fitnessfan365 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 I know I'm in the minority. But I actually think this girl liked barecode and was on the level. 1) She always initiated communication and double texted. Even after her grandfather got ill, she still made an effort to stay in touch and apologize multiple times. Women that aren't interested, don't pursue and stay in your orbit. They fade out. 2) The day before date two, she finds out she got passed over at work for the third straight time and gets no sleep because of it. Yet she keeps the date and goes out with him anyways. Now I know barcode wanted the same energy to carry over. But when your real life is in turmoil, it's going to take precedent in your thoughts/actions over a guy you had one date with. ** She even reached out that night after the date to reassure him about how crappy her life had been and that it had nothing to do with him. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 I know I'm in the minority. But I actually think this girl liked barecode and was on the level. 1) She always initiated communication and double texted. Even after her grandfather got ill, she still made an effort to stay in touch and apologize multiple times. ***Women that aren't interested, don't pursue and stay in your orbit. They fade out. *** 2) The day before date two, she finds out she got passed over at work for the third straight time and gets no sleep because of it. Yet she keeps the date and goes out with him anyways. Now I know barcode wanted the same energy to carry over. But when your real life is in turmoil, it's going to take precedent in your thoughts/actions over a guy you had one date with. . Quote in asterisk above, I am sure she likes him too, but IMO her ACTIONS on their second date (after the sex)...SAY more about how she felt (or does not feel)...than all the text messages/mixed messages/excuses combined. She's just not that into him as the saying goes. Likes him as a person and friend but any woman who is really into a guy romantically and sexually does not behave the way she did. Her profile is hidden, my guess is she is seeing/banging some other dude. Keeping barcode on the backburner. barcode, follow your gut! It always knows best! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dyna85 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 (edited) Quote in asterisk above, I am sure she likes him too, but IMO her ACTIONS on their second date (after the sex)...SAY more about how she felt (or does not feel)...than all the text messages/mixed messages/excuses combined. She's just not that into him as the saying goes. Likes him as a person and friend but any woman who is really into a guy romantically and sexually does not behave the way she did. Her profile is hidden, my guess is she is seeing/banging some other dude. Keeping barcode on the backburner. barcode, follow your gut! It always knows best! I could not agree more with this post. If she were truly feeling you, she wouldn't have been able to keep her hands off of you on date #2. You don't just go from zero to 180 and then back to zero, sans explanation, unless you got issues. I definitely think barcode did the right thing in putting his foot down and not allowing himself to fall into the backburner category, and I definitely think she is seeing/banging multiple other dudes, and in particular the one who texted/called 9 times while barcode was having sex w/her. #gutfeelings Edited May 31, 2015 by dyna85 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Was her behavior off on the second date? Yes. But look at the circumstances. The day before she is passed over for promotion at work yet again for the third straight time. Then, that night she gets absolutely no sleep. So it isn't it possible that her mind would be preoccupied and she wouldn't be feeling her best? It's great they had sex on the first date. But barcode is still a guy she only had one date with. So a person you barely know is going to take a backseat in your mind to real life problems. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 (edited) UPDATE Went on our 2nd date last night, Monday night was her weekend, but last night was a work night and she works early in the morning. At the end of the date it WAS pretty late for her, so I feel I could have been better on the timing. Anyways I tried greeting her with a kiss and she didn't let it go as passionate as before, after that point everything seemed to go downhill. I feel like she was a bit reserved so the date suffered. She would hold hands with me but at the same time felt detached. On date 1 we were all over each other in Public. At the end of the night she turned her face away from me, and just gave me an awkward hug. After that I pretty much considered it over.... She text me later saying she was tired from being up all day, and is having a hard time at work, and she's sorry if she gave me the wrong impression. I think she might be game playing which I hate so I just told her let's take some time and reset. Her excuse fits her sudden change in behavior at the start of the date, but God so many mixed signals I don't know. I decided I would just go dark on her for the next 5 days and try distance myself. Honestly thinking about this hurts... Going from having great sex to not even getting a kiss has really made me feel miserable, especially since I like this girl Edit: Honestly I feel like I should just let this one go or I'll probably end up getting burned..... ^^This post from barcode says it all. His gut was screaming something was off....and he was right! Being a woman myself, when we are really into a guy, we do NOT behave this way. No way no how! Her excuse that she was tired, had a bad day at work does not cut it....that was her guilt talking, being how hot she was for him on the first date....which ended with hot sex to boot. I get stressed A LOT at work, my dad passed last year...and my mom passed two weeks after I started dating my bf....and NONE of those things affected/affect my attraction to my boyfriend! Or any man I have dated who I was really into. barcode...this can't be stressed enough... you did the right thing by moving on. Sorry it did not work out though....I know it hurts, but you know you are an awesome guy, there's more where she came from. :bunny: Edited May 31, 2015 by katiegrl 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author barcode88 Posted May 31, 2015 Author Share Posted May 31, 2015 Thanks for the support. I think she was into me going into the second date, I did greet her with a kiss and we held hands all night, but I kept her a bit too long and I think she was tired. Im not going to analyze much more but after the 2nd date she definitely put me on the backburner. If I was a viable option she would have been more upset when I told her I'm done. Lol. She probably gets a lot of attention from guys, she has a perfect body, cute/innocent face, and is well endowed... So it's understandable how I fell down the ladder so quick. But yeah I got sick of her being evasive and flakey so I'm done. I've deleted all her contact info. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dyna85 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Was her behavior off on the second date? Yes. But look at the circumstances. The day before she is passed over for promotion at work yet again for the third straight time. Then, that night she gets absolutely no sleep. So it isn't it possible that her mind would be preoccupied and she wouldn't be feeling her best? It's great they had sex on the first date. But barcode is still a guy she only had one date with. So a person you barely know is going to take a backseat in your mind to real life problems. None of that would matter to me and it sounds like a bunch of excuses anyway. If I'm into a guy and it's the second date only and we've already been sexual/intimate, there is no way I would hold back b/c of work issues. I'm in no way thinking of work issues on a date, esp if I'm highly attracted to the guy. This girl meanwhile has every excuse in the book...sleep issues, work issues, grandpa sick. I mean, the writing is on the wall imo. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Thanks for the support. I think she was into me going into the second date, I did greet her with a kiss and we held hands all night, but I kept her a bit too long and I think she was tired. Im not going to analyze much more but after the 2nd date she definitely put me on the backburner. If I was a viable option she would have been more upset when I told her I'm done. Lol. She probably gets a lot of attention from guys, she has a perfect body, cute/innocent face, and is well endowed... So it's understandable how I fell down the ladder so quick. But yeah I got sick of her being evasive and flakey so I'm done. I've deleted all her contact info. barcode, if this^^ is what your gut is telling you, then you are right to pay attention to that. You were there, you were the one to experience this, none of us were. We could all speculate/opine until hell freezes over, but bottom line is *you* were the one experiencing this....and as such YOU have to trust YOUR intuition. Which you are doing... good for you. :) Just keep going...and try not to let this one get you down. Link to post Share on other sites
Author barcode88 Posted May 31, 2015 Author Share Posted May 31, 2015 (edited) None of that would matter to me and it sounds like a bunch of excuses anyway. If I'm into a guy and it's the second date only and we've already been sexual/intimate, there is no way I would hold back b/c of work issues. I'm in no way thinking of work issues on a date, esp if I'm highly attracted to the guy. This girl meanwhile has every excuse in the book...sleep issues, work issues, grandpa sick. I mean, the writing is on the wall imo. People vilified me for calling BS on the excuses lol. It's an easy white lie to make, her grandpa was OK just had some tests done and needed a ride that was it. No reason she had to run to the next state over where her family lives to give him a ride IMO. She just used a partially true situation and made it into a good excuse to cancel but keep me on the hook. It's not like I called her out on it, I accepted that it's possible she legitimately had to cancel. However after she didn't offer an alternate date/time, and I even asked her out again while we were chatting earlier (to which she evaded and showed no interest in a different date/time) it's safe to say it was just an excuse. @Katie, this one isn't getting me down at all, I was prepared this past week for things to fall apart, I saw it coming but decided to give things the benefit of the doubt. I got a date tomorrow evening, and later today I'm calling another girl that I've been flirting heavily via text. Edited May 31, 2015 by barcode88 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 **People vilified me for calling BS on the excuses lol** . It's an easy white lie to make, her grandpa was OK just had some tests done and needed a ride that was it. No reason she had to run to the next state over where her family lives to give him a ride IMO. She just used a partially true situation and made it into a good excuse to cancel but keep me on the hook. I didn't! I could be wrong, but it doesn't sound like ff has much experience with women keeping him on the backburner. When they are not into him romantically/sexually, they just stop texting and fade out. That is his experience. But the fact is many many women *will* keep texting, but make excuse after excuse as to why they can't get together, etc. These women either don't know what/who they want, are playing games, are attention whores and/or keeping guy on backburner. None of which bode well for developing a relationship. Apologies to ff if what I stated above is incorrect... Link to post Share on other sites
