Ladies, The Smarter You Are, The More Likely You Are To Be Single

[toolforgrowth]

I've seen this a lot, and quite frankly, I can't understand it...especially when you consider all the talk of gender equality...Can you imagine if a typical guy said this?

 

More men ARE saying this. In fact, even some women are. There are women on this very forum who have said "expect to get screwed in divorce if you marry someone who makes less than you," and they wholeheartedly agreed when I said men should never marry a woman without an income. I'd even go so far as to say a man should only marry a woman who makes as much as him or more, if he's going to get married at all.

 

Personally, I reject marriage in its entirety, regardless of who makes what.

 

I personally say this all the time. Who cares if it's not well received? Men should focus on and protect themselves first...everything else comes after that, and never at the expense of himself.

[Brigit]

More men ARE saying this. In fact, even some women are. There are women on this very forum who have said "expect to get screwed in divorce if you marry someone who makes less than you," and they wholeheartedly agreed when I said men should never marry a woman without an income. I'd even go so far as to say a man should only marry a woman who makes as much as him or more, if he's going to get married at all.

 

Personally, I reject marriage in its entirety, regardless of who makes what.

 

I personally say this all the time. Who cares if it's not well received? Men should focus on and protect themselves first...everything else comes after that, and never at the expense of himself.

 

Hey dude! You're here too? I just joined today. This forum seems a lot more open minded and female friendly than that other forum.

 

In any case, if you want women to make as much as men then you'll need to become an active feminist and work viciously with groups that are focused on getting women equal pay.

[toolforgrowth]

Hey dude! You're here too? I just joined today. This forum seems a lot more open minded and female friendly than that other forum.

 

In any case, if you want women to make as much as men then you'll need to become an active feminist and work viciously with groups that are focused on getting women equal pay.

 

Howdy! Good to see you! I like the other forum better than this one. I don't know why I keep coming here, tbh.

 

Are you sure you want to talk about the "wage gap"? And the fact that it's essentially non-existent?

[Brigit]

Howdy! Good to see you! I like the other forum better than this one. I don't know why I keep coming here, tbh.

 

Are you sure you want to talk about the "wage gap"? And the fact that it's essentially non-existent?

 

You like the other one better because it's good for those who've been betrayed but there is very little support for those who've had affairs and need help that doesn't involve rock throwing.

 

Do Men Really Earn More Than Women? - Infographic - PayScale

 

There is still a gap.

 

Also, as you know men still can't get pregnant. Women disrupt their careers to give birth to MEN's children. Sure, women can say "Having kids will ruin my life so therefore I won't get pregnant." So then you're back to the "pay a young woman who's in need of money" to have your kids argument. But that won't work either.

 

Would you buy a car that has been used as a rental?

 

Think about it.

[Lokin4AReason]

I have seen at time(s), that ones smarter than the other ( or think they are ), that they look down on that individual or person ( like not been on the same level or not as supervisor as I am kind of mind set )

 

its a shame that these people have their egos in the way in meeting a good person ( in some insistences ) w/o knowing it =0/ IMO

[BlueIris]

I am thinking some of this may be by choice...

 

While I don't necessarily consider myself "smarter than the average bear" I am an extremely high earner. To me, that greatly limited my choice in spouses. I get that is not the case for everyone, but I am just being honest.

 

I needed a spouse that out-earned me and one who did not need me or my income. There is a very limited pool of men in the 1% bracket, hence I was single (save a brief marriage in my twenties) until I was 40.

 

I do think there is truth in the article, specifically when intelligence = earning potential.

 

I agree that much of it is choice.

 

I also think that it’s similar to wealth and earning potential, but there are plenty of people who are very smart that don’t make lots of money and aren’t terribly interested in how much money someone makes or has. (Nikki Muller’s video, “I went to Princeton, B**ch” on YouTube, is a very funny take on that.) BUT! A highly intelligent woman faces a similar 1- 5% issue- a small pool to choose from if she wants a partner who’s as intelligent as she is.

