struggling, missing her so much

[Charlie101]

That's exactly it mate I'm bettering myself and she's just jumping from one to the other without changing anything she'll never tie a proper one down but hey that's her problem now....

 

At least it gives me closure on the matter and that final bit of hope is gone

[xinaxxsdertf]

yeah when i was struggling badly. I talked to my mum and said i just want to get another gf. She said its the worse thing you can do because you need time to find happiness again where as moving on straight away, youre using other people to find happiness. Becoming clingy and reliant on them to make you happy.

 

You are never going to have a true relationship until you are happy without the need of anyone else. your ex is using other guys to stop the effects a break up has on you. It probably works temporarily but will wear off and all the problems will be back

[Charlie101]

Yeah exactly bro....she ain't happy in her own life and I know that she ain't happy with her own life so that will al come back up, just let her get on with it now.

 

I'm gunna keep concentrating on me till I'm happy then get out there in the game again

[xinaxxsdertf]

She thinks she needs someone else now after having you for so long. thinks she cant live without a partner now. That is just a doomed mindset to have and is gonna suck when she is finally forced to be alone and theres no one there to pick her up.

 

I need to stop letting my ex control my life. Its not that im scared i wobt get anyone else. Im quite confident in my looks and talking to other girls. I use to be a bit of a player when i was younger thinking i was so good lol so my ex was the one that tamed me. the way she changed me and always motivated me always plays in my head. I miss that closeness with her which takes a good year or so of living together to achieve. Thats why i miss herand let her control. I have to learn to let go of those things and try to stop missibg it. I guess only time can heal those kind of wounds.

[Charlie101]

Yeh mate, she's always done it though from what I can gather moving into new relationships quickly even before me, red flag now I guess haha.

 

Yeah you do mate you'll get someone that you can share and do all those things with bigger and better though mate one that won't walk out when times get tough yano one that will stand by you properly.

[xinaxxsdertf]

Yea who knows, a few months down the track you might still be posting on here and be saying you have found tge girl of your dreams. Those moments always helps us realize that everything happens for a reason. Our girls left us because its all part of the plan of making your way towards that girl that was born to meet you at some point in life. One day i will look back at this ex and just be so thankful for the time we got to have together. It has been the best 2 years of my life.

 

she taught me how to love, how to care for someone and how it feels to want everything in the world for someone else instead of yourself. I have the feeling i will always love her even in years to come. She will be a story i will tell my kids about the one who couldve been. Astonishing how a person you meet in your life can just have the biggest impact on you.

[Charlie101]

Possibly mate who knows, we never know what's just around the corner, all I know now is to get on with my life and stop thinking about her, if someone wants to leave your life help them pack is what I'm saying now, so **** her and her bull****.

 

I know how you feel mate, it's crazy how much of an I pact someone can have in your life and change it so much, but that's what life is about, sometimes people come into our lives to help us change and adapt and become better people and once they have they leave, because we no longer need them.

[xinaxxsdertf]

Right on brother. If they dont want to be in our lives then pack their bags for them and escort them straight to the door. My ex thinks she can leave me but still text saying she loves me and misses me? What a joke. I just realised i need to stop falling into the trap, i keep replying everytime she says it. But yet when she dumped and i was telling her i need her and love her, her response was "its just not working".

 

Why have i forgotten all this, i got so caught up in missing her that i forgot about the bad things. need to get myself back into NC and stick to it.

[Charlie101]

That's what you need to do bro, remember all the bad things anytime you think you miss he or she texts you saying that just try and focus on her leaving you and not caring about you and any bad thing she has done to you to help you, go nc now bro and stick to it you've told her it's all or nothing and all she wants to do is keep playing her little games, time to move on mate.

[xinaxxsdertf]

That's what you need to do bro, remember all the bad things anytime you think you miss he or she texts you saying that just try and focus on her leaving you and not caring about you and any bad thing she has done to you to help you, go nc now bro and stick to it you've told her it's all or nothing and all she wants to do is keep playing her little games, time to move on mate.

