful now and that you'd just rather your boyfriend forgive and forget, but healing and growing will help you so much more in the long run. Hugs.

 

Thank you so much I feel like you have been far to kind to me but I really appreciate it. You are a good person, I can tell this from your responses. I really believe you ae helping people by being on this site. Youve helped me, more than I think you could ever realise. Thank you for that

[BetheButterfly]

No they would never have condoned this, they are nice girls but I think now I've done it they are trying to make me see that my relationship wasn't perfect.

 

No relationship is perfect, but true love thinks of the other person in the relationship instead of just oneself.

 

I'm 3 days from being home and I've never been in a more lonely place in my life. I cannot wait to hug my family and go to church to pray for forgiveness.

You believe in God? I do too! God is right there with you Star. Reach out to Him. Read Psalm 51 in the Bible and Isaiah 53, as well as the Gospel of John. You can pray for forgiveness where you are. He loves you and He is forgiving, because of His amazing grace and love.

 

I'm glad that soon you will see your family and go to church. I am sorry you feel lonely right now. I hope it helps knowing that there are people who care for you on loveshack even though we don't know you personally. I'll be praying for you.

 

3 days seems so long when you can't even cope with one moment in your own mind...our mind can be our worst enemy sometimes.

True.

 

I cry for him and I cry for my self respect. I must get through this and I must find a way to do right in the world again.

And you can. You already took the first step, by confessing to him the truth.

 

I think this has shattered my love for humanity, when you can't even trust yourself you have nothing.

Then focus on God's love for humanity, so much that He sent Jesus Christ to save people from sin.

 

My pain is for him and I will get a small satisfaction from knowing that I am punishing myself for him. He will be happy a lot sooner then I will I hope and this brings me some comfort.

Star, please don't try to punish yourself. Please accept God's gift of forgiveness because you are mortal. People make mistakes. You're not the only one who had made a mistake. Remember King David, how he slept with Bathsheba? And he had Bathsheba's husband killed, which was worse - murder. He also didn't even confess of his own accord... God had to send prophet Nathan to convict him about it. After he was convicted, King David wrote Psalm 51. Maybe Psalm 51 will comfort you? I know it's comforted me when I sinned in the past. God forgives when we confess and repent, and you've done that. You've confessed and you are repentant.

 

I understand that everyone has said that I shouldn't punish myself but I think for me it is the best way to get over this, I need to punish myself to know that I have paid for what I have done.

If you are a Christian, Jesus Christ has paid once for all for what people who confess and repent have done.

 

I will continue counselling (I have been seeing a counsellor for some months now) but right now I need to accept that I've done a terrible thing and I don't deserve forgiveness from him but I can comfort him in some way by allowing myself to be tormented by my actions .

I am glad you are in counseling and i hope the counselor will help you understand that you don't need to torment yourself in order to comfort him. You do need to heal from the self-inflicted wound and grow in order to be healthy.

 

This will teach me to never hurt anyone again and I hope by doing this karma will not catch up with me. I pray it won'tt, I hope karma know how sorry I am. I want so much to be happy again and I will once I've paid for my mistakes.

You are afraid of being cheated on now? Sweetheart, people who have never cheated often get cheated on. It's not fair, but sometimes life is not fair.

Thank you all. You have been like friends.

:love:I am glad we can help in some way. Wish I could give you a hug.

 

I feel very grateful for sites like this. I fear I would have done something silly had I not had someone to vent to and you have all been so kind even if you don't agree with me.

Loveshack is a blessing!

I wish you all luck and I pray for your happiness.

 

I will keep you all informed on how I am

Thanks

if you are reading this and thinking of cheating...remember you are only cheating yourself of true happiness.

 

If you are cheating and have true remorse remember that you have to live with yourself, people can guide you but

Great advice!!!

 

ultimately we are alone and have to face your own demons when the lights are off, but as my mum says if we are all alone at least we are all together in that. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you make the right choices in life

God is with us, even when we cannot feel His presence physically. He is there spiritually. Just reach out for Him, because He loves you.

 

Blessings Star lights, and take care. Lots of hugs

[BetheButterfly]

Thank you so much I feel like you have been far to kind to me

 

 

I disagree. There's no such thing in my opinion as too much kindness. God is love. Remember that. And He loves you.

 

 

but I really appreciate it. You are a good person, I can tell this from your responses. I really believe you ae helping people by being on this site. Youve helped me, more than I think you could ever realise. Thank you for that

I really hope that you don't let your past define you. Do you know why my screenname is bethebutterfly? Because I'm not proud of my past. To me, my past was like a caterpillar , but it's because of Love (God's love, in my opinion) that He has transformed me into a butterfly.

