Ladies, The Smarter You Are, The More Likely You Are To Be Single

[carhill]

Ladies, The Smarter You Are, The More Likely You Are To Be Single

 

IMO, as a blanket statement, false.

Are those reasons essentially true?

Are highly intelligent women too "problematic" for most men?

OR

Are intelligent women just not settling for men who will treat her like she is his property?

Are those women in the position of wanting a man and not needing a man, so can afford to wait for the "right" man or can simply choose to stay single?

 

Intelligence is a toolbox. It can be used to build or destroy and everything in between. Each person chooses how they use their intelligence. If we deem one person 'smarter', then we're acknowledging they have a larger and more diverse toolbox. The question remains: How do they use the tools?

 

Each man is unique. Presuming heterosexual, if a woman desires a partnership with a man, she will necessarily need to employ tools to establish and maintain that partnership. If the man doesn't like how she wields her tools, then the partnership doesn't get going or ends. It's simply a meeting of the minds.

 

Personally, I prefer a woman who uses her tools to collaborate, not dominate. She can have anything from a rusty, beat up old toolbox to a SnapOn rollaway and the opinion is the same. It's what she does when she pulls out the tool that makes the difference. Another man's opinion will be uniquely his. If minds meet, they do. If not, not. To the extent that the woman does not find a mind to meet hers, she'll be single.

[elaine567]

In theory it doesn't, but in practice ... it has already started to be that.

 

You want to know what the future holds ?

70% of college students female, and more and more of them bemoaning that they have few options.

In the cases where resources are limited and production is decreasing, it is all a zero-sum game.

 

What a brave new world it is, where we think that something as insignificant in the grand flow of time (like modern pursuit of obsession with equality) can trump millions of yrs of mother nature.

Very few, truly very few ppl can dominate and control their instinctive urges in the grand scheme of things ... and that is what is needed on a grand scale for this to work.

 

Either that, or drugs.

 

OK, back into the kitchen, girls.

Not a good idea to challenge the patriarchy and dare to suggest equality.

NO GOOD will come of it.

 

Where is that cross stitch magazine?

There is a great pic in it I can make, of an elephant with a red balloon.

 

I made some pink cupcakes today, they have pink dots on white icing, and the exact same shade as my gingham apron. I will wear the pink ribbon too I found in a drawer.

I will look a pretty picture when I present them to H later. He will be pleased. Tee hee.

 

I have ironed 20 shirts today already and I am about to dead head the roses.

Oh such fun!!!

How to spot a misogynist - no 4

[Radu]

Chinese men are enforcing the rule that men marry down, not up or equal, DOWN.

They will not accept Class A women as wives as it goes against "the norm".

Class A women wanting to marry their equal hardly seems an unreasonable request to me.

Why are Chinese men determined to marry women of lesser status than themselves, I wonder?

 

It is not just Chinese men, do not focus on this.

 

You are focusing on only cases from a certain country, that's it.

You can't just magically flip a switch and immediately all the chinese males will fall in line.

Not to mention that China is a massively special case; the real power in China is 2.5 millennia of adoration of Confucius and his teachings.

 

Now from the general male perspective, i'll try to give you ... some idea of what goes through our heads.

If you are the guy, most likely when kids come around and they are small, you have to be prepared to be the sole provider.

There is very little support for families in this situation; you end up living off the fat accumulated [savings].

From when you are little there are messages all around us that you have to provide; the biggest insults i've seen hurled at men, is when they lose their jobs, that they are not being men ... for being unemployed. I know men who were divorced by their wives because of the economic crisis and having lost their jobs.

And the economic crisis hit mostly male professions where women are not barred ... but for some reason they don't seem to want to enter [construction ?].

Besides the above, there is another aspect ... it takes 2 to tango. Those same B class women could have married B class men ... why did they say yes to A-class men ?

The same for C-class, and even D.

The numbers of A-class ppl are statistically small ... the real pressure comes from lower classes ... it's like in physics, a particle may behave irrationally and to it's own pleasure, but for large quantum numbers, the laws of classic physics must be obeyed.

[Radu]

So all those years of pulling that cart like donkeys mean nothing for guys now???

 

 

See, these are the things about equality and feminism that I dont get...Its very selective in how its principles are applied...

 

TFY

 

It's because feminism is interested in giving power to women, not equality.

If they were interested in equality you would have women out there protesting in mass for more men in teaching kids in elementary schools, affirmative action for men in colleges that approach 65% female enrollment or exceed it, for more jobs in heavy combat for women, for alimony to be enforced equally, for accepting that men can be raped, and that boys are doing horribly right now in school and are not prepared for the future.

