First Date Sex

[phineas]

after first date sex they usually contact me to tell me they had a good time a few hrs after they leave.

 

For me, if I had a good time I walk them to their car or take them to their car & tell them I had a good time and we should do it again.

 

I also joke about them doing the walk of shame.

But that's my sense of humor & they always play along & mock embarrassment.

 

just chill.

When first date sex goes to a second date it usually happens half a week away and when she walks through the door she's grabbing for my junk.

[barcode88]

She did text me again haha. Going to call her tonight if she keeps texting me otherwise tomorrow

 

I responded to her text though.

[alphamale]

first date sex is the best but the relationships only last a short time.

[fitnessfan365]

She did text me again haha. Going to call her tonight if she keeps texting me otherwise tomorrow ��

 

I responded to her text though.

 

If a woman sent me a text in that situation, I'd just call her back instead of sending a text response.

 

By treating a woman's text like a written voice mail, it's actually worked wonders for me. You have a great 5 min phone call and say what needs to be said. Then you're done. Unlike texting that has no dial tone and keep going on and on and on..LOL Since I started doing this, it's helped to train women I date that I don't want to do text marathons.

[Versacehottie]

If her communication decreases, then she viewed it as a ONS then right?

 

I don't agree. She, as people said above, could be second guessing her decision and looking to you for some sort of reassurance as in your returned interest level after you slept together. Everyone (generalization here but you get the picture) kind of freaks out after you've had sex if you don't necessarily know what the other person's intentions are. Don't make assumptions about her communications just yet. Be the guy who's interested and handled accordingly. I think it's almost good to forget that you had sex but just classify it as a great first date and handle just as you would one of those. A girl you're interested in and don't want to leave her in a place where she is doubting your interest level. yay good for you.

[barcode88]

I called and we have another date setup!!!

[JJCaliGirl]

Good for you! Do you know what you will do or are you still figuring it out?

[barcode88]

Set up plans right there on the phone, all set to go

[barcode88]

UPDATE

 

Went on our 2nd date last night, Monday night was her weekend, but last night was a work night and she works early in the morning. At the end of the date it WAS pretty late for her, so I feel I could have been better on the timing.

 

Anyways I tried greeting her with a kiss and she didn't let it go as passionate as before, after that point everything seemed to go downhill. I feel like she was a bit reserved so the date suffered. She would hold hands with me but at the same time felt detached. On date 1 we were all over each other in Public.

 

At the end of the night she turned her face away from me, and just gave me an awkward hug. After that I pretty much considered it over.... She text me later saying she was tired from being up all day, and is having a hard time at work, and she's sorry if she gave me the wrong impression. I think she might be game playing which I hate so I just told her let's take some time and reset. Her excuse fits her sudden change in behavior at the start of the date, but God so many mixed signals I don't know. I decided I would just go dark on her for the next 5 days and try distance myself.

 

Honestly thinking about this hurts... Going from having great sex to not even getting a kiss has really made me feel miserable, especially since I like this girl

 

Edit: Honestly I feel like I should just let this one go or I'll probably end up getting burned.....

Edited May 22, 2015 by barcode88

[Eternal Sunshine]

How about you give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she was really stressed and tired? Wait a couple of days and ask her out again..

[Gaeta]

Is it possible because the first date was axed on sex she wanted this second date concentrating on everything else but sex? After all she did accept your second date invitation. It was her way of bringing it back to basic.

[ASG]

Or... Maybe her girl friends told her what every one would tell a girl in this situation here on LS: Play it cool, take a step back, take sex off the table, go back to basics and maybe you can salvage any damage...

 

Only there was no damage to salvage and doing that ACTUALLY causes the damage!

 

Food for thought!

[barcode88]

Or... Maybe her girl friends told her what every one would tell a girl in this situation here on LS: Play it cool, take a step back, take sex off the table, go back to basics and maybe you can salvage any damage...

 

Only there was no damage to salvage and doing that ACTUALLY causes the damage!

 

Food for thought!

 

Honestly I wasn't aiming for sex since she had to be up early, but showing some affection would have been nice. Going from hot sex to nothing tells me she's not interested.

[d0nnivain]

Honestly I wasn't aiming for sex since she had to be up early, but showing some affection would have been nice. Going from hot sex to nothing tells me she's not interested.

 

that is one possibility but I read her behavior on the 2nd date as being embarrassed by the fact that you had sex on the 1st date.

 

If she contacts you would you go out with her again?

 

If so give her the long weekend to get her head on straight then reach out next week.

 

I'm a bit of hopeless romantic so I want to believe there is a chance but you know her; you were there; you have a whole other level to analyze that is not available to us.

