Throwing in the Towel

[I_Squared_R]

Sure, but then they shouldn't complain when old friends turn their backs on them because not everyone is spineless enough to tolerate repeated disrespect, intended or not. When his GF broke up with him, should I have just gone over to him and say "What's wrong with you, not even able to keep a girl tough guy? Loser!" because we're "such great pals who are always honest with each other"?

 

But I do agree that at least he got female interest; so OP, let it be said to you by a person who helped a buddy get through that transformation - be an ass, and the ladyworld will greet you with open arms.

 

I spent years of inaction when it came to dating. Whether you are seeking it or not is irrelevant. Seeking is better than not.

 

What is more relevant is how much money you are, and how you portray that money. I can't believe people still contest truth here. Some people still believe in fairy tales I guess.

[No Limit]

What is more relevant is how much money you are, and how you portray that money. I can't believe people still contest truth here. Some people still believe in fairy tales I guess.

 

Well, that I won't deny. Anyone who feels like doing a self-experiment - get a suit, a golden watch, put some gel in your hair and put on some eau de cologne. If you don't have a fancy car, book a room in a hotel and go there with a little suitcase - this way you can just say you flew here from pick-a-place. OP, if you want results fast - that's the path to success.

[fireflywy]

Four words....

 

Japanese AI Sex Robots.

 

Lol

[No Limit]

Four words....

 

Japanese AI Sex Robots.

 

Lol

 

"press 8 for squirting"

[I_Squared_R]

This is 100% true. I am generally a very casual guy. When you see me out, I usually wear a nice T shirt and some shorts. Nothing special. I do own a few suits, and I sometimes wear a suit when I go to the office. Not always, because I don't find them very comfortable. Every single time I wear the suit, I have noticed people in public treat me better than normal. Appearances are very important.

 

It is sad to see when people cherish financial value and lust over integrity.

Just turn on the tv. Multimedia corporations cater to the media consumers. They supply what people value/cherish and that is sex, lust, and money. A rich man gets a sex change and he is loved/hated for it. Some poor man donates all of his money/time to the better good of thing and no one gives a ****.

 

When I watch TV it is Southpark or the Daily Show with Jon Stewart because the scripts of those shows are the only thing I can relate to and understand.

[ZA Dater]

There is a lot of interesting conjecture in this thread but I think people often don't full understand why people end up feeling the way the OP does.

 

Normally one goes through life, there are ups and downs, this seems to be the normal flow of life and you take the good with the bad, the good keeps you going and the bad keeps you learning to enjoy the good more.

 

However, in dating its possible to just have near continuous bad, the issue here is as humans we are not designed to be loners, even the coldest of us desires some affection and human communication. Continuous bad just leads to a total drop in confidence, a cynical view and other less than desirable traits.

 

Who is to blame for the bad, well often I read here "social skills", I refuse to believe that is the be all and end all of things, statistics would possibly lead some weight to my opinion, there are a multitude of very nice guys who simply get nowhere.

 

Besides my own issues I feel a great deal of sympathy for the guys on here who give up because few people understand how hard it is to resign yourself to the fact you wont ever get what you want.

[Justanaverageguy]

1. 
   

There is a lot of interesting conjecture in this thread but I think people often don't full understand why people end up feeling the way the OP does.

 

Normally one goes through life, there are ups and downs, this seems to be the normal flow of life and you take the good with the bad, the good keeps you going and the bad keeps you learning to enjoy the good more.

 

However, in dating its possible to just have near continuous bad, the issue here is as humans we are not designed to be loners, even the coldest of us desires some affection and human communication. Continuous bad just leads to a total drop in confidence, a cynical view and other less than desirable traits.

 

Who is to blame for the bad, well often I read here "social skills", I refuse to believe that is the be all and end all of things, statistics would possibly lead some weight to my opinion, there are a multitude of very nice guys who simply get nowhere.

 

Besides my own issues I feel a great deal of sympathy for the guys on here who give up because few people understand how hard it is to resign yourself to the fact you wont ever get what you want.

 

I think everyone gets how the OP feels - because nearly everyone has had that view at some point in their life. The thing is I feel zero sympathy for anyone who does actually just throw in the towel.