 

But they are not doing this and they will not be doing this, because it's about giving power to the group of ppl they represent.

[Radu]

OK, back into the kitchen, girls.

Not a good idea to challenge the patriarchy and dare to suggest equality.

NO GOOD will come of it.

 

Where is that cross stitch magazine?

There is a great pic in it I can make, of an elephant with a red balloon.

 

I made some pink cupcakes today, they have pink dots on white icing, and the exact same shade as my gingham apron. I will wear the pink ribbon too I found in a drawer.

I will look a pretty picture when I present them to H later. He will be pleased. Tee hee.

 

I have ironed 20 shirts today already and I am about to dead head the roses.

Oh such fun!!!

How to spot a misogynist - no 4

 

Irony disguised ad-hominem.

 

Even though i don't agree with your opinions, at least i know them and have tried to see how you see them.

If you had done the same with mine, and my posts in this thread ... i seriously you would have written the quoted.

 

Not to mention that you don't seem to understand what the word actually means [the same for the writer of the article].

[RedRobin]

I have a PhD in a technical field. My 'intelligence' has never kept me from attracting men, nor has it harmed my relationships.

 

 

A diploma is verification of competence in certain areas, and that you can complete a task. That's about it.

 

 

My fiancée never completed college and he was one of the smartest, most curious men I've ever met.

[alphamale]

the more highly educated a woman is the harder it is to find a man of equal qualification. educated men have a much easier time

[SycamoreCircle]

A diploma is verification of competence in certain areas, and that you can complete a task. That's about it.

My fiancée never completed college and he was one of the smartest, most curious men I've ever met.

I really appreciate this. More often than not, I see diplomas and titles as a way of pinning people to their own stupidity.

[BlueIris]

…

I mean, you are hearing all of the women on this thread saying essentially that guys still need to earn big or at least at their level..

 

Nope. I never said that. Nor would I, my daughters or my mother and other family members- or many of the women here. I keep saying that intelligence is a different thing, that the money and beauty equation is a set of values very separate from intelligence and intellectual pursuit and accomplishment. I know many women who married or dated men who were not high earners and are attractive in far more than the physical senses - poets, artists, musicians, teachers, writers, and… military men and other men who work for a government (did you know that they don’t earn much?). TFY, you are so stuck in the beauty and money equation, you’re not seeing a huge swath of the population.

[elaine567]

It takes 2 to tango. Those same B class women could have married B class men ... why did they say yes to A-class men ?

The same for C-class, and even D.

The numbers of A-class ppl are statistically small ... the real pressure comes from lower classes ... it's like in physics, a particle may behave irrationally and to it's own pleasure, but for large quantum numbers, the laws of classic physics must be obeyed.

 

In China, traditionally men marry down, so Class A men married Class B women, Class B men married Class C women, Class C men married Class D women, Class D men married no-one, I guess.

There were no Class A women in history, or perhaps only a few odd balls or women from high class families where marriages were arranged "in house" and I am sure Class D men were not a big issue either.

It is not the case that females choose better males to marry, it is males choosing lower class females, as per societal rules.

Along comes education for women and a one child policy.

Men still want lower class females, so are not interested in Class A females hence the "unwanted" slur.

Women in China have also grown up to expect to marry males of a higher class, so are not willing to marry down, especially not as far down as Class D which are the only males available in large numbers to Class A women with all other classes largely being spoken for.

[RedRobin]

I really appreciate this. More often than not, I see diplomas and titles as a way of pinning people to their own stupidity.

 

 

Fortunately, or unfortunately, some diplomas are actually required in order to do certain kinds of work. If you want to do that kind of work, then you have to get the piece of paper.

 

 

Noone should be 'punished' for getting the credentials they need to do work they enjoy. I don't flaunt my PhD at all, but I've had a number of people rag on me after finding out I had one. I see that as a sign of insecurity.

 

 

I think maybe people ought to ask someone why they got that diploma before they start passing judgment or assuming that the other person is necessarily going to look down on them.

[GorillaTheater]

In China, traditionally men marry down, so Class A men married Class B women, Class B men married Class C women, Class C men married Class D women, Class D men married no-one, I guess.

There were no Class A women in history, or perhaps only a few odd balls or women from high class families where marriages were arranged "in house" and I am sure Class D men were not a big issue either.

It is not the case that females choose better males to marry, it is males choosing lower class females, as per societal rules.

Along comes education for women and a one child policy.

Men still want lower class females, so are not interested in Class A females hence the "unwanted" slur.

Women in China have also grown up to expect to marry males of a higher class, so are not willing to marry down, especially not as far down as Class D which are the only males available in large numbers to Class A women with all other classes largely being spoken for.

