Top tier men are hoarding all the women

[LookAtThisPOst]

I think there's a bit too much emphasis being put on physical appearance as a primary marker for women. We do tend to like other traits too, and some even more than being nice looking. Style, confidence, etc. Less physically attractive guys can have those things too.

 

When it comes to online dating, as its quite common these days, I think looks is pretty much what does it for a woman.

 

They just thumb through it like a catalog, "Too short, too bald, too ugly...facial hair..next. ...next...next..."

 

Recently saw a woman with a dating profile with a brief, on sentence intro...and "You must be at least 5'11" (and she was only 5'4"). Seen many profiles like this, too.

[elaine567]

Recently saw a woman with a dating profile with a brief, on sentence intro...and "You must be at least 5'11" (and she was only 5'4"). Seen many profiles like this, too.

 

 

You cannot fit a round peg into a square hole, everyone likes what they like.

The fact she is 5'4 is immaterial, she wants a taller man. She is entitled to voice her preferences.

So what do you suggest? She dates smaller men and dumps them forthwith as she doesn't find them attractive?

Bit of a waste of time for all concerned, no?.

[salparadise]

Personally, I don't see women going for money very often because they can support themselves these days. Then again, I do have money, but don't flaunt it so it may be assumed that I don't have any money.

 

In any event, I think women care way more about looks. I remember in another thread here, someone wrote that out of 9 guys, you can have 2 very good-looking ones that will literally get every girl they want without effort. Then, you will have 5 guys that are above average to average looking and will do okay with women, but will have to put in a ton of effort. Finally, you have 2 unfortunate souls that are ugly and will either not get any girls at all or will be settled for.

 

I'm one of the 5 guys. So I do okay with women, but, generally, have to put in effort (which I hate doing).

 

The reason you don't see women going for money is that you have money. I'm not sure what scale we're talking about here, but I guarantee you that if you're one of the 5 in the middle who has to work for it, and you have money... without it you'd be demoted.

 

Women are attracted to money the same way they're attracted to quality genetics. It's hard-wired because it is a reproductive advantage. If a woman is attractive and has the self-confidence that typically goes with it, then she's going to expect a certain lifestyle. If she has money herself then she will expect a man to be at least as affluent as she is. If she has no money herself then she'll be looking for a lifestyle upgrade. I'm not saying that there aren't exceptions- but as a rule that's the way it works.

[LookAtThisPOst]

The reason you don't see women going for money is that you have money. I'm not sure what scale we're talking about here, but I guarantee you that if you're one of the 5 in the middle who has to work for it, and you have money... without it you'd be demoted.

 

Women are attracted to money the same way they're attracted to quality genetics. It's hard-wired because it is a reproductive advantage. If a woman is attractive and has the self-confidence that typically goes with it, then she's going to expect a certain lifestyle. If she has money herself then she will expect a man to be at least as affluent as she is. If she has no money herself then she'll be looking for a lifestyle upgrade. I'm not saying that there aren't exceptions- but as a rule that's the way it works.

 

Sure...but if it's a relationship doomed for failure in the future...this is something she should consider as well. The big picture. It would be irresponsible not to consider the consequences, which are usually not to pretty, of dating a wealthy man. Unfortunately, the regrets come after-the-fact.

[Mr Carson]

I think there's a lot whining going on here. Maybe you guys should get off the internet, and out of the bars. I think it's BS that you have to be a Jake to get a gf or get laid. I had a friend who was a Jake twice his gf's tried to sleep with me. I'm a 6-7 he was a 10. Women would just walk up to him and give him their number. That never happened to me, but I got just as many girls as he did, I just had to go after them. He had the looks but once a girl got to know me I could've stolen his gf. So BS that it's all looks any money, women are deeper than that, not all but a good majority are.

[loveweary11]

When it comes to online dating, as its quite common these days, I think looks is pretty much what does it for a woman.

 

They just thumb through it like a catalog, "Too short, too bald, too ugly...facial hair..next. ...next...next..."

 

Recently saw a woman with a dating profile with a brief, on sentence intro...and "You must be at least 5'11" (and she was only 5'4"). Seen many profiles like this, too.

 

Isn't that what you do?

 

I know that's what I do. I kid you not, I injured my wrist for an evening left swiping my way through about 1,000 tinder profiles. I write to maybe 3 out of 1000 girls in OLD. I respond to maybe 20% of my inbox.

 

I recently said sorry to the hottest blonde/blue supermodel with big boobs who wrote to my NY based profile. She was 5'9". That's way too tall for me.