 

I feel admiration for those who fail repeatedly - but continue to try and look within and keep working on themselves, bettering themselves and expanding their comfort zone to become better people to get what they want. I think everyone understands why the OP wants to give up. We all know that the dating game can be a mine field. But if you quit you lose. You never get what you want or desire. So whats the point in that ?

 

I don't believe that money is required to get a good quality woman .... in fact often the reverse can be true. But if you believe that you need money ...... then simply make more of it. You'll find out those with money often have the same problems you do. Someone always has more.

Edited June 17, 2015 by Justanaverageguy

[ZA Dater]

I think everyone gets how the OP feels - because nearly everyone has had that view at some point in their life. The thing is I feel zero sympathy for anyone who does actually just throw in the towel.

 

I feel admiration for those who fail repeatedly - but continue to try and look within and keep working on themselves, bettering themselves and expanding their comfort zone to become better people to get what they want. I think everyone understands why the OP wants to give up. We all know that the dating game can be a mine field. But if you quit you lose. You never get what you want or desire. So whats the point in that ?

 

I don't believe that money is required to get a good quality woman .... in fact often the reverse can be true. But if you believe that you need money ...... then simply make more of it. You'll find out those with money often have the same problems you do. Someone always has more.

 

That's really big of you to feel no sympathy but when something make you feel as unhappy as constantly pursuing people who reject you is it not better to throw in the towel and get rid of that unhappiness?

 

For one I am pretty tired of the old trotted out "bettering themselves and becoming better people to get what they want" why can someone simply not be themselves and get what they want as opposed to having to transform into something society deems fit for purpose.

 

There are a great many very nice guys out there who should do better at dating but don't simply because they refuse to conform to some universal standard.

 

For many its just better to give up and be happier than being continuously unhappy due to being the nice guy and getting rejected each and every time.

 

If its someone who has had some success in the past then yes perhaps carry on but if being you only gives rejection then you choose, either be someone false and MAYBE get something you like or MAYBE not or you chose to you and happy with who you are but lonely.

 

The way I see it those are the choices.

[Justanaverageguy]

That's really big of you to feel no sympathy but when something make you feel as unhappy as constantly pursuing people who reject you is it not better to throw in the towel and get rid of that unhappiness?

 

For one I am pretty tired of the old trotted out "bettering themselves and becoming better people to get what they want" why can someone simply not be themselves and get what they want as opposed to having to transform into something society deems fit for purpose.

 

There are a great many very nice guys out there who should do better at dating but don't simply because they refuse to conform to some universal standard.

 

For many its just better to give up and be happier than being continuously unhappy due to being the nice guy and getting rejected each and every time.

 

 

Why can someone not simply be themselves and get what they want ? Haha because then there would be absolutely no point to living at all would there. If I could just be born perfect with everything I ever wanted or needed then there would be no requirement for me to do anything. No requirement for growth. No requirement to actually live life. I could just sit down. Have everything and be content. How very ****ing boring that would be.

 

You think that by simply "giving up" you can free yourself from unhappiness. That is not the way it works. Giving up trying to get something does not mean you have lost the desire to have it. It does not remove the unhappiness. It is like the Buddist saying. All suffering is caused by desire. You can free yourself from suffering by freeing yourself from all desire. Sounds simple right. But this is not a rule - it is meant as a life lesson. Because sooner or later the student realizes that by trying to give up all desires he has now started to desire .... not to desire. He is chasing his tale. The lesson is you cannot give up desire - just as you cannot give up suffering. It is not possible. They go together. That is the first lesson to living a full life.

 

So giving up is acceptance of being forever unhappy. Who wants that ? Get back on the horse buddy the path to happiness lies over that wall you are staring at.

[I_Squared_R]

Why can someone not simply be themselves and get what they want ? Haha because then there would be absolutely no point to living at all would there. If I could just be born perfect with everything I ever wanted or needed then there would be no requirement for me to do anything. No requirement for growth. No requirement to actually live life. I could just sit down. Have everything and be content. How very ****ing boring that would be.

 

You think that by simply "giving up" you can free yourself from unhappiness. That is not the way it works. Giving up trying to get something does not mean you have lost the desire to have it. It does not remove the unhappiness. It is like the Buddist saying. All suffering is caused by desire. You can free yourself from suffering by freeing yourself from all desire. Sounds simple right. But this is not a rule - it is meant as a life lesson. Because sooner or later the student realizes that by trying to give up all desires he has now started to desire .... not to desire. He is chasing his tale. The lesson is you cannot give up desire - just as you cannot give up suffering. It is not possible. They go together. That is the first lesson to living a full life.