 

Susan Patton’s advice letter to Princeton women a couple of years ago got hackles up but pretty much nailed it. If you want marriage and family with a partner who is similarly educated and intelligent, look while you’re in college where there is a larger pool of prospects at your fingertips. Once you leave, it takes longer because you’re looking for a rare person. So it’s more likely that you’ll be single, either for a longer time or forever.

 

As for the original post...

 

An intelligent woman is no different than a dumbell in the eyes of most men...As long as she maintains some degree of "softness" and femininity most men wont care a bit..And strong guys aren't challenged by intelligent women, strong earners, or anything else related to women..

 

I think when they get overly analytical, some guys will see that as a boner killer...

 

TFY

 

Right. The pool of prospects is even smaller because lots of intelligent women reject men who react that way to analysis- no matter how cute or rich or nice they are. So intelligent women often stay single longer as they look for the man who’s both smart and delights in who and how she is.

[toolforgrowth]

You like the other one better because it's good for those who've been betrayed but there is very little support for those who've had affairs and need help that doesn't involve rock throwing.

 

Do Men Really Earn More Than Women? - Infographic - PayScale

 

There is still a gap.

 

Also, as you know men still can't get pregnant. Women disrupt their careers to give birth to MEN's children. Sure, women can say "Having kids will ruin my life so therefore I won't get pregnant." So then you're back to the "pay a young woman who's in need of money" to have your kids argument. But that won't work either.

 

Would you buy a car that has been used as a rental?

 

Think about it.

 

Very good article. For a moment I thought you were going to state that the wage gap was $.77 for every $1 a man makes, which is a complete farce. It actually acknowledges that men and women choose different career paths.

 

The remaining 5%-7% difference in pay still exists, but there is an explanation provided for it.

[Davey L]

Is it perhaps the case that the more intelligent (or perhaps better educated - the two are not the same) are more choosy?

 

Certainly I could not tolerate being with an unintelligent woman, I would soon get bored.

[WasOtherWoman]

I've seen this a lot, and quite frankly, I can't understand it...especially when you consider all the talk of gender equality...Can you imagine if a typical guy said this?

 

I am a high earner...It wouldn't bother me if a woman made less, because quite frankly, they probably will..Guys have been carrying women, and still do, in many cases, since the dawn of creation....Heck, I know guys who are multi millionaires and have wives that are morons...And they are OK with it...But for some unknown reason, women feel like a guy isn't worthy if he doesn't make more than she does....Doesn't that fly in the face of all that is supposed to be about feminism and equality of the genders?

 

 

 

For sure it does, no doubt. But - I am in no way a feminist. My H and I have pretty traditional roles in our marriage.. I am good with that.

 

For me, in a relationship, respect is key, and power is sexy. So, my options were limited. My H, on the other hand, could care less if I work at all, but he would care if I were a moron, he detests silly women. But - he does love the soft side of me that only he sees....

[loveweary11]

.

 

I also think that it’s similar to wealth and earning potential, but there are plenty of people who are very smart that don’t make lots of money and aren’t terribly interested in how much money someone makes or has.

 

Real life example:

 

The salaries for my entire department came out at the printer at my desk back in the old Physics days.

 

The very old, close to retiring head of the entire mission had just cracked $100k. Everybody else made squat.

 

It was at that moment I decided to go make money instead of contribute to society. I was good in my role developing software and programming electronics to solve problems in physics. It was an amazing work environment and seeing something you created on the news, in space , helping understand the solar system better was job satisfaction without measure.. however...

 

I liked sailing, snowboarding, goid food,. etc. So I left it.

 

The people who stayed are perfect real life examples. Some of the most intelligent people I've ever met. Nice, creative . Cared nothing about money.

[elaine567]

Women are more educated, they can earn more and they can look after themselves, many earn enough to also look after the men in their life too, but the old traditional "rules" of marrying up being desirable, is still to the fore, I guess in most women's minds.

Women in general still do not have the confidence to marry down and BE the breadwinner, from the off.

As educated, intelligent women they are looking for top class males and many are not for accepting less - single-hood may be viewed better than making do..