 

It strikes me as a little problematic to divide men and women into "classes", and I'm not sure the Patriarchy is to blame for that.

 

I'm fairly patriarchal by certain standards, and I find such divisions to be a little distasteful.

[WasOtherWoman]

Fortunately, or unfortunately, some diplomas are actually required in order to do certain kinds of work. If you want to do that kind of work, then you have to get the piece of paper.

 

 

Noone should be 'punished' for getting the credentials they need to do work they enjoy. I don't flaunt my PhD at all, but I've had a number of people rag on me after finding out I had one. I see that as a sign of insecurity.

 

 

I think maybe people ought to ask someone why they got that diploma before they start passing judgment or assuming that the other person is necessarily going to look down on them.

 

HA! Education is worthless.. just ask anyone who does not have one, they will tell you

[elaine567]

It strikes me as a little problematic to divide men and women into "classes", and I'm not sure the Patriarchy is to blame for that.

 

I'm fairly patriarchal by certain standards, and I find such divisions to be a little distasteful.

 

The classes mentioned are regarding the Chinese model, read the thread.

[GorillaTheater]

The classes mentioned are regarding the Chinese model, read the thread.

 

That doesn't address my point. I'd argue that the categorization of people into such classes is flawed from the outset.

[bachdude]

I MUCH, MUCH prefer smart, career oriented women because I have been career oriented and my job is demanding in many ways

 

I have had HUGE problems being with women who are the type the article say guys want because THEY are the ones who want ME to be to be around more and be more "domestic".

 

When I have been with women who are not intelligent and career oriented they don't understand the amount of travel I need to do for my job and the amount of time I need to spend at my job.

 

It works much better for me with women who are confident, smart, independent, and have careers. We stay out of each other's way because neither of us wants the other to have a tight leash!

 

I do my thing, she does her thing, and when we see each other we reconnect and have a great time.

[elaine567]

That doesn't address my point. I'd argue that the categorization of people into such classes is flawed from the outset.

 

The "class" system is present, whether we like it or not, to deny it exists is naive.

The Chinese are obviously very aware of it, and it is not something that is non-existent in the UK either.

We like to think we are classless, but the evidence says otherwise.

Huge survey reveals seven social classes in UK - BBC News

[GorillaTheater]

The "class" system is present, whether we like it or not, to deny it exists is naive.

The Chinese are obviously very aware of it, and it is not something that is non-existent in the UK either.

We like to think we are classless, but the evidence says otherwise.

Huge survey reveals seven social classes in UK - BBC News

 

I don't wish to hijack your thread on this point beyond this post, but in my opinion the division of society into "classes" is a problem that is at least as problematic as any form of gender discrimination.

 

In either case, people are being denied opportunities based on their birth or situation. Either is unacceptable.

[Radu]

In China, traditionally men marry down, so Class A men married Class B women, Class B men married Class C women, Class C men married Class D women, Class D men married no-one, I guess.

There were no Class A women in history, or perhaps only a few odd balls or women from high class families where marriages were arranged "in house" and I am sure Class D men were not a big issue either.

It is not the case that females choose better males to marry, it is males choosing lower class females, as per societal rules.

Along comes education for women and a one child policy.

Men still want lower class females, so are not interested in Class A females hence the "unwanted" slur.

Women in China have also grown up to expect to marry males of a higher class, so are not willing to marry down, especially not as far down as Class D which are the only males available in large numbers to Class A women with all other classes largely being spoken for.

 

Then you don't understand communism and what happens throughout the history of a nation that has been communist.

 

Also, about class and UK ... UK is one of the most class-entrenched societies on the planet.

[thefooloftheyear]

Nope. I never said that. Nor would I, my daughters or my mother and other family members- or many of the women here. I keep saying that intelligence is a different thing, that the money and beauty equation is a set of values very separate from intelligence and intellectual pursuit and accomplishment. I know many women who married or dated men who were not high earners and are attractive in far more than the physical senses - poets, artists, musicians, teachers, writers, and… military men and other men who work for a government (did you know that they don’t earn much?). TFY, you are so stuck in the beauty and money equation, you’re not seeing a huge swath of the population.

 

Sorry...but I just don't see that...

 

Guys who don't earn and aren't "masters" at what they do are nothing but putz's and dickwads...I get tired of all of the women speaking highly of poets and artists....This isn't Fantasyland and the bills still come in whether these guys are sweet or not..

 

And you know what? Im fine with it...Bring it on...

 

 

 

But in fairness you really dont know me...I like to play the part of the antagonist, just to highlight hypocrisy when I see it, but don't be so quick to judge based on that...