 

So giving up is acceptance of being forever unhappy. Who wants that ? Get back on the horse buddy the path to happiness lies over that wall you are staring at.

 

I never gave up nor will I ever. My energy is being shifted into things that are guaranteed returns. Why should I invest in something that my success rate is effectively zero? Consider this financially and mathematically - would you invest your resources into a corporation that was doomed to fail? Absolutely not! You would relocate those resources to something that was guaranteed more success. I have invested far too many resources into a failing cause. I have done a short sale and I lost a lot of my dignity and confidence in the process. The financial markets are just as cut throat as dating and being a nice guy doesn't help you win. I had cut my losses and invested into my career instead and the returns seem VERY promising.

 

I left the dating scene with a bit of irritability towards people and songs that claim "love". It is something that doesn't exist in my mind. It's something as mysterious as the idea of theology or the supernatural. And it's bull****. I figure it's some kind of mental, psychological response for wanting to own and hold on to someone. Maybe it's my environment, but I have yet to see one meaningful relationship that doesn't involve things like polygamy or mistrust.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

That's why I often feel women have it easy in dating when they are young, like teens and 20's

[ZA Dater]

I never gave up nor will I ever. My energy is being shifted into things that are guaranteed returns. Why should I invest in something that my success rate is effectively zero? Consider this financially and mathematically - would you invest your resources into a corporation that was doomed to fail? Absolutely not! You would relocate those resources to something that was guaranteed more success. I have invested far too many resources into a failing cause. I have done a short sale and I lost a lot of my dignity and confidence in the process. The financial markets are just as cut throat as dating and being a nice guy doesn't help you win. I had cut my losses and invested into my career instead and the returns seem VERY promising.

 

I left the dating scene with a bit of irritability towards people and songs that claim "love". It is something that doesn't exist in my mind. It's something as mysterious as the idea of theology or the supernatural. And it's bull****. I figure it's some kind of mental, psychological response for wanting to own and hold on to someone. Maybe it's my environment, but I have yet to see one meaningful relationship that doesn't involve things like polygamy or mistrust.

 

Why can someone not simply be themselves and get what they want ? Haha because then there would be absolutely no point to living at all would there. If I could just be born perfect with everything I ever wanted or needed then there would be no requirement for me to do anything. No requirement for growth. No requirement to actually live life. I could just sit down. Have everything and be content. How very ****ing boring that would be.

 

You think that by simply "giving up" you can free yourself from unhappiness. That is not the way it works. Giving up trying to get something does not mean you have lost the desire to have it. It does not remove the unhappiness. It is like the Buddist saying. All suffering is caused by desire. You can free yourself from suffering by freeing yourself from all desire. Sounds simple right. But this is not a rule - it is meant as a life lesson. Because sooner or later the student realizes that by trying to give up all desires he has now started to desire .... not to desire. He is chasing his tale. The lesson is you cannot give up desire - just as you cannot give up suffering. It is not possible. They go together. That is the first lesson to living a full life.

 

So giving up is acceptance of being forever unhappy. Who wants that ? Get back on the horse buddy the path to happiness lies over that wall you are staring at.

 

I think you totally misconstrued my post in its entirety. You can improve the way you do things but who you are is who you are, you cannot fundamentally change a personality, that is what I was inferring.

 

Its actually really easy to give up desire, hit your head against a metaphorical wall often enough and the desire soon wanes. For me its been quite easy to walk away, would I have liked differently yes of course but I am not going to go around chasing people being rejected and hating myself and feeling miserable for weeks afterward, not to mention feeling totally worthless.

 

I can avoid all of that by simply not pursuing to begin with. As the OP mentions above, its about returns and really for me and others the returns just haven't been there, there have been very few real tangible crumbs of "ok she likes me lets go forward". Had I seen some sort of return in the last 15 or so years I would be motived to continue but there just have not been any at all.

[I_Squared_R]

I think you totally misconstrued my post in its entirety. You can improve the way you do things but who you are is who you are, you cannot fundamentally change a personality, that is what I was inferring.