 

Point is, we all do this.

[elaine567]

I think there are obviously attractiveness leagues but they are not set in stone as far as women are concerned.

They are fluid, and as Mr Carson pointed out, being attractive to women is not all about straight looks, it is a lot more complicated than that.

 

I guess if it is true that men are highly visual, then many here are projecting their thoughts re attractiveness onto women and that doesn't always add up.

[elaine567]

Everyone wants what is the best deal for them, and men are also attracted to money. That is not just a female pursuit.

So beautiful girl with nice body and lovely personality, wearing designer gear with rich parents and daddy has a yacht, is going to be more hotly pursued by men as a long term prospect, than beautiful girl with nice body and lovely personality, wearing supermarket clobber, both parents on welfare and she lives in a trailer park

[LookAtThisPOst]

Isn't that what you do?

 

I know that's what I do. I kid you not, I injured my wrist for an evening left swiping my way through about 1,000 tinder profiles. I write to maybe 3 out of 1000 girls in OLD. I respond to maybe 20% of my inbox.

 

I recently said sorry to the hottest blonde/blue supermodel with big boobs who wrote to my NY based profile. She was 5'9". That's way too tall for me.

 

Point is, we all do this.

 

"5'9" is too tall for you?" said no man ever. The big boobs would've done it for me...I'm a boob guy. LOL

[loveweary11]

"5'9" is too tall for you?" said no man ever. The big boobs would've done it for me...I'm a boob guy. LOL

 

 

Definitely!

 

5'2" and under is my preference. Maybe I'll go as high as 5"4".

 

I'm really drawn to hot/cute girls who are both. Height plays a role in cuteness as do more rounded features.

 

I'm just saying we all like different stuff.

[salparadise]

Everyone wants what is the best deal for them, and men are also attracted to money. That is not just a female pursuit.

 

So beautiful girl with nice body and lovely personality, wearing designer gear with rich parents and daddy has a yacht, is going to be more hotly pursued by men as a long term prospect, than beautiful girl with nice body and lovely personality, wearing supermarket clobber, both parents on welfare and she lives in a trailer park

 

Yes, in the context I am speaking of it is most certainly a female pursuit.

 

Women have upward mobility based on attractiveness. Historically, the men with the most wealth/status/power have been the ones who get the most attractive women - wars were fought over beautiful women - that's how it works.

 

Yachts and trailer parks? Eh, if you put a beautiful trailer park babe up against a homely or downright ugly woman whose daddy own a yacht... the trailer park babe moves up and out, and the homely rich girl probably becomes a spinster.

 

Making up one hypothetical exception to a rule, even if it were true in one instance, does not invalidate the rule.

[oldshirt]

I believe the logic is that yes, the "unattractive" women will at least be able to have sex with Chad and Jake, and will compete with the other women for Chad and Jake, but won't have a chance at a relationship. Only sex.

 

At least, this is what I have gathered from this forum. I have yet to actually see this phenomenon take place in real life *shrug*

 

This is pretty much on the money. Chad and Jake do have sex with plain and unattractive women, but would never enter into an exclusive relationship with them.

 

 

And I HAVE seen this phenomenon take place all the time in real life and question the authenticity of your claim that you haven't. You've never heard one of your girlfriends boo-booing that she hooked up with some hot guy and he never called after that??? That was Chad/Jake taking her home from the bar to relieve some tension, but saving his relationship time and energies for a different market share. My guess is you have seen this countless times.

 

 

Yes over time the more plain and lesser attractive men do filter down to the lesser men but by the time they get down to the Billys and Timmys, they've been picked over and left behind by the Chad/Jakes and rode hard and hung up wet and may have quite a bit of baggage over it.

 

 

I think the real take-away message for young guys here is don't be a slacker. Attractive women are going to have their pick of the guys and they are going to go for the best that they can get. It's not their job to give lesser men a fair chance. It's your job to be the best that you can so that you have a fighting chance.

 

 

Be as healthy and as fit as you can. Groom and style to the best of your ability. Stay up on men's fashions and styles as you can. Strive to be as successful and influential as you can and get out and learn as many social skills and get out and interact with people as best you can. The better you are, the better off your success with women will be.

 

 

Spend your days in your mom's basement playing video games with your slacker buddies, eating Hot Pockets and drinking giant slurpys and getting skinny-fat and wearing rags, and you will be lucky to get Two-Ton Tiny from down the street.