OK some women end up marrying down, but I guess that was not really their ideal scenario, if they are completely honest.

Equal or up being the societal dream.

Cinderella marries the Prince, she doesn't marry the guy that cleans the stables or shines the Prince's shoes and she ends up financing him for life, does she?

 

I feel the old cultural norms are still mainly to the fore, for men and for women.

I guess as this new order of educated working women becomes more settled in and more acceptable in general, then perhaps a massive cultural shift will mean women will find it more acceptable to marry down and take the main breadwinner role and men will be more willing to accept more equal parental roles too.

[No Limit]

Well, of course it's tougher for smart women. A woman with no job or who is less intelligent is a blessing for their partner in many ways; they'll do whatever it takes to "keep" them, and if they're financially dependant on the husband all the better. Just saw a video about those poor pageant kids and after a competition in which his daughter didn't win the man said "Yeah, my wife and kids better not face me today anymore" while the wife was backstage calming down the upset daughter - of course since that guy is a multi-millionaire his wife likely doesn't mind that form of abuse because the money and life standard outweigh it, but personally I couldn't stand being around such a guy for longer than 10 minutes.

[hotpotato]

I've been told more than once that my intelligence contributed to my past inabilities to get dates or get men interested in me.

 

Whether that's true or not will remain a mystery, but it's an interesting theory.

 

The boys definitely teased and bullied me for my brains during school years, and now as an adult I am not bullied, and my intelligence is looked at as a good thing, but it may still be very intimidating. My ex used to get so mad at me if I would inadvertently use big words or start rambling about a subject he didn't understand. I got to the point where I had to walk an eggshells about every word that came out of my mouth, so as not to offend him.

 

He said I came off as a know-it-all snooty bitch and that it made him feel dumb.

 

I remember when I was younger my dad telling me I'd struggle to get boyfriends when I was older. I don't know how he could know that, how he could predict that, or what it is in me that he knew would be offputting, but damn, he was right...

 

Whatever it is, he knew I'd be a bit of an odd bird. Sometimes I still want to ask what he meant.

 

Those feels.

Being smart and capable doesn't translate to relationships the way it does for work. A lot of gurus say you have to gently ease a man into seeing you as strong.

 

I can relate to walking on eggshells thing, which is one reason I don't date much. Even answering questions like "What do you want to do this summer?" can become a landmine.

 

I've also been called weird. Oh well.

[candie13]

In other words, if you're smart woman don't talk about your interests.

 

that's not parading your smarts. Parading your smarts is noticing when other people's flaws and pointing them with your fingers. Just because you're smarter and figured out how imperfect other people are doesn't make one perfect or flawless.

 

That's one of the reasons I don't date. I don't want to have to hide it. If I'm into zoology, I'd like to talk about it.

 

You don't have to hide it. What you have to do is find a man interested in you or with similar interests as you. Or who finds you interesting enough to ask you questions about your passions.

 

sorry to say, it's not dating, it's your man picker... like in most cases, me included.

 

If I like guns, can't talk about guns. Can't talk about this or that. Idk.

there are people who do like guns. There are people who like all sorts of things. I guess my point is to find out what's important to you, and find people / men with similar views.

 

I guess if I start dating again, I should talk about more interesting and important things like Kim K's butt or getting my nails done.

Nobody "should" do anything. I don't understand why you automatically have to play down your intelligence. I say, if you're smart, use it smartly. Understand the audience and tailor your speech accordingly, while still being yourself. And pretty nails are cute, I have mine done too

 

It's all true. There's a lot of value in pretending to be dumb.

 

there is a difference between pretending to be dumb and making other people feel dumb. It's called being tactful. See, being smart and having a healthy self esteem is not the same thing.

 

Loads of smart women - not all of 'em - overcompensating their lack of self confidence with an aggressive "I know it all, I'm smarter than you" attitude. Well, IQ is important, but it's EQ that brings one harmonious relationships around you. Plus, sometimes... sometimes... the smartest woman talking at a table isn't necessarily the smartest woman (or person) at the table.

 

Women have made careers out of it

 

lots of women made lots of various careers. I'm not judging, whatever rocks their boat.