 

Its actually really easy to give up desire, hit your head against a metaphorical wall often enough and the desire soon wanes. For me its been quite easy to walk away, would I have liked differently yes of course but I am not going to go around chasing people being rejected and hating myself and feeling miserable for weeks afterward, not to mention feeling totally worthless.

 

I can avoid all of that by simply not pursuing to begin with. As the OP mentions above, its about returns and really for me and others the returns just haven't been there, there have been very few real tangible crumbs of "ok she likes me lets go forward". Had I seen some sort of return in the last 15 or so years I would be motived to continue but there just have not been any at all.

 

I have seen you post here quite alot lately. Are you sure you have quit desire? Or are you more attracted to the issue in itself? I think this forum has useless advice for guys like us that have been unsuccessful in dating. Alot of people here are optimistic or are quite successful in dating. Some of us fall somewhere between those spectrums where we can't quite relate with either. I don't know why I feel the necessity to check this thread as much as I do because I am not optimistic that anything will change. I don't want to argue that this is a personal problem since it is a societal problem.

 

I am not talking about society having an injustice in dating, but in interpersonal connections in general. I do my best to be a genuine person, but I cannot say the same for many others. Genuine people are few and far between. It isn't difficult either - it just requires that you respect and be honest to others. We are in a world that is so closely connected through the internet and we still have areas in the world that you have to worry about getting blown apart because your views are different from someone else. Have you ever wondered why people judge each other so harshly based on their political views, their looks, their money etc.?? All things that in the scheme of things is unimportant.

[ZA Dater]

I have seen you post here quite alot lately. Are you sure you have quit desire? Or are you more attracted to the issue in itself? I think this forum has useless advice for guys like us that have been unsuccessful in dating. Alot of people here are optimistic or are quite successful in dating. Some of us fall somewhere between those spectrums where we can't quite relate with either. I don't know why I feel the necessity to check this thread as much as I do because I am not optimistic that anything will change. I don't want to argue that this is a personal problem since it is a societal problem.

 

I am not talking about society having an injustice in dating, but in interpersonal connections in general. I do my best to be a genuine person, but I cannot say the same for many others. Genuine people are few and far between. It isn't difficult either - it just requires that you respect and be honest to others. We are in a world that is so closely connected through the internet and we still have areas in the world that you have to worry about getting blown apart because your views are different from someone else. Have you ever wondered why people judge each other so harshly based on their political views, their looks, their money etc.?? All things that in the scheme of things is unimportant.

 

Very good post. For me the perspectives here are interesting as are the opinions. In the above you mirror a great many of my feelings, particularly the second paragraph.

 

It is very much in my opinion a problem related to society, on that I totally agree.

 

As for me, I am basically at peace with not having what I want, the investments I made haven't brought about any tangible returns, if I need to be false to get someone than I would rather not bother to be honest.

 

Quit for me happened when what should have been a win turned into a massive disappointment. I then tried to friend zone and got rejected at that too, which arguably hurt more.

 

At the end of the day hoping and trying to find someone I liked was a massive waste of time, usually made my unhappy, frustrated and irritable when I simply could not find anyone or what I did like didn't like me and what I didn't like did, that for me was just frustrating beyond belief.

 

You know what since giving up I am calmer, not irritated and less frustrated.

 

Do I wish I could be kissed by someone I like, have the physical thing with that person, buy them gifts, take them to dinner, sit and talk for hours. Sure I wish I could do all of those things but past experience has shown me what I like simply doesn't seem to be attainable and its simply easier for me to live in the past and reminisce on the one good experience I did have.

[Justanaverageguy]

I think you totally misconstrued my post in its entirety. You can improve the way you do things but who you are is who you are, you cannot fundamentally change a personality, that is what I was inferring.

 

Its actually really easy to give up desire, hit your head against a metaphorical wall often enough and the desire soon wanes.

 

And I believe that you fundamentally can. That is what living is for. To change who you are ..... ideally into something better but you get to choose. The caterpillar into the butterfly or the ugly duckling into the swan ideally. You can treat that as physical metaphor if you want and go to the gym, buy better clothes but I mean more so internally. Personal development and expanding your capabilities and your comfort zone.

 

Also you have not given up your desire. You said so yourself below that you hadn't. All you have done is supress it through a poorly constructed web of fear disguised as rationalization. It doesn't matter. I got no return on my investment so its not worth it. etc etc. But the heart does not listen to rational thought. I assure you that web will dissolve and that desire will pop its little head out again the next time a pretty single girl joins your group. If not it will gradually build up over time until it breaks out of the web on its own. The heart wants what the heart wants.

