Top tier men are hoarding all the women

[LookAtThisPOst]

I will be married very soon and will start building up the family that I wanted since I was a teenager

 

You "will" be married soon? You say that as if you had 100% assurance. Keep in mind, there are no guarantees as some men and women had wound up having these goals, but...it just never turned out that way for them.

 

I had to laugh at a woman who I had met at a church singles ministry. We had dinner together, dutch treat as she had already friend zoned me, but that's another story...we got to talking about "being married by a certain age." I think at the time I was in my early 30's and she was in her mid-20's.

 

I mentioned that there are some people, believe it or not, that ARE some people who are in their 30s, that had never been married. She almost looked at me in disbelief and said, "Well, I hope to be married by 30!" As if it would she was so sure this would actually happen.

 

It's just how one's cards are dealt. So, ltjg45, you cannot be really be certain of this...you may even wind up being in that pool of middle-agers that never yet have been married.

[ltjg45]

You "will" be married soon? You say that as if you had 100% assurance. Keep in mind, there are no guarantees as some men and women had wound up having these goals, but...it just never turned out that way for them.

 

I had to laugh at a woman who I had met at a church singles ministry. We had dinner together, dutch treat as she had already friend zoned me, but that's another story...we got to talking about "being married by a certain age." I think at the time I was in my early 30's and she was in her mid-20's.

 

I mentioned that there are some people, believe it or not, that ARE some people who are in their 30s, that had never been married. She almost looked at me in disbelief and said, "Well, I hope to be married by 30!" As if it would she was so sure this would actually happen.

 

It's just how one's cards are dealt. So, ltjg45, you cannot be really be certain of this...you may even wind up being in that pool of middle-agers that never yet have been married.

 

I am sure I will get married. Maybe not as soon as I would like but, with the cards being dealt with me, seeing the options that is on the table, and knowing that building a strong and happy family is my biggest priority in my life (everything else I am doing is only to work towards that main goal), I am sure I will get married eventually

 

It is even possible that I can get married before I turn 30 but, being realistic, I am not counting on it. But if I take my search seriously and make it a priority when a woman shows full interest in me, I can easily see me putting a wedding ring on my lady before I turn 32.

 

Another advantage that I do have is that I am a male and since women would typically follow a confident male and his direction in a relationship, I would have almost all of the power to decide how quickly a relationship that can lead to marriage so I have that going for me.

 

While I didn't put a certain time line as to when all of this will take place because even I don't know, I am confident everything will fall in place. I just need to take care of business and focus on what I really want first as my priority.

[xxoo]

Nearly everyone finds a partner in their 20s, even if it does not last. The ones who don't are the ones who don't really go after it, for whatever reason. They are either paralyzed by personal issues, or extremely focused on career or something else.

 

If you put yourself out there, and are open to finding connection rather than aiming for a certain "package", it is very difficult to avoid a relationship. People simply merge into pairs.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I just need to take care of business and focus on what I really want first as my priority.

 

 

Considering what "Loveweary" had stated about Jacksonville, as I'm familiar with such a similar area...you may want to start by relocating. LOL. THEN we can talk. ;-) You are what may consider "G.U." - Geographically Undesirable. I've been in Jacksonville, Fla. myself, not impressed in the least in the selection. If you want to stick around Florida, I suggest Orlando or Tampa.

 

I travel a lot and stay in the places for months at a time. The selection of girls in Jacksonville had to be one of the worst in the country.

 

There, you have the following problems with girls:

 

Odd genetics making for less than average attractiveness

No fashion at all..town center mall is as good as it gets? yikes

Literally all the grandmothers are even tatted head to toe

Redneck influences and that culture

Rampant pregnancy and low birth control rates

Lower education and wages

Weird attitudes where they seem nice on the surface but are really bitchy inside

 

It's a sad place, man.

 

You could check out: Orlando, Tampa, Gainesville, Atlanta, South Florida and many other cities across the country for better girls.