 

Yeah i need to remember all the bad things. its hard, im struggling at the moment. but I can hopefully start thinking about her bad things. Im in NC now and am going to try not break this one. its like im always still waiting for a text from her now. Even when i dont want one, i still keep checking my phone if she texted or not..

[privategal]

I know man, I had a big thing to write out my feelongs tell her everything but after she said that I was just like she's completely shut the door on me so I just said I'd appreciate you not ****ing with my heart and feelings at your disposal goodbye, left it at that.....I just can't ****ing believe moving on just like that that quick after everything and tout then being so heartless about it like yeah done nothing wrong do what I want, yeah you can but ****ing hell, I literally meant nothing, cheers, definitely one of those people that can't not be in a relationship jumping from one to the other.

 

 

It don't work like that though mate he has to want it all or nothing yano.

 

Just cause shes dating means nothing about if she cares for you or loved you.

She is in.a rebound that wont last and now she knows your thinking of her still. You shouldn't have. She won't be happy long term. This guy is just mr. Right now.

You're better off keeo going. Delete your fb.

[Charlie101]

Yeh I know I shouldn't have, couldn't bare not knowing though...but I have the closure I wanted now that has given me the motivation I needed to completely drop all hope and move on with my life, so swings and roundabouts really, as hard as it is to hear and see.

 

You need to block and delete her number pal because then she won't be able to text you and you won't be waiting for one because you no she won't be able to.

[Charlie101]

I wrote this out to her today but didn't send it and posted it here instead :/ because I know nothing makes a difference to her and I don't want her to know I'm hurt anymore cause I did all that.

 

I still love you....I have hung onto this hope that I would be seeing you at the end of this month, so we've been out of contact for 2 months now, I thought that we'd go our separate ways sort ourselves out then when it came to seeing eachother again at this event we'd have a talk and see how things go, to find out that you have already started dating another guy has torn me apart, I know where I went wrong in the relationship and things I could of done better to show you how much you meant to me, I thought we had something special and that we'd be okay, I miss you everyday, holding your hand listening to your laugh, the horribly annoying noise you make when you eat, your mad bursts of energy when something excites you, the way you snuggle your head into me when you want to sleep, I miss everything about you I could write this all day long,

you picked me up again when I was down, my sleepless nights having my bad dream, but when I was sleeping next to you I felt safe again I felt at home and I hadn't felt like that ever since coming back from Afghanistan, you brought my faith back into people again, I know I lost my way abit and the motivated, and determined person I was dissappeared for a while and I stopped doing the things I should of done for you and I'm sorry for that, if I could turn back that time I would, I'd walk into yours and say get ready I'm taking you out tonight like you wanted me to do for so long, I realise that now, I don't know how you have got over it so quickly I wish you'd give me some of that strenght because I still think of you everyday, I still love you with all my heart, I'm finding it hard, I see your face whenever I play with our dog the way I use to be stern with him and you were a complete push over and now he doesn't stop chasing the bludy squirrels, he's such a softy now

 

I'd give anything to hold you again in my arms tight and do it right this time, I wish you could somehow see how much you mean to me, I tried to tell you but you had already gone and I've not heard from you since...but I love you still

 

I feel like such a wimp writing this crap out but makes you feel better at least, just wish it made a difference lol. Definitly been set back finding out she's moved on with someone else, humph.

[jalapeno86]

Damn dude. I totally get it. I kind of wish dudes in break-ups had some kind of meetup group or something.

 

I totally get it. I want to write the same thing to my ex-. I read this thinking like man, could this get her back? And, like damn, what did he do so wrong. I've been following your posts man. At least on this thread. And, we are in a similar situation. I luckily, haven't experienced her being with another guy yet. So, I know that would really break me down. But, last night my friend got back with his ex-. They had broke up 4 months ago.

 

I'm not trying to say there is hope. But really, like you could just wait it out longer. I really think, that with your ex-, or my ex- ... if my ex- ends up with another dude, I'd flip my ****. It would really ruin my day, and I hate having this get in the way of my school and work, but it does. It does, so bad, I feel like breaking down just because of how I let it make me feel. It's not fair.