 

So the choice is pretend that the desire doesn't exist and deal with the endless torment. Or acknowledge it does and accept that it always will. Then go from there.

Edited June 17, 2015 by Justanaverageguy

[ZA Dater]

And I believe that you fundamentally can. That is what living is for. To change who you are ..... ideally into something better but you get to choose. The caterpillar into the butterfly or the ugly duckling into the swan ideally. You can treat that as physical metaphor if you want and go to the gym, buy better clothes but I mean more so internally. Personal development and expanding your capabilities and your comfort zone.

 

Also you have not given up your desire. You said so yourself below that you hadn't. All you have done is supress it through a poorly constructed web of fear disguised as rationalization. It doesn't matter. I got no return on my investment so its not worth it. etc etc. But the heart does not listen to rational thought. I assure you that web will dissolve and that desire will pop its little head out again the next time a pretty single girl joins your group. If not it will gradually build up over time until it breaks out of the web on its own. The heart wants what the heart wants.

 

So the choice is pretend that the desire doesn't exist and deal with the endless torment. Or acknowledge it does and accept that it always will. Then go from there.

 

True apart from one thing I think with my brain and not with my heart, so yes its quite easy to not want things. I don't see life as a game of changing who you are, its about enjoying the scenery around oneself and if one finds a walking partner great but the reality is millions don't.

 

 

Trust me I have no torment at all at quitting, none at all, in fact I am less worried and less stressed now that I know I have zero prospects.

 

 

At the end of the day I can say I tried and that's all that matters, the fact that trying was such a totally demoralizing, fruitless, frustrating process is besides the point.

 

 

Do I regret not being what people apparently like, yes I do but that's life. I am not changing my personality to something I fundamentally am not in the great hope it will appeal to somebody when the chances of winning the lottery are great than that happening.

 

 

Where you are right is the heart wants what it wants but in my case I cant have it so its best to move on to other spheres of life.

[I_Squared_R]

True apart from one thing I think with my brain and not with my heart, so yes its quite easy to not want things. I don't see life as a game of changing who you are, its about enjoying the scenery around oneself and if one finds a walking partner great but the reality is millions don't.

 

 

Trust me I have no torment at all at quitting, none at all, in fact I am less worried and less stressed now that I know I have zero prospects.

 

 

At the end of the day I can say I tried and that's all that matters, the fact that trying was such a totally demoralizing, fruitless, frustrating process is besides the point.

 

 

Do I regret not being what people apparently like, yes I do but that's life. I am not changing my personality to something I fundamentally am not in the great hope it will appeal to somebody when the chances of winning the lottery are great than that happening.

 

 

Where you are right is the heart wants what it wants but in my case I cant have it so its best to move on to other spheres of life.

 

I totally agree with your beginning paragraph. There is a class of two thinkers and it's even more evident when browsing this forum. You have the classical and the romantic. The classical(s) tend to think more mathematically and calculated while the romantic(s) think more abstractly in terms of love and destiny.

 

I got a decent laugh when I read a post about some woman who wondered why her significant other wouldn't open up to her and talk about "deep" issues. That is the collision of classical and romantic. Her being romantic and him being classical. "Deep" issues to him are technical or political. Deep issues for her are how we feel inside. I think that often we forget to understand or acknowledge the polarities of personal thought.

 

I identify with deeply classical. Perhaps a little to the extreme. What made that woman's post so humorous to me is because (if I remember right), her boyfriend/husband had the same occupation as me! It came as no surprise to me.

 

ZA Dater, I assume that you are also quite classical from your posts. A few posts of yours back you talked about reminiscing about things that "could've been" with some woman. That comment of yours really annoyed the crap out of me. My friend, you shouldn't be reminiscing about stuff that brings you down. Life has much more to offer than some crappy .02 cent bitch that sought to take you down. These people do want you to succeed, but not better than themselves.

[LookAtThisPOst]

True apart from one thing I think with my brain and not with my heart, so yes its quite easy to not want things. I don't see life as a game of changing who you are, its about enjoying the scenery around oneself and if one finds a walking partner great but the reality is millions don't.