 

 

Genetics plays a role as does the socio-economic status of the family you were born into, but hard work and dedication and putting in the effort goes a lot farther.

 

 

There are a lot of guys that if they took the time and energy they put into porn, video games, internet surfing etc and put it into health, fitness, social activities, develop skills, going on legitimate dates etc etc they would be swim'n in women.

 

 

The general thesis of the opening post is true, top-tier men get the women while the basement boys hope they can get lucky some day out of the blue.

[jen1447]

I guess if it is true that men are highly visual, then many here are projecting their thoughts re attractiveness onto women and that doesn't always add up.

It almost never adds up. I always love it when I see or hear a man start to pontificate on what women are thinking ....it's almost as unlikely to be accurate as when we try to pontificate on what men are thinking.

 

No doubt women screen dating profiles on a variety of characteristics. We do that IRL life too. But those are characteristics that we make evaluations of compatibility on - height ratios, body type preferences, amount of hair, etc. Those things aren't necessarily "hawt!" evaluations. I doubt many women are looking thru profiles thinking "makes, me wet, doesn't make me wet."

 

On the unattractive women sleeping with Jake and Chad as well thing, that's still invalid in the context of OP's original premise, which is that Jake and Chad get ALL the women and that no one else gets any. If that were true, no unattractive woman would ever be in a relationship, nor would any unattractive man, and those implications are obviously false. That means thread premise is untrue. Sorry.

 

Reality check - if you read between the lines in most threads like these, you clearly see cries for help or acting out from a butthurt guy who's chosen to blame the world for his failures and disadvantages rather than pick himself back up when he gets knocked down like everyone else has to. No offense to anyone, but that's pretty much all it is.

[No Limit]

Sorry but trying to generalize attraction can only fail. A friend of mine could go on a catwalk with her looks but she's never had a BF anywhere near attractive in the 'mainstream male attractiveness chart'. Then there's a less good looking friend of mine who's only been with hotties. Heck, most married men or women "affair down" and take whatver they can get, even sacrifice stable lives for a life under a bridge, so even wealth won't matter at some point.

 

Everyone has a different taste. It might sound supernatural for some but chances are there's someone out there who looks at you and gets the "love at first sight" butterflies, even if you don't match the appearance of some TV show character.

[Phoe]

And I HAVE seen this phenomenon take place all the time in real life and question the authenticity of your claim that you haven't. You've never heard one of your girlfriends boo-booing that she hooked up with some hot guy and he never called after that??? That was Chad/Jake taking her home from the bar to relieve some tension, but saving his relationship time and energies for a different market share. My guess is you have seen this countless times.

 

No, I haven't had girl friends boo hooing about it, because I only have a handful of girl friends and they are all either married, engaged, or in long term relationship and were never the hook up type.

 

And I personally have never experienced it myself, either.

 

The rare women I do know that have a history of hooking up, usually do it the exact opposite way. They're the ones not calling the men. They're the ones being the players and stringing along the men. The men are the ones boo hooing.

 

But that's not a common dynamic anyway.

[calvincline47]

The reason you don't see women going for money is that you have money. I'm not sure what scale we're talking about here, but I guarantee you that if you're one of the 5 in the middle who has to work for it, and you have money... without it you'd be demoted.

 

Nah, I did just as well with women when I had no money. Actually, time is more important than money when trying to attract women for the average guy.

 

Also, I don't live like I have money. Most of my money is tied up in investments. I drive a 10 year old car and live in a small apartment. I don't dress in a flashy way and don't spend a lot of money. So, to the outside observer, it doesn't seem like I have a lot of money.

 

Women are attracted to money the same way they're attracted to quality genetics. It's hard-wired because it is a reproductive advantage. If a woman is attractive and has the self-confidence that typically goes with it, then she's going to expect a certain lifestyle. If she has money herself then she will expect a man to be at least as affluent as she is. If she has no money herself then she'll be looking for a lifestyle upgrade. I'm not saying that there aren't exceptions- but as a rule that's the way it works.

 

This is not what I've seen.

 

I work in a field where there are a significant amount of high earning women. Many of them make financial compromises in their partners, but they rarely (if ever) date anyone that doesn't look exactly like their type (and most women have a similar "type"). And if they do date outside of that type, they act as if they're doing the guy a favor.

 

This begins to change though when a woman hits her 30s and her clock starts ticking (if she wants children).