[El Pallasso]

UPDATE

 

Went on our 2nd date last night, Monday night was her weekend, but last night was a work night and she works early in the morning. At the end of the date it WAS pretty late for her, so I feel I could have been better on the timing.

 

Anyways I tried greeting her with a kiss and she didn't let it go as passionate as before, after that point everything seemed to go downhill. I feel like she was a bit reserved so the date suffered. She would hold hands with me but at the same time felt detached. On date 1 we were all over each other in Public.

 

At the end of the night she turned her face away from me, and just gave me an awkward hug. After that I pretty much considered it over.... She text me later saying she was tired from being up all day, and is having a hard time at work, and she's sorry if she gave me the wrong impression. I think she might be game playing which I hate so I just told her let's take some time and reset. Her excuse fits her sudden change in behavior at the start of the date, but God so many mixed signals I don't know. I decided I would just go dark on her for the next 5 days and try distance myself.

 

Honestly thinking about this hurts... Going from having great sex to not even getting a kiss has really made me feel miserable, especially since I like this girl

 

Edit: Honestly I feel like I should just let this one go or I'll probably end up getting burned.....

 

Lol. Hate to say I told you so. You should not be rushing to set up another date after first date sex. You need to give her time to miss you.

 

You need to give her time to process her feelings. Setting up another date so soon makes her feel you're needy or want to have sex again so she will withdraw and go into auto reject mode.

 

When you have first date sex, you pull back and let her chase. Live and learn, buddy. Chalk it up to a lesson.

 

What you need to do now is completely forget about her and start dating other women. Don't catch oneitis for her.

[barcode88]

that is one possibility but I read her behavior on the 2nd date as being embarrassed by the fact that you had sex on the 1st date.

 

If she contacts you would you go out with her again?

 

If so give her the long weekend to get her head on straight then reach out next week.

 

I'm a bit of hopeless romantic so I want to believe there is a chance but you know her; you were there; you have a whole other level to analyze that is not available to us.

 

I get the vibe that first date sex isn't unusual for her. She's shy on the outside but a freak in the sheets. She mentioned a lot of her friends are guys, she says she doesn't get along with other females as much since they can be so emotional.

 

She's young at 23, used to party a lot, so I know she isnt as innocent as she seems with the shy exterior. She probably has a FWB wouldnt surprise me.

 

Date 2 She was looking at her phone a lot now that I think of it.. On the first date she didn't look at it all night. The next day she mentioned her guy friend tried calling her like 8 times while we were ****ing lol.

 

I don't know I just feel like she's playing games or doesn't know what she wants. She claims she's on match because 2 of her friends married people they met in there.

 

I have a feeling I'm about to get burned on this... Lol. Sorry for the rant.

[katiegrl]

barcode, first off I am sorry. Second, your instincts are right on. What you told her about resetting was perfect. You are right to back off.

 

Do not contact her...the ball is in HER court. If she never contacts you, chalk it up to yet another fickle woman who doesn't know what the hell she wants...

[barcode88]

Lol. Hate to say I told you so. You should not be rushing to set up another date after first date sex. You need to give her time to miss you.

 

You need to give her time to process her feelings. Setting up another date so soon makes her feel you're needy or want to have sex again so she will withdraw and go into auto reject mode.

 

When you have first date sex, you pull back and let her chase. Live and learn, buddy. Chalk it up to a lesson.

 

What you need to do now is completely forget about her and start dating other women. Don't catch oneitis for her.

 

Yeah I've been burned twice listening to female advice on here. Lol. Just going to chalk it up as another lesson learned. In retrospect I realize now I may have come off as needy without realizing it.

 

Think I can salvage this if I pull back now or is the damage done?

 

I'm going to try find others to date, I dated 3 people this week actually, 2 of them I felt nothing for.

Edited May 22, 2015 by barcode88

[ASG]

Yeah I've been burned twice listening to female advice on here. Lol. Just going to chalk it up as another lesson learned. In retrospect I realize now I may have come off as needy without realizing it.

 

Think I can salvage this if I pull back now or is the damage done?

 

I'm going to try find others to date, I dated 3 people this week actually, 2 of them I felt nothing for.

 

LOL so now it's OUR fault?!

 

Listen, she's either not interested, which is a possibility, but it has nothing to do with you setting up a second date so soon, or she is playing coy and trying to take back the sex on the first date pressure.

 

You setting up a second date has nothing to do with either scenario.

 

Honestly, if I was really interested in a guy and he set up a second date straight away, I'd be over the moon. I'd also not try to pretend the sex didn't happen, but that's just me.

 

If, on the other hand, you disappeared off the face of the earth, I'd just assume you were a douchebag and move on.

 

So, no, the problem isn't the advice you got from women. The problem is her potentially not being that interested or having people giving her **** advice about taking the sex off the table and going back to the "get to know you" phase.