 

 

I am sure I will get married. Maybe not as soon as I would like but, with the cards being dealt with me, seeing the options that is on the table, and knowing that building a strong and happy family is my biggest priority in my life (everything else I am doing is only to work towards that main goal), I am sure I will get married eventually

 

It is even possible that I can get married before I turn 30 but, being realistic, I am not counting on it. But if I take my search seriously and make it a priority when a woman shows full interest in me, I can easily see me putting a wedding ring on my lady before I turn 32.

 

Another advantage that I do have is that I am a male and since women would typically follow a confident male and his direction in a relationship, I would have almost all of the power to decide how quickly a relationship that can lead to marriage so I have that going for me.

 

While I didn't put a certain time line as to when all of this will take place because even I don't know, I am confident everything will fall in place. I just need to take care of business and focus on what I really want first as my priority.

[Necris]

Nearly everyone finds a partner in their 20s, even if it does not last. The ones who don't are the ones who don't really go after it, for whatever reason. They are either paralyzed by personal issues, or extremely focused on career or something else.

 

If you put yourself out there, and are open to finding connection rather than aiming for a certain "package", it is very difficult to avoid a relationship. People simply merge into pairs.

 

For women maybe all one needs is to be open and just themselves out there but for men you have to do alot more than that you need to approach hundreds of women and get rejected work hard on your appearance have incredible social skills, etc. naturally some guys just luck out they can't compete with the other guys so they end up alone, hell I have uncle who is living proof of an over 40 year old man who has never had a relationship in his life despite supposedly trying to get dates and putting actual effort into it.

 

I got another uncle who has had only 1 relationship his entire life he even got a marriage out of it but the woman took half of what he owned, the kid, and was cheating on him the entire time. And though that happened over 25 years ago he still has been unable to find anyone since.

[LookAtThisPOst]

For women maybe all one needs is to be open and just themselves out there but for men you have to do alot more than that you need to approach hundreds of women and get rejected work hard on your appearance have incredible social skills, etc. naturally some guys just luck out they can't compete with the other guys so they end up alone, hell I have uncle who is living proof of an over 40 year old man who has never had a relationship in his life despite supposedly trying to get dates and putting actual effort into it.

 

I got another uncle who has had only 1 relationship his entire life he even got a marriage out of it but the woman took half of what he owned, the kid, and was cheating on him the entire time. And though that happened over 25 years ago he still has been unable to find anyone since.

 

Cripes, Necris...this thread even gets more depressing. Though, you're other uncle was raked over the coals, it appears STAYING single is a lot more appealing as marriages these days are almost guaranteed in not lasting...esp. since people feel free to not even WORK at keeping it together.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Nearly everyone finds a partner in their 20s, even if it does not last. The ones who don't are the ones who don't really go after it, for whatever reason. They are either paralyzed by personal issues, or extremely focused on career or something else.

 

If you put yourself out there, and are open to finding connection rather than aiming for a certain "package", it is very difficult to avoid a relationship. People simply merge into pairs.

 

That's not really true.

 

So many people think this. I really wish I could take you guys and show you my friends. A lot of them are nice, normal guys and never had a GF in their 20s.

 

I do think all guys COULD have had a girlfriend in their 20s. If they knew which women would be open to going out with them. That takes going through a lot of numbers and takes a certain degree of aggressiveness. And that degree of aggressiveness is not just casually socializing at a normal clip and it just happens for you.

 

I do think that among white and black Americans almost everybody has a girlfriend in their 20s, but among other demographics, you'd probably be shocked to see the numbers. But even one of my friends I described above is white, and he's one of my best friends.

 

Also, that was me too. I was a normal guy. Smoked pot, drank, went to a good college, socialized. Watch sports, like cool music, etc, etc. Nothing in my 20s. I hit on a lot of women too. I mean, granted, I wasn't the smoothest character, but I was still a normal guy who liked normal things and socialized a normal amount.

Edited May 10, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember

[JuneJulySeptember]

For women maybe all one needs is to be open and just themselves out there but for men you have to do alot more than that you need to approach hundreds of women and get rejected work hard on your appearance have incredible social skills, etc. naturally some guys just luck out they can't compete with the other guys so they end up alone, hell I have uncle who is living proof of an over 40 year old man who has never had a relationship in his life despite supposedly trying to get dates and putting actual effort into it.