Author barcode88 Posted May 31, 2015 Author Share Posted May 31, 2015 Yeah I'm not cool being on the backburner when it's so obvious lol. 2nd date confirmed on phone with another girl, so I have 2 dates this week on Monday and Wednesday with a 23 and 24 year old. Maybe I'll get first date sex again and I can start First Date Sex Part 2?? Hahhaaha kidding Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 But the fact is many many women *will* keep texting, but make excuse after excuse as to why they can't get together, etc. Oh I get that. But that wasn't the case here. They had two dates. Then she cancelled date three initially because of her grandpa. However, then she kept reaching out to give him the chance to ask her out again. Yet he never did. Anytime she initiated contact, he'd text back and forth waiting for her to bring up plans. Yet a lot of women are still traditional in wanting a guy to make plans. If barcode had asked her out again and she cancelled a second time, then I'd agree with you. But there was never another date invite for her to flake on. So you can't really know for sure. Also, going back to the date two behavior. Barcode said that she was off from the very start. This leads me to believe that she had a lot on her mind going into the date that had nothing to do with him. If her change in behavior was based on him, he would have seen a decline over the course of the night. Not from the second it started. Link to post Share on other sites
Author barcode88 Posted May 31, 2015 Author Share Posted May 31, 2015 Oh I get that. But that wasn't the case here. They had two dates. Then she cancelled date three initially because of her grandpa. However, then she kept reaching out to give him the chance to ask her out again. Yet he never did. Anytime she initiated contact, he'd text back and forth waiting for her to bring up plans. Yet a lot of women are still traditional in wanting a guy to make plans. If barcode had asked her out again and she cancelled a second time, then I'd agree with you. But there was never another date invite for her to flake on. So you can't really know for sure. Also, going back to the date two behavior. Barcode said that she was off from the very start. This leads me to believe that she had a lot on her mind going into the date that had nothing to do with him. If her change in behavior was based on him, he would have seen a decline over the course of the night. Not from the second it started. To clear some things up FF, she didn't initiate contact with me post cancelled date. We just talked prior to the cancelled date on Friday, and then she stopped responding. I reached out to her this morning, and asked her out again. When I asked her out again earlier today, she was being equally evasive and didn't seem interested in meeting up again. I wasn't going to push things and decided to just pull the plug since her interest level had obviously dipped so much.. I'd rather bail with my dignity intact instead of begging for a date and getting turned down. You might be right that she might still have interest in me FF, but I was on the BACKBURNER -_- lol. Not where I wanted to be. Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 To clear some things up FF, she didn't initiate contact with me post cancelled date. We just talked prior to the cancelled date on Friday, and then she stopped responding. I reached out to her this morning, and asked her out again. When I asked her out again earlier today, she was being equally evasive and didn't seem interested in meeting up again. I wasn't going to push things and decided to just pull the plug since her interest level had obviously dipped so much.. I'd rather bail with my dignity intact instead of begging for a date and getting turned down. You might be right that she might still have interest in me FF, but I was on the BACKBURNER -_- lol. Not where I wanted to be. OK that's different then. Thanks for expanding. I agree that if her first cancel had been genuine she would have given you a clear cut yes to go out again when you asked her today. But didn't you originally say that she initiated a text re-apologizing for the cancel and then she double texted when you didn't respond? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author barcode88 Posted May 31, 2015 Author Share Posted May 31, 2015 OK that's different then. Thanks for expanding. I agree that if her first cancel had been genuine she would have given you a clear cut yes to go out again when you asked her today. But didn't you originally say that she initiated a text re-apologizing for the cancel and then she double texted when you didn't respond? Yeah that was all in a 1-2 hour timeframe on Friday afternoon though. I did respond and then she stopped responding, so I waited until today to act. I expect if a girl cancels on me, that she makes it clear she wants to reschedule, yes I will handle the "asking out" part, but if she cancels and is being flakey/evasive or not showing any interest, I will lose interest. One girl I dated a couple weeks ago (we had 1 date, we felt no connection, mutual), I had to ask her to cancel because I forgot about plans I had on the day we were supposed to meet, but I immediately asked if she was free the previous day to reschedule, and make it clear I wasn't bailing on her. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 (edited) Oh I get that. But that wasn't the case here. They had two dates. Then she cancelled date three initially because of her grandpa. However, then she kept reaching out to give him the chance to ask her out again. Yet he never did. Anytime she initiated contact, he'd text back and forth waiting for her to bring up plans. Yet a lot of women are still traditional in wanting a guy to make plans. If barcode had asked her out again and she cancelled a second time, then I'd agree with you. But there was never another date invite for her to flake on. So you can't really know for sure. Also, going back to the date two behavior. Barcode said that she was off from the very start. This leads me to believe that she had a lot on her mind going into the date that had nothing to do with him. If her change in behavior was based on him, he would have seen a decline over the course of the night. Not from the second it started. ff how would you feel if your first date with a chick was smoking hot, LOTS of PDA ending with hot sex. You really dig this chick! But then on your second date, she's distant throughout the date and when you try to kiss her, she turns her cheek??? And ends the date with just a hug? Come on now dude....you'd be okay with that? And buy her excuse she had a bad day? Really? As if that's not indication enough that she's not into it, she cancels third date with no offer for alternative day, and