ZA Dater Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Oh come on bro, you wouldn't be making tough guy who's alone against the elements posts if you were truely done with love. Keep hanging in there. I think the reality hurts quite a bit when you realise its over. Link to post Share on other sites
frogs88 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 I'm not sure about that. Truely losing hope means that it loses its significance and what's irrelevant doesn't hurt you. The fact that you or OP are hurt means there's still some hope left in you (at least that'd my take). Link to post Share on other sites
Author I_Squared_R Posted May 30, 2015 Author Share Posted May 30, 2015 Are you sure about that? It sounds an awful lot like your ego is butt hurt. Of course, if you're certain that your genetic contribution would ultimately dilute the gene pool then, yea, you could view giving up on dating as an act of altruism in that it frees up a womb or two or three for more tenacious contributors. Your perception is your reality. Personally, I feel obligated to the 150,000 generations of tenacious pussy hounds who preceded me to keep on hittin' it. No that is not what I had meant. I am talking about issues that truly matter such as renewable energy, clean energy, and the colonization of other planets. The rise of present day society is so very young compared to the billions of years our planet has been around. There is always a cyclic Armageddon that occurs (this is also a game of probability). The only way to ensure survival of humanity is to have a new frontier in space. Our civilization isn't moving fast enough in this sector because the funding isn't there. It is ironic that although I dislike humanity - I seek to save it - or maybe improve it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 That's why there are hundreds, if not more, people out there that literally make money off of guys that struggle to meet and attract women. Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 The reasons for your constant failure in dating are in bold above. Being unattractive does not help your cause, but it is not everything. Ugly people get together all the time. More than likely but people don't start out that way, they end up that way from rejection and other life experiences. It's a catch 22, if we were rejected before we were bitter etc what difference does it make? A lot of the advice given in this forum is equivalent to telling a blind man 'You're problem is that you can't see'. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
endlessabyss Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 More than likely but people don't start out that way, they end up that way from rejection and other life experiences. It's a catch 22, if we were rejected before we were bitter etc what difference does it make? A lot of the advice given in this forum is equivalent to telling a blind man 'You're problem is that you can't see'. Truth. (10 characters) Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 That's why there are hundreds, if not more, people out there that literally make money off of guys that struggle to meet and attract women. I wonder if the guys teaching that PUA crap are actually getting laid themselves. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Ya but I don't see how the OP or me can make the desire go away By staying busy focusing on other things. Yes there are other things in life besides women. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
johndoe2 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 A lot of the advice given in this forum is equivalent to telling a blind man 'You're problem is that you can't see'. Ha, very well put, I like this sentence. I think the reality hurts quite a bit when you realise its over. Well, I see it as a complicated psychological response to conflicted sentiments. On one hand, you may believe, cognitively, that there's no hope. But emotionally, you have not yet accepted this proposition (analogous to someone who has lost a family member but has not completed the 5 steps of the grieving process yet). So you are motivated post things like the OP has stating your gloomy take on things, while hoping (not rationally but emotionally) for someone to convince you that you are wrong. That's the interpretation of this kind of post that makes the most sense to me, at least. Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 More than likely but people don't start out that way, they end up that way from rejection and other life experiences. It's a catch 22, if we were rejected before we were bitter etc what difference does it make? A lot of the advice given in this forum is equivalent to telling a blind man 'You're problem is that you can't see'. That goes both ways cause we can't see who's posting. I agree with you a lot most advice on here is crap. A lot of these dudes have, no life, no style, don't know what clothes or haircut suits them and are paranoid to even talk to women It's easier to give advice when you can see, hear and slap somebody. Link to post Share on other sites
Author I_Squared_R Posted May 30, 2015 Author Share Posted May 30, 2015 Ha, very well put, I like this sentence. Well, I see it as a complicated psychological response to conflicted sentiments. On one hand, you may believe, cognitively, that there's no hope. But emotionally, you have not yet accepted this proposition (analogous to someone who has lost a family member but has not completed the 5 steps of the grieving process yet). So you are motivated post things like the OP has stating your gloomy take on things, while hoping (not rationally but emotionally) for someone to convince you that you are wrong. That's the interpretation of this kind of post that makes the most sense to me, at least. You are over thinking my original post. It is so difficult for some of you to grasp the concept of actually extracting oneself completely from the dating game. There is no complicated psychological response here. This is a rational decision like a career change and in a sense this is what I am doing. The opportunity cost of dating is now being shifted into other ventures that promise exponential returns rather then the short term utility that comes from hook up dating. Of course I will still have sexual desires. My intention is to find someone that I can have something ongoing with. There will be exchange of money, but that is the way it is. I know that is frowned upon by society, but it is no different than relationships which is also an exchange of resources/services. Link to post Share on other sites