 

I got another uncle who has had only 1 relationship his entire life he even got a marriage out of it but the woman took half of what he owned, the kid, and was cheating on him the entire time. And though that happened over 25 years ago he still has been unable to find anyone since.

 

I can think of eight guys off the top off my head who either I know never had a GF in their 20s or I assume to be the case.

 

Five are guys in my social circle through my 20s, and since I knew them during that period, I'm sure of it. Their social skills varied, and none were great, but they all got out and socialized. Now in their late 30s and up, one is married, two have serious GFs, one is kind of asexual (so he might belong in a different camp), the fifth has given up I think.

 

Three more from work, I cannot be sure of, but since any time I talk to them about dating, women, and GFs, they have no response, it's highly likely.

[ascendotum]

For once, there is a few people that mentions that there is more women then men on this Earth. Outside of the rare powerful people out there that is allowed to have harems of women, if men and women all get attached, there will be more single women than single men.

 

So for every guy out there, there is technically a woman for you.....

There are more males born than females. Women live longer though. Have a look at the M:F stats on your OLD site for 20-29 and then 60-69 demographics, though it wont truly represent the offline world it will give you an idea that 'technically' is not ideal.

[empresario]

That's not really true.

 

So many people think this. I really wish I could take you guys and show you my friends. A lot of them are nice, normal guys and never had a GF in their 20s.

 

I do think all guys COULD have had a girlfriend in their 20s. If they knew which women would be open to going out with them. That takes going through a lot of numbers and takes a certain degree of aggressiveness. And that degree of aggressiveness is not just casually socializing at a normal clip and it just happens for you.

 

I do think that among white and black Americans almost everybody has a girlfriend in their 20s, but among other demographics, you'd probably be shocked to see the numbers. But even one of my friends I described above is white, and he's one of my best friends.

 

Also, that was me too. I was a normal guy. Smoked pot, drank, went to a good college, socialized. Watch sports, like cool music, etc, etc. Nothing in my 20s. I hit on a lot of women too. I mean, granted, I wasn't the smoothest character, but I was still a normal guy who liked normal things and socialized a normal amount.

 

 

The more I read on this board, the more I feel like people are right...I should publically post information that has changed my life. I really don't want to because I feel like people are more likely to give things a chance if they feel like no one knows they're doing it...even if it is digital.

 

 

We are a generation of nice guys.

 

 

I really wish I had the disregard for my identity and could post before/after photos and accomplishments as well as what I did to get there. There is a very easy fix to the people you are referencing.

[Popsicle]

We all know of a "Jake" or "Chad" who are generally Very good looking, charming and have strong social skills( to a lesser extent they may also have alot of money). Jake and Chad do well with women. In fact they do so well, it seems as if no women can resist their charms. Then we have John and Mike. John and Mike aren't playboys by any stretch of the imagination. They do however manage to get a date or a girlfriend if they try hard enough.

 

Finally we have Billy and Timmy. Billy and Timmy both look far below the accepted threshold of the looks requirement to get a girlfriend. Men like Billy and Timmy will likely spend their whole life alone; Maybe if they're lucky enough a girl might fall their way, but Billy and Timmy aren't holding their breath. Billy and Timmy will likely attract women solely due to their salaries; If Billy and Timmy don't make enough dough... well then they'll be introduced to the world of WoW and pornography.

 

As much as many of us try to deny it, by and large we have all met Billys and Timmys. They are the acquaintances we know that never seem to have a girlfriend, despite being strictly heterosexual.

 

 

As much as some will try to deny it, In the dating game women are not dating men in an equal 1:1 ratio. More often it's One guy like Chad dating, hooking up with or having a one night stand with 5 or even 10 women. It is an ironic paradox; Women often complain that men are hungry sex hounds, yet will fall straight into the arms of Jakes and Chads, while avoiding Timmy and Billy like the plague.

 

Scientifically, however it makes perfect sense as it falls in line with Darwins theory of natural selection. So my question to you is: Which tier do you fall in? Jake and Chad? Mike and John? Or are you like me, just a typical Billy(minus the video games which I have never played in my life)

 

This is why marriage was invented. To guarantee that each man gets one woman.