 

TFY

[elaine567]

UK is one of the most class-entrenched societies on the planet.

 

I know, who said it wasn't?

I said it was naive to think otherwise, and provided a link to class in the UK.

[SycamoreCircle]

Guys who don't earn and aren't "masters" at what they do are nothing but putz's and dickwads...I get tired of all of the women speaking highly of poets and artists....This isn't Fantasyland and the bills still come in whether these guys are sweet or not..

 

And you know what? Im fine with it...Bring it on...

Ouch... I was just curious what would happen if you fused this with some Proust, the biggest "good-for-nothing", you might argue, out of continental Europe. Fingers crossed:

 

I lent to her face, which the gathering dusk made featureless, the mask of my most impassioned dreams of beauty, but read in her eyes as they turned towards me the horror of my own nonentity. Guys who don't earn and aren't "masters" at what they do are nothing but putz's and dickwads...I get tired of all of the women speaking highly of poets and artists....This isn't Fantasyland and the bills still come in whether these guys are sweet or not..

 

-Marcel Proust

[hotpotato]

that's not parading your smarts. Parading your smarts is noticing when other people's flaws and pointing them with your fingers. Just because you're smarter and figured out how imperfect other people are doesn't make one perfect or flawless.

 

 

That's the problem. It can come across as parading your smarts during the course of regular conversation. it's easy to come across as smarter or more capable than the guy without bragging.

 

You don't have to hide it. What you have to do is find a man interested in you or with similar interests as you. Or who finds you interesting enough to ask you questions about your passions.

 

Yes, your really should, esp in the beginning. Being smart isn't as important for women in the dating world as other things.

 

sorry to say, it's not dating, it's your man picker... like in most cases, me included.

 

Ok, really. Then where are these liberated guys who love women who emasculate them???

 

there are people who do like guns. There are people who like all sorts of things. I guess my point is to find out what's important to you, and find people / men with similar views.

 

True, and if I want to find that, I'll join a club. Really, if a guy wants all that he can do the same. Men don't need a gf or wife for that.

 

Nobody "should" do anything. I don't understand why you automatically have to play down your intelligence. I say, if you're smart, use it smartly. Understand the audience and tailor your speech accordingly, while still being yourself. And pretty nails are cute, I have mine done too

 

So basically you are saying what i'm saying, but in a different way. You can be smart, but you must be very careful of how you come across.

I certainly don't think anything is wrong with doing nails, I do mine. It's just my sarcasm.

 

there is a difference between pretending to be dumb and making other people feel dumb. It's called being tactful. See, being smart and having a healthy self esteem is not the same thing.

Well, it's easy to make other people feel dumb, and it's easy for me to emasculate most men. Hence, the walking on eggshells thing.Ok, are you trying to say I have low self esteem. Nope, I'm just keeping it real.

 

Loads of smart women - not all of 'em - overcompensating their lack of self confidence with an aggressive "I know it all, I'm smarter than you" attitude. Well, IQ is important, but it's EQ that brings one harmonious relationships around you. Plus, sometimes... sometimes... the smartest woman talking at a table isn't necessarily the smartest woman (or person) at the table.

 

No one is compensating, but that's how it gets interpreted. That's my point. You're showing my point, that a smart woman has to be careful about what she talks about, or she's a know it all or whatever. Just talking about the last book she read or what she did last night can be a landmine. Oh what did you do last weekend? Oh I went shooting, did some jiu jitsu, parkour, and boxing. That would be an honest answer (this is all hypothetical, i'm not bragging by the way before anyone goes there), but people will think she's bragging. Oh, what did you read? Oh, I read this book about Imperial Japanese Army. See, that stuff is seen as bragging, but it's just being honest. Enter the feelings of needing to walk on eggshells.

 

 

lots of women made lots of various careers. I'm not judging, whatever rocks their boat.

 

Ok so what is it...A woman doesn't need to downplay her intelligence, but EQ is the most important thing? We can't have both.

 

My response in bold.

[DJOkawari]

This is an interesting thought but I've always seen it from the opposite perspective:

 

Highly qualified people, where I'm from, are desirable. Success is sexy. They look for people who are of a certain standard to date. "I'm great, I'm going to date someone who is also great".

 

I think there are a wider variety of things that a woman can bring to the table to be considered a "great" mate than a man can. In that sense the dating pool for these successful women is much smaller. A mate who is good enough doesn't come around as often. But that's just what I've observed. Thoughts?

 

Personally, I exclusively date intelligent women, so if other guys don't want them I'm happy

Edited June 3, 2015 by DJOkawari

[alphamale]

most of the girls i've dated had a master's degree. i too find intelligence sexy as long as they're not smarter than me