 

That's what I feel God's love has done for me, and I know He can do that for you too!!! Love you, and please never forget that God loves you too, and that with His help, you can sprout "wings" and fly into peace and joy, and enjoy life and love people with His love! And, when I healed of my past and grew, God gave me an awesome man to "fly" with me - my husband who you see in my avatar.

 

Remember, you can transform into a "butterfly" too. You need to heal, and someday you will see the past as a lesson and will be able to help other women not to make the same mistakes, but rather to avoid those mistakes. Or, if they have already made those mistakes, you can help them in their healing process too, to heal and grow, to become beautiful butterflies that in turn can bring joy to others.

Edited July 21, 2015 by BetheButterfly

[Star lights]

Thank you so much I feel like you have been far to kind to me but I really appreciate it. You are a good person, I can tell this from your responses. I really believe you ae helping people by being on this site. Youve helped me, more than I think you could ever realise. Thank you for that

 

I disagree. There's no such thing in my opinion as too much kindness. God is love. Remember that. And He loves you.

 

 

I really hope that you don't let your past define you. Do you know why my screenname is bethebutterfly? Because I'm not proud of my past. To me, my past was like a caterpillar , but it's because of Love (God's love, in my opinion) that He has transformed me into a butterfly.

 

That's what I feel God's love has done for me, and I know He can do that for you too!!! Love you, and please never forget that God loves you too, and that with His help, you can sprout "wings" and fly into peace and joy, and enjoy life and love people with His love! And, when I healed of my past and grew, God gave me an awesome man to "fly" with me - my husband who you see in my avatar.

 

Remember, you can transform into a "butterfly" too. You need to heal, and someday you will see the past as a lesson and will be able to help other women not to make the same mistakes, but rather to avoid those mistakes. Or, if they have already made those mistakes, you can help them in their healing process too, to heal and grow, to become beautiful butterflies that in turn can bring joy to others.

 

 

You really do sound lovely. I am happy that you found peace with your past and chose to grow and in return you were given a life partner to share your good and bad times with. I hope that if I fix myself too I will be happy again.

 

Yes I do believe in god and I am going to be a better person. I will prove myself to god and eventually prove my self worth to me.

 

You really are so nice and as I said you don't realise how much you have comforted me.

 

I wish you so much happiness.

[BetheButterfly]

You really do sound lovely. I am happy that you found peace with your past and chose to grow and in return you were given a life partner to share your good and bad times with.

 

Me too. I don't think by the way that I deserve my awesome husband but it's not about deserving or not, but rather about accepting God's love. We will be married for 4 years this September, and I am so thankful that God brought us together!!!

 

When I was in the depths of despair due to my own failures, I didn't think that I would ever be happy again... it took God's love and healing for me to understand that I can be happy even without a man, and that happiness is not dependent on a man. Relationships work best when 2 people are happy together - not depending on each other for their happiness, but rather both are happy people enjoying life together. :bunny:

 

I hope that if I fix myself too I will be happy again.

I had to learn that one can be happy in the healing process. For example, take time to enjoy the beauty around you, such as nature, art, fashion, music, having an animal friend (I became the human friend of a precious Yorkie during my healing; she just turned 8 years old in May! She brings me so much joy!) ... if you like animals, having an animal friend for life is a great blessing. Helping people can make you happy too, like helping feed the poor people. As you heal, you will see how life can be fun and you can be happy even if you are single, and full of beauty and joy.

 

My husband has a past he's not proud of, but what helped him be happy during his healing process is studying about God and also working out. That's his passion and I really enjoy the results lol.

 

 

Yes I do believe in god and I am going to be a better person. I will prove myself to god and eventually prove my self worth to me.

I don't think you need to prove yourself to God. I do think you need to forgive yourself and accept His forgiveness. I understand about wanting to prove yourself to you, and you can. You just have to decide what you want to do and not let temptation pull you down. Sometimes that's difficult.

 

For example, I have just failed in not drinking all the chocolate almond milk sigh. I still have a long ways in self-discipline to go... to just drink one glass of chocolate almond milk at a time and not 3. Shame on me, but that just shows I have to train my mind to only drink 1 at a time, or just simply not get chocolate almond milk anymore. So, if you can pray for me about self-control in regards to my diet, I'd appreciate it. That's my weakness right now.

 

You really are so nice and as I said you don't realise how much you have comforted me.

 

I wish you so much happiness.

Thanks. I have to go now. You are in my prayers. Hugs:love:

 

With love from a friend on loveshack

[autumnnight]

No relationship is perfect, but true love thinks of the other person in the relationship instead of just oneself.

 

You believe in God? I do too! God is right there with you Star. Reach out to Him. Read Psalm 51 in the Bible and Isaiah 53, as well as the Gospel of John. You can pray for forgiveness where you are. He loves you and He is forgiving, because of His amazing grace and love.

 

I'm glad that soon you will see your family and go to church. I am sorry you feel lonely right now. I hope it helps knowing that there are people who care for you on loveshack even though we don't know you personally. I'll be praying for you.