[calvincline47]

Nearly everyone finds a partner in their 20s, even if it does not last. The ones who don't are the ones who don't really go after it, for whatever reason. They are either paralyzed by personal issues, or extremely focused on career or something else.

 

If you put yourself out there, and are open to finding connection rather than aiming for a certain "package", it is very difficult to avoid a relationship. People simply merge into pairs.

 

LOL no. For men, women don't simply drop out of the sky (like men do for women). Men typically have to put a lot of work into it (the worse looking the guy is, the harder he has to work).

 

That's not really true.

 

So many people think this. I really wish I could take you guys and show you my friends. A lot of them are nice, normal guys and never had a GF in their 20s.

 

I do think all guys COULD have had a girlfriend in their 20s. If they knew which women would be open to going out with them. That takes going through a lot of numbers and takes a certain degree of aggressiveness. And that degree of aggressiveness is not just casually socializing at a normal clip and it just happens for you.

 

I do think that among white and black Americans almost everybody has a girlfriend in their 20s, but among other demographics, you'd probably be shocked to see the numbers. But even one of my friends I described above is white, and he's one of my best friends.

 

Also, that was me too. I was a normal guy. Smoked pot, drank, went to a good college, socialized. Watch sports, like cool music, etc, etc. Nothing in my 20s. I hit on a lot of women too. I mean, granted, I wasn't the smoothest character, but I was still a normal guy who liked normal things and socialized a normal amount.

 

Most guys that I know (20s and 30s) are either juggling a bunch of girls or are married.

 

I'm actually the only one that I know that isn't doing either right now (and it's mostly due to my choices and the fact that I rarely socialize with others anymore).

 

But maybe we run in different circles. I knew tons of guys in college that constantly struck out (though many have had girlfriends since).

[calvincline47]

This is why marriage was invented. To guarantee that each man gets one woman.

 

Marriage is on the decline though....

[JuneJulySeptember]

The more I read on this board, the more I feel like people are right...I should publically post information that has changed my life. I really don't want to because I feel like people are more likely to give things a chance if they feel like no one knows they're doing it...even if it is digital.

 

 

We are a generation of nice guys.

 

 

I really wish I had the disregard for my identity and could post before/after photos and accomplishments as well as what I did to get there. There is a very easy fix to the people you are referencing.

 

 

Fix?

 

Like I mentioned above, those men are married or have girlfriends now. But it didn't happen in their 20s. And it took a lot more effort than letting it happen naturally.

 

I'm not even sure I would say for all women that it happens so naturally. The less attractive women have to put in some work too.

 

LOL no. For men, women don't simply drop out of the sky (like men do for women). Men typically have to put a lot of work into it (the worse looking the guy is, the harder he has to work).

 

Most guys that I know (20s and 30s) are either juggling a bunch of girls or are married.

 

I'm actually the only one that I know that isn't doing either right now (and it's mostly due to my choices and the fact that I rarely socialize with others anymore).

 

But maybe we run in different circles. I knew tons of guys in college that constantly struck out (though many have had girlfriends since).

 

I'm sure we do run in different circles.

 

The major point is that MOST people in their younger years run across this scenario.

 

"Boy meets girl. Boy and girl think that they are mutually cute and nice enough. Boy and girl start dating to see where it goes."

 

The only problem is there is a contingent of people who doesn't really meet people who think they are cute, so it's hard for them to create that initial spark. It's so hard to understand for some, because that initial spark is so easy. But me and for a lot of my friends (and apparently a lot of men who post online), it wasn't.

[calvincline47]

Fix?

 

Like I mentioned above, those men are married or have girlfriends now. But it didn't happen in their 20s. And it took a lot more effort than letting it happen naturally.

 

I'm not even sure I would say for all women that it happens so naturally. The less attractive women have to put in some work too.

 

 

 

I'm sure we do run in different circles.

 

The major point is that MOST people in their younger years run across this scenario.

 

"Boy meets girl. Boy and girl think that they are mutually cute and nice enough. Boy and girl start dating to see where it goes."

