smackie9 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Everyone has different values, that's why you are going to get left or right and not much in between, but in the end it's up to the OP, and how they view their situation. So everyone needs to get off their soap boxes on this one. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Man bashing is not being a feminist....Man bashing is sexist. I hate it when people misuse the meaning behind what a true feminist is. Man bashing is not feminist but most of what passes for modern feminism these days is man bashing. Its an empty shell of what the movement used to be. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Because I am a Girl - Empowering Girls and Women true feminism is alive and well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Smackie, I like a lot of your stuff, especially your dating advice to guys which is honest and spot on. But you're a bit out of whack on here. I've been to strip clubs, I enjoyed them and it didn't lower my opinion of women. Hookers and strippers, I already had a low opinion of. They aren't all women, they're not even 5% of women. I've never slept with prostitutes because they gross me out and because I'd rather whack off or sleep with an ugly women than pay $300 for 20 mins of condom sex with a really nasty women. Not because I have high opinion of women, which wouldn't make any sense because women are individuals. So to say a guy has low opinion of women because he goes to strip clubs and sees hookers is ludicrous. Also you're always on the threads about women's sexual past and how it shouldn't matter and men need not worry about that. Double standard much? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Smackie, I like a lot of your stuff, especially your dating advice to guys which is honest and spot on. But you're a bit out of whack on here. I've been to strip clubs, I enjoyed them and it didn't lower my opinion of women. Hookers and strippers, I already had a low opinion of. They aren't all women, they're not even 5% of women. I've never slept with prostitutes because they gross me out and because I'd rather whack off or sleep with an ugly women than pay $300 for 20 mins of condom sex with a really nasty women. Not because I have high opinion of women, which wouldn't make any sense because women are individuals. So to say a guy has low opinion of women because he goes to strip clubs and sees hookers is ludicrous. Also you're always on the threads about women's sexual past and how it shouldn't matter and men need not worry about that. Double standard much? I have been to strip clubs too! with my mates in college, with my husband and his friends....someof the best clubs in Vancouver. I have known stripper and ex strippers (most coke heads but whatever). It's really not my opinions but the opinion of women who are looking for a solid relationship and husband. Sure anyone can give the benefit of a doubt and you know what good for them. Everyone can deserve a chance, but not everyone feels comfortable giving chances. So it's a 50/50. Not everyone is going to be OK with, while others can. There is no wrong or right, it's up to the OP to make that determination whether she wants to chance it or not. And btw I like porn too Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 How far in the past? Was this just a phase and it's behind him? I would be more worried about his fascination with strip clubs as you talk about it in present tense. Without anymore information on him my mind goes to 'sex addiction'. He presents some of the symptoms. This. If he's still a strip club "afficianado" IMO he's proably stull using escorts. I'd deal break him. If he didn't do either anymore and said he was at a dark place in his life and is ashamed of his past and has moved on/swore that lifestyle off, that would be easier to seallow but it doesn't sound like he's there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Just to let everyone know, some of what I say is references from my friends/coworkers say. Well all know most of the crap on here is just generalizing, so don't take it literally. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 To be on topic, I think if it really turns op off, then she'll have to cut him loose. Maybe in the future the shock will wear off. :dunno: Do the benefits of being with him outweigh the risks? Smackie, I like a lot of your stuff, especially your dating advice to guys which is honest and spot on. But you're a bit out of whack on here. I've been to strip clubs, I enjoyed them and it didn't lower my opinion of women. Hookers and strippers, I already had a low opinion of. They aren't all women, they're not even 5% of women. I've never slept with prostitutes because they gross me out and because I'd rather whack off or sleep with an ugly women than pay $300 for 20 mins of condom sex with a really nasty women. Not because I have high opinion of women, which wouldn't make any sense because women are individuals. So to say a guy has low opinion of women because he goes to strip clubs and sees hookers is ludicrous. Also you're always on the threads about women's sexual past and how it shouldn't matter and men need not worry about that. Double standard much? If you're whackin off to porn, that's prostitution on camera/ media. One could argue that generally speaking prostitutes are cleaner than porn stars. How often to porn stars wear condoms? Hookers are usually safer than that, and they're not all $300 hr esp in this day and age. Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 "Also you're always on the threads about women's sexual past and how it shouldn't matter and men need not worry about that. Double standard much?" "The past is in the past" doen't count if it's something they don't like but this brigade is the one that shoot themselves in the foot because they won't ask so they don't have to reveal themselves. They could be with a guy who went through a gay phase (not that there's anything wrong with that) and gives better h*ad than she does but they'll never know :lmao: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Off topic, human trafficking/sex slavery is bigger than ever because of the internet....more gang involvement, more violence, younger girls (10 to 12), because there is more profit to be made and less likely to get caught. They just keep moving the girls across the country, all drugged up working 24/7 till they die or escape if they can. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Off topic, human trafficking/sex slavery is bigger than ever because of the internet....more gang involvement, more violence, younger girls (10 to 12), because there is more profit to be made and less likely to get caught. They just keep moving the girls across the country, all drugged up working 24/7 till they die or escape if they can. This is a good reason for legalization. Bring it out in the open and let them be protected by Labor laws. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 "Also you're always on the threads about women's sexual past and how it shouldn't matter and men need not worry about that. Double standard much?" "The past is in the past" doen't count if it's something they don't like but this brigade is the one that shoot themselves in the foot because they won't ask so they don't have to reveal themselves. They could be with a guy who went through a gay phase (not that there's anything wrong with that) and gives better h*ad than she does but they'll never know :lmao: Dating is a crap shoot, you never really know what you are going to get. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 I have been to strip clubs too! with my mates in college, with my husband and his friends....someof the best clubs in Vancouver. I have known stripper and ex strippers (most coke heads but whatever). It's really not my opinions but the opinion of women who are looking for a solid relationship and husband. Sure anyone can give the benefit of a doubt and you know what good for them. Everyone can deserve a chance, but not everyone feels comfortable giving chances. So it's a 50/50. Not everyone is going to be OK with, while others can. There is no wrong or right, it's up to the OP to make that determination whether she wants to chance it or not. And btw I like porn too So why wouldn't he make a solid relationship husband? He was craving sex and some women said he had to pay for it, so he agreed. Let's be real. Do you think he would've paid for it if he had an attractive women who was willing and able? I watch porn, but I don't think I'd actually touch one of those chicks, especially after seeing them fu*k someone else and knowing they screw for a living Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 To be on topic, I think if it really turns op off, then she'll have to cut him loose. Maybe in the future the shock will wear off. :dunno: Do the benefits of being with him outweigh the risks? If you're whackin off to porn, that's prostitution on camera/ media. One could argue that generally speaking prostitutes are cleaner than porn stars. How often to porn stars wear condoms? Hookers are usually safer than that, and they're not all $300 hr esp in this day and age. They're all nasty to me, they're just cool to look at. Everybody watches porn, but not everybody pays prostitutes. I heard $300 an hr on a documentary. I know the ugly ones are cheaper, so what $100 for a 20 min nut with some nasty hoe? Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 They're all nasty to me, they're just cool to look at. Everybody watches porn, but not everybody pays prostitutes. I heard $300 an hr on a documentary. I know the ugly ones are cheaper, so what $100 for a 20 min nut with some nasty hoe? Ok, so porn is a fine kind of prostitution because everyone (supposedly) does it. Using peoples bodies is using peoples bodies. Getting paid for sex is getting paid for sex. Wow@ nasty hoe. I hope in the future people can be less judgmental, on both sides. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Ok, so porn is a fine kind of prostitution because everyone (supposedly) does it. Using peoples bodies is using peoples bodies. Getting paid for sex is getting paid for sex. Wow@ nasty hoe. I hope in the future people can be less judgmental, on both sides. That's BS, we all make judgments, everyday, it helps us stay out of trouble. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Everyone has a right to make their own judgement. If it doesn't make them comfortable dating someone with this sort of background then that is THEIR choice not to see them fit to be a husband, simple as that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 That's BS, we all make judgments, everyday, it helps us stay out of trouble. Tru dat............ Link to post Share on other sites
Author EveAFlame Posted April 13, 2015 Author Share Posted April 13, 2015 How did this come up in conversation? ^^^^this ^^^^ is very important. and is why you should not take this relationship any further. The fact he has been with hookers turns you off, it disgusts you, if you were honest. You, instead of enjoying sex with him, will mentally see him f*cking some hooker, wondering if she was better, hotter, sexier and also wondering if he went to hookers because "normal" sex just doesn't do it for him. You will also start to wonder if after a while of being with you, he will need his hooker "fix" and as hookers are always available, then that will make you paranoid. The stripper fixation he seems to have too, will make you insecure re your own body. All in all, a bad idea for you, to pursue this further. Some may be able to cope and put his hooker/stripper past into a box and never give it a second thought, I very much doubt that you could do that. We were just talking about our lives and histories and it came up. He was very upfront and honest about it. It's like you reached into my head and pulled out my insecurities. "Are the hookers hotter than me? Are they better at oral sex? Is he fantasizing about THEM and repulsed by ME?" To the people arguing over the greater implications of the sex trade...can you not do that here? I'm having a hard enough time reconciling SWEET FUNNY CUTE GUY with STRIPPER LOVING ESCORT SCREWING GUY. I don't want to get into the whole moral morass too! Sad day. Well thanks everyone! Good thoughts for me. And this has really reinforced my resolution to be ok with speaking my mind and setting my boundaries. Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 People need to be less judgmental towards the sex workers. They're people with feelings too As far as the issue with the OP and this guy, she needs to ascertain whether it was a "phase" or something that is still current. I got the vibe that he still frequents hookers/strip clubs, which could be an issue if she decides to move forward with him. I'll go out and say its normal for most guys to go to a strip club once in a great while like every year or two. But if this guy is going like once a month, that's clearly an addiction. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
erodeox Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 The second thing he did wrong was blab to her like she was his counselor. Yeah, if you want get serious with a girl, never expose your weakness in ways like counselling... Tested and proved a few years ago lol. Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 Yeah, if you want get serious with a girl, never expose your weakness in ways like counselling... Tested and proved a few years ago lol. You never expose your weaknesses PERIOD, it'll drive a Woman away before you know what happened. Secrets like past escapades with hookers and strippers can be locked away until WAAAAY later... People who think being upfront early on is the best policy because she has a "right to know" before things get serious - they're blowing smoke. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 That's BS, we all make judgments, everyday, it helps us stay out of trouble. It also helps us stay hypocritical. This is just a variation of "Im a man and can ask for sex (fine), but if a woman gives it up shes naaaasty!" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 Wow, extremely harsh people here. But I guess for OP it is a deal breaker if it makes her "skin crawl" Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 We were just talking about our lives and histories and it came up. He was very upfront and honest about it. It's like you reached into my head and pulled out my insecurities. "Are the hookers hotter than me? Are they better at oral sex? Is he fantasizing about THEM and repulsed by ME?" To the people arguing over the greater implications of the sex trade...can you not do that here? I'm having a hard enough time reconciling SWEET FUNNY CUTE GUY with STRIPPER LOVING ESCORT SCREWING GUY. I don't want to get into the whole moral morass too! Sad day. Well thanks everyone! Good thoughts for me. And this has really reinforced my resolution to be ok with speaking my mind and setting my boundaries. Keep us posted! Do you think hed do all that stuff while dating you? Link to post Share on other sites
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