[calvincline47]

I think there's a lot whining going on here. Maybe you guys should get off the internet, and out of the bars. I think it's BS that you have to be a Jake to get a gf or get laid. I had a friend who was a Jake twice his gf's tried to sleep with me. I'm a 6-7 he was a 10. Women would just walk up to him and give him their number. That never happened to me, but I got just as many girls as he did, I just had to go after them. He had the looks but once a girl got to know me I could've stolen his gf. So BS that it's all looks any money, women are deeper than that, not all but a good majority are.

 

This is exactly what many of us are saying.

 

Good-looking guys don't have to put any effort in. Average to slightly above average looking guys need to put in a TON of work to get even half of what these other guys get.

 

For the record, I traditionally do okay with women, but I resent how much effort I have to put forth and, therefore, don't really try anymore.

[calvincline47]

I think there are obviously attractiveness leagues but they are not set in stone as far as women are concerned.

They are fluid, and as Mr Carson pointed out, being attractive to women is not all about straight looks, it is a lot more complicated than that.

 

I guess if it is true that men are highly visual, then many here are projecting their thoughts re attractiveness onto women and that doesn't always add up.

 

There's definitely set-in-stone leagues when it comes to height. Height is part of looks. Therefore, there are set-in-stone leagues when it comes to looks.

[elaine567]

For the record, I traditionally do okay with women, but I resent how much effort I have to put forth and, therefore, don't really try anymore.

 

Is that not cutting off your nose to spite your face?

 

Also, I don't live like I have money. Most of my money is tied up in investments. I drive a 10 year old car and live in a small apartment. I don't dress in a flashy way and don't spend a lot of money. So, to the outside observer, it doesn't seem like I have a lot of money.

 

And what exactly are you saving for?

 

Seem a lot of self sacrifice and self denial going on here.

[calvincline47]

Is that not cutting off your nose to spite your face?

 

No, it's not. It just takes way too much effort to get these girls. I don't want to constantly spend money on a girl and waste my time and then have her suddenly lose interest for no apparent reason.

 

 

And what exactly are you saving for?

 

Seem a lot of self sacrifice and self denial going on here.

 

There's no self-sacrifice. I don't spend money because I don't want to. I like my lifestyle and I don't like being flashy. My point is that I don't look like I have money. Never have.

 

And what denial? I'm saying that women don't really care about money. Shouldn't you be agreeing with me and saying something like "All women are delicate angels and love you for you!" or some other such BS cliche?

[Phoe]

"5'9" is too tall for you?" said no man ever. The big boobs would've done it for me...I'm a boob guy. LOL

 

I'm 5'8 and men have called me too tall for them. It happens.

[elaine567]

No, it's not. It just takes way too much effort to get these girls. I don't want to constantly spend money on a girl and waste my time and then have her suddenly lose interest for no apparent reason.

 

But surely that is not necessarily going to happen, is it?

[calvincline47]

But surely that is not necessarily going to happen, is it?

 

It will happen most of the time.

[empresario]

Hah. I've said it before. I was billy my whole life and worked my way up. You don't have to stay at the level you're currently at. I even had the WoW and porn addiction!

 

I would say it sucks it took until after college...but not really. Since then I've been doing pretty well. And in school it allowed me to focus on my education since I knew women hated me anyways.

[Necris]

I actually don't know any Billys or Timmys in real life. Guys who have never had a girlfriend? Nope. Yes, I knew some guys in high school who struggled, but they came into their own in their 20s and/or 30s and eventually found someone. I think it's really rare for a man to spend his entire life alone and never have a girlfriend. And the guys who struggled were struggling because they were either going after women who were way out of their league or simply weren't putting themselves out there and asking women out on dates. You can't expect to spend 90% of your time in your house surfing the Internet, watching porn, and playing video games and still meet someone to date. You have to be somewhat social. And maybe the Billys and Timmys of the world should go after the Brendas and Tammys of the world, their own female equivalent who struggle with dating. Those women are out there, too.

 

Anyway, mathematically your argument just doesn't hold water. Although women may be naturally inclined to go to the charismatic and confident Chad and Jake types, you can see just by looking around you that those aren't the only men who have girlfriends or get married. If that were the case, a huge percentage of both men and women would be unattached. I see plenty of unattractive, broke guys with girlfriends and wives.

 

But I suppose it's easier to blame the top tier guys for your own lack of success.

 

But what if a guy does go and try to meet girls and puts legit effort into it and actually approaches girls but never has any success, at best a date a year and that date never goes anywhere. Then what?