 

Anyways, rebounds rarely work. ****, they might only work if she's younger, and she likes to be in relationships over dating. But they will eventually split up. But, you'd be over her by then. Or, if she's a little older, she's not gonna stay in a **** relationship, because she might wanna settle down, so it'll just be a fling, and she'll be open again. Maybe that's in 4 months. But yeah. You gotta find a way to get her off your mind. Keep yourself busy. Don't contact her, don't look at things about her. It's gonna drive you nuts. It just made me nuts this morning.

[Charlie101]

Hey man...I know you just think if you just explain to them and tell them how you feel maybe there's a chance, but it wouldn't do any good I know it wouldn't change her mind, it just sucks man...I didn't do that much wrong I went through a hard time with my family and money so I got really down for abit and wasn't happy and relied a lot on her to make me happy sort of thing and stopped doing the things for her I should of like going out to dinner ect, so we started arguing a fair bit and it just took its toll, i got it all under wraps but by that time it was too late she'd already made up her mind and left, I've sorted all of the propblems we argues over now, like literally everything, got my own place got money everything is back to how it was in the beginning but it's just all too little to late ain't it. I begged pleaded everything been nc now to sort myself out which I have.

 

Where do women get that switch from cause I really want to borrow one, I say women I should really say dumpers.

[xinaxxsdertf]

that post mate is pretty much exactly what I want to say to my ex. Its almost the exact same situation, i could nearly just copy/paste it and send it to her lol.

 

But youre right man its not going to get you anywhere her seeing that. Its just going to feed her ego knowing how broken you are over it and she will feel better when she sees you are struggling which will help her move on. Just like you want her to contact you saying shes struggling and missing you. That would make you feel better right? It would be easier to move on. Yeah thats how it makes her feel.

 

I too want to know where this switch is. I can see youre just like me. You feel like a pussy writing this stuff but it comes from the heart, i get told that im quite a sensetive guy and thats why my ex fell for me because i was soft and genuine. I have my tough guy moments and she was the only one that got to see my soft sensitive side. but in a break up, that emotional soft side is your worst friend because you also hurt more than the average person

[Charlie101]

I know man, I want her to say that to me though so I can say right let's start again but hey....

 

I know mate I spent about 3 hours on the phone to me mum last night talking about it and she said the exact same thing about me being the more sensitive type but I'm obviously to everyone else more of a man but I do have the soft side where I like to have the security and comfort of being with the person I want to be with and I put everything into it and that's why I hurt so much more....it's funny cause my sister is the exact opposite she's like well guarded and I tried to speak to her and she was like bludy he'll get over it all ready haha.

[Charlie101]

No need reasons why not to send it, I'm not doing a good job of convincing myself if anything I. Talking myself into sending it lol, ahhh why am I like this now, is it such a bad idea to tell her, I mean you only live once your meant to tell people that ain't ya right?

[xinaxxsdertf]

Have you sent it yet mate?

 

Yeah you only live once but shes with another guy now buddy. I personally think you shouldnt send it but we dont know what your ex is like so we cant tell you what to do here. But sending that text is just for you to receiv. a reply that youre hoping there is still hope with her. So you are most probably going to get a reply that you dont want.

 

shes on the rebound but in her head she will just think shes moving on and this guy will be helping her along the way. Plus she left you and then had no attempt at getting you back and moved on straight away into another guys arms.. that is the most uncool moat horrible things yoi can do. Obviously didnt think aboit her decision, didnt regret it, didnt think about how you felt and still had that reply to you last time showing she doesnt even care.

 

I know its hard man but you need to stay NC, shes already given you closure. You dont need any more or it will continue hurting you. Im in the same boat, cant stop thinking about my ex and im having urges to text her but i deserve more than having to chase after someone who dumped me so f*** her. Put our time and effort into aome one who deserves it man. I want to feel on the top of the world again but all my ex gives me is hurt and pain. so why hang around someone that keeps creating more pain

[xinaxxsdertf]

oh man worst night out clubbing ever..