Edited June 2, 2015 by candie13

[Radu]

I always liked smarter women ... i grew up around them and i am related to them.

 

Here's the thing though, i now understand that being smart, educated, having a career is not flying against being feminine just like none of those things fly against being masculine.

 

I started realizing this thing when i saw a lecturer at my college; very feminine woman.

Pencil skirt, light heels (no more than 1 inch), soft cotton dress, with obvious feminine patters.

Simple colors, a nice smile, svelte, can say no just as easily she can say yes, astute in her field, long chestnut hair to the middle of her back.

She smiles, she is not aggressive, but she can put her position forward, she many times prefers to say good things for good things, nothing for neutral and rarely says bad things ... though when she does they are very well argumented.

As far back as i asked, in 10yrs of working there she has never come in pants.

 

I found out about her situation [home one] and i honestly cannot say she is the type i would want ... it would be a disaster, but in terms of looks i understand now that femininity and a career are not mutually exclusive.

 

I would also like to say that as much as it is the job of women to make men wanted and needed [even if it is for something they could do themselves], it is also the job of men to make women understand that they are appreciated, to show them that we treasure and give massive positive marks to their femininity without considering them less/more of an equal.

Hopefully one day all ppl will understand this.

[Got it]

I need an equal but it is more than book smarts, it is common sense smart. And THAT tends to only be in a small percent.

 

My husband loves my intelligence, my career, and that he doesn't have to shoulder things alone.

 

I love that he is very smart, is amazing with people, and funny.

 

I am not sure if it has been an issue. I was only interested in men with similar approaches to work, life, and politics so that narrowed them down quite a bit. Salary alone is not a factor.

[thefooloftheyear]

Women are more educated, they can earn more and they can look after themselves, many earn enough to also look after the men in their life too, but the old traditional "rules" of marrying up being desirable, is still to the fore, I guess in most women's minds.

Women in general still do not have the confidence to marry down and BE the breadwinner, from the off.

As educated, intelligent women they are looking for top class males and many are not for accepting less - single-hood may be viewed better than making do..

OK some women end up marrying down, but I guess that was not really their ideal scenario, if they are completely honest.

Equal or up being the societal dream.

Cinderella marries the Prince, she doesn't marry the guy that cleans the stables or shines the Prince's shoes and she ends up financing him for life, does she?

 

I feel the old cultural norms are still mainly to the fore, for men and for women.

I guess as this new order of educated working women becomes more settled in and more acceptable in general, then perhaps a massive cultural shift will mean women will find it more acceptable to marry down and take the main breadwinner role and men will be more willing to accept more equal parental roles too.

 

 

I agree with just about all of this post...The only thing I think that doesnt quite hold is that no matter how intelligent or educated a woman may be, if she is a dog, then she isn't gonna get a shot at top tier type of guys..Those guys will gladly trade brains for beauty in just about every case..Ive seen it a thousand times...

 

This is one area where men and women differ..>Ive seen high earning and successful butt-ugly men pull gorgeous women.....but never once seen it the other way around...

 

TFY

[WasOtherWoman]

 

I would also like to say that as much as it is the job of women to make men wanted and needed [even if it is for something they could do themselves], it is also the job of men to make women understand that they are appreciated, to show them that we treasure and give massive positive marks to their femininity without considering them less/more of an equal.

Hopefully one day all ppl will understand this.

 

Well said. And being a successful woman does NOT mean having to wear pant suits... blech.

 

I always dress like a woman AND am treated like a woman by men in the working world. This means, they hold doors for me, etc.

[BlueIris]

I agree with just about all of this post...The only thing I think that doesnt quite hold is that no matter how intelligent or educated a woman may be, if she is a dog, then she isn't gonna get a shot at top tier type of guys..Those guys will gladly trade brains for beauty in just about every case..Ive seen it a thousand times...

 

This is one area where men and women differ..>Ive seen high earning and successful butt-ugly men pull gorgeous women.....but never once seen it the other way around...