 

True.

 

And you can. You already took the first step, by confessing to him the truth.

 

Then focus on God's love for humanity, so much that He sent Jesus Christ to save people from sin.

 

Star, please don't try to punish yourself. Please accept God's gift of forgiveness because you are mortal. People make mistakes. You're not the only one who had made a mistake. Remember King David, how he slept with Bathsheba? And he had Bathsheba's husband killed, which was worse - murder. He also didn't even confess of his own accord... God had to send prophet Nathan to convict him about it. After he was convicted, King David wrote Psalm 51. Maybe Psalm 51 will comfort you? I know it's comforted me when I sinned in the past. God forgives when we confess and repent, and you've done that. You've confessed and you are repentant.

 

If you are a Christian, Jesus Christ has paid once for all for what people who confess and repent have done.

 

I am glad you are in counseling and i hope the counselor will help you understand that you don't need to torment yourself in order to comfort him. You do need to heal from the self-inflicted wound and grow in order to be healthy.

 

You are afraid of being cheated on now? Sweetheart, people who have never cheated often get cheated on. It's not fair, but sometimes life is not fair.

:love:I am glad we can help in some way. Wish I could give you a hug.

 

Loveshack is a blessing!

Thanks

Great advice!!!

 

God is with us, even when we cannot feel His presence physically. He is there spiritually. Just reach out for Him, because He loves you.

 

Blessings Star lights, and take care. Lots of hugs

 

Star, print this post out. Keep it. Post it on your mirror.

 

These are words spoken by someone who has a TRULY Biblical understanding of redemption.

[TaraMaiden2]

Star lights, you need to read this.

 

It's a snippet from an online article, found by another member/poster.

It deals with the need some people have to apologise...

 

“Over-apologizing can stem from being too hard on ourselves or beating ourselves up for things,rather than recognizing everyone makes mistakes and no one expects you to be perfect.”

"When people harbor feelings of shame and guilt, they may apologize to elicit reassurance from others", she adds - "even if the person they’re saying sorry to hasn’t been harmed in the least by their behavior. The consequence? We risk reinforcing an erroneous belief that we’re inherently worthy of blame."

 

It is relevant to her mind-set and situation, but I think you could do to read it too.

[BetheButterfly]

Star lights,

 

I hope you're ok. I'm not going to ask how you're doing because I understand if you are still hurting. It takes time to heal. Just wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you. Please remember, don't define yourself by your past. Hugs!!!

[Star lights]

Your words meen so much right now, I can't tell you how much!

 

I had a nightmare getting home which consisted of the airline not knowing my flights had been changed so I was stuck in an airport until a seat became available and then I had one problem after the other, all I could do was laugh at myself, and cry.

 

It's been a strange and crazy week but I am home now and i have very mixed emotions but it's so comforting to feel safe.

 

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers and I really will try to remind myself that people make mistakes, I guess it is what makes us human.

 

I have stopped messaging him for now, I will give him time but I have let him know that I will wait for him and if he ever decides he would like to try again then I will be there. It's all I can do for now but as time goes on I'm understanding more that I won't get forgiveness from him and I don't actually have a right to ask, I have to learn to be okay with that.

 

There's been many tears, mainly for him and the thought of what he is feeling right now but with all the help I have received from you all has really calmed me down.

 

I'm a placid person but I also act on emotions quite easy and with having a history of suicide attempts I was very worried that I would hit that low again but you were all a god send in my time of need and I must keep my positive thoughts even when I don't want to.

 

Butterfly I would definitely love to help others in a similar situation once I've healed enough to be able to give useful advice, I will certainly be using this site to give people positive thoughts.

 

It feels so nice to be able to be myself on here because no one knows me and I can just write out all of my feelings (sorry as it is annoying for other people to listen to someone who is in pain which is caused by their own selfishness)

 

I think karma has begun to show itself already with my flight mess up but I think I can prove to karma that I won't make this mistake again so I'm hoping it will go easy on me.

 

We are all human and we all deserve second chances, and I don't mean with my ex , I don't deserve a second chance with him as much as I would like one. I mean a second chance at life and another chance to prove myself to whom ever I end up with.

 

I will be going to church first thing Sunday morning and I will be sure to offer my time to any charity events they need help with, this could be a great fresh start for me. I will have a lot of heart ache but it's nothing compared to what I have put my ex through, I just wish him the best of luck and I know that one day when he finds an amazing wife and has a beautiful family he will see that I was only a page in his book and maybe he will forgive me for the wrong I have done and he will understand that I am not a bad person, I'm just lost.

Edited July 23, 2015 by Star lights

[DKT3]

Your words meen so much right now, I can't tell you how much!

 

I had a nightmare getting home which consisted of the airline not knowing my flights had been changed so I was stuck in an airport until a seat became available and then I had one problem after the other, all I could do was laugh at myself, and cry.