 

was dancing in a club when i see my ex, i tried talking to her and then her ******* best friend comes along (who i didnt know is in town) and drags her away from me. i saw her like another 3 times and she was dancing having the time of her life.. i reacted to her best friend and told her to piss off so i just walked away.

 

then i receive a text this morning from my ex saying i was real immature lastnight and her friends dont deserve that.. f*** she doesnt give a s*** about any of her mates hurting me but the secind i say something back im the bad guy. I ended up going home really upset. I think my ex is too far gone she was texting me the other day saying she loves me and misses me. how does she change her mind so easily everytime. Im sick of her always getting what she wants and continuously hurting me.

[dyna85]

Your ex sounds really immature. First of all, for her best friend to pull her away from you, that's childish. I mean, isn't she woman enough to decide for herself with whom to interact? I'd be pissed if my friend pulled me away from talking with someone.

 

I think you had every right to tell her friend to piss off, since it wasn't her business to get involved.

 

I don't get why your ex doesn't understand this. Did you express the fact that it bothered you that her friend stuck her nose in your and her business?

 

Your ex sounds like she's trying to get under your skin. She knows how to push your buttons and if you feed into it, she'll continue to do it.

 

There's two options: open & honest communication and understanding or drama and frustration. Sounds like your both leaning on the latter end.

[xinaxxsdertf]

thats actually some good advice and same as what i was thinking..

She always sticks up for friends over me. I just hate how i get so hurt from these things they all have the biggest effect on me and yet it doesnt even phase her.

 

She has so much power over me. i said a few harsh things this morning and she just tells me to leave her alone. Exactly 2 days ago she was saying she needs me, she misses, she loves me, wamts to see me. And then i get no text at all yesterday and thrn day before and all of a sudden see her in a club?

[Charlie101]

Ahhh mate she sounds like s bitch also...she's playing games, she don't wanna be with you otherwise she would be already if she's saying those things, she just doesn't want anyone else to have you so keeps sending the I love you and I miss you messages every couple of days because she knows it's keeping you on the hook, why she knows she's got you as a backup until she meets someone new and she completely disappears of your radar mate....you need to disappear mate block and delete number facebook everything get out of her life because right now you need to get over her properly once you are then you can think rationally about the whole thing.

 

As for me, I never sent the message I decided against it as you were right I wasn't sending it so she knew how I felt because she knows I want a reply that I know I wouldn't get, but the fact she's dating someone knew already, ridiculous plus my mate sent me a picture of her on that tinder app, she use to tell me how ridiculous that stuff is how desperate people on there were ha and now we break up she's set up one and meeting guys off there, plus the guy she is dating has a kid, the amount of stick she gave me for dating someone before with a child was unreal now she's doing it....such a ****ing hippocrite, it's actually made me feel so much better because whilst I'm sorting myself out and becoming a much better person she's literally desperate to find someone it's almost sad. But hey her choice.

[Twigyy]

Just block her mate. If you don't want things to end badly you should stop texting her immediately, even if she texts you first. No matter what you say it's not gonna work out like how you want it to work.

 

My ex dumped me five weeks ago and on the third week she already gotten a new guy. Now I'm in day 12 of no contact, almost two weeks. If she wants to come back she will tell you. Before she says that please don't be bothered by her actions, just focus on yourself.

 

I sometimes look at her instagram finding for hope, but it never made me feel any better every time. Stay strong my friend.

[xinaxxsdertf]

Yeah thanks twiggy.

 

I think i finally know i have to do NC. I failed all week to start NC again but i feel like she is just f****** with me now. She texted me tonight saying shes thinking of me and hoping im doing okay. like wtf???

 

I dont get it! i need to let her go, i need to stop missing her, i need to stop being so miserable about her. Shes clearly wrong for me, why is it hurting me so much I just want to forget about her.. how can i stop this from running my life? how do you let go of the girl of your dreams..