Teraskas Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 No that is not what I had meant. I am talking about issues that truly matter such as renewable energy, clean energy, and the colonization of other planets. The rise of present day society is so very young compared to the billions of years our planet has been around. There is always a cyclic Armageddon that occurs (this is also a game of probability). The only way to ensure survival of humanity is to have a new frontier in space. Our civilization isn't moving fast enough in this sector because the funding isn't there. It is ironic that although I dislike humanity - I seek to save it - or maybe improve it? It's ironic because I have lost count of how many times I've said what you stated in the quoted post. You remind me of myself, haha. ^^ (Despite the fact that I'm only 23 and am also sick and tired of the 'contemporary dating scene'.) Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 By staying busy focusing on other things. Yes there are other things in life besides women. yes, duh I know that, but the desire does not go away, it's not like an on and off switch, even though us heterosexual guys, men can survive without having a woman in our lives, the desire for wanting one does not go away just like the desire for food and water, even this powerful paragraph from an e-book about meeting and attracting women, says this: "A Man will often distract himself with work, porn, hobbies, his friends, or other things in an attempt to mask the pain of being unsuccessful with women. No matter what they do, nothing replaces their primal, innate, instinctive desire to have a loving, intimate, sexual relationship with a real woman. Accepting defeat is not going to fix any of your issues with women. Your desire to have sex with women and be loved by women is not going to go away if you play more computer games, video games, other hobbies, working harder on your job, career, education, or making more money. You want women and that is that, it is not going to go away." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
johndoe2 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 You are over thinking my original post. It is so difficult for some of you to grasp the concept of actually extracting oneself completely from the dating game. There is no complicated psychological response here. This is a rational decision like a career change and in a sense this is what I am doing. The opportunity cost of dating is now being shifted into other ventures that promise exponential returns rather then the short term utility that comes from hook up dating. I wasn't referring to your decision to not date. It probably is the rational decision, and is more or less the status I find myself in, on and off. I was referring to your decision to make a thread stating your opinion in detail. Of course I will still have sexual desires. My intention is to find someone that I can have something ongoing with. There will be exchange of money, but that is the way it is. I know that is frowned upon by society, but it is no different than relationships which is also an exchange of resources/services. Perhaps it's frowned upon by society precisely because relationships generally entail an exchange of resources/services; in other words, it's a competing service offered in the market. The union workers hate the 'scabs' because the 'scabs' are willing to do the union workers' job at a lower price? Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 More than likely but people don't start out that way, they end up that way from rejection and other life experiences. It's a catch 22, if we were rejected before we were bitter etc what difference does it make? A lot of the advice given in this forum is equivalent to telling a blind man 'You're problem is that you can't see'. Right here the truth in my opinion. Did I start off cynical and bitter, not at all, in fact I started off believing being a good guy, having manners, being kind, being tall and athletic were all assets when it came to dating. Perhaps the mistake is I sacrificed my social life for studies. With the very best of intentions I embarked on the OLD journey, I quickly realised that I had no idea how to actually date and I still don't have any idea. After about 20 OLD dates I realised that assets I thought were useful were not that useful at all because I have no idea what people like, what they find attractive. I also realised that unlike just about anything in life this isn't a game where one cant get better with practice, no because for the most part people are too spineless to actually be honest as to why the reject you. There are few things I want more in life than to take someone out, take them to dinner, go to a movie, perhaps get kissed, to be intellectually wowed, to buy them things, to support them in tough times. Rejection has made me bitter and cynical but it still doesn't change the fact I want to experience the above but I realise its about as likely as wining the lottery. On the flip side of this you have the following females "she is looking for a really nice guy", when you present the qualities of a nice guy who isn't looking to get into her pants you get rejected anyway. My point is those of us who arrive in the give up space didn't get there without a journey, usually one where the experience has been overwhelmingly bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 I wouldn't say throw in the towel but a lot of younger guys now are taking more of a passing approach