 

It's been a strange and crazy week but I am home now and i have very mixed emotions but it's so comforting to feel safe.

 

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers and I really will try to remind myself that people make mistakes, I guess it is what makes us human.

 

I have stopped messaging him for now, I will give him time but I have let him know that I will wait for him and if he ever decides he would like to try again then I will be there. It's all I can do for now but as time goes on I'm understanding more that I won't get forgiveness from him and I don't actually have a right to ask, I have to learn to be okay with that.

 

There's been many tears, mainly for him and the thought of what he is feeling right now but with all the help I have received from you all has really calmed me down.

 

I'm a placid person but I also act on emotions quite easy and with having a history of suicide attempts I was very worried that I would hit that low again but you were all a god send in my time of need and I must keep my positive thoughts even when I don't want to.

 

Butterfly I would definitely love to help others in a similar situation once I've healed enough to be able to give useful advice, I will certainly be using this site to give people positive thoughts.

 

It feels so nice to be able to be myself on here because no one knows me and I can just write out all of my feelings (sorry as it is annoying for other people to listen to someone who is in pain which is caused by their own selfishness)

 

I think karma has begun to show itself already with my flight mess up but I think I can prove to karma that I won't make this mistake again so I'm hoping it will go easy on me.

 

We are all human and we all deserve second chances, and I don't mean with my ex , I don't deserve a second chance with him as much as I would like one. I mean a second chance at life and another chance to prove myself to whom ever I end up with.

 

I will be going to church first thing Sunday morning and I will be sure to offer my time to any charity events they need help with, this could be a great fresh start for me. I will have a lot of heart ache but it's nothing compared to what I have put my ex through, I just wish him the best of luck and I know that one day when he finds an amazing wife and has a beautiful family he will see that I was only a page in his book and maybe he will forgive me for the wrong I have done and he will understand that I am not a bad person, I'm just lost.

 

 

Please heed my words DO NOT LEAVE THE HOME BEFORE HE RETURNS. Doing so could make him feel like you cheated and abandoned him. Don't make decisions like this without talking to him. Don't assume you know how he will react. I had always said infidelity was a breaker, yet when the rubber hit the road I stayed 14 months looking for a reason and a way to get over it. My ex wife like you assumed I would divorce her and because of that mindset she protected herself and didn't make the effort.

 

If you want a second chance then be the best you can, be there for him. Don't run away.

[TaraMaiden2]

Just a side-note (it's a 'soap-box' topic of mine):

 

Karma.

 

Isn't a bitch.

It's not payback, justice, retribution, a swift kick up the @$s, revenge or come-uppance.

 

Karma very simply means 'Action'.

 

That's it.

 

It's volitional, deliberate, pre-meditated action.

 

And it could be a 'good' action (putting a sandwich and a warm drink by someone who's homeless) a 'bad' action )kicking the dog and causing it to yelp because you've had a bad day at work) and/or neutral (tying your shoelace and putting your coat on).

 

In Buddhism, there is furthermore, no emphasis on 'bad' or 'good.

 

We prefer to see those more along the lines of 'skilful' and UNskilful'.

 

As Shakespeare so eloquently put it,

 

...there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

(Hamlet.)

 

Kipling went one further and stated, in his universally renowned poem, 'If' -

 

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

 

Doing great? Well done. Enjoy it, this too shall pass.

Doing badly? Oh dear. Endure it, this too shall pass.

 

Bad and Good, Triumph and Disaster, all depend on our perception of things.

 

What may be awful for us, may benefit someone else.

 

Like your car breaking down. The mechanic gets to feed his family again tonight!

Everything has a consequence. Sometimes it's immediate and we see it, other times it's a bigger picture and not so easy.

 

Like your situation.

Much bad has come from it.

But much good, also.

 

Your own last posting is testimony to that.

 

Things WILL get better.... I know it still feels pretty bleak right now, but - chin up....

 

Karma is what you do, intentionally.

But remedy, remorse and at least knowing something needs to be put right, is the balance.

 

You're doing fine in that.

 

OK?

[Horton]

There is a real right and wrong that exists in spite of how we all happen to currently feel about it due to cultural trends and changing attitudes.

 

Please don't allow your natural desire to relieve yourself of your guilt alter your innate sense of right and wrong. Going to church is a good start, but if you're serious about your spiritual life you need to start studying the word of God yourself. A lot of people go to church on Sundays and still behave like human garbage every other day of the week, don't be one of those people.

Edited July 23, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[drifter777]

We are all human and we all deserve second chances, and I don't mean with my ex , I don't deserve a second chance with him as much as I would like one. I mean a second chance at life and another chance to prove myself to whom ever I end up with.

 

It is great to see a WS post something like this and prove that they understand the meaning of "second chance".