[barcode88]

LOL so now it's OUR fault?!

 

Listen, she's either not interested, which is a possibility, but it has nothing to do with you setting up a second date so soon, or she is playing coy and trying to take back the sex on the first date pressure.

 

You setting up a second date has nothing to do with either scenario.

 

Honestly, if I was really interested in a guy and he set up a second date straight away, I'd be over the moon. I'd also not try to pretend the sex didn't happen, but that's just me.

 

If, on the other hand, you disappeared off the face of the earth, I'd just assume you were a douchebag and move on.

 

So, no, the problem isn't the advice you got from women. The problem is her potentially not being that interested or having people giving her **** advice about taking the sex off the table and going back to the "get to know you" phase.

 

I'm not holding any blame for anyone here, I hold myself responsible for what happens in my dating life Live and learn!

 

I'm actually going up North to my cabin this weekend so it will be good to clear my head a bit I think

Edited May 22, 2015 by barcode88

[jen1447]

I don't think backing off a little could hurt. If she's into you, she won't get the clingy vibe if you're quiet, and if she's not, you'll know bc she won't contact you either and you'll walk away w/your dignity.

[Versacehottie]

LOL so now it's OUR fault?!

 

Listen, she's either not interested, which is a possibility, but it has nothing to do with you setting up a second date so soon, or she is playing coy and trying to take back the sex on the first date pressure.

 

You setting up a second date has nothing to do with either scenario.

 

Honestly, if I was really interested in a guy and he set up a second date straight away, I'd be over the moon. I'd also not try to pretend the sex didn't happen, but that's just me.

 

If, on the other hand, you disappeared off the face of the earth, I'd just assume you were a douchebag and move on.

 

So, no, the problem isn't the advice you got from women. The problem is her potentially not being that interested or having people giving her **** advice about taking the sex off the table and going back to the "get to know you" phase.

 

yeah she could just be a sl8t. don't blame us. ;-)

 

i do think if her "guy friend" tried to reach her 8 times while you were having sex AND she mentioned it to you, she is suspect.

 

The advice given on here in your thread was presuming she was gf/normal dateable material.

[barcode88]

I don't think backing off a little could hurt. If she's into you, she won't get the clingy vibe if you're quiet, and if she's not, you'll know bc she won't contact you either and you'll walk away w/your dignity.

 

That's exactly what I was thinking...

 

Honestly I think the first date went so well because I really played it cool/confident. But after having Sex I think I got a bit clingy/needy and didn't realize it.

 

I set up the date too soon, and it was a less than ideal time since she had work early the next morning (4am)... I just wanted to see her before I leave today for up north and i'm not coming back until Monday night.

 

yeah she could just be a sl8t. don't blame us. ;-)

 

i do think if her "guy friend" tried to reach her 8 times while you were having sex AND she mentioned it to you, she is suspect.

 

The advice given on here in your thread was presuming she was gf/normal dateable material.

 

Yeah she didn't mention him until the 2nd date though, the morning after I assumed it was a female friend.

 

 

 

I guess in the end I wont be too down about it, I got to have sex with a 23 year old with a rocking body (probably the hottest I've had sex with tbh), and we shared a pretty great connection in the moment which made it a night I won't soon forget I guess that makes it harder for me to accept rejection though.

Edited May 22, 2015 by barcode88

[Versacehottie]

That's exactly what I was thinking...

 

Honestly I think the first date went so well because I really played it cool/confident. But after having Sex I think I got a bit clingy/needy and didn't realize it.

 

I set up the date too soon, and it was a less than ideal time since she had work early the next morning (4am)... I just wanted to see her before I leave today for up north and i'm not coming back until Monday night.

 

 

 

Yeah she didn't mention him until the 2nd date though, the morning after I assumed it was a female friend.

 

 

 

I guess in the end I wont be too down about it, I got to have sex with a 23 year old with a rocking body (probably the hottest I've had sex with tbh), and we shared a pretty great connection in the moment which made it a night I won't soon forget I guess that makes it harder for me to accept rejection though.

 

Well I wouldn't be too down about it at all. Sometimes how people seem is not how they are. From her actions recently, I don't think she is necessarily looking for a boyfriend, which makes sense if you match it up with some of her statements. Your behavior from what you described here would be good and readily accepted if someone was looking for a relationship and truly interested. I think it just has to do with her mindset not necessarily you so don't let it color how you handle future dates where you sleep together on first night. Even if she has moments of wanting a relationship and then flip-flops, well that's what you would get if you kept dating her too so....

 

Take it for what it was. A good night.

[d0nnivain]

It wasn't really rejection. She only wanted "one thing". You gave it to her. She was done.

 

Take the good stuff. Don't freak yourself out about the bad. Know you have good instincts & enjoy your cabin.