to dating. The mindset is kindoff "If it happens it happens", but they're not going Out of their way to pursue women. No online dating, no going to clubs/parties etc 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 You are over thinking my original post. It is so difficult for some of you to grasp the concept of actually extracting oneself completely from the dating game. There is no complicated psychological response here. This is a rational decision like a career change and in a sense this is what I am doing. The opportunity cost of dating is now being shifted into other ventures that promise exponential returns rather then the short term utility that comes from hook up dating. Of course I will still have sexual desires. My intention is to find someone that I can have something ongoing with. There will be exchange of money, but that is the way it is. I know that is frowned upon by society, but it is no different than relationships which is also an exchange of resources/services. As I stated before, I know a lot of guys who have given up. They're over 40 and more passive types, and at this point, with the dwindling number of singles, it's a very good bet that they will never have another woman again. Your life is your own. To be honest, nobody cares if you never have another woman for the rest of your life ... except maybe your mom. So, you have to own it. Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 As I stated before, I know a lot of guys who have given up. They're over 40 and more passive types, and at this point, with the dwindling number of singles, it's a very good bet that they will never have another woman again. Your life is your own. To be honest, nobody cares if you never have another woman for the rest of your life ... except maybe your mom. So, you have to own it. Your life is your own, obviously it applies to men more than women, as much as people say "life is what we make it", the only time that quote applies to women is in their job, career-life, education or study, social life with friends but not in the heterosexual dating and relationship world. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Your life is your own, obviously it applies to men more than women, as much as people say "life is what we make it", the only time that quote applies to women is in their job, career-life, education or study, social life with friends but not in the heterosexual dating and relationship world. It doesn't matter though. Somewhere out there, there is a woman who cannot attract men. I know for a fact there are some (though the raw percentages might be much less). Life is finite. You can do with the time what you wish. Good luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 It doesn't matter though. Somewhere out there, there is a woman who cannot attract men. I know for a fact there are some (though the raw percentages might be much less). Life is finite. You can do with the time what you wish. Good luck to you. I agree with you, but it sounds like the percentage of women who can't attract men is smaller than the percentage of men who can't attract women Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 I agree with you, but it sounds like the percentage of women who can't attract men is smaller than the percentage of men who can't attract women Absolutely true. Hence the proliferation of prostitution, you will find female prostitutes far outnumber male ones. That's an indication enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Author I_Squared_R Posted June 1, 2015 Author Share Posted June 1, 2015 (edited) Absolutely true. Hence the proliferation of prostitution, you will find female prostitutes far outnumber male ones. That's an indication enough. Where there is a desire, there is profit. I am contempt with the idea of becoming marginally successful and then using services like "Seeking Arrangements". In fact - I am much more comfortable with the idea as opposed to conventional dating. Conventional dating requires much effort, a bit of compensation, and the inevitable rejection. The scale of energy involved with these things increases with lack of attractiveness. Sometimes the scale of effort doesn't have any return. On the other hand - men can achieve companionship with desirable woman by arrangement of compensation. It isn't illegal and we can just say "we met at starbucks" Edited June 1, 2015 by I_Squared_R Link to post Share on other sites
kolleamm Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 OP, you probably could get a girlfriend just not off of dating websites. Everyone goes on there so the competition is out of this world. Take your mind off women for a while. Build a strong social network of friends and through them you will meet who you desire. I have come to realize throughout my life that the only people you interact with should not be just women but men as well. They have many stories to tell and many connections to other people. Don't let your emotions control you and don't hate women, everyone has their own rank and they must accept it. I was probably not born with the best of looks in fact I still look like a kid at almost 23 years of age, but so what? It's better to work hard in life than to have everything handed to you on a gold plate even if things don't always work out, at least you tried. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 everyone has their own rank and they must accept it. Any tips as to how to accept that? Link to post Share on other sites
kolleamm Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Any tips as to how to accept that? You start thinking about it as a challenge. Ok I have this and im stuck with that, how do I make the best of it and survive? I like to imagine I'm stuck on a metaphorical dating world island where you have to do your best to survive with odds against you. Seems fun that way if you think about it as opposed to having it all. In fact I'm glad I have so little! It keeps my mind strong and occupied. Link to post Share on other sites
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