Ladies, The Smarter You Are, The More Likely You Are To Be Single

[minimariah]

What if he happens to be an ambitious xBox player? Does that count?

 

no, because that's literally a waste of time -- a hobby.

in fact, i'd probably run for the hills from the ambitious gamer because that's not the type of person that would spark my interest. i need a man who will be ambitious in LIFE, not just video games. like, improving and progressing in your life, changing the world, leaving your mark, doing something that will actually help and improve the society, improving your skills, doing something memorable... playing xBox ain't it.

 

i dated a history professor once -- ambitious as hell but totally poor. i didn't mind at all, he was at that kind of profession where he couldn't earn much + still in school + had like a million interests and hobbies. i don't need a dude who is rich, i don't care about numbers at all -- but i do care about a person having some kind of direction in life, profession & wanting to be the best at it. i know it sounds idealistic but i'm like that - so i'm looking for someone similar to me because we're simply going to get along better than someone who plays xBox all day long.

 

What do you think the responses from typical women would be??

 

most would be totally okay, honestly.

women are more opened and they actually accept men's criteria & standards a lot more easier than men do.

 

i dated both men and women -- women were much more respectful for my criteria and had no problem that, for example, i refused to date someone without a college degree. men? i got crapped on just because i didn't want to date dudes shorter than 5'8.

 

so yeah, women have less problems with men's criteria than men do with women's criteria -- in my personal experience.

[Emilia]

OK, but this is about equality, not about holding up the old order with women being a bit more "equal", or a complete reversal of roles with women being in the driving seat and men being forced to jump, when she shouts, "Jump!"

 

If a woman is making a good wage and is looking for an "equal" partner, then she is not going to accept someone who is below herself in intelligence or in wage earning capacity, nor someone who far exceeds her and so she feels like a second class citizen bowing to his greater power and influence.

She is looking for an "equal", not a male bimbo to iron shirts and look good out and in the bedroom, nor a male "drudge" to look after the stuff she doesn't want to do.

She in turn, doesn't want to be turned into a trophy wife or domestic servant either.

 

I think in modern day living, inequality between partners seems to rankle, neither individual wants to feel ripped off, nor beholden.

Both states of mind cause resentment and unhappiness.

I guess true equality, addresses both concerns.

 

I don't equate intelligence with earning power. You can earn good money and not be that smart. Sales is an example, it's a process, a monkey can do it as long as it is persistent enough.

 

I've done ok financially over the years, this affords me the luxury of not worrying about a man's pay as long as I don't have to support him. Most men I've dated the last 10 years have had less money than me. It took them a little while to get used to that, in some cases, partly because I don't advertise it and they were surprised when they realised.

[SycamoreCircle]

i need a man who will be ambitious in LIFE, not just video games. like, improving and progressing in your life, changing the world, leaving your mark, doing something that will actually help and improve the society, improving your skills, doing something memorable... playing xBox ain't it.

Playing X-box, writing poetry, finding a cure for cancer, running a marathon, becoming famous...the world is changing with or without us.

[minimariah]

Playing X-box, writing poetry, finding a cure for cancer, running a marathon, becoming famous...the world is changing with or without us.

 

WE change the world. the world doesn't change without us -- humans in general. playing xbox is a personal pleasure, just like eating chocolate & playing dominos... that's a recreation. sure, there are folks who make money off of it - online poker for example.

 

but it wasn't the type of ambition i was speaking of.

[serial muse]

I'll leave it to the man himself to answer that:

 

To be fair, he was halfway around the world from his chosen victim when he said it.

 

Anyway, I don't think he sent in the spider pic because he couldn't pay his bills.

[SycamoreCircle]

I'm happy to challenge your assertion in a different thread.

[Male]

bingo.

 

i learned one thing in life -- you gotta ALWAYS be able to take care of yourself, no matter what. sh*t happens, even with the greatest and the strongest of all loves. & the best way to bounce back is to have a degree & a steady source of income.