 

The only problem is there is a contingent of people who doesn't really meet people who think they are cute, so it's hard for them to create that initial spark. It's so hard to understand for some, because that initial spark is so easy. But me and for a lot of my friends (and apparently a lot of men who post online), it wasn't.

 

I agree with you.

 

I believe earlier in this thread, I wrote about the 2 good-looking guys, 5 average guys, and 2 ugly guys and their differing experiences.

 

There are definitely guys out there that wouldn't be able to get a girl to pee on them if they were on fire. Based on what I know about women, I am certain of this (even though I have rarely met these men IRL).

[Rejected Rosebud]

A lot is perspective too.

 

I have noticed that of all the women who have responded to me from OLD, none of them wear any makeup. Granted, it is a very small sample size.

 

I think women who really care about looks will maximize their looks and go after the Chad and Jakes. Women who care less so, will not and will not.

I think you might be a little off base about the makeup!! It's pretty much just a thing that some girls do, wear make-up I mean, and others just don't ever. I don't think it has anything to do with Chad, Jake, Timmy and Billy or any of those guys!

[salparadise]

This is why marriage was invented. To guarantee that each man gets one woman.

 

This why monogamy was invented... to distribute the women more evenly, giving the average man a chance at domestic bliss.

 

If the intent was to guarantee each man one woman, then they should have included the language.... "If you cannot afford a lawyer wife, one will be provided for you."

[Els]

Eh. I hung out in a large, very geeky, not-so-popular social circle back when I was in college, that was predominantly male. ALL of the guys in it had had at least one relationship (albeit short-lived) before. Half of them had their first relationship at an earlier age than I did.

 

So to be honest I'm not really seeing this 'epidemic' of less-popular guys having immense trouble with girls. I've yet to meet a guy who has NEVER had ANY attention from ANY girl. Sure, you have standards, blah blah, and you don't want to settle. Good - don't. But stop acting like getting any female attention is the equivalent of extracting Excalibur out of a cold hard rock. Incompatibilities happen, and sometimes you like people who don't like you back. That is not the same thing, and it happens to women too, btw.

 

Also, maybe if you don't perceive women as objects that can actually be 'hoarded', you might do a little better. Just sayin'.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Eh. I hung out in a large, very geeky, not-so-popular social circle back when I was in college, that was predominantly male. ALL of the guys in it had had at least one relationship (albeit short-lived) before. Half of them had their first relationship at an earlier age than I did.

 

So to be honest I'm not really seeing this 'epidemic' of less-popular guys having immense trouble with girls. I've yet to meet a guy who has NEVER had ANY attention from ANY girl. Sure, you have standards, blah blah, and you don't want to settle. Good - don't. But stop acting like getting any female attention is the equivalent of extracting Excalibur out of a cold hard rock. Incompatibilities happen, and sometimes you like people who don't like you back. That is not the same thing, and it happens to women too, btw.

 

Also, maybe if you don't perceive women as objects that can actually be 'hoarded', you might do a little better. Just sayin'.

 

Well, (and this me being totally objective with a poster I used to argue against), keep in mind that we or at least I am not really saying those guys couldn't have gotten a GF in their 20s.

 

More of what I'm saying is that 1) no women thought those guys were attractive off the bat and 2) it didn't happen naturally. So, it would have definitely taken some well placed effort. Are there women in that situation? Of course there are.

 

Every woman that I went the friends first route in my 20s rejected me, and I was rejected by dozens of others. Was I the smoothest surfboard in the shed? No. But still. Like I said, I was pretty normal.

 

And yea. My sister didn't go to her prom because no guy would take her. Does that make her a loser? Not in my book.

 

I mean even when you say "Well everybody in my totally geeky circle managed to get someone by 22", there's some 35 year old woman who has never been hit on saying "@#$% me". We both know there is.

Edited May 12, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember

[LookAtThisPOst]

When I was in college. I got my very first date...in my life. ..at the age of 24. She asked ME out. Lol.

 

 

Well, (and this me being totally objective with a poster I used to argue against), keep in mind that we or at least I am not really saying those guys couldn't have gotten a GF in their 20s.

 

More of what I'm saying is that 1) no women thought those guys were attractive off the bat and 2) it didn't happen naturally. So, it would have definitely taken some well placed effort. Are there women in that situation? Of course there are.