blows off all your attempts to plan for another third date. Doesn't even bother responding back. Okay so grandpa had to be picked up from hospital after having some tests. So what? She couldn't offer another time? She really milked that excuse didn't she. Or she's tired, stressed, whatever. Come on now...common sense. Edited May 31, 2015 by katiegrl 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 ff how would you feel if your first date with a chick was smoking hot, LOTS of PDA ending with hot sex. You really dig this chick! But then on your second date, she's distant throughout the date and when you try to kiss to kiss her, she turns her cheek??? And ends the date with just a hug? Come on now dude....you'd be okay with that? And buy her excuse she had a bad day? Really? As if that's not indication enough that she's not into it, she cancels third date with no offer for alternative day, and blows off all your attempts to plan for another third date. Okay so grandpa had to be picked up from hospital after having some tests. So what? She couldn't offer another time? She really milked that excuse didn't she. Or she's tired, stressed, whatever. Come on now. I'm with Katie on this one. When a woman is interested in a man not much will get her to flake on him especially not something from work. She is 23, what type of promotion could be THIS life changing for her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 ff how would you feel if your first date with a chick was smoking hot, LOTS of PDA ending with hot sex. You really dig this chick! But then on your second date, she's distant throughout the date and when you try to kiss her, she turns her cheek??? And ends the date with just a hug? Come on now dude....you'd be okay with that? And buy her excuse she had a bad day? Really? As if that's not indication enough that she's not into it, she cancels third date with no offer for alternative day, and blows off all your attempts to plan for another third date. Doesn't even bother responding back. Okay so grandpa had to be picked up from hospital after having some tests. So what? She couldn't offer another time? She really milked that excuse didn't she. Or she's tired, stressed, whatever. Come on now...common sense. Well now that barcode expanded on everything up to date, I agree with you guys. I didn't know that he had tried asking her out again for a third date and that she was evasive. I was under the impression that she cancelled initially and then stayed in contact after that with no future date invite. But on date two behavior, I still find it funny that she was off from the very start. This makes it seem like she had crap on her mind that had nothing to do with him. Whereas if she started out really enthusiastic and then got colder as the night went on leading into the hug. However, barcode mentioned her 180 was in effect from the second the date started. If she's already off going in, something else would have had to have happened to trigger it before he got there. That's all I'm saying. But it's all in the past now. Onto the next ones. BTW barcode - we've all been thrown through a loop by a great rack. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author barcode88 Posted May 31, 2015 Author Share Posted May 31, 2015 I'm with Katie on this one. When a woman is interested in a man not much will get her to flake on him especially not something from work. She is 23, what type of promotion could be THIS life changing for her. She actually has a pretty good career for her age (government service - law enforcement). I think she was really stressed/tired. She had the hots for me up until the 2nd date - and honestly the 2nd date STARTED OUT okay.... I did give her a kiss and while it wasn't as passionate, it could have been she was tired/stressed. However, it's hard to say what combination of things caused her to become distant. Honestly it's irrelevant. I think I played things pretty smooth for the most part, but they just weren't meant to be. Based on the timing of her Match profile going Hidden, I think she was probably already a couple dates ahead of me with another guy, so the timing was not in my favor. She probably felt guilty for sleeping with me when she liked the other guy too. The sex we had was good, it was toe curling for her, so it wasn't bad sex that drove her away Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 (edited) Okay so grandpa had to be picked up from hospital after having some tests. So what? She couldn't offer another time? She really milked that excuse didn't she. Or she's tired, stressed, whatever. Come on now...common sense. Pretty sure now there was no grandpa. Or if there was, he's the picture of perfect health sitting at home reading the newspaper. edit But it's all in the past now. Onto the next ones. BTW barcode - we've all been thrown through a loop by a great rack. Is that what he meant by "well endowed?" I thought he was saying she packed an exceptionally large strapon. Edited May 31, 2015 by jen1447 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Pretty sure now there was no grandpa. Or if there was, he's the picture of perfect health sitting at home reading the newspaper. : You are probably right! Link to post Share on other sites
Author barcode88 Posted May 31, 2015 Author Share Posted May 31, 2015 Pretty sure now there was no grandpa. Or if there was, he's the picture of perfect health sitting at home reading the newspaper. edit Is that what he meant by "well endowed?" I thought he was saying she packed an exceptionally large strapon. Lol yes. She was about 5'3 , Dirty Blonde/Brown hair, D cup i'm pretty sure, good ass, not a shred of flab on her but not too skinny, perfectly flat stomach Physically perfect. She could have passed for 18 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Mmm, PM me her number. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Mmm, PM me her number. LOL...jen you're on fire today! :laugh: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 She actually has a pretty good career for her age (government service - law enforcement). OH lordy lord ! No need to say more. Link to post Share on other sites
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