 

Right...actually, why change who you are? If you do, then it'll mess it up because if a woman that would have liked you for you who are BEFORE you decided to change things about yourself had come around, she wouldn't have liked you.

[elaine567]

Life has much more to offer than some crappy .02 cent bitch that sought to take you down. These people do want you to succeed, but not better than themselves.

 

This is where I despair on these type of threads, this was not "some crappy .02 cent bitch" that sought to take him down.

This was a girl he took out for one date and she decided she didn't want to go on another, which she is perfectly entitled to do. Happens every day.

Derogatory comments re women I guess is part of the problem.

If someone basically does not like women, how are they going to attract them?

 

(I am not directing this at you ZA Dater, as I have not felt the same vibe from you, re women.)

[I_Squared_R]

This is where I despair on these type of threads, this was not "some crappy .02 cent bitch" that sought to take him down.

This was a girl he took out for one date and she decided she didn't want to go on another, which she is perfectly entitled to do. Happens every day.

Derogatory comments re women I guess is part of the problem.

If someone basically does not like women, how are they going to attract them?

 

(I am not directing this at you ZA Dater, as I have not felt the same vibe from you, re women.)

 

Actually all of my friends are women and I do like women (hell thats what happens when every woman puts you in the friend zone!). It's usually women first to understand that they are the most cynical. In fact you are quite cynical yourself! Oh the irony. Look at it this way.. ZA Dater gets some passive aggressive advice from someone ABOUT a situation in which a woman caused him some grief. Here you come to shake the conversation into how HE was the problem for what had occurred to him. Elaine - whether you like it or not - if you're not with him - then you are against him. That is why she inadvertently took him down. She impacted him negatively.

 

Elaine the only contribution you have to this thread is to pop in once in a while and yell "foul!".

 

What the hell is a "re woman" is that feminist lingo?

Edited June 17, 2015 by I_Squared_R

[lana-banana]

So Elaine suggested people talking about women as bitches may be misogynistic and contribute to their lack of success with women (while specifically pointing out she didn't think ZA Dater had that problem), and the response was...she can't contribute? Oh, those crazy women, thinking they can talk with the men! Am I right, guys?

 

"Re" is an abbreviation meaning "regarding", or "as regards to". Yes, it would have helped had she used the colon, but I think the vast majority of the literate population understood she meant "re: women" based on reading in context.

 

This thread interests me because I know a guy who seems to be following this path. He hasn't gotten past the third date or been laid in nearly a year. I don't blame him for being a little bitter, but I don't think he realizes how his bitterness and loneliness is just making things worse. He resists all suggestions of therapy. He won't get a dating coach or talk to other female friends for advice. He talks about being a foreveralone, dying alone, and how all he needs is a relationship to be happy. He refuses to acknowledge the possibility that the women he dates can sense this desperation and his increasing depression. If I even mention my boyfriend in a sentence he yells at me about being insensitive to his feelings. I don't know what to do anymore.

[elaine567]

What the hell is a "re woman" is that feminist lingo?

 

re

preposition - concerning, about, regarding, respecting, with regard to, on the subject of, in respect of, with reference to.

[jay1983]

Meh I know lots of guys who call women bitches and well with them, it happens all the time in the not PC real world.

 

I didn't know what re meant either, I just learned what SMH meant the other day.

[I_Squared_R]

It is a bit radical to make the assumption that someone is a misogynist because of using the word "bitch". If you had called me a dick, I would never make the assumption that you are a man hater. Elaine wasn't contributing anything to the thread by calling me out as a misogynist and reasoning that ZA Dater shouldn't be upset that a woman had caused him grief.

 

I have never in my life seen someone use "re" as an abbreviation. Actually Elaine had me thinking of "re" as a latin prefix that means "again and again". I had thought that this was some new lingo that I wasn't aware of yet. Just about ALL of the literate population knows that latin prefixes are very popular in the English language.

 

Lana-banana - it sounds like your friend needs a hobby. It's better for him to be preoccupied with something that he can be passionate about rather than feel sorry for himself. I have a ton of hobbies that keep me passionate, determined, and happy. The bad part about my hobbies are they are very expensive ones, but when you enjoy as much as I do, cost is irrelevant.

[LookAtThisPOst]

talk to other female friends for advice.

 

Actually, dating advice from women would actually be a disadvantage as a lot aren't even good at taking their own advice.