 

Every woman that I went the friends first route in my 20s rejected me, and I was rejected by dozens of others. Was I the smoothest surfboard in the shed? No. But still. Like I said, I was pretty normal.

 

And yea. My sister didn't go to her prom because no guy would take her. Does that make her a loser? Not in my book.

 

I mean even when you say "Well everybody in my totally geeky circle managed to get someone by 22", there's some 35 year old woman who has never been hit on saying "@#$% me". We both know there is.

[Els]

I mean even when you say "Well everybody in my totally geeky circle managed to get someone by 22", there's some 35 year old woman who has never been hit on saying "@#$% me". We both know there is.

 

Actually, I know more women than men above the age of 25 who have never been in a relationship. But that's besides the point - the point is that all of those people who have never been in a R (of both sexes) didn't really have 'relationships' as a high priority in life, so they didn't go out much. Nothing wrong with that. All I'm saying is that IF they want it, it's not as 'impossible' as some make it out to be for men.

 

The rest of your post appears to agree with me.

[JuneJulySeptember]

When I was in college. I got my very first date...in my life. ..at the age of 24. She asked ME out. Lol.

 

I have still never been asked out and 24 was a looooong time age.

 

I think sometimes we get so caught up in the men vs women argument that we don't stop to see that there are always outliers.

 

Men always say, "Well any woman with a vagina gets hit on and could get a boyfriend." Well, somewhere out there, there is a woman saying, "Well I haven't. @#$% me. :("

[dgf]

We all know of a "Jake" or "Chad" who are generally Very good looking, charming and have strong social skills( to a lesser extent they may also have alot of money). Jake and Chad do well with women. In fact they do so well, it seems as if no women can resist their charms. Then we have John and Mike. John and Mike aren't playboys by any stretch of the imagination. They do however manage to get a date or a girlfriend if they try hard enough.

 

Finally we have Billy and Timmy. Billy and Timmy both look far below the accepted threshold of the looks requirement to get a girlfriend. Men like Billy and Timmy will likely spend their whole life alone; Maybe if they're lucky enough a girl might fall their way, but Billy and Timmy aren't holding their breath. Billy and Timmy will likely attract women solely due to their salaries; If Billy and Timmy don't make enough dough... well then they'll be introduced to the world of WoW and pornography.

 

As much as many of us try to deny it, by and large we have all met Billys and Timmys. They are the acquaintances we know that never seem to have a girlfriend, despite being strictly heterosexual.

 

 

As much as some will try to deny it, In the dating game women are not dating men in an equal 1:1 ratio. More often it's One guy like Chad dating, hooking up with or having a one night stand with 5 or even 10 women. It is an ironic paradox; Women often complain that men are hungry sex hounds, yet will fall straight into the arms of Jakes and Chads, while avoiding Timmy and Billy like the plague.

 

Scientifically, however it makes perfect sense as it falls in line with Darwins theory of natural selection. So my question to you is: Which tier do you fall in? Jake and Chad? Mike and John? Or are you like me, just a typical Billy(minus the video games which I have never played in my life)

This is completely accurate but do not expect the so called fairer gender to agree. It's obvious that Timmy and Billy are guys who will reach their 30s and 40s with no long term relationships and are likely virgins and may never have even gotten a real date.

 

Prepare for the female response. Girls who have had several relationships before 30 but haven't found their guy will claim to be female versions of Timmy or Billy. Wrong. Mike and John is an accurTe comparison. ANd females all over are holding out for Jake or Chad. An absurdly high number. Some will end up settling for Mike or John and some of those will have affairs with Jake or Chad.

[dgf]

Oh, hey, I'm a female Billy!

 

Never knew what to call myself until now.

 

Like I predicted. I knew it.

 

 

You're posting history says otherwise. You're no female Billy. A female Mike.

[dgf]

I think there are many men who are so concerned about the hierarchy of men that they fixate on those men that THEY see as superior and don’t even notice the swath of regular, non-spectacular men who are forging and sustaining happy, positive relationships. Pecking order maybe.

 

It's the ladies who create this pecking order by agreeing to share these hot guys.