 

Thats exactly why good women in my dating pool are hard to come by in my area. I live in suburbia/soccor mom hell. And majority of the available women married young, popped out 3-4 kids, and never went to school. Now they are all divorced, unable to support themselves or their kids properly, and are looking to date for a 2nd income rather than true love.

 

 

for me personally -- it is not about the money. it's about ambition. and usually, ambitious men are rich(er) than most. i'm super ambitious & driven and i need someone who is exactly like me. i don't really care if the man isn't earning as much as i am, as long as he has a wild curiosity & desire to move forward, to progress. but like i said, ambition is usually followed by high earnings.

 

This I dont get. I see this countless times on dating profiles of women. Its as if a guy isnt allowed to just have a job, earn a good wage, and make a good living anymore. Nowadays I constantly see women insist that guy is "driven" or "betters himself". Why? Why cant a guy just have 1 job, 1 position, and not climb the ladder? If he is financially stable then why do so many women insist that he needs to move upward and onward??

[minimariah]

Why? Why cant a guy just have 1 job, 1 position, and not climb the ladder? If he is financially stable then why do so many women insist that he needs to move upward and onward??

 

he can but that wouldn't work for me.

 

i personally -- look for someone who is close to me, similar to myself, to my personality. & i'm restless. so i'd get bored with someone who isn't as restless as i am. and in my experience, restless folks are usually driven... they constantly look, explore, search, reinvent themselves.

 

i don't care for the financial stability all that much. like, of course it's important that a dude has some kind of job and a place to live. but i need a person who is passionate about life and knowledge as much as i am -- and folks like that usually are earning a lot, on good positions etc.

 

ao i guess to answer your question - people who don't want to "better themselves" usually get boring.

[Phoe]

Sorry to play the lesbian card, but I wonder what the trends are between same sex couples? I love beautiful women, but I wouldn't choose a woman as a longterm partner based on looks alone. At the same time I wouldn't exactly be crunching numbers and evaluating her earning potential either. Maybe the whole thing - between all couples - is more complex and personally elective than we tend to want to think.

 

I agree about the complexity... and as I was reading through the responses that have been posted today, I thought more about the various reasons why smart women and an increased likelihood to be single are a statistic.

 

And naturally it all hinges around one's personal preferences, and the preferences of those that would be interested in them.

 

Some men are intimated by smart women. Some men LOVE smart women. Some men prefer a dumber woman.

 

Some women may pursue career or education first. Some women may be too picky. Some women may just be intimidating. Some may have other factors hindering them that have nothing to do with intelligence.

 

It's all a crapshoot when it comes down to it, and IMO exceptional intelligence only BARELY has a few more variables to make it any more likely to make a woman single, than any other trait.... a dumb woman still has a likelihood to struggle due to the dumbness.

 

Every trait has it's pros and cons. Intelligence is simply the one that has a few more variables swaying it statistically.

[Emilia]

 

This I dont get. I see this countless times on dating profiles of women. Its as if a guy isnt allowed to just have a job, earn a good wage, and make a good living anymore. Nowadays I constantly see women insist that guy is "driven" or "betters himself". Why? Why cant a guy just have 1 job, 1 position, and not climb the ladder? If he is financially stable then why do so many women insist that he needs to move upward and onward??

Because if you are a driven woman and the man isn't, two things will happen simultaneously: he will start getting insecure because of her relative success and she will get bored. Men are more accepting of unambitious women, perhaps because most women are passive anyway or because the women don't get envious. Men are competitive by nature and I don't think they take it well when a woman outgrows them in the hierarchy. So has been my experience.

[StanMusial]

Ladies, The Smarter You Think You Are, The More Likely You Are To Be Single

[Woggle]

Women who say men are intimidated by smart women are not much different than nice guys. Most men have no issue whatsoever dating smart women but most don't want constantly antagonistic cold hearted women with a misandrist streak and that is how many of these I'm too smart and independent for any man types come across. At the end of the day we want an equal relationship but not an antagonistic one and too many don't know the difference.