 

TFY

 

You’re mixing scales. Wealth and intelligence are two different scales. There’s some overlap, but there is overlap of many different scales.

 

I’ve seen many intelligent and intellectual couples in which the man is better looking by society’s standards.

[candie13]

Well said. And being a successful woman does NOT mean having to wear pant suits... blech.

 

I always dress like a woman AND am treated like a woman by men in the working world. This means, they hold doors for me, etc.

 

yeah... question is, do they pay you as much as them ?!? I can hold my own doors.

 

I've read this article - terrible thing, really - that said that women wearing suits (suits closer to male ones) are immediately judged as more trustworthy and competent, during an interview - jobs in companies. I'm not saying that women should dress like men, but if you want to be taken seriously, you should behave and dress accordingly. I'm sure men aren't crazy about wearing shirts, jackets and ties everyday, but man, they create a certain impression at the office.

 

I don't have the answer to that one, still figuring it out.

[candie13]

I agree with just about all of this post...The only thing I think that doesnt quite hold is that no matter how intelligent or educated a woman may be, if she is a dog, then she isn't gonna get a shot at top tier type of guys..Those guys will gladly trade brains for beauty in just about every case..Ive seen it a thousand times...

 

This is one area where men and women differ..>Ive seen high earning and successful butt-ugly men pull gorgeous women.....but never once seen it the other way around...

 

TFY

 

lol, that is one stunt you're trying to pull, TFY. Smarts are not the only thing one needs, to get into the best gene pool, I concur. But for sure, one cannot make it there without it. Not for long, anyway .

[Robert Z]

Women are more educated, they can earn more and they can look after themselves, many earn enough to also look after the men in their life too, but the old traditional "rules" of marrying up being desirable, is still to the fore, I guess in most women's minds.

Women in general still do not have the confidence to marry down and BE the breadwinner, from the off.

As educated, intelligent women they are looking for top class males and many are not for accepting less - single-hood may be viewed better than making do..

OK some women end up marrying down, but I guess that was not really their ideal scenario, if they are completely honest.

Equal or up being the societal dream.

Cinderella marries the Prince, she doesn't marry the guy that cleans the stables or shines the Prince's shoes and she ends up financing him for life, does she?

 

I feel the old cultural norms are still mainly to the fore, for men and for women.

I guess as this new order of educated working women becomes more settled in and more acceptable in general, then perhaps a massive cultural shift will mean women will find it more acceptable to marry down and take the main breadwinner role and men will be more willing to accept more equal parental roles too.

 

 

There was something about this that I read recently. While women have made great strides in finding income and status equality, their expectations for marrying up haven't changed. So by definition the pool of men they find satisfactory is shrinking.

 

 

In short, women tend to want it both ways.

[thefooloftheyear]

lol, that is one stunt you're trying to pull, TFY. Smarts are not the only thing one needs, to get into the best gene pool, I concur. But for sure, one cannot make it there without it. Not for long, anyway .

 

I dunno....

 

Don't ever underestimate the power of a tight ass and a set of DD's..I've seen some dumbass women take it all the way to the top of the mountain...

 

 

TFY

[jen1447]

Show off...

 

Mind you I hate to point it out but it is women you are pulling not men... So that would suggest that you have it sussed out pretty well.

 

You make an excellent point ....so does that mean I'm one of the smart ones? Yay!

[WasOtherWoman]

yeah... question is, do they pay you as much as them ?!? I can hold my own doors.

 

I've read this article - terrible thing, really - that said that women wearing suits (suits closer to male ones) are immediately judged as more trustworthy and competent, during an interview - jobs in companies. I'm not saying that women should dress like men, but if you want to be taken seriously, you should behave and dress accordingly. I'm sure men aren't crazy about wearing shirts, jackets and ties everyday, but man, they create a certain impression at the office.

 

I don't have the answer to that one, still figuring it out.

 

Considering about 95% of the country earns less than I do, yes, I would say that in general, they pay me more than the men.

 

And, I still expect them to hold doors for me, it is just good manners. I never said I don't wear suits, I just don't choose to wear pant suits. A woman need not look and act like a man in the business world.