[spiderowl]

Statistically, surely it should be obvious that the more intelligent a woman is the less likely she will find a suitable partner. By simply being of high intelligence, the odds of finding someone with equivalent intelligence are much reduced. If you then start taking into consideration factors such as physical attraction, personality, life goals, sexual preferences, then, as with any other group, that would filter out some if the available 'possible' partners. Unless she's settling for a lot less than she'd be happy with, or is a serial dater, her chances of finding a long-term relationship must be much less than someone of average intelligence.

[Keenly]

In my life I've only ever met one woman (the pool is hardly large) that could challenge me intellectually, and the second she did it I was pretty much instantly attracted.

 

 

I wouldn't view a smarter woman as problematic unless she insisted on always being right about everything at all times. THAT is problematic.

 

I'd happily date a woman that made 2, 3 times as much as I did. But I care a little more about passion that intellect.

 

 

Some people say cucumbers taste better pickled.

[candie13]

Statistically, surely it should be obvious that the more intelligent a woman is the less likely she will find a suitable partner. By simply being of high intelligence, the odds of finding someone with equivalent intelligence are much reduced. If you then start taking into consideration factors such as physical attraction, personality, life goals, sexual preferences, then, as with any other group, that would filter out some if the available 'possible' partners. Unless she's settling for a lot less than she'd be happy with, or is a serial dater, her chances of finding a long-term relationship must be much less than someone of average intelligence.

 

i sort of disagree. smarter women may be more perceptive, more aware, deeper, but that doesn't make them doomed to unhappiness and spinsterhood.

 

it's the usual sense of self worth. If she's aware of her intelligence and understands herself and what she appreciates, it'll be up to her spirit of self worth to admit that she is worthy of an equally smart man (and go get him) or if she tries extrahard to fit in and ends in a dead end marriage with an average man making her miserable.

[thefooloftheyear]

Wait a minute folks....

 

 

Did women all of a sudden just crawl out from under rocks and become intelligent?

 

There aren't more intelligent women now then before..What, just because they went to university? That doesn't guarantee intelligence...Anyone knows that..And esoteric, crossword puzzle type of intelligence means shyt in the real world anyway...

 

Truth is there were dumbbell women then and smart as a tack one's then....just like there is today...In fact, I'd even argue that average women of past generations were likely more intelligent as they needed to be more resourceful and needed more survival skills..You know...real world type of stuff..

 

So, I cant say if it was easier then and not now...I think women need not worry too much about whether a guy can handle their intellect...Most can without any issue..At least from where I stand..

 

TFY

[Got it]

What if he happens to be an ambitious xBox player? Does that count?

 

I'm being facetious, but why was it AOK for women to not be so ambitious when they were being provided and dotted upon for eons? Why do guys get held to a higher standard? Aren't we all about equality?

 

I've been making 6 figures since my mid 20's...I own a ton of shyt...What if I placed an ad in OLD that stated "must be good looking. make at least as much as me and have at least as much as I have in the bank"....

 

What do you think the responses from typical women would be??

 

TFY

 

Not for me. I make about 50K more than my husband by gross income, take home pay after his expenses, alimony, child support, I am pulling in over 100K more than him.

 

I am potentially pursuing a C suite position that would put us in an area that he would love to live in and potentially without him working or in limbo on what he would do.

 

Whether or not my husband works doesn't make him less successful to me. He is successful at whatever he does and I know he could jump back in and rock it.

 

So as long as he has drive and purpose, income doesn't matter. I can provide that. Aspire to be the best whatever that is in. I just don't want to be with a Debbie Downer bump on the log. Did that and have the t-shirt. Not doing that again.

[Weezy1973]

I think we need to distinguish between intelligence and ambition. Intelligence is pretty much a non-factor because people match up in terms of intelligence (Google matching phenomenon). Most people can find someone of equal intelligence to pair up with - and most people - both men and women - want to pair up with someone of equal intelligence.

 

Ambition, on the other hand, is a different story. Women who are ambitious in their careers or education might find it more difficult, on average, to find a partner. That's because ambition, for the most part, does not play a role in a man's attraction towards a woman, whereas ambition does tend to play a role in a woman's attraction towards a man. Women do tend to be most attracted to men that are at least equal to them in terms of career success, whereas for most men it's a non factor.

 

Which means that, all things being equal, ambitious and successful men have way more women that are attracted to them than vice versa. And because they don't care about a woman's ambition, they're just as likely to pick a less ambitious woman if she has the traits he covets. Which could potentially leave a higher percentage of ambitious women single (and as many in this thread have said, they are more than happy to stay single).

 

And then of course there's the obvious point - career oriented women are more likely to prioritize their career over a relationship in the first place. There's only so much time in the day...

[Got it]

he can but that wouldn't work for me.

 

i personally -- look for someone who is close to me, similar to myself, to my personality. & i'm restless. so i'd get bored with someone who isn't as restless as i am. and in my experience, restless folks are usually driven... they constantly look, explore, search, reinvent themselves.

 

i don't care for the financial stability all that much. like, of course it's important that a dude has some kind of job and a place to live. but i need a person who is passionate about life and knowledge as much as i am -- and folks like that usually are earning a lot, on good positions etc.

 

ao i guess to answer your question - people who don't want to "better themselves" usually get boring.

 

Yes, me too. My first husband had a stable job that granted him a six figure salary. He hated it, no supervision or care how much or hard a person worked, and he has finally come to terms he is a clock puncher suckling at the government teat. Yuck. Why would I want this?

 

Sure he makes a decent living but there is no passion, no joy, just going trough the motions. I struggle to respect that based on how I view work and careers. Life is too short to punch a clock and be miserable. :sick:

 

But to each their own. He has a second wife now that is very happy with it and his guaranteed arrival everyday of 5pm.

 

To each their own.

[xxoo]

Surely smart women can figure out relationships, if they really want to.

 

Maybe smarter women are more likely to have focuses other than relationships. I suspect that is true for highly intelligent people of both sexes.

[Got it]

Surely smart women can figure out relationships, if they really want to.

 

Maybe smarter women are more likely to have focuses other than relationships. I suspect that is true for highly intelligent people of both sexes.

 

Yes look at Sheldon.

[hotpotato]

Women who say men are intimidated by smart women are not much different than nice guys. Most men have no issue whatsoever dating smart women but most don't want constantly antagonistic cold hearted women with a misandrist streak and that is how many of these I'm too smart and independent for any man types come across. At the end of the day we want an equal relationship but not an antagonistic one and too many don't know the difference.

 

Oh really...The last ex flat out called me intimudating throughout our relationship, and im sure plenty of women have had plenty of experiences. Oh and we never argued. There was no outright antagonism. He even said I was the nicest and most understanding girl he had ever dated.

 

With another guy, it took him 6 years to appreciate me being smart. He had to date other women. He said after awhile they would become boring.

 

Maybe woggle doesnt mind, but other guys do mind. Most men want to be the man in tge relationship. Most men do not want to feel dumb or useless or like their presence doewnt make a big difference.

[hotpotato]

Surely smart women can figure out relationships, if they really want to.

 

Maybe smarter women are more likely to have focuses other than relationships. I suspect that is true for highly intelligent people of both sexes.

 

Well, relationships are different from other things in life. Relationships arent linear.

 

I can see how it would be easier for someone smart to keep busy and focus on other things.

[Weezy1973]

Surely smart women can figure out relationships, if they really want to.

 

Maybe smarter women are more likely to have focuses other than relationships. I suspect that is true for highly intelligent people of both sexes.

 

But not necessarily true for highly emotionally intelligent people. Most social scientists agree that truly connecting with another human being, in the way that a monogamous, sexual relationship provides, is kind of what it's all about.

[xxoo]

But not necessarily true for highly emotionally intelligent people. Most social scientists agree that truly connecting with another human being, in the way that a monogamous, sexual relationship provides, is kind of what it's all about.

 

I would agree with them

 

I don't think intellectual intelligence alone is enough to form successful relationships, but it definitely helps.

 

The "smartest", imo, have both IQ and EQ, and really have the easiest